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ABF Friday:  It’s Party Time!

I’m pleased to report that the We Are All Giant Nuclear Fireball Now party is expanding like a . . . like a . . . well, like a giant nuclear fireball!  I’m sorry I haven’t been able to do any serious blogging or commenting this week, but I’ve been extremely busy with New Nihilist party-building politics.  First things first, I have concentrated on destroying the parties closest to mine.  Before I gear up to take on the corporate shills and kleptocrats of the behemoth I Don’t Know, Things Could Be Worse party, I have to delegitimate the waverers and the fellow travelers over at the odiously chirpy There Might Still Be a Sliver of Hope party and the reprehensibly meliorist It Wasn’t Worth Getting Out of Bed Today, But It Might Be Worth Getting Out of Bed Tomorrow party.

So while I’m doing that, this blog will hold its first-ever recruiting drive.  To join the We Are All Giant Nuclear Fireball Now party, and achieve the serenity and peace of mind promised by our name and elaborated in our platform (which includes a plank of yummy irradiated Copper River salmon), simply follow the lovely and talented Oaktown Girl’s suggestion in comment 48 of this thread, and finish the sentence,

One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

There’s only one proviso: you must use your captcha word in the completed sentence.  You’re on the honor system, of course, though I remind you that Foucault’s Lidless Eye sees all.  And what if your captcha word is “aspects” or “fireball”?  When life gives you radioactive lemons (or antlers!), just make radioactive lemonade (or antlerade!).

And have a great New Nihilist weekend!

Posted by on 10/06 at 11:57 AM
  1. Captcha: provide

    ... that it provides a reason to enjoy life, secure in the knowledge that at least all of the really horrible people are going to get vaporized along with the good ones.

    This also, by the way, is a good reason to be happy that we haven’t invented immortality yet.

    And that God doesn’t exist.

    New Nihilist #1

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:04 PM
  2. ...network television becomes far more watchable.

    (the reprehensibly meliorist It Wasn’t Worth Getting Out of Bed Today, But It Might Be Worth Getting Out of Bed Tomorrow party.

    As a member of the splinter faction of IWWGOBTBIMBWGOBT that appends, “If Only to Go to the Bathroom,” may I say that I’m bringing up merging with We Are All Giant Nuclear Fireball Now at our next meeting… assuming we ever get around to having one.)

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:06 PM
  3. . . that I would no longer have to <b>average<b> a certain amount of work per month to meet my yearly quota.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:06 PM
  4. GAAA! 

    Putting tags on text GIVEs me a headache.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:07 PM
  5. Captacha: however

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is...

    ...that it will evaporate those papers I have to grade, giving me a moment of bliss, however short it may be.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:07 PM
  6. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is that aliens viewing our planet from across the galaxy will know that we are strong.

    Captcha word - strong.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:07 PM
  7. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is ...

    ... that we all get to go skipping in fields of asphodel!

    Captcha: “asphodel!” I kid you not. Well, maybe a little.

    Posted by John Protevi  on  10/06  at  01:16 PM
  8. ...the look on Jesus’s face when He returns to find His world pre-Raptured.

    Posted by Scott Erik Kaufman  on  10/06  at  01:16 PM
  9. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is the obliteration of fantastically over-targeted [products] such as this.

    Posted by gavin m  on  10/06  at  01:20 PM
  10. ...I shall never be in WANT of a beer again.  Or anything else, for that matter.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:20 PM
  11. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is the end of teh jokes.

    Posted by Dick Durata  on  10/06  at  01:25 PM
  12. Captcha: captcha

    ...that I won’t need a captcha word anymore.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:25 PM
  13. ... the total demolition of those inexplicably revered architectural paeans to Taylorism designed by Louis Henri “Form Ever Follows Function” Sullivan.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/06  at  01:29 PM
  14. Captcha: race

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is that we’ll be able to forget about the rat race.

    Posted by J—  on  10/06  at  01:32 PM
  15. … the total demolition of those inexplicably revered architectural paeans to Taylorism designed by Louis Henri “Form Ever Follows Function” Sullivan

    (Although the rationalized and routinized system of elevator inspection they made necessary is worth taking time to appreciate.)

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/06  at  01:32 PM
  16. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    It couldn’t be REPORTED by the mainstream media that the fireball was all the Democrats’ fault.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:33 PM
  17. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is that I wouldn’t be left thinking, “All the new thinking is about loss; in this it resembles all the old thinking” on my blackberry, blackberry, blackberry.

    Posted by George  on  10/06  at  01:42 PM
  18. <i>One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is<>
    ..not have to put on all this regal finery every morning.

    (is that cheating?)

    #5: you too?

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:43 PM
  19. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    at least no one will need to feel sad anymore when they compare themselves to the intellectual über-elites — think Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle and Stanford’s Hoover Institution.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:45 PM
  20. . . . I wouldn’t have to worry about *writing* this damn conference paper.

    Posted by John  on  10/06  at  01:47 PM
  21. captcha: “week”

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    ...that I can stop hoping that maybe, just maybe, next week it’ll be worth getting out of bed to do more than go to the bathroom.

    Speaking of “week,” five entries in five days doesn’t qualify as serious blogging?  Or do you mean the other, non-volume serious: as in “heavy, man”?

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:48 PM
  22. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is that the whole “very bad people not being punished for their crimes against humanity and the Constitution” problem will be solved, and the 24-hour-news-cycle biffs, having been reduced to wisps of carbon on a radioactive wind, will not be insulting us by claiming that said punishment was a purely partisan attack, although, ironically, this one time it kinda will have been WAAGNFN-partisan, kinda.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:54 PM
  23. Dang it, #16, I guess brevity is all.  So OOTMPAOAGNFI that they will be brought to account.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:57 PM
  24. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    the anticipation of the quieting of the neighborhood electro-magnetic spectrum, ADDED to, of course, the view of this great spectacle from the moon.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  01:58 PM
  25. Smores

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  02:08 PM
  26. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    that it will illuminate Lee Siegel’s brilliance that lights the night of blogofascism.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  02:12 PM
  27. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is...

    British cuisine would be consumed as well, and I mean by the fireball.

