Shorter Michael Barone: the Obama Campus Thugocracy will jam your phone lines!
Actually, the verbatim Michael Barone is much better:
“I need you to go out and talk to your friends and talk to your neighbors,” Barack Obama told a crowd in Elko, Nev. “I want you to talk to them whether they are independent or whether they are Republican. I want you to argue with them and get in their face.” Actually, Obama supporters are doing a lot more than getting into people’s faces. They seem determined to shut people up.
That’s what Obama supporters, alerted by campaign emails, did when conservative Stanley Kurtz appeared on Milt Rosenberg’s WGN radio program in Chicago. Kurtz had been researching Obama’s relationship with unrepentant Weather Underground terrorist William Ayers in Chicago Annenberg Challenge papers in the Richard J. Daley Library in Chicago—papers that were closed off to him for some days, apparently at the behest of Obama supporters.
Obama fans jammed WGN’s phone lines and sent in hundreds of protest emails. The message was clear to anyone who would follow Rosenberg’s example. We will make trouble for you if you let anyone make the case against The One.
I’ll get back to that “in your face” moment a little bit later on. For now, I want you all to contemplate the horror of hundreds of Obama thugs sending in protest emails and jamming WGN’s phone lines. These jackboot tactics were apparently so effective as to shut down WGN altogether, depriving Stanley Kurtz and Milton Rosenberg of any opportunity to inform listeners that Bill Ayers secretly wrote Dreams from My Father while teaching Obama how to blow up stuff. The message was clear: anyone who shows that Obama, like Osama, has a friend who bombed the Pentagon will receive a sternly worded email.
That odd rattling noise you hear? That, my friends, is the sound of pearls being clutched all over the length and breadth of Wingnuttia.
Barone then churns out a series of random Drudge-generated paragraphs that go like this: members of the Barack Obama Truth Squad who point out that “Obama is a secret Muslim” is an untrue statement are shutting down free speech; the fairness doctrine is bad; “NBC and its parent, General Electric, don’t want people to hear speech that attacks liberals” (that’s a direct quote!); card check legislation is also bad. Barone forgot to mention that someone once threw a pie at David Horowitz, but maybe he’s saving that for the next devastating installment. Anyway, here’s the stunning climax:
Today’s liberals seem to be taking their marching orders from other quarters. Specifically, from the college and university campuses where administrators, armed with speech codes, have for years been disciplining and subjecting to sensitivity training any students who dare to utter thoughts that liberals find offensive. The campuses that used to pride themselves as zones of free expression are now the least free part of our society.
Obama supporters who found the campuses congenial and Obama himself, who has chosen to live all his adult life in university communities, seem to find it entirely natural to suppress speech that they don’t like and seem utterly oblivious to claims that this violates the letter and spirit of the First Amendment. In this campaign, we have seen the coming of the Obama thugocracy, suppressing free speech, and we may see its flourishing in the four or eight years ahead.
OK, first, I want to point out that there’s nothing racially charged about the phrase “Obama thugocracy,” because, as Stanley Kurtz’s groundbreaking research has shown, one of Obama’s mentors did indeed openly embrace “thug life.” And I want to acknowledge that Barack Hussein Obama has, in fact, chosen to live all his adult life in university communities: Chicago, Springfield, Washington, D.C.—these are quintessential college towns, cocoons for sensitivity-training, free-speech-suppressing liberal fascists who never grow up.
But now it’s time to go back to that “in your face” moment. Here it is, in all its chilling thugaliciousness (NSFW, and if you have kids, now’s the time to put them to bed):
At the 0:26 mark:
I need you to go out and talk to your friends and talk to your neighbors. I want you to talk to them whether they are independent or whether they are Republican. I want you to argue with them and get in their face. If they tell you that well, we’re not sure where he stands on guns, I want you to say he believes in the Second Amendment. If they tell you, well, he’s gonna raise your taxes, you say no he’s not, he’s gonna lower them.
