Friday, December 23, 2005
A happy 133,174 to you all
Last year, this relentlessly annoying blog signed off for the year on December 22, noting with undisguised self-satisfaction that it had received 640,000 visitors in its first twelve months of existence. And it fired a decisive shot in the War on Christmas:
It’s time to remind the infidels and agnostics that the mother-lovin’ Prince of Peace can kick their asses all the way to Gehenna! So this Christ-Mas season, get in the face of some pushy, hook-nosed anti-Christmas agitator near you, and say, “Merry My-God-Became-Flesh-And-Yours-Didn’t-Day, you un-American slimeball. Why don’t you just take your little ‘civil liberties’ someplace else.”
But this year, this humble blog has mellowed a bit. Partly that’s because we’ve hosted 1.6 million readers for the year as opposed to last year’s paltry .6 million (yes, I know some of you have visited more than once, but still, my annual stats are steadily creeping up on Kos’s dailies), but mostly it’s because we’re getting old, slow, and complacent. How old are we getting? This old: yesterday I used the word “pwned” in a conversation with 19-year-old Nick, whereupon he turned to his friends and said, “hmmm, now we’re going to have to make up a whole new word.” He’s been home 36 hours, and the parental mockery has already begun.
And as I’ve mellowed, I’ve come to realize that there is, in fact, no War on Christmas. In fact, the anodyne phrase “happy holidays,” far from being a brazen secularist denial of the miracle of Jesus Christ’s birth, is almost as offensive as “Merry Christmas” itself, insofar as it suggests that some days are “holy.”
So I’d like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Molochmas and a very pagan New Year.
I’ll leave it to the culture warriors to determine why the Christians have declared war on New Year’s Day; me, I’m just gonna celebrate the year 133,174 in style. I date my calendar the evolutionist way, from the emergence of Homo sapiens sapiens, and you should too.
Oh, and speaking of things that you should do: please visit Digby and contribute a dollar or two to his (or her) Molochmas cheer. I chipped in last week, because (a) I visit his (or her) blog every day and (b) I visit his (or her) blog every day because every day, I think that the radical right has achieved a remarkable degree of hegemony over “official" political commentary in the United States except for the left blogosphere, and every day, I think that having Digby on our side is a reason to keep on living anyway.
Merry Molochmas to you, Mr. (or Ms.) Digby, and many many more.
Thanks to all my readers, who helped to make 133,173 (a.k.a. 2005) such a fun year for the blog. (Except for the appendectomy. That was a drag.) Thanks also to John McGowan for some fine guest hosting. Next year, folks, this blog will elevate its game, thereby taking its game to the Next Level, a state of being in which it is possible to wear a Game Face and give 110 percent.