    Okay, so the message aborted on the first go around, but I’m not backing off the sentiment. As a bonus, their godforsaken language will be gone with the cuisine.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  02:16 PM
  28. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is ...

    ... not having to share Teh Singularity with Glenn Reynolds.

    Posted by John Protevi  on  10/06  at  02:17 PM
  29. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is...

    that we will be freed of such nonsense as the variable spelling of Scot Erich Coughman’s name.

    Posted by Orange  on  10/06  at  02:17 PM
  30. That I will no longer have to worry about the terrible academic job market, fearing that I will be a has-been before I get to be.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  02:19 PM
  31. No more Al From

    Posted by sasha  on  10/06  at  02:27 PM
  32. All I have to add after clicking on the link Gavin provides in # 9 is:  that fireball can’t get here soon enough.

    And I think there’s something almost querulous about George’s comment in 17.  Because, you know, Robert Hass is among the most obnoxious of the deviationists.  “There are moments when the body is as numinous/ as words, days that are the good flesh continuing”—not no more, pal!  The WAAGNFN party is dedicated to the eradication of those days and moments.  And of the numinous, too. 

    And everyone across the universe will know we are strong.  (Thanks, Njorl!)

    Posted by Michael  on  10/06  at  02:31 PM
  33. that I will no longer have to look forward to the next election, only to be disappointed.

    Posted by Crazy Little Thing  on  10/06  at  02:33 PM
  34. ...at least I’ll…
    never hear…
    surf…
    music…
    again.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  02:46 PM
  35. ... that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of people.

    Posted by Central Content Publisher  on  10/06  at  02:50 PM
  36. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    ...that, if there is a hell--and God I hope so!--FOX News main man Bill O’Reilly, followed by his sergeant-at-arms Rush Limbaugh and his ever-faithful “page” Karl Rove, will be leading a long and undistinguished line of loudmouth right-wing creepos into hell’s fire; he’ll probably have them goosestepping to “Horst Vessel.”

    But I’m a dreamer.

    Posted by mat  on  10/06  at  02:58 PM
  37. .. the end of the arms industry

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  03:12 PM
  38. (which includes a plank of yummy irradiated Copper River salmon) = torrent of tears, or is that rain?

    Captcha = based (oh god, how f^<king utilitarian that word is for this party invitation.... one could of course claim a certain captcha word exists, with no way of monitoring same, right?)

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is... based on the inherent correctness of string theories, that posit infinite potential possibilities for yumping into other dimensional universes using the energy of the great ball’s of fire.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  03:14 PM
  39. I RETURN to suggest that we envision the end of numinosities whilst we apply for admission to the life of the party.

    ps: numinous Bob and Brenda are two to of the kinder and gentler friends i have.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  03:31 PM
  40. ... finally having a great tan, if only for that brief instant.

    Posted by Arkadin  on  10/06  at  03:36 PM
  41. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is...

    unlike milder apocalyptic scenarios (global warming, meteors, e.g.) a GNF makes it impossible for Life even to consider mounting another billions-of-years campaign to evolve complex, intelligent forms, ever again.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  04:06 PM
  42. I so needed this today.  OK, here’s mine:

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    all the marshmallows will turn a nice crispy brown.

    (Captcha word “brown")

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  04:14 PM
  43. I’m liking Fosen at 16:  “It couldn’t be REPORTED by the mainstream media that the fireball was all the Democrats’ fault.”

    Stealing Fosen’s captcha, it would be pleasant not to have to read reporting by Geraldo on said fireball.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  04:21 PM
  44. Captcha: press

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    ...the fireball works like a giant french press, which makes a damn good cup of coffee.

    Posted by Chuck  on  10/06  at  04:33 PM
  45. Lame answer, but I thought the whole media=press answer would be too obvious.

    Posted by Chuck  on  10/06  at  04:35 PM
  46. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is that no political side will prevail upon another… Not!

    captcha: side

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  04:36 PM
  47. I won’t ever again have to hear someone pronounce “nuclear” “newkyuler.”

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  04:39 PM
  48. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    ...that I won’t have to hear anyone ever ride me for the time I coupled with that goat. Because, you know, if you build a bridge, they said, ‘Hey, it’s Karl the Bridge-Builder,’ and if you design a better mousetrap, they say, ‘Hey, it’s Karl the Inventor,’ but if you couple with just one goat…

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  05:05 PM
  49. I was hoping to recruit you all to my party. It’s the “Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps” party, founded by Emo Phillips in the early nineties. We don’t do anything other than cultivate ironic distance, weep, and wonder aloud if we’re the crazy ones.  I joined yesterday while I stood out in the cold with about sixty other people protesting the legalization of torture by our representatives.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  05:13 PM
  50. I am SO down with the “not worth it to chew through the leather straps” party.  Can i be treasurer?

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    ... word on the street is it’s coming sooner than we think, so no long waits! The lines are short, too.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  05:46 PM
  51. Oh, and my captcha word was “street”.  Do you know that if you preview your comment, you can no longer submit it because it requires you to enter a captcha word it doesn’t actually show you anymore, nor does it allow you to enter one?  At least, it did that to me.  Oh well.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  05:47 PM
  52. I am SO down with the “not worth it to chew through the leather straps” party.  Can i be treasurer?

    Too enthusiastic.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/06  at  05:52 PM
  53. One of the more pleasant aspects
    of a giant nuclear fireball
    that consumes all life on earth is
    the aspect it exhibits to the moon,
    who never had life, wanted none,
    and felt (oh certainly) intruded on
    that day in 1969,
    and who is more or less diverted
    (maybe even orbitally speaking)
    by her close unlensèd view
    of what may prove to be
    an astronomical anomaly
    more significant and curious
    than any any human ever saw through glass.

    (Why I chose to screw up the first submission attempt due to an incomplete email field I’m sure I don’t know.)

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  05:52 PM
  54. captcha: given

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is just given up.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  06:28 PM
  55. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is...

    the damage to my eyes from viewing the gnf is probably temporary, lasting perhaps 40 minutes. The effects of the attendant blast wave are more unpleasant and less reversible. Damage to “junctions between tissues of different densities (bone and muscle)” sounds painful & permanent. Permanent in this context will seem longer than it really is.

    Posted by black dog barking  on  10/06  at  06:37 PM
  56. And have a great New Nihilist weekend!

