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Friday, February 19, 2010

AFF Friday

I was absent the day Sarah Palin was elected World Spokesperson for People with Down Syndrome, so I’ll just turn things over to Andrea Fay Friedman.

Posted by Michael on 02/19 at 10:14 AM
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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Evan Bayh lashes out at Congress, gridlock

Washington, DC—In a sign that political paralysis in Congress is taking a toll on its own members, Sen. Evan Bayh (D-Ind.) on Monday unexpectedly announced he would not run for reelection this year, blasting the Senate for its recent failure to address major issues like reducing unemployment and the federal deficit.

“After all these years, my passion for service to my fellow citizens is undiminished, but my desire to do so in Congress has waned,” said Bayh, whose decision to step down was all the more surprising because he appeared almost certain to be reelected to a third term in November even though he represents a predominantly Republican state.

“There is too much partisanship and not enough progress—too much narrow ideology and not enough practical problem-solving,” Bayh said in a statement. “Even at a time of enormous challenge, the people’s business is not being done.”

“Two weeks ago, the Senate voted down a bipartisan commission to deal with one of the greatest threats facing our nation: our exploding deficits and debt. The measure would have passed, but seven members who had endorsed the idea instead voted ‘no’ for short-term political reasons,” he said.

“Just last week, a major piece of legislation to create jobs—the public’s top priority—fell apart amid complaints from both the left and right. All of this and much more has led me to believe that there are better ways to serve my fellow citizens, my beloved state and our nation than continued service in Congress.”

Bayh blamed “so-called centrist Democrats” for enabling Republican obstructionism, claiming that they were exploiting Senate filibuster rules to extract concessions that capitulate to capricious Republican demands and water down White House initiatives.  “A handful of ‘Blue Dog’ Democrats in both chambers did all they could to blunt Obama’s agenda, block meaningful health care reform, and reinforce the image of the Democrats as a party unable to govern,” Bayh said.  “The Republicans couldn’t have done it all by themselves—they needed the help of a key group of Democrats who were willing to repeat their talking points and serve as all-purpose concern trolls.  Some of them did it for personal gain, some for sheer pettiness, but it doesn’t matter what their motives were.  What matters is that they have effectively sealed the Democrats’ fate for the foreseeable future.”

Bayh refused to name specific members of Congress in the statement, but a senior aide said privately that Bayh was “especially furious” at Senate Democrats who pose publicly as “deficit hawks” but vote repeatedly to lower tax rates on the very rich.  “Evan wants those people out of the Senate altogether,” said the aide, “and he wants them out now.”

Posted by Michael on 02/16 at 11:39 AM
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Monday, February 15, 2010

Guns and puppies

I keep forgetting to note that State College, Pennsylvania is now the official world capital of basset hound blogging.  Congratulations to TBogg and Mrs. TBogg and their lovely family!  Sorry about the snow.  But you’re all welcome back anytime.

Over at the Timber that Cannot be Straightened, we’re having a nice pleasant discussion about bringing guns to faculty meetings.  I managed to work a District 9 link into the update about Instapundit, but I don’t suppose anyone is going to get it.

Posted by Michael on 02/15 at 05:34 PM
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Friday, February 12, 2010

ABF Friday:  Special Science Fiction Edition!

It’s so great to see that this guy has his very own blog.  Though he should update it more often if he wants to become a real A-lister.  I kept telling you that the giant enlightened insects were coming, but would you listen to me?  Noooooo.  Well, we’re all Multi-National United now.

Blogs are so 2005, though.  And in the spirit of aught-five, I’d like to say a couple of things about the first season of Battlestar Galactica.  The opening miniseries is very effective, and sheds new light (for me) on how much of the wingnut mentality depends on seeing apocalyptic threats everywhere, like that time when the inscrutable Cylon Soviet Mexican Islamists killed all but fifty thousand of us.  And this household hearts Starbuck.  Who wouldn’t?

But we have two complaints.  One, the setting in the distant past.  Yes, we understand that this will all be explained in the end, and the polytheistic humans and monotheistic Cylons will eventually be us, and the twelve colonies will become the twelve constellations, got it.  But didn’t any of the writers see that this would pose a spot of trouble along the way when it came to accessories and backgrounds?  Like, for instance, why is it that ancient humans had corded telephones and suits and neckties and stuff, and then lost them, and then got them back again?  Take the victory celebration after Baltar’s election as vice-president: are you telling me that ancient humans danced to swing music, then forgot it, then invented it again in the twentieth century? 

More important, the distant-past thing takes a lot of sand out of the bag, so to speak.  I mean, I don’t know about you, but for me, nine-tenths of the fun and interest in science fiction is the depiction of a more-or-less plausible future.  (See below for today’s Arbitrary game!) And I didn’t realize I felt this way until I started thinking for a while about the whole entire premise of BSG, so it’s not like I came to the series with a bad attitude.

Two, we hate the Number Six / Gaius Baltar plot.  Hate it hate it hate it.  And all its silly devices, too.

After we started season two last night, I asked Janet to remind me just why we were doing this anyway.  Weren’t we going to catch up on Deadwood or something instead?  She said that a friend and colleague told her that we absolutely had to see Battlestar Galactica first because, in the friend’s words, “it’s like The West Wing with sex.” When Janet told her that we’d never seen The West Wing, our friend did what all our academic friends do when we tell them we’ve never seen seen The West Wing: she fell out of her chair. 