My sources tell me that when Michael Barone first saw this video, he was so terrified he lost consciousness and had to be revived with smelling salts. Apparently it reminded him of a traumatic moment from his own college days at Harvard in the mid-60s, when he said “Martin Luther King, Jr. is a dangerous radical who will force us all to become Negro,” whereupon a classmate replied, “uh, that’s actually not true,” thereby suppressing Barone’s free speech. For here, as you can plainly see, Obama is telling his supporters to inform their neighbors that he supports the Second Amendment and will lower taxes! This, my friends, is the very essence of liberal fascism. By telling his adoring acolytes to “knock on some doors” and “make some phone calls,” Obama is undermining the First Amendment whatchamacallit that is so essential to our democracy. Where will it end? Don’t bother to answer that one—you know perfectly well where it ends.
So now it’s time to give Obama his secret marching orders. Hell, yeah! We campus liberals haven’t trained him from his earliest days as a Muslim child in the madrassas of Upper Manchuria for nothing, you know. Senator Obama: once elected, you will proceed to enact the Stealth Agenda. This Stealth Agenda will include, but not be limited to:
-- universal health care for all Americans;
-- the formation of workers’ collectives in all key industries;
-- punishment for plutocrats! every corporate official involved in every corporate scandal from Enron to the financial meltdown will be put to work paving roads and rebuilding infrastructure;
-- restoration of the Caliphate! this time with soul!
-- compulsory gay marriage, to be conducted by lottery;
-- one required lower-division course in “diverse cultures and traditions.”
You heard it here first, folks.
And why am I putting this up on a blog if it’s a “Stealth Agenda”? Because it’s too late to stop us now! Bwah hah hah, etc.
Update: Ah, I see that the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences has gotten on board with the Stealth Agenda program, by awarding a Nobel Prize to Paul Krugman for his groundbreaking work on forming workers’ collectives and devising punishments for plutocrats. The Obama thugocracy applauds this wise and timely award!
”...Obama himself, who has chosen to live all his adult life in university communities...”
I thought Obama was a “community organizer” (from Chicago--which has a lot of nonwhite people) and a “Chicago politician”. Now I hear he spent his whole life in sheltered speech-protected college communities?Posted by Bulworth on 10/13 at 10:18 AM
Exactly so, Bulworth—that’s how sneaky Obama is, and that’s why we still don’t know the answer to the question, who is the real Barack Hussein Obama?Posted by on 10/13 at 10:25 AM
What’s this, a blog?
In answer to the question above, Obama is both an elitist snobby effete professor (ahem) and a scary Mooselimb terrorist. And a dessert topping.
~Posted by ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© on 10/13 at 10:28 AM
-- restoration of the Caliphate! this time with soul!
Dig deeper into this critical component of Obama’s Stealth Agenda and you’ll find a well ensconced Cuban mole.Posted by on 10/13 at 10:50 AM
I love the McCain campaign schizophrenia. On one hand Obama is far too weak to handle the bad actors that threaten America. On the other he is the political successor to Al Capone.
Which one is it guys?
e.Posted by on 10/13 at 11:01 AM
Every time I see the name Michael Barone, I think of the mellifluous-voiced host of “Pipedreams,” and then I’m confused. Why is he going on about the campaign when there are organists in the world whom he has not yet interviewed?
But then Michael Barone 2.0 (the screedy one) has a voice made for blogging.Posted by on 10/13 at 11:33 AM
And Michael Barone knows his thugocracy, so better listen up.
In a McLaughlin Group end-of-the-year “awards” discussion commentator Michael Barone picked the Brooks Brothers Riot as “Best Photo Op,” commenting, ” Oh, I’d pick those Miami-Dade protestors, those Republicans that were supposedly a mob who were protesting when the Board of Canvassers proposed to take the count outside of public view, in violation of Florida law.”Posted by on 10/13 at 11:42 AM
Compulsory gay marriage? The Onion beat you to it four years ago (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30475):
“As we are all aware, it’s simply not possible for gay marriage and heterosexual marriage to co-exist,” Massachusetts Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall said. “Our ruling in November was just the first step toward creating an all-gay Massachusetts.” . . . Marshall then announced her engagement to Holyoke kindergarten teacher Betsy Peterson, a pairing that had been randomly generated by computers in the census office earlier that day.Posted by Rugosa on 10/13 at 12:38 PM
Bwah hah hah, etc.