    Are you counseling that we should challenge, defeat and irradiate ourselves with Simulacra and Simulation.?

    Baudrillard points to this “destruction of meaning through simulation, hypersimulation, hypertelie,” (p.161) and is quick to decide that he himself is a new nihilist, who, pulled into inertia by image-overdose, can only know the absence of the God behind the images.

    Me, I was planning on just laying back, having a few beers and preserving my mental, emotional and physical energies for the coming cosmigasm. .... neologistically speaking.

    hmmmm… reading post just above, wow, bummer…
    Question: Will the chapter on incommensurability in WLAtLAs help me reconcile my GNF expectations with those of black dog barking my means other than a deathbed conversion to masochism?

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  06:52 PM
  57. Hi everyone,

    Hate to spam, but I am a regular poster here, so just once, since I am very directly and personally involved in this, I’ll do it.  Any signatures, emails, etc, would be much appreciated.  Of course, only if you’re on the right side. wink

    Petition:
    http://www.petitiononline.com/nominute/petition.html

    Statement of Columbia anti-Minutemen protesters who took the stage against Jim Gilchrist on October 4

    October 6, 2006

    In the aftermath of the protest on the night of October 4 against Jim Gilchrist and the racist Minutemen at Roone Arledge auditorium, we want to state clearly: We are proud to send the message to the country that racist and fascist groups are not welcome at Columbia or in New York City.

    As Chicanos and Latinos, alongside African Americans and progressive people of other nationalities, we took it as our responsibility to give voice to the undocumented immigrant families who live in fear at terrorist vigilante groups like the Minutemen. Armed patrols by these groups force more and more people desperate for work to find even more hazardous ways into the United States. Over 3,000 people—including hundreds of children—have died in the desert. Their blood is on the hands of Gilchrist and his thugs.

    Fascist scapegoating is not up for academic discussion. Like Hitler in pre-Nazi Germany, Gilchrist and the Minutemen attempt to demonize foreign-born poor people, blaming “illegals” for society’s problems. His group doesn’t present reasoned debate. It spouts racism and hatred, aiming to divide people against one another.

    Regardless of how Gilchrist tries to sanitize his message for national audiences, more candid moments tell the real story. Gilchrist is a member of the California Coalition for Immigration Reform, which is now notorious for referring to Mexicans as “savages.” Speaking about Mexicans and Central American immigrants, Minuteman co-founder Chris Simcox once said, “They have no problem slitting your throat and taking your money or selling drugs to your kids or raping your daughter and they are evil people.”

    This vile racism translates directly into violence on the ground. “It should be legal to kill illegals,” said one Minutemen volunteer. “Just shoot ‘em on sight. That’s my immigration policy recommendation.” It is no wonder that neo-Nazi organizations like the National Alliance praise the Minuteman Project in their publications, and have members signing up for Minutemen militias.

    We are sure that if the Nazi party held a public meeting on campus, Jewish groups would be there to challenge them—so would we. We are sure that if the Ku Klux Klan held a public meeting on campus, African American groups would be there to challenge them—so would we. The Minutemen are no different.

    We are pleased that an overwhelming number of people answered our call to demonstrate against the racist, fascist Minutemen the night of October 4. The hundreds of people outside Roone Arledge chanting, “Minutemen, Nazis, KKK, racists, fascists, go away!” represented students and community people from all walks of life. Inside the auditorium, perhaps as much as 80 percent of the crowd was repelled by the Minutemen’s message of hate.

    When we walked on stage on the night of October 4, with anti-racist banners for immigrant rights, we were met with violent attack by Gilchrist’s goons. We were the ones who were punched and kicked. We are proud that despite these attacks, we held our ground. When Gilchrist walked off stage, it was because he and his Minutemen outfit were isolated.

    This is not an issue of free speech. The Minutemen were able to reserve a hall at our university and had the protection of campus security and the NYPD—all to espouse their hate speech. We along with hundreds of others expressed our right to speak and protest.

    Over the last 50 years, throughout the Civil Rights movement and the women’s rights movement, ultra-right wing groups have routinely used violence, lynchings, armed assaults and bombings against oppressed people. Yet when we organize to oppose them to express our contempt for their violence, we are criticized for inhibiting the free speech of the ones who perpetrate violence.

    We thank everyone who joined our protest inside and outside of the auditorium.

    Shame on the Columbia University administration for launching an investigation of peaceful protesters, and failing to condemn the perpetrators of violence. Shame on the College Republicans for inviting this fascist thug and provoking such outrage on our campus.

    Posted by Kalkin  on  10/06  at  07:34 PM
  58. ...is that we, the WAAGNFN party, will have held to our name’s promise and delivered on our key platform point: the GNF!  Most perfect political party EVER! And talk about going out with a blast...!

    Posted by Oaktown Girl  on  10/06  at  07:35 PM
  59. RE: Gavin’s link in #9
    The following chant is to begin immediately:

    What do we want?

    FIREBALL!

    When do we want it?

    NOW!

    (True story: I thought the link was going to be to one of Michael’s books!)

    Posted by Oaktown Girl  on  10/06  at  07:52 PM
  60. ... that no one who is on hand to witness it will be alive to gloat afterwards.

    ... the satisfaction that we have been slain by the hand of [name of deity/demon].

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  08:17 PM
  61. To connect my post above to the theme, however lamely:

    ... that it will drive scum like Gilchrist not just off of Columbia, but off of the Earth!

    El pueblo! Unido! Siempre será encendido!

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  08:32 PM
  62. War and occupation! Will never bring liberation!  Only fireballs, can do it, so come on, lets prove it!

    This is hard.  I’m not very good at rhymes.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  08:38 PM
  63. Yay A’s from Oaktown!  OK, we can postpone the giant nuclear fireball until after the World Series.  And maybe we can get up to go to the bathroom.  But let that be the end of the friendly amendments, or we’ll never get anything done around here.  We still have to finish up our demolition of the Almost-Nihilists.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  08:46 PM
  64. Oh, and Kalkin, it’s not as hard as it looks.  Try “the fireball, ignited, will never be defeated.”

