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Monday, July 03, 2006

Today’s scandals

Durr003

Punkass Marc explains why being on the left is so much fun.

[I]t’s where we get to make up scandals all the time without any corroboration (except Townhouse, of course).

-President Bush tongue-kissed Cheney’s secret gay lover in Prince’s hot tub!

-Rummy caught smuggling blow to his army of mole-men under the Pentagon!

-Michelle Malkin’s got a raging hard-on for Auguste!

What’s dribbled out of Townhouse that’s too HOTT for The New Republic:

-Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee‘s battle with bulimia--Binge/purge buddy John McCain tells all.

-“Norbizness” exposed! Mild mannered Austinite is (the surprisingly well-preserved) Roberto Duran. Fuck online integrity, the public has a right to know.

-Mitt Romney secretly weds 37 pregnant teens as part of the Grooms for Life Program.

[x-posted at Majikthise.]

Posted by Lindsay Beyerstein on 07/03 at 07:57 PM
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Hey you kids, get off my internets!

Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska explains net neutrality and the internet:

There’s one company now you can sign up and you can get a movie delivered to your house daily by delivery service. Okay. And currently it comes to your house, it gets put in the mail box when you get home and you change your order but you pay for that, right.

But this service isn’t going to go through the interent and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and you order your movie and guess what you can order ten of them delivered to you and the delivery charge is free.

Ten of them streaming across that internet and what happens to your own personal internet?

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially. [Blog.Wired]

Listen to Senator Stevens on net neutrality.

Extra-special bonus, says of Deutsche Telekom, “Douche Telecom wants to spend $3.8 billion...”

[x-posted at Majikthise.]

Posted by Lindsay Beyerstein on 07/03 at 12:25 PM
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Sunday, July 02, 2006

State Fossil Contest

In honour of July 4th, I thought I’d take a moment to praise those states that have adopted official State fossils.

Unfortunately only 78% of American states have an official fossil.

So, I think we’ve come up with the perfect wedge issue for 2006 in Arkansas, Hawaii, Indiana, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Texas--ballot initiatives to give these states their own official fossils.

If the Republicans are going to rally their base with gay marriage, we’ve got to throw some red meat to the core atheist constituency.

Now, we just need to come up with a shortlist of official fossils. So, in order to do that, I’m holding an 4th of July “Fossils are Winners” Contest. Write a blog post (or a comment) endorsing fossils for official-fossilless Sates. Explain why your favorite fossil species embodies the spirit of that State.

I’ll announce the winners on July 4th. 

[Cross-posted at Majikthise]

Posted by Lindsay Beyerstein on 07/02 at 10:58 PM
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Doffing the cap

Hi folks, I’m Lindsay’s co-guestblogger, Chris Clarke. You might know me from such comments as “Dorky Snark” and “The Perfect Smarm.” I’m a little distracted today: I seem to be momentarily famous this weekend for having abused the young Eliot to smack down Jeff “Chirpy” Goldstein.

While I appreciate the extremely generous kudos I’ve received, I have to say the experience is not unlike being approached by the MacArthur people for having idly crushed a slug with my boot. Nonetheless, as we know from the operant conditioning folks, positive reinforcement will only encourage a guy like me, and so, predictably, I’m hard at work on Round Two. This is what I’ve got so far:

I wish the gent
would go get bent.

But I’m blocked after that. Any suggestions? Seems too short to me. Working title: A Little Deertick Of No Importance.

As for subjects of actual consequence, over the next few days I’ll be checking in from the road as I do fieldwork for a piece I’m writing on the environmental impacts of the Bush Administration’s border fence. Days luxuriating on dusty hikes in 105 degree heat, and then evenings with the laptop and wi-fi. What could be better?

In the meantime, feel free to suggest topics even less deserving of tribute poetry than the one I’ve chosen above.  Horowitz hairstyling tips haiku? Fred Phelps free verse? There must be some others.

Posted by Chris Clarke on 07/02 at 11:47 AM
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Saturday, July 01, 2006

Putting another name to a face

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Lindsay from Majikthise and I’ll be guest-blogging chez Berube until the 17th of July.

At first I wasn’t sure I could do this. What qualified me to guest-blog for a professor of literature?

Luckily, Amanda of Pandagon saved the day with late-breaking Scientific Proof that I look like Sylvia Plath.

So, I’m good to go. 

image

Posted by Lindsay Beyerstein on 07/01 at 01:09 PM
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