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Powell Endorsement Sends Rays to Series

TAMPA, FL—Former Secretary of State Colin Powell endorsed the Tampa Bay Rays for the American League pennant yesterday, spurring them to a dramatic 3-1 victory over the Boston Red Sox.

Calling the Rays a “transformational team” and “a new generation coming onto the World Series stage,” Powell apparently inspired Rays players and allayed the concerns of Rays fans who feared that the Red Sox would find a way to stage yet another stunning playoff comeback.

“Motherf***ing Red Sox,” said one Rays supporter who spoke just before the start of game seven.  “Just when you think they’re finally dead, they nargleflecchjeedusrawkik&%##@*$#&=))))” The fan then began to spit and twitch uncontrollably and was taken to the Yankee-Indian Institute for Post-Traumatic Sox Disorders for observation.

The Rays had been projected to win the American League pennant as early as last Thursday night, but an improbable eight-run rally propelled the Red Sox back into the series.  All eyes then turned to Florida, where many analysts speculated that the series might end in a virtual tie, thus opening the door to legal and procedural disputes and possibly leaving the fate of the American League pennant in the hands of a decidedly pro-Boston Supreme Court.  “Weirder things have happened,” noted Rays manager Joe Maddon.

But Powell’s endorsement was “a game-changer,” Maddon said in a post-game interview last night.  “I know it’s a cliche, but Powell really changed the game in a game-changing kind of way.”

Equally important, for some observers, were Powell’s criticisms of the Red Sox organization.  On NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Powell said he was “disappointed . . . by some of the approaches that Terry Francona and his players have taken recently,” and called the Boston front office “a little narrow” in its approach to the ALCS.  Powell specifically singled out the controversial “robocalls” in which members of the Red Sox organization suggest that the Rays are trying to hide aspects of their past that might alienate independent and undecided fans.  “I have heard senior members of the Red Sox front office drop the suggestion, ‘they used to have a Satanic middle name and they might be associated with Lou Piniella,” said Powell.  “This is not the way we should be playing ball in America.”

In a related development, Tucker Bounds, spokesman for the campaign of Senator John McCain, said the endorsement was simply more evidence that Tampa Bay was unqualified for the World Series.  “Only an unproven and inexperienced team like the Tampa Bay Hussein Rays would have to rely so heavily on another man’s resume in making the case for their right to play in the Series, and it shows that they’re just not ready,” Bounds said. 

Senator McCain could not be reached for comment on last night’s game, but in a recent interview with the St. Petersburg Times, McCain pointedly declined the opportunity to offer words of support to the Tampa Bay Rays and their fans.


Hat tip to the spread-the-wealth socialists at this joint, and congratulations to Nate Silver for his amazin’ prognosticatin’ abilities.

Posted by on 10/20 at 11:51 AM
  1. Yo, Michael! Didja hear? Boog Powell’s endored Obama for President. He batted left, and threw right - just the kind of bimanualism the season calls for. I hear he serves up a mean barbecue.

    Posted by Bill Benzon  on  10/20  at  01:06 PM
  2. Good point about the bimanualism and the bbq, but I don’t think the American people are ready for a Powell named Boog.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  01:35 PM
  3. Shortly after your visit to USF, the Rays won the pennant. Nice coincidence, but is there more? “Invite Michael to speak on campus, and your local team beats the Red Sox.”

    Posted by Sherman Dorn  on  10/20  at  01:41 PM
  4. True that!  But this week the good people of Colorado and New Mexico needed me for other reasons.  Next week I go to Ohio.  No, I’m not kidding.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  01:44 PM
  5. Supporters of the Red Sox were quick to belittle Powell’s endorsement because both Powell and Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon wear glasses. Noting Powell’s past support for the Red Sox and manager Terry Francona, one supporter said, “I’m afraid Powell put eyewear above baseball.”

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  01:47 PM
  6. 4: Michael revealed as an agent of ACORN! The fabric of democracy will never be the same again.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  01:49 PM
  7. Seriously, about Nate Silver. One can only hope his streak continues.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  01:59 PM
  8. Since this happened in Florida, I believe there is a good chance this will go to the SCOTUS for review. I wouldn’t be buying my tickets just yet…


    Posted by  on  10/20  at  02:05 PM
  9. Michael revealed as an agent of ACORN! The fabric of democracy will never be the same again.

    Early multiple votin’ is hard work.  It’s hard!  But the rewards speak for themselves.  I’m hoping Obama will name me U.S. ambassador to Canada, where I will open negotiations to bring the Phoenix Coyotes back to Winnipeg and keep an eye on Alaska.  Also.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  02:10 PM
  10. So is Palin phated to play the Philly in this twisted world of yours?

    Posted by George  on  10/20  at  03:06 PM
  11. What are the ties between Bill Ayers and Carl Crawford, Cliff Floyd, David Price, Jonny Gomes and Fernando Perez?  Real Americans need to know.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  03:13 PM
  12. Me thinks the McCain clan is experiencing some cross-Tuckerization.  Bounds bounds for the Sox, whilst Eskew is so deeply Southern Fried that he can find all manner of adoptive parentage in Carolina and Florida (they play in Russia right?).  And now that they have been fully exorcized of the “Devil,” they ascend transformatively to the heavens above.

    I suspect any minute now the other Tucker, Carlson, will rise up from the M/P re-cess-ed pool of lobbyists to advocate that the Phillies are more worthy of accolades because of their participation in constitutional originalism.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  03:32 