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  08:47 PM
  65. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    it will really cut back on the amount of laundry piling up.

    captcha: amount

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  08:50 PM
  66. "One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is that we’ll no longer have to suffer through any more conceptual *art* projects by chain-smoking euro-trash dwebes.”

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  08:52 PM
  67. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    ...that the woman who cut me off at 80 mph while applying mascara has a good chance of poking herself in the eye with that mascara wand before SHE is incinerated.

    It’s the little things that bring me joy.

    Posted by Dr. Free-Ride  on  10/06  at  08:59 PM
  68. ...it still won’t be as bad as high school.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  09:34 PM
  69. OK, we can postpone the giant nuclear fireball until after the World Series.

    There you have it - I already detect signs of revisionism and lesser-evilism. Therefore:

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    ... that it will bring about the total ideological purity only a party with no members to be distracted into scoreboard watching can enjoy.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  09:39 PM
  70. Or is it “lesser-nihilism”?

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  09:46 PM
  71. ... I’ll never have to clean the mass of fur from my shower drain.

    captcha: mass

    Posted by DocMara  on  10/06  at  11:05 PM
  72. [captcha: include]

    ... the resulting carnage would include all the wackos who think they’ll be saved by the rapture. To quote the prophet Tom Lehrer, we will all go together when we go.

    Posted by  on  10/06  at  11:25 PM
  73. never again the <b>hours<b> of tedium of the Yankees in the World Series yet again.

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  01:43 AM
  74. Last friendly amendment:  change the party name to We All Giant Nuclear Fireball Now, not just to appeal to all the Captain Caveman fans out there, but also to reach the same audience as Chris Clarke’s graphic novel.

    ...no one is left thinking the WAAGNFN [or WAGNFN] is just another big (’giant’wink government (’nuclear’wink commie (’we’wink pinko (’all’wink scum fifth column conspiracy (’now’wink to undermine Christian America anymore.

    Posted by The Constructivist  on  10/07  at  07:24 AM
  75. Oh, yeah, and in honor of the ‘Floating Head Professor’ and ‘Foucault’s Lidless Eyes’ floating lidlessly around this week:

    ...Michael need no longer deal with the pain of being called a philistine by a Hahvahd undergrad for his party’s platform’s abject failure to allude to Mr. American Scholar Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Transparent Eyeball…

    ...or being called a loser, baby, by norbizness for failing to reference Powerman 5000’s “An Eye Is Upon You” (or, for that matter, any of the songs on Tonight the Stars Revolt, all of which go quite well with Giant Nuclear Fireballs, as opposed to Tool’s ”Aenema”--too earthquakey).

    Posted by The Constructivist  on  10/07  at  08:18 AM
  76. Sounds like someone is spamming all blogs that reference ‘apocalypse’ or ‘armageddon.’ Sweet!  Another reason to join the WAGNFN Party!

    Posted by The Constructivist  on  10/07  at  09:05 AM
  77. P.S. Captcha was subjugation. Forgot to bold it!

    Current captcha: truth!

    Posted by † on  10/07  at  09:12 AM
  78. change the party name to We All Giant Nuclear Fireball Now, not just to appeal to all the Captain Caveman fans out there, but also to reach the same audience as Chris Clarke’s graphic novel.

    Do not taunt Giant Nuclear Fireball.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/07  at  09:28 AM
  79. captcha: friend

    ...we don’t have to worry if we don’t have a friend.

    But I’d rather use:

    ...it’s so bright, that it’s ALL silver lining.

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  10:56 AM
  80. Sorry to ruin everyone’s references to the deleted Christianist/ Turner Diaries spam, but I ain’t a-toleratin’ any of that kind of thing on this righteous blog.

    Grumpy Physicist, meet Grouchy Medievalist!  We can all be friends now that we’re going to be fused into one smoking, radioactive heap.

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  11:17 AM
  81. Being a member of the Party means never having to say you’re sorry.To anyone, even incompetent HOTEL staff.

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  01:41 PM
  82. Grumpy Physicist, meet Grouchy Medievalist!

    We need one more disgruntled “G” adjective to add to this list. It just seems more natural for these things to come in sets of 3’s.

    We can all be friends now that we’re going to be fused into one smoking, radioactive heap.

    Gross.

    Oaktown Girl’s really gross (so please don’t answer this, I’m only kidding) ABF Friday Halloween edition idea: If you are unfortunate enough to survive the WAAGNFN Party’s GNF and end up alive but in a smoking, radioactive heap, to whom would you most/least like to be fused?  Whom would you most/least like to see fused together?

    Posted by Oaktown Girl  on  10/07  at  01:47 PM
  83. I wasn’t going to post, but the captcha word is “blood” and i can’t let that one go. 
    “… ...” contrary to popular opinion the GNF will leave no trace of blood in its vaporizing path, where its path has gone there will be nothing, only radioactive concrete will remain.

    the Grateful Humanist (third G nominee) suggests that the end of the world as we know it, requires the WAAGNFN to Celebrate, Celebrate, Dance to the Oblivion because in the end there is one dance you will have to do alone.

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  04:03 PM
  84. Captcha word: moved

    I am moved by your mediations on my all-seeing presence, and ask you to join me in historicizing the history of mascara. (I wear it on my lidless eye, as I still do have eyelashes despite the lack of lid).

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  04:04 PM
  85. OG, you’d think the prospect of being fused into one smoking, radioactive heap (dead or alive) alone would deter folks from developing nuclear weapons, much less using them (just the possibility of fusing their narcissistic minor differences in said heap should be deterrent enough), but as Michael pointed out this week, it does take all kinds to make a world.  Growing up within the blast radius of Griffiss Air Force Base forces a certain, shall we say, serenity upon ye.  It would be a shame to see Fukuoka go, though (though more of a shame to not not see it). 