What does a video of a Henry Paulson staff meeting from early September have to do with any of this? Sometimes you’re really confusing. Not steady and unchanging and transparent like Bill Kristol giving campaign advice.Posted by on 10/13 at 12:45 PM
Elliot @ 5: I think ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© @ 3 has your answer. And if that’s not enough for you, remember that Obama managed to be born in Indonesia, Kenya, Hawaii and Cambridge, MA all at once.
J-- @ 4: that explains a lot. This is even more explosive than the Frank Marshall Davis revelations that should have knocked Obama out of the race a year ago!!!
Rachel @ 6: Michael Barone 2.0 (the screedy one) has a voice made for blogging. And a brain made for pajamas, as JP @ 7 demonstrates. But JP @ 9, all the tangential fun of this post lies in the links. The Paulson meeting is just a topical reference, just as the Mickey Mouse cartoon (if you watch it all the way through) is an eerie anticipation of Attica. And the Caliphate wasn’t really based in Tunisia, either.
The Onion beat you to it four years ago.
Yes, but that’s how this works: first they ignore you, then they laugh at you in the Onion, then they fight you on the blogs, then you win.Posted by Michael on 10/13 at 01:03 PM
Of course Obama was born in multiple places. He was actually born everywhere and at all times. As the second coming of the messiah, he can do that kind of stuff.
e.Posted by on 10/13 at 01:07 PM
Secret marching order #7: Restore the original Thug life of 19th-century India, so cruelly suppressed by the British (note: the same evildoers who employed Barack Hussein Obama’s grandfather in Kenya). Only this time armed with guns rather than scarves, because Barack Hussein Obama believes in the Second Amendment.
Extra credit in the lower-division course on “diverse cultures and traditions” for reading this.Posted by on 10/13 at 01:33 PM
In this campaign, we have seen the coming of the Obama thugocracy, suppressing free speech, and we may see its flourishing in the four or eight years ahead.
Okay Mr. Answer Man, what exactly is going to flourish in the four or eight years ahead: the Obama thugocracy, the suppression of free speech, or free speech itself?
And I have to think the inclusion of eight years is a tell—the wingnuts know they’ve screwed up so badly that eight years is likely a given.Posted by on 10/13 at 01:44 PM
Secret marching order #7: Restore the original Thug life of 19th-century India
That’s what I call Old School!
Now I know why Biden often has a hanky sticking out of his pocket.Posted by on 10/13 at 02:23 PM
Oh, I hope some collectivist Obamatista tries to get all up in my face, man. That’s just beggin’ for a bag of Cheetos upside the head. You want thug-life, Leftists? Bring it!
(captcha: “fear” of a
BlackBarack Planet!)Posted by on 10/13 at 03:14 PM
Can we also get a new anthem of some collectivist nature; ‘All Praise for the Great Socially Networked Thugocracy’ and so forth???
One teeny tiny quibble with the third, bullet-ridden agenda point: Could they also be made to rebuild the railroads and rail passenger transit systems too????Posted by on 10/13 at 03:50 PM
I’m happy about Krugman getting the prize and I’m all in favor of giving Al-Obama-ramadama-dingdong-daddy-o yet more super top-secret eyes-only marching orders. But, will the intertubes be able to stand all the bilious invective and malodorous flamebreath currently being poured into them by the farflung minions of The Troglodyte Wingnuttia Conspiracy? Is this going to be the day the Al Gore’s webnets died?Posted by Bill Benzon on 10/13 at 03:59 PM
Thuggin’ till the day I die
They don’t give a fuck about us
And when I start to rise
A hero in their children’s eyes
NOW they give a fuck about usPosted by s'dog on 10/13 at 05:06 PM
Well, I think the question that really has to be asked is: WWGD (What Would Gojira Do?).Posted by Dave M on 10/13 at 05:23 PM
I, for one, welcome our new thuggish overlords.
Every time I read the name ‘Michael Barone’ I think of that big fat criminal mastermind frog guy Baron Greenback from ‘Danger Mouse’, who had this crow sidekick who was always saying, “Si, Baroni!” all the time, and then proceeding to (mis)perform even the most ridiculous lackey-type tasks—even those only tangentially associated with the actual doing of his evil bidding. Oh, the hilarious hi-jinks that ensued! Hmm.
