Monday, October 31, 2005
And now a word from our sponsor
Are you feeling run down? Unpopular? Are you anxious about possible indictments? Prone to hot-tempered outbursts? Unable to stay upright while riding a bicycle?
Take strong, fast-acting Alito®. Alito® contains the active ingredient brimstone sulfate, shoring up the base while rearranging the news cycle. For leaders in distress, Alito® is truly a gift from Wonder-Working Providence.
So if you’re depressed and worried about your political fortunes, remember, four out of five spin doctors recommend Alito®.
Use only as directed. Potential side effects include loss of workplace protections, civil liberties, reproductive rights, constitutional amendments, hair, memory, and eyesight. Not recommended for democracies or republics.