Debate: tactics and strategery
So you’ve come to this humble blog to see if I’m going to
caric, cariqa, caricatoo, mock Sarah Palin for talking about our Afghanistan military-commander guy General McClellan. You’re thinking, “hey, Michael, didn’t you say that Palin was like an unprepared student faking a term paper in real time? And don’t those faking-it students like to throw out a mess of extraneous horseshit, especiallystuff like proper names, in order to overcompensate for the fact that they don’t know WTF they’re talking about? And didn’t Palin do a name-check on David D. McKiernan General McClellan completely unprompted, just the way bullshitting students do when they try to cover themselves by saying things like ‘as Frederick Nietzsche pointed out in his Genealogy of Morays’ when you’ve asked them a question about international fishing rights?”
Well, my friends, I hate to disappoint you, but the facts are simple. General McClellain is a great American hero who knows how to win a war, and Barack Hussein al-Obama was wrong to oppose the wonder-working Peninsula Surge Campaign. And the American people want an end to the divisive partisan politics of Hussein al-Obama of the Democrat party. As Governor Palin pointed out tonight, we’ve lived through divisive partisan politics in both the Bush and Clinton eras, and if we’re going to look forward, Americans need to agree that the Democrat party is to blame for divisive partisanship, and Republicans offer a fresh new future of change and reform instead of a finger-pointing obsession with the past.
More importantly, there isn’t a single Sarah Palin fan from Key West to Little Diomede who gives a flying frog whether the governor got McClanahan’s name right. The important thing is that she opposes taxes that will hurt the umbrella of job creation while standing tall and fighting for a diverse family that rejects the white flag of surrenderdom. Which is to say, she rallied the base, while Biden rallied liberal elitists who continue to believe that being reasonably informed about shit should be some kind of prerequisite for the presidency. All else being equal, I’d have to call it a draw.
A draw? A draw? You’re overlooking the fact that Lieberman and Giuliani and Romney have all come together across incredibly diverse backgrounds to support the quintessential maverick, quintessentially mavericking all those other sucker-quintessential pseudo-mavericks who try to bring that weak shit to the hole. Puhleeze.Posted by Moloch on 10/03 at 01:28 AM
Gosh darn it, Bérubé! General McClanahangler is steamed right now about this… STEAMED. Prolly he is wandering lonely as a cloud in a field of Afghan poppies at this very moment, searching for his lost dignity. Think upon his ennui, sir. Dwell upon its depth.
This is EXACTLY what happened when Ronald Reagan praised Colonel Spanders for whipping up a fine bucket o’ chicken. He sold KFC to PepsiCo the very next day, and hanged himself with his own string-tie!Posted by on 10/03 at 02:19 AM
>> I hate to disappoint you, but the facts are simple.
Yes they are. Go to Drudge (if your liberal browser lets you) and you will see that Sarah won 69:29.Posted by wolfgang on 10/03 at 02:19 AM
When Para Sailin’ said Barack Obama was intent on bombing children in Afghan villages, she convinced me to vote for her.Posted by on 10/03 at 02:30 AM
laugh, weep, laugh, weepPosted by CityzenJane on 10/03 at 03:06 AM
CNN instant polls had Biden 51 %, Palin 36 %. So that’s a draw! She cleared the bar out of the ballpark! She surpassed the blame game beyond our wildest expectations! All under the umbrella of job creation.Posted by Martin G. on 10/03 at 03:18 AM
mmmm… my thinking on this is that, although the Gibson and Couric interviews might have lowered expectations, they also raised the bar considerably for how well she had to do tonight, and she didn’t make it. McCain’s most important constituency, the one he needed to turn this around, was the press corps. He needed Palin to convince Chris Matthews that those debacles were just a temporary case of exhaustion or something (I think the argument that she was a sharp, informed woman whose only problem was an inadequate amount of time to work her way through a 600 page briefing book went out the window with “all of them").
If Matthews and the rest could have been brought back on board, then there was an outside chance they could have helped to convince the independents that everything was ok. But her performance wasn’t calculated to woo them. Gosh no! darn it, it was calculated to woo Michele Malkin. Dumb, really, because Malkin already loved her and didn’t have any option but to go on loving her. Shucks, ya know, it was the equivalent of a Dem candidate doing the usual stumbling in the polls and trying to remedy his falling numbers by giving a ninety minute lecture on the Mandevillian basis of free market theory.Posted by on 10/03 at 03:41 AM
What’s it been, about five or six hours? Likely as not it’ll rain before morning, and by then such talk of a “draw” will be washed away by urgent wet surges of McClaynton fatigue, like chalk hopscotch grids fading from a small-town sidewalk.
--Or something. Geez, could this election possibly get more surreal? And who is this Bérubé noob, anyway?Posted by on 10/03 at 03:47 AM
Let me get back to the Brewers. They are toast. They used it all up in just getting to the playoffs. Phillies in 3. And I may not answer the posts that either the commenters or you want to hear, but I’m going to talk straight to the American people and spew whatever
bullshittalking points that come to mind. Or is that too doggone mavericky for you?Posted by on 10/03 at 05:58 AM
Wolfgang @ 3: Go to Drudge (if your liberal browser lets you) and you will see that Sarah won 69:29.
Hussein al-Obama is pulling 29 percent at Dredge? What is the world coming to?
jenniebee @ 7: great stuff, and I agree completely, but you forgot to say “heck.”
Romy B. @ 8: washed away by urgent wet surges of McClaynton fatigue, like chalk hopscotch grids fading from a small-town sidewalk
This made me cry. It’s like Rutger Hauer at the end of Blade Runner, except even more beautiful.