    So, to introduce a half-serious set of questions (the only proper response to the current situation) to this sadly unserious thread:  following Mr. Wealth of Nations himself, the late great Adam Smith, who, in the course of criticizing England’s imperialist system (for its mercantilism, of course) pointed out that the Europeans’ “superiority of force” since 1492/1498 enabled them to “commit with impunity every sort of injustice in those remote countries” they had colonized and looked forward to a day when “the inhabitants of all the different quarters of the world may arrive at that equality of courage and force which, by inspiring mutual fear, can alone overawe the injustice of independent nations into some sort of respect for the rights of one another,"* I ask:

    1.  OK, so was Adam Smith responsible for MAD?
    2.  Really, isn’t he basically saying a balance of terror is the only way toward anything approaching world peace?
    3.  Does the PATRIOT Act allow me to check world-wide library records to see if the Iranian and North Korean regimes have been checking out TWoN much more often since the US invaded Iraq?
    4.  Would Smith have been against boycotts and embargoes as political tactics in the case of nuclear weapons?  Would he have been for a free market in nuclear weapons?  And if so, what would his American heirs say?
    5.  Now if Smith is right that free trade (which in his view leads inevitably to the “mutual communication of knowledge and of all sorts of improvements") is the best way to “establish this equality of force,” and if the current administration, although highly unlikely to make Jonathan Schell its Non-Proliferation Czar but slightly less unlikely to try a market solution for threats its military strategy has magnified, should WAGNFN then be backing Clintonian neoliberals over Cheney’s court neoconservatives, on the theory they’d be so grateful to return to writing about why globalization is so great for the world’s poor and stop bashing Bush (I’m talking to you, Krugman!) that they’d actually lead the US to practicing what it preached?  Or would practicing an even-handed (rather than US-corporate-lead) neoliberalism just drive US elites back toward the neoconservatives?  How do we get off this see-saw?  Hmm, it’s questions like these that lead me to see the great wisdom of the New Nihilism.
    6.  Should the WAGNFN Party petition for John Bolton to go to the U.N. and simply ask any countries with, developing, or planning to develop nuclear weapons to pledge to use them on the U.S. first (thereby assuring they’d never be used, as who really wants to see [or not not see] what the U.S. would become and do in the wake of such an attack?)?  It’s a win-win:  either we help put the Giant in We All Giant Nuclear Fireball Now or we stop the proliferation of nuclear weapons for once and for all.

    Sadly, the WAGNFN Party has woefully undertheorized the “Giant” part of the party platform.  In the best traditions of literary studies and English department politics, then, I must resign from the Party,** unless we start the petition drive in #6 at the next MLA Delegate Assembly.  Anything less dooms the WAGNFN Party to a 2-second appearance on a future episode of Futurama.

    *the AS quotes are real--check out Myra Jehlen and Michael Warner’s anthology, The English Literatures of America, 1500-1800, p. 857, or just pull out your own no-doubt-heavily-annotated copy of TWoN and find the “Meanwhile the Old World Has Been Transformed by the Emergence of the New” section. 

    **And please give to your local branch of the We Are All All About the Great Books Now Party!  For truly, only they can save us in this time of crisis.  Unless you prefer the Christian Identity thing, in which case, that’s your choice, dude.  But do read the Habermas-Lyotard chapter of Michael’s book first.

    Posted by The Constructivist  on  10/07  at  04:55 PM
  86. Sadly, the WAGNFN Party has woefully undertheorized the “Giant” part of the party platform.

    I’m with comrade Constructivist here. Until there are effective guarantees of near-instantaneous and complete vaporization, I’m going to have to continue subscribing to Seeds: The Journal of the There Might Still Be a Sliver of Hope Party.

    For a couple of months more, anyway. World Series (how ‘bout those Tigers?) and ... the next month. Just to see how it turns out.

    Posted by Nell  on  10/07  at  07:54 PM
  87. Hey Paul Hill,

    How did these anti-abortionist ass clowns get into my refrigerator?

    Captcha: anyone

    Sentence: Does anyone know?

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  08:30 PM
  88. Michael;

    I made a judgment call. I’m not sure it was the right one. Seeing as your new spam troll had a post up for about an hour and then posted another one, and based on your expressed desire to not tolerate that sort of thing in #80 above, and bearing in mind that it is distinctly annoying to have people mess around in your blog’s back end, and then bearing in my other mind how annoyed I get when hate trolls manage to get stuff on my blog while my back is turned, and figuring that you were probably having a nice Saturday night relaxing en famille, and recalling that I still had the keys to the pipeworks:

    I deleted a couple troll messages from that same guy without checking with you first.

    And then was beset by second thoughts about my peremptory and unauthorized action.

    This serves as my public confession and apology. I offer myself for a showtrial at your convenience.

    Incidentally I did save the IP number, the same in both instances.

    captcha: “great,” as in “Oh, great. My former blogsitters are messing around in the skunkworks.”

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/07  at  09:02 PM
  89. If we’re voting, I vote in favor of peremptory and unauthorized Biggest Billy Goat Gruff action.

    captcha: “today,” as in “Late today, I saw a habited nun on a bicycle ride beneath a brilliant full(ish) moon.”

    Posted by Orange  on  10/07  at  09:13 PM
  90. Does being fused in a post-annihilation radioactive slag make one “hot?”

    I bow to the spambot killing graphic novelist and vote for his reprieve from unrestrained JUSTICE for his choice to act against the dreaded nuclear spam creators.  A good goat will do that you know.

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  10:55 PM
  91. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is

    captcha: what

    all this this here -
    folly for to see what -
    glimpse -
    seem to glimpse -
    need to seem to glimpse -
    afaint afar away over there what -
    folly for to need to seem to glimpse afaint afar away over there what -
    what -
    what is the word -

    what is the word

    --last Beckett

    Posted by  on  10/07  at  11:58 PM
  92. Thank you so much for clearing the skunk out of the skunkworks, Chris.  It was very gracious of you.

    And yes, I have been enjoying the so-called “real world” today for a change.  Air, trees, grass—gotta drink our fill of ‘em now, you know.

    Posted by Michael  on  10/08  at  01:21 AM
  93. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is...

    I can go out with that special feeling of knowing my A’s have gotten over the one-and-done first round hump slump.  Also, that Jason Giambi will go out NOT having won a ring by joining the the Yankees. Sweet.

    Oh...and and AND my California Golden Bears beat a ranked team tonight on national TV.(Cal = long history of major choke jobs under the bright lights of national TV during the regular season). Damn - I’m pretty much ready for the GNF right now!

    (And the ‘round the clock skunk removal service is pretty special too!)

