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Sunday, October 03, 2004

Hey hey, my my

Despite all the apparent damage done to blogdom over the past week-- in certain quarters that shall not be named-- I’d just like to remind you all that blogging can never die.  Partly that’s because there are still hundreds of words to which “blog” has not yet been attached as a prefix:  sure, there’s blogrolling, blogtopia, blogosphere, blogorama, blogemeinschaft, and now “bloggicane” (as in, “look out CBS, we will rock you like a bloggicane"), but where are the analyses of blographia, bloglossolalia, and blogastroenteritis, not to speak of the long-overdue deconstruction of the phalloblogocentrism of the Western metaphysical tradition?

But more importantly, blogging can never die unless the blogeist, through a process of dialectical self-overcoming, achieves a self-awareness that simultaneously unfolds as a consciousness of the movements of blogeschichte, which in turn reveal themselves as the condition for that very consciousness, in which we . . . uh . . . write things like this. . . .

Oh dammit, now I’ve ruined it for everybody.  Sorry about that.  Well, it was nice while it lasted.

I’ll be back tomorrow with an appropriately post-blogospheric item from the Bush campaign.

Posted by Michael on 10/03 at 06:12 AM
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Saturday, October 02, 2004

If elected I will not serve

My sources inform me that I have been nominated in Rox Populi’s “Best Political Bloggers Contest,” (officially known as the “I Call Bullshit and Offer My Own Best Political Bloggers Contest") under the heading “Best Political Blogs Most of Blogdom Hasn’t Heard Of.” I am honored to have been chosen to be among the . . . .

But wait-- if you’re here, you’ve already heard of this blog!  Gaaaaaaah, another insolvable conundrum!  Even worse than the hallucination-inducing phenomenon of watching Bush go after Kerry for alienating our allies!  Will it never stop?!?

Anyway, the other nominees in my category are Sensory Overload, Alternative Hippopotamus, Feministe, and Neal Pollock.  I’d never heard of Sensory Overload before, so the category obviously serves as a form of pedagogy all by itself.  So go vote for someone other than me.

Posted by Michael on 10/02 at 09:02 AM
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Friday, October 01, 2004

Stats and prizes

Old blog record for visits-in-one-month:  44,522
New record:  89,627

Thanks to everyone who stopped by in September-- and brought a friend!  Of course, just 373 more visitors would’ve put me over 90,000, but who’s counting?

Now for the prizes.  Well, just one fake prize-- if you want me to start awarding real prizes, I’m going to have to take blog ads, and before you know it, I’ll just be another corporate shill.  So, then, here we go.  Though the competition was intense, Hugh Hewitt broke away from the pack at the last second to win September’s “I Am the Back End of a Horse” Award with a Sept 30 Weekly Standard essay in which he threatened an “enormous blowback” if the liberal media don’t focus on how orange John Kerry’s face is.  Hewitt opens by noting that brave, intrepid right-wing blogs broke this critical story, but

the morning papers-- except the New York Post-- said not a word. The Boston Globe, the Chicago Sun-Times, and other old media found space to cover the decision of the Crawford, Texas’ Lone Star Iconoclast-- circulation 425-- to endorse John Kerry, but refused to acknowledge a genuine, though bizarre, story that is actually having an impact on the race-- because they collectively don’t think it should be having an impact on the race.

Yep, you heard that right.  The liberal media paid attention when Bush’s hometown paper delivered a long, detailed endorsement of Kerry, but were strangely, suspiciously silent about the color of Kerry’s face!  I demand an investigation!!  Send those left-wing Sun-Times editors to Gitmo!!

It’s very sad and a little bit scary, but this really is what the wingnuts are reduced to.  They’ve lined up behind the most incompetent U.S. President since Garfield lapsed into that coma, they’ve spent four years comparing him to Churchill, Henry V, and Jesus Christ, and now they’re demanding that media coverage of the 2004 election concentrate on the challenger’s appearance-- or else they’ll take down Jim Lehrer just like they did Dan Rather!

For wingnuttery beyond the call of duty and beyond the reach of parody, Hugh Hewitt is September’s Back End of a Horse.  Remember, all prizes must be claimed in person!  And be sure to watch for possible nominees in October!

Posted by Michael on 10/01 at 07:08 AM
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