JP @ 9: True about the Brewcrew. Alas, Nick’s beloved Cubs are now Chicago-style toast, and probably won’t win a World Series before 2108, when American troops start coming home from Iraq.
thepuppethead, va, Martin G.: I laughed out loud. And then I rolled on the floor laughing my ass off. If only there were an Internets shorthand for that.Posted by Michael on 10/03 at 07:57 AM
>> She cleared the bar out of the ballpark!
Absolutely, as one well-known mainstream blogger wrote: “Her performance also underscored the underhandedness of the hatchet job editors at ABC News and CBS News, which failed to capture her solid competence on the whole array of foreign and domestic policy issues on the debate table tonight.”Posted by wolfgang on 10/03 at 08:00 AM
I am ashamed to be a Democrat now, after Joe Biden flagrantly misnonrepresented Rue McClanahan’s opinions on the ground in the villages of complicated Afghanistan where it depends on what the meaning of “surge” is.
Plus, as has been pointed out in various freedom-lovin’ Murrican websites, Joe Biden totally made up a word that does not exist and certainly doesn’t have a sizeable Wikipedia article devoted to it.Posted by Orange on 10/03 at 08:39 AM
#4 va: That’s funny. That totally convinced me to vote for Obama. Does that make me a bad person?Posted by Martin G. on 10/03 at 09:13 AM
I totally love the fact that the wingnuts are going after “Bosniak.” I mean, we’re talking about people who don’t have the faintest idea where Afghania-Hertzevaleriegolinia is in the first place, and don’t care.Posted by Michael on 10/03 at 09:23 AM
I totally love the fact that the wingnuts are going after “Bosniak.”
With an able assist from I’m-actually-a-wingnut-but-I-don’t-realize-it-because-I-am-on-NPR Cokie Roberts. And in fact he might have been right, but it was clearly the moral equivalent of vacationing in Hawaii.
(And you made go read NRO. I learned a lot. It turns out Joe Biden was outclassed and outmatched. Like totally. Who knew?)Posted by on 10/03 at 09:55 AM
Its pathetic that just because she didn’t pee herself onstage that she somehow did OK. She is a such a puppet, not only not answering questions, but spouting generalities so that she can’t be held accountable for what she said. It is amazing that she managed to distance herself from King George by acting just like him. I don’t get this idea that America is just a bunch o gosh darn simple folks, and that’s who should be leading us. I thought we were supposed to be exceptional and so should our leaders. When it all boils down to it, both Old Skin Tumors McPresident and ‘Strange Fruit’ Barrack O’President are likely to bite the dust for different reasons, and I’d feel way safer with Joe Six Pack Biden than Mrs. Pales in Comparison.Posted by on 10/03 at 10:24 AM
Okay, first of all, it’s Nietsche’s Genealogy of Morels. Second of all, I’m hungry. And point number C, they are a team of mavericks. They have Mel Gibson, James Garner, and the original maverick, c. 1881, John Sidney McCain.
captcha: fall, as in Decline andPosted by on 10/03 at 12:09 PM
It’s time to hold people accountable without looking backwards.Posted by on 10/03 at 12:26 PM
urgent wet surges of ... Rutger Hauer ...
Chicka-Wow Chicka-Wow Wow!Posted by on 10/03 at 12:53 PM
They have Mel Gibson, James Garner, and the original maverick, c. 1881, John Sidney McCain.
Hey! Don’t forget about this guy!Posted by Michael on 10/03 at 01:24 PM
Genealogy of Morays’
I think you mean Beyond Cod and Eel.Posted by andrew on 10/03 at 02:10 PM
She cleared the bar out of the ballpark!
I’m partial to The Perch Of Tragedy, myself.Posted by Chris Clarke on 10/03 at 03:03 PM
You mentioned frogs, and I’m glad you did!Posted by on 10/03 at 03:15 PM
Re “surge,” I hear the preferred phrase is “little starburst.”Posted by on 10/03 at 03:22 PM
I’ve always preferred Nietzsche’s earlier, funnier work, like “Herring, All Too Herring”. But I think the relevant title vis a vis the Palin/Biden debate was “On Truth And Lies in a Non-Moral Sense.”Posted by Martin G. on 10/03 at 05:40 PM
Roger Moore was a Maverick too. And he’s foreign. So McCain can’t be president.Posted by on 10/03 at 07:09 PM
Well then, when you fail the first exam, and realize there is not a chance in Moloch’s most nefarious reaches to pass the second, you rely on the most obvious phase two strategy (surging blindly ahead as it were): Cheat--
Palin reviewing prepared notes during duh-bait.Posted by on 10/03 at 09:55 PM
…related.Posted by peter ramus on 10/03 at 10:33 PM
- Posted by peter ramus on 10/03 at 10:36 PM
Michael- it’s great to have you back. You should moonlight with SNL.Posted by on 10/03 at 10:43 PM
you mock maggie o’connell for invoking gen. mclellan as the commander of our forces in afghanistan, but she was making a valid point.
also, she thinks gen. burnside is doing great in iraq, and gen. robert e. lee is just tearing things up as the commander of the joint chiefs of staff.
what she really hopes for, tho, is for mccain to spend an evening at ford’s theater.Posted by skippy on 10/03 at 11:54 PM
I missed this blog so much.Posted by on 10/04 at 04:07 AM
This is way late, but I though it important for the historical record of this blog to record that David Broder, douchenozzle of faux bipartisanship, came through like the corporatist hack that he is and also declared it a draw.
But he was no better than Palin. She appeared cool as a cucumber, comfortable with her talking points and unrattled by anything that was thrown at her.
You know like her newest ones the Obama liked to “pal around” with terrorists.Posted by on 10/04 at 06:14 PM