    Posted by Oaktown Girl  on  10/08  at  03:25 AM
  94. Was just cruisin’ thru, with no intention of piling on, but checked the captcha word out of curiousity, and it is “staff.” Which instantly, owing to a mispent youth, made me think, “Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.” Which, for me personally, would in fact not be one of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth. But there are those for whom it would be, which causes me to wonder, what the hell is so comforting about a rod and a staff? I mean, perhaps I fail to grasp the nature of the rod and/or staff, symbolically or otherwise - I’m sort of associating them with shepherds in the religious context, but they do not strike me as instruments of comfort. Is this a Republican psalm, where comfort is to be taken in the stern, authoritarian Father, watching over all, rod in one hand, staff in the other? Never having had a lit course, religious studies course, or ancient history course, I have no context at all for the remains of bible verses floating around in my head, but this blog is generally crawling with extremely literate folk, so if any of you crawls through at this late date, could you explain this? And I apologize for starting so many sentences with, um . . . I’m gonna say they’re prepositions.

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  06:34 AM
  95. Oh, geez. Maybe Nephi answered my question. But not to despair . . . capcha word now “love.” As in, “I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart . . .” Guess he just never did find the right girl.

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  06:46 AM
  96. It’s true! That Brigham Young would put his javelin in just about anything. Including, as he was known to say, his wife and her lover, was he so lucky as to walk in on them during the act. Naughty little bugger.

    I would like to start a motion to rebrand New Nihilism as Das Neo-Nihilism - though it is meaningless.

    Posted by Central Content Publisher needs no embellishment  on  10/08  at  10:17 AM
  97. Who’s Brigham Young? Any relation to O.J. Simpson?

    captcha: town

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is

    that the town’s volunteer firefighting unit (made up of Aryan Nations skinheads) will finally have something productive to do.

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  10:48 AM
  98. what the hell is so comforting about a rod and a staff?

    Is this where I put the David Horowitz joke?

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/08  at  11:21 AM
  99. Maud, I am comforted by those words and have always drawn a smidgen of peace from their sound. Never thought about the actual things, rod & staff, which, now that you mention it, are a somewhat eccentric choice for comfort items.

    My comfort is sourced in the setting where I first remember the words. To a child, Sunday AM in church basement school, lambs and flock were a completely natural fit with both my perceptions and my situation. Those shepard’s tools protected that flock on that Sunday, a naive image but one I believe to be true.

    An adult knows that flock is eventually destined for wool-harvest or mutton-harvest, staff and rod not withstanding. This is indeed a Republican Psalm—take comfort my child and hope for a thick coat (and very little meat on those bones), stay close, no talking in line.

    Who’s up for a three-fingers belt of GNF?

    Posted by black dog barking  on  10/08  at  11:23 AM
  100. captcha: private

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is that...

    ...our once most private thoughts will be stirred and mingled, publicly, with the private thoughts of others.

    Wait, would that be pleasant, or just creepy?

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  11:37 AM
  101. Well - rods, staffs, and wands are symbols representing the application or directing of power. Everything from political power, to the wielding of magical spells ala Dungeons and Dragons. The comfort is supposed to be the sort of comfort one gets from being protected by the one wielding the staff.

    Where this gets wierd (if it wasn’t already), is when the rod is applied against you to protect you from yourself. This is the case with blood atonement (and the Mormon obsession with javelins - a peircing sort of staff), where folks are relieved of their lives to save them from their own sins. The sinful, of course, are very thankful for this. One could say… comforted.

    In the hands of the righteous, the staff not only protects the flock, but saves the vanquished from their own sins.

    ..add terrorism and stir until frothy.

    Posted by Central Content Publisher needs no embellishment  on  10/08  at  01:29 PM
  102. Oh, so Brigham Young IS related to O.J.!

    Captcha: shall

    Sentence: One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is

    that God shall smite all the dumbfucks named Nephi who hates fags (but secretly want to try a little carrot action from the rear end).

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  01:31 PM
  103. captcha:  true

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is...

    ...everyone will finally know what I’ve been saying is true, especially the part about universal understanding being gleaned once out of the body if it has not been ascertained while incarnate.

    PS, my first comment didn’t go through but I’m keeping the same captcha because I can and, gosh darn it, people like me.

    Posted by the psycho therapist  on  10/08  at  01:36 PM
  104. I offer myself for a showtrial at your convenience.

    Michael, just because most of us happen to be satisfied with Mr. Clark’s efficient skunk removal service, that doesn’t mean we should simply ignore his most generous offer to be a sacrificial lamb for a show trial. 

    A nice long showtrial could be just what is needed to boost the profile of our fledgling WAAGNFN Party. We need to prove we are perfectly capable of:

    1. Bringing a “dangerous criminal” to justice through charges based on intelligence that is faulty, non-existant, deliberately misleading and cheery-picked, or just some shit we made up,

    2. having “secret” evidence (by making more shit up or pretending we have some shit we made up),

    3. rendering folks. (Let’s not render him too far, and let’s also skip the torture on this one. We still may need him around for skunk removal).

    Mr. Clark, your sacrifice on behalf of the WAAGNFN Party will be long remembered.

    Posted by Oaktown Girl  on  10/08  at  01:49 PM
  105. Foucault: Come on. O.J. wasn’t that bad. Let’s not get out of hand here.

    ... that it focuses on results over process.

    Posted by Central Content Publisher  on  10/08  at  01:58 PM
  106. Yeah, you’re right: at least O.J. was sane.

    Captcha: club

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    that it’ll save baby seals in Canada who might otherwise get a club to the head.

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  02:29 PM
  107. My weekend contribution to the WAAGNFN party was to do my part to incrementally increase the chance of a resource war by driving back and forth across the length of Pennsylvania on an errand of dubious value. However, I did have a chance to appreciate the start of fall color season with the hills radiating a stunning blaze of red and yellow like, ... like (I have no visual imagination) something massive...I know! A giant McDonald’s sign.

    But moreso, It gave me ample to time to contemplate the politically correct attitude towards the GNF - and it struck me that a key doctrinal question is: Should there be prior knowledge of when the GNF going to strike? In the first thread CCP laid out a nuanced, John Kerryesque position:

    I think it’s key for members of the Nihilist Party to not literally see the fireball approaching, but to be caught by surprise in spite of knowing all along that it was coming.

