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Friday, June 17, 2005

Arbitrary but fun:  bonus edition!

I’m pleased to announce that John McGowan and I have reached a Comprehensive Co-Blogging Agreement, whereby he will post here on Thursdays, beginning next Thursday, June 23.  He will of course keep working on his own blog, Public Intelligence, which you should visit on a regular basis; he’ll probably cross-post on those Thursdays.  The Comprehensive Co-Blogging Agreement acknowledges, among other things, the rarity of such arrangements in the blogosphere, whereby a single-author blog dedicates one day to a guest blogger who keeps his own blog as well; accordingly, the Agreement stipulates, in section 147(c)(3)(iii), that “we will do this for a couple of months and see how it works out.”

You can see why it took us more than a week to decide on the exact wording of this complex undertaking.

On those Thursdays, I will (most of the time) resume my long-neglected duties as a member of the third or fourth string of the American Street team, and try to post something light and airy over there.  The Agreement mentions this in Annex C, but only in vague terms.  Personally, though, I think this is a good idea for blogs in general: every Thursday, everyone should post something on somebody else’s blog. Then we’ll see some common social spaces on the Internets!

Now, to some of the things I didn’t do this week: I didn’t post anything yesterday, but that’s because I spent all Wednesday afternoon writing Wednesday’s post, and I just can’t crank out those 3000-worders all the time, you know.  I’m still plugging away at That Other Thing I’m Writing, and will be for a while yet.  So I didn’t stop in to cheer the House of Representatives’ vote on Section 215 of the Patriot Act.  Always nice to have a glimmer of hope here and there for the nation’s collective sanity.  Sure, 238-187 isn’t veto-proof, but it’s better than last year’s vastly annoying 210-210 tie.  And yes, the new provision would still allow the government to track the Internet viewing records of library patrons, but that’s all right with me: the Internets are very dangerous places, and the Department of Homeland Security obviously needs to know who’s checking out videos of pie fights and then clicking on sites that tell you how to handle anthrax.  If we are to protect ourselves from having our ample breasts smeared by terrorists wielding anthrax-meringue pies, we need to keep tracking Internet use in public libraries. That’s the important shit.

Also, I didn’t say a word about President Bush’s visit to State College on Tuesday, where he spoke to the Pennsylvania FFA (formerly the Future Farmers of America) at Penn State’s Eisenhower Auditorium on the subject of Social Security.  One of my friends wrote in to say, “the President comes to your little town and you don’t even take notice?  And you call yourself a blogger?” Well, it just so happens I have a good excuse:  I was speaking about blogging that day, at the very same time as Mr. Bush (just after 2 pm)—at Web 2005, a conference for Penn State web professionals.  It was the first time I’ve ever been on a panel about blogging, unlike all you really famous bloggers out there who leap bloggily coast-to-coast from blogging panel to blogging panel.  But even though I have this ironclad excuse, the real reason I didn’t say anything about Bush’s visit is that I completely misread the local news.  Fool that I am, I thought President Eisenhower was coming to speak at Bush Auditorium, and I assumed that he was just going to recite those great lines about Social Security and Texas oilmen – you know,

Now it is true that I believe this country is following a dangerous trend when it permits too great a degree of centralization of governmental functions. I oppose this—in some instances the fight is a rather desperate one. But to attain any success it is quite clear that the Federal government cannot avoid or escape responsibilities which the mass of the people firmly believe should be undertaken by it. The political processes of our country are such that if a rule of reason is not applied in this effort, we will lose everything—even to a possible and drastic change in the Constitution. This is what I mean by my constant insistence upon “moderation” in government. Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are H. L. Hunt (you possibly know his background), a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid.

Imagine my disappointment when I realized the truth.  Apparently President Bush didn’t say anything like this!  Instead, he said almost the exact opposite thing!

“It’s not the government’s money. It’s the people’s money,” Bush said to the audience at Eisenhower Auditorium that was limited to FFA members and a few invited guests.

Bush has proposed allowing Social Security recipients to invest as much as a third of their 12 percent payroll tax in private accounts. Doing so, he said, would give them a “nest egg” that would earn better returns than Social Security and could be left to family or friends.

It would be part of the Social Security system, and a supplement to Social Security, he said.

“But it’s your money. No one can take it away from you. It’s your money. It’s money you can pass on to whomever you choose,” Bush said.

Although the local paper didn’t mention this, apparently Bush added, “all of your money is yours.  That’s right, it’s not the result of complex social contracts and agreements, many of which are underwritten by government.  It’s simply yours.  That means taxation is theft!  And that’s why personal Social Security accounts make so much sense.  Nobody can take your money away from you in a personal account.  Unless, of course, you invest your money with people like me or one of my friends, in which case you can pretty much kiss it goodbye.  Heh.  Heh heh.”

And finally, it’s time to resume that popular Friday Feature: Arbitrary but Fun Value Judgments!  Today’s judgment is a little more complicated than my previous declarations of the best this and the creepiest that.  That’s because during my convalescence, I watched dozens of movies, including things like Garden State, which all the kids were talking about however many months ago.  So today, I’m taking nominations for Movies that Most Efficiently Combine Two or More Other Movies, and I’m starting things off with the recent Paul Haggis film, Crash, for its brutally efficient fusion of Magnolia, Short Cuts, and Grand Canyon.  Until Crash came along, if you wanted to see a movie about race relations in Los Angeles and/or a movie with variously intersecting story lines and a large ensemble cast, you had to sit through all three films—eight and a half hours in all, two-and-change of which were directed by Lawrence Kasdan (which adds two penalty hours to the total).  And Crash even gives you snow at the end instead of frogs!!  Much more plausible, while still being quirkily “conclusion-like” in a “the snow is general over all Los Angeles” kind of way.  That’s why I call it Grand Magnolia Canyon Short Cuts, and that’s why I think it’s ideal material for Arbitrary but Fun Value Judgments.  Your turn!

Have a fine weekend, everyone.

Posted by Michael on 06/17 at 11:31 AM
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