Apparently we were supposed to watch The West Wing. 

Anyway, now that the enlightened insects are here and one of them has his own blog, which SF movie most plausibly depicts what the Earth will be like in the next few decades?

2001, except for the floating-fetus bit and, oh yeah, except for the whole “set-in-2001” bit.

Blade Runner, except for the flying cars.

Children of Men, except for the global-infertility epidemic.

I Am Legend 28 Days Later, except with extra zombies.

Independence Day, except that the First Lady survives the helicopter crash and becomes President of the Twelve Colonies.

Terminator series, except that after the terminator comes at us in a big truck carrying crude oil or liquid nitrogen or something, and we crush it in a drill press or maybe shoot it and shatter it into a million pieces, but then his metal forearm survives and provides scientists with the basis for creating a whole new kind of artificial intelligence, and then the liquid-metal terminator re-forms and we have to shoot it with one of those huge exploding bullets and make it fall backwards into a vat of molten steel, and then we send ourselves back into the past (that is, the present) to protect ourselves from the terminators who want to start a global thermonuclear war, but then it turns out that the war happens anyway, which is kind of complicated, because we thought we’d avoided it when we shot the liquid-metal terminator with the huge exploding bullet and he fell into the vat of molten steel, but then we win the war in the future and also there’s a sequel to the molten-vat part that’s also a prequel to the ... never mind, I meant to say “except for the part where the terminator becomes governor of California and turns the state into a barren, nightmarish landscape of twisted steel.” Because that’s from Demolition Man.

District 9, except for ... no, that one seems pretty much spot on.

Your suggestions?

Posted by Michael on 02/12 at 12:33 PM
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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Snow snow snow snow snow

So when is Al Gore going to return that Nobel Prize for If You Don’t Recycle It Will Never Snow Again?

Just in from a round of “knock the icicles off the roof” and a brief snowball fight with Jamie.  The fight was brief because, well, let’s just say that you don’t want to get into a snowball fight with Jamie.  He has a strong arm and is accurate like a “laser.” I took one to the left eye and one to the right cheek before surrendering and going inside to eat cheese.

(Interpolated update:  a friend just sent this implicit commentary on the above grafs.)

OK, back to older news.  About those wimmen-hating Super Bowl ads:  it’s not as if very much time or money or thought went into them, after all.  Seriously, people, I warned you about the creeping Bradley Cooperization of American masculinity months and months ago, but did you listen to me?  Nooooooo.  And now you’ve all got The Hangover.

Finally, I hear that much has happened lately in the world of talking-about-retards.  Apparently a vicious and incompetent White House chief of staff should resign (or just apologize repeatedly) for calling liberal Democrats “fucking retarded,” but a vicious and incoherent professional gasbag/ part-time drug addict can insist that it’s OK “to call retards ‘retards,’” because that’s “satire.” This is too hard for me to keep up with, so I figure I’ll just refer everyone to this ancient post in which I called for the banning of words I don’t like and therefore violated every principle for which the Founding Fathers fought and died suggested that you can call people “jackasses” (and many other insults!) instead.  Though I added an important caveat:

If you’re concerned about stigmatizing jackasses, however, on the grounds that you may be likening an innocent beast to a hideous human (or, conversely, figuratively dehumanizing one of your fellow men or women), you can always adopt the more politically correct term “jackass-American,” presuming, of course, that the jackass in question is -American.

So next time you’re fed up with someone and you want to call his or her intelligence or judgment into question, remember: you might be better off with insults that speak to the performance of intelligence or judgment rather than to capacity.  This isn’t just a matter of politeness; it’s also a matter of proper English usage.  Many, many morons and retards have very good judgment about some matters, whereas many, many ostensibly intelligent people make bafflingly, excruciatingly bad decisions.  Why?  Because some of them are knaves, and others gulls, and still others hoodlums and miscreants.  That’s why.

This goes for the Tea Party Patriots™ as well, of course!  Don’t hurl unseemly epithets at people who do the selective-outrage thing about the R-word and proceed to share the Tea Party Patriot™ stage with rabid-right birther Joseph Farah.  Remember, Jackass-Americans are an important part of our national heritage.  As for Rahm, well, perhaps a politically sensitive job like WH chief of staff just isn’t for him.  Washington, D.C. contains many fine establishments such as the Institute for Pissing On Liberals, the Center for Advanced Triangulation, and the Foundation for Squandering Democrats’ Political Capital; his talents might be better suited to one of those organizations.  Not to mention the National Association for the Advancement of Jackass-Americans.

Posted by Michael on 02/10 at 05:14 PM
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Monday, February 08, 2010

Mister Answer Man Answered

American Airspace regrets to announce that Mister Answer Man’s contract will not be renewed for 2010.  We appreciate his long and distinguished service to this blog and his once-formidable skills as a Super Bowl prognosticator.  We wish him well in his future endeavors, wherever they may take him.

American Airspace will continue to reach out to guest bloggers to provide predictions and commentary on major sports events.  For the Stanley Cup playoffs, we are currently in negotiations with Guy Lafleur and Theo Fleury.

Posted by Michael on 02/08 at 11:45 AM
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