    While I argued forcefully and courageously for prior warning by means of public broadcast of White Rabbit (which if nothing else, would make the haunting first few bars of the bass line the most closely listened to bit of music in history. The rest of the song, I’m thinking, - not so much.)

    So folks - time to decide Which Side are You On? Gallic surprise or manly foreknowledge? Decide quickly as I hear the Titanic sails at dawn. (And which side is Chris Clarke on? - I’m sure it is the wrong one. He should be seized immediately before he can claim otherwise. You’re out that way Oaktown Girl - see to it please.)

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  02:34 PM
  108. And which side is Chris Clarke on? - I’m sure it is the wrong one. He should be seized immediately before he can claim otherwise.

    This is a blatant attempt by the hardline “fireball in one country” fraction of the WAAGNFN Party to suppress the progressive opposition!  The Global Nuclear Fireball will not merely be a national fireball but must take place simultaneously in all civilized countries. The Global Nuclear Fireball will have a powerful impact on the other countries of the world, and will radically alter the course of development which they have followed up to now, while greatly stepping up its pace. It is a universal Global Nuclear Fireball and will, accordingly, have a universal range!

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/08  at  02:57 PM
  109. Though I agree that the Global Nuclear Fireball must strike all nations simultaneously, I refuse to acknowledge the understanding that it actually will happen. Were I to accept its inevitability before its actual arrival, I would rob the event of its radical power. The WAAGNFN is not mandated to validate the predictive powers of the status quo, but to radically reverse those powers. At that point, and only at that point will we all be global nuclear fireball now!

    Posted by Central Content Publisher  on  10/08  at  03:25 PM
  110. Central Content Publisher — if that is your real name — such subjectivist hogwash contradicts the precepts of Bohr-Hegel’s Theory of Dielectrics. My comrades in the International Confederacy to Endorse Atomic eXplosions Everywhere can help you chop away at those mental inefficiencies. Our public meeting schedule is posted on our website.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/08  at  03:51 PM
  111. In order to answer this question about the imminence of the global nuclear fire ball, some methodological considerations need to be brought in; more specifically, it is best to reflect on the object one has in view when one undertakes to study the forms and transformations of a “fireball.”

    Everyone is aware of the word’s ambiguity. By “fireball,” one means a set of values and rules of action that are recommended to individuals through the intermediary of various prescriptive agencies such as the family, educational institutions, churches, and so forth.

    It is sometimes the case that these rules and values are plainly set forth in a coherent doctrine and an explicit teaching (as in the recent case of Brigham Young and his crazy apprentice, Dephi).

    But it also happens that they are transmitted in a diffuse manner, so that, far from constituting a systematic ensemble, they form a complex interplay of elements that counterbalance and correct one another, and cancel each other out on certain points, thus providing for compromises and loopholes.

    With these qualifications taken into *******, we can call this prescriptive ensemble the “fireball code.” Will it happen, can it happen, when will it happen, and how can our moral behavior prevent it from happening?  How can our care for ourselves and for other prevent the inevitable fireball from coming our way?

    I will tell you in my new book, THE HISTORY OF THE FIREBALL, Volume I. 

    Catcha: per (one book per person)

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  04:04 PM
  112. Bohr-Hegel’s Theory of Dielectrics says nothing concerning production! The Global Nuclear Fireball exists at the equalibrium of our conscious struggle. By attempting to regulate the flow of aggregate consciousness, we can only disturb the natural gravitation toward our conscious elualibrium. For this reason we must observe a strict policy of open-consciousness. If allowed to operate unhindered, consciousness, to our great surprise, will create the neccissary conductive materials at the neccissary time for the Global Nuclear Fireball to manifest - seemingly, as if by magic.

    Once consciously pursued, the Global Nuclear Fireball can never arrive!

    Posted by Central Content Publisher  on  10/08  at  05:51 PM
  113. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is . . .

    . . . I need no longer be embarrassed by certain perfectly normal, but socially inconvenient, biological functions.

    In closing, I would like to quote from the great and underappreciated Jack “Conjunction Junction” Sheldon:

    The atomic bomb may find you,
    And burn you to crisp.
    But that won’t change the way I feel about you;
    I guess I’m fascinated by your lisp.

    --Jack Sheldon, “The Atomic Bomb,” 1965

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  05:53 PM
  114. After the Fireball, we will all have Equal Librium.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/08  at  06:26 PM
  115. "After the Fireball, we will all have Equal Librium,” said the psycho therapist in agreement with Sir Clark, “but the pharmaceutical companies might not be so invested down on the farm.

    Posted by the psycho therapist  on  10/08  at  07:24 PM
  116. Everyone in the WAAGNFN Party who is interested in splitting with ICE - AXE at this time may do so.  You should wait until the end of the third period, and then proceed in an orderly fashion to our offices in Mexico City, where our agents will be waiting to greet you.  If you cannot find Mexico City, be sure to consult a map of the world.  We find that the Mercader Projection works best.

    Do not worry that splitters will threaten the integrity of our Party.  The WAAGNFN Party remains strong and resolute regardless of whether any one of us acknowledges that the GNF will actually happen.

    Posted by Michael  on  10/08  at  08:01 PM
  117. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is . . .

    ...I will have a much better chance at landing George Clooney.

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  08:13 PM
  118. Once consciously pursued, the Global Nuclear Fireball can never arrive!

    Quite so, CCP, but have you considered the alternatives aren’t much more promising? We might, for example, consciously await the GNF, but according to the Beckett Principle, conscious pursuing and conscious awaiting would have the same result. Clearly, then, the problem is consciousness itself, which I believe you suggest somwhere in #112. Your open-consciousness theory, however, leaves consciousness in play to the detriment of the party. The GNF will manifest if and only if we await (not pursue) unconsciously. In other words, it will be possible for the GNF to arrive only after it has arrived.

    Nevertheless, we must be vigilant in our unconscious awaiting so as to distinguish ourselves from the Not Worth It To Get Out Of Bed Party, who are obviously barking mad.

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  09:37 PM
  119. All of you in the unwashed masses — OK, CCP and Pat, pretty much — who persist in conflating the quantum realm of the atomic nucleus with the QANTAS realm of the nuclear fireball, Alan Sokal would like to have a word with you.

    Off topic: Michael, it’s time to let the cat out of the box. You wrote this comment here marked “10.08.06 - 7:03 pm,” didn’t you?

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  10/08  at  10:18 PM
  120. Oh, no. Not me. I’m in no hurry for that final disappointment.
    For I know just as well as I’m standing here talking to you,
    when that final moment comes and I’m breathing my last breath, I’ll be saying to myself,
    Is that all there is to a Giant Nuclear Fireball?

    Is that all there is, is that all there is
    If that’s all there is my friends, I’d rather keep dancing
    Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
    If that’s all there is

    captcha: rather

    Posted by Peggy Lee  on  10/08  at  10:19 PM
  121. Before the GNF or the ultimate gianormous solar flameout (red giant expands to encompass the planet) i want to sell off my collection of captcha words.  Only those who have real commodities can bid; one can’t live on diamonds and gold, only salmon filets (yes on burnished cedar planks) and sautéd Maui onions w/ mushrooms.  For example, the one below is “society” and that is worth plenty to anyone who is discoursing on party politics.  This is purely a barter gifting economic deal (isn’t that one of the founding principles of the WAAGNFN Party?), i shall not generate any profit whatsoever.

    Posted by  on  10/08  at  10:41 PM
  122. Michael, it’s time to let the cat out of the box. You wrote this comment here marked “10.08.06 - 7:03 pm,” didn’t you?

    I so wish—but I was having dinner at the time.  I have decided that in all my future metasockpuppet jokes, I will leave my real url.  Otherwise I’ll have people taking credit for all my hard work.

    Posted by Michael  on  10/08  at  11:00 PM
  123. Stand in the corner,” his brother told young Leo Tolstoy, “until you stop thinking of a white GNF rabbit bear.” It seems a simple enough command, but Tolstoy was unable to do it.

    The GNF will manifest if and only if we await (not pursue) unconsciously.

    Geez, easy for you to say, Pat. Tolstoy couldn’t do it and he sold lots of books. And this Daniel Wegner guy who wrote about it probably can’t do it and he’s at Harvard!!! So where does that leave us?

    I’ve had enough of this theoretical crap anyways. let’s just put some bleachers out in the sun, and wait for it here on Highway 61.

    Posted by  on  10/09  at  12:17 AM
  124. I had hoped there was room in the We Are All A Giant Nuclear Fireball Now Party for a We Are All A Giant Nuclear Fireball Yesterday order, but if that would be “transgressing the boundaries,” then I defer to the Clarke-Sokal line. 

    We really ought to settle our theoretical differences soon, since apparently North Korea wasn’t kidding.

    JP: when the GNF comes, Harvard, I’m told, will be the first thing to go.

    captcha: lost

    Posted by  on  10/09  at  02:12 AM
  125. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    the Leafs won’t suck anymore!  Of course they won’t anything anymore either, but that’s just being unnecessarily know-it-all-ish.

    Posted by  on  10/09  at  02:15 AM
  126. Splitters!

    Posted by Central Content Publisher  on  10/09  at  05:58 AM
  127. Clearly this long thread of comments demonstrates that the purity of the GNF line must forever be defended against the inherent bourgeoise meliorists of Always Already Big Bang Apologists. Tragically, in this struggle, some may succumb to suasions of ABBA, but, one good thing about a giant nuclear fireball, etc.

    Posted by  on  10/09  at  09:12 AM
  128. Truly, Kim Jong Il is no Amasa Delano:  when presented with the WAAGNFN Party’s theorizations of the G/N aporia, he knows how to cut straight through such Gordian Knots.  We must nominate him for Human of the Year and invite him to preside over and emcee Chris Clarke’s show trial.  Oh, dammit, I already quit the party.

    Posted by The Constructivist  on  10/09  at  12:23 PM
  129. While I was scrolling through the comments looking to see whose initial were “OK” (from Chris’ comment #119), I realized I had been incorrectly spelling Mr. Clarke’s last name by leaving out the final “e”. Oops. Two points:

    1. My sincere apologies to Mr. Clarke. I must have been sublimiably repressing the final “e” in your name because silent “e’s” can be rather Frenchy, and we all know everyone is supposed to hate the French these days.  (Damn Frogs - think they’re so smart for keeping their soldiers out of our Iraq quagmire and desperately warning us not to send ours! No wonder we hate them so!)

    2. The misspelling cannot and will not be used as a loophole to extricate you from your inevitable and impending show trial. (Mostly because I’m already making Big Ass Cash Money selling courtroom seats).

    Posted by Oaktown Girl  on  10/09  at  12:58 PM
  130. captcha: gives

    Beckett gives this answer, too:

    “It’s my dream. A world where all would be silent and still, and each thing in its last place, under the last dust.”
    —Clov, in Endgame.

    Posted by  on  10/09  at  07:55 PM
  131. captcha:  programs

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    . . . I will no longer feel pressure to “get with the programs,” which directive I never have understood anyway.

    Posted by john  on  10/09  at  10:46 PM
  132. Speaking of Nuclear Fireballs, has anyone finished Cormac McCarthy’s new novel, The Road?  Father and Son walk though a post-nuclear (or post world-destroying asteroid?) landscape, forraging for food and supplies, avoiding the rape gangs and cannibals.

    McCarthy for President!

    Posted by  on  10/10  at  06:50 AM
  133. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth iS…

    ...that at long last, a political party’s goals, ideal, and policies all worked in gloriously effective harmony.

    Posted by Dr. Virago  on  10/10  at  11:02 AM
  134. Captcha: minutes

    One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is . . .

    I need no longer worry that I will exceed my cell phone plan’s allotment of a mere 200 daytime minutes per month.

    Posted by Anthony Cartouche  on  10/10  at  12:13 PM
  135. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    that “All are punished,” or, rather, “We’re all Grieferazzis now!”

    Posted by  on  10/12  at  04:16 AM
  136. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    love of thy neighbour is of little concern.

    Bah, that was a poor effort.

    Posted by Naadir Jeewa  on  12/04  at  05:54 PM
  137. One of the more pleasant aspects of a giant nuclear fireball that consumes all life on earth is…

    that it won’t matter that I’m wearing dirty underwear.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  10:45 PM

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