Thursday, June 30, 2005
I have a friend with a dog named Luther, more likely an hommage to the villain in Batman than a nod to the ultimate apostate, Martin Luther. In any case, Luther, an over-exuberant black lab, bit a houseguest (in the face, no less)—and off he went to obedience school. A full two weeks away from home for re-education. And the deal includes life-time refresher courses as needed for no extra charge.
The other night I dreamed that Bush named Luther as his Supreme Court nominee. In front of the cameras, the President told the assembled press corps that humans were just too unreliable. Rehnquist and Thomas wanted to protect sick folks using marijuana from the wrath of the DEA. Even Scalia had demurred at giving the Commander-in-Chief carte blanche to hold “enemy combatants” indefinitely without making any effort to ascertain if those held actually were enemy combatants. “No,” Bush said, “you just can’t beat a dog for faithfulness and dependability. Plus we can send him back to obedience school anytime he steps out of line. Although, maybe if Bill Frist were a lawyer instead of a doctor, I might have considered him.”