Coincidence?Posted by thepuppethead on 10/13 at 05:37 PM
At the moment Gojira is sulking. She’s a little tired of being asked to pull humankind’s bacon (pork! pork!) out of the fire. However, she’s been contemplating a little “baked Alaska” as a November surprise, if needed.Posted by on 10/13 at 05:46 PM
Shhh...The whole purpose the Stealth Agenda is to keep it a secret until after Election Day, hmmm, maybe after Inauguration Day and then...Bam! Hit ‘em when they’re still sleeping.
Say it very quietly: Stealth, stealth, stealth…Posted by Mitchell Freedman on 10/13 at 05:50 PM
J-- @ 14:
Play up, play up, and play the game. Pure thuggery.Posted by on 10/13 at 05:55 PM
Forgot to mention how if one of those leftist collectionist Obamaniacs gets up in my thug-ass face I’ll pop a cap in his ass! Whatever that means.Posted by on 10/13 at 06:12 PM
Truer words were never written than Fiberal’s at 12 Oct 2008, 6:37 p.m., on the “The Impending Obama Thugocracy” comments thread:
“It’s hard to be a conservative academician.</i>Posted by John "Hussein" Protevi on 10/13 at 07:10 PM
After all was said and done
Second Test and West Indies wonPosted by on 10/13 at 07:44 PM
so, i guess actual stalking in real life of a disabled 12 year old to determine if his family deserves government health insurance is not bad, but calling a radio station en masse is bad?
makes sense to me.
i especially like the part where barone conveniently forgets that the first amendment is about government not restricting speech.Posted by skippy on 10/13 at 08:09 PM
Your draft Stealth Agenda holds promise, but it is written in the forbidden tongue of English, which will be abolished by Presidente Erik Estrada once the United States is absorbed into Greater Aztlan. Please see El Plan Secreto de Obama, item 1.
Welcome back to losernet, btw.Posted by The Editors on 10/13 at 09:21 PM
"-- one required lower-division course in “diverse cultures and traditions.”
But..but.. how will the engineers graduate?!?Posted by Joanna on 10/13 at 09:41 PM
Joanna @ 29: I have no time for these petty-bourgeois questions. The Revolution is at hand! Three credits, term paper, final exam, special emphasis on class consciousness.
The Editors @ 28: usted tiene razón, amigo. But it is better not to tell the gringos just yet that they will never again be able to press “1” for English. For similar reasons (I’m looking at you, Mitchell @ 22), I will breathe nothing of El Plan Secreto’s blueprint for Interstate 35, the OBAMA-NAFTA superhighway.
spyder @ 16: Can we also get a new anthem of some collectivist nature; ‘All Praise for the Great Socially Networked Thugocracy’ and so forth???
You know, where’s Chris Clarke when you really need him? Chris! We need another “Ballad of the Hemp Beret,” only this time with syncopation.
Tim @ 12 and 23: thanks for taking this blog back to the Old School. Thuggee now, thuggee tomorrow, thuggee forever!Posted by Michael on 10/13 at 09:59 PM
If Ayers is a terrorist, why has President Bush not exercised his unilateral authority as Chief Executive to lock him up? He doesn’t need a legal justification, he can just order it done.
But he hasn’t. And Senator McCain hasn’t asked him to. And neither has Sarah Palin. And so far as I know the freerepublic and redstate people have not organized a campaign to deluge with demands that the man be sent to Gitmo immediately.
Are they all in this together?!Posted by on 10/14 at 10:02 AM
re:30 you could do “My Sharona” as “Mike Barone” the lyrics don’t really work that well. Or “Bony Maroney” as “Michael Barone”. Parody lyrics left to the reader as homework.
e.Posted by on 10/14 at 01:53 PM
What does it say about me that I actually ENDORSE, with a straight face, all the the STEALTH AGENDA?!?!? (With the added work on the rail system as suggested--great idea!)
Am I much much more radical than you guys? What does that make me, a Super-thugee?
Well, actually, I am not sure what the Caliphate is. Does that have something to do with Jesus Christ Superstar?
captcha: “case” as in “apparently I am a hard case” leftyPosted by KMTBERRY on 10/14 at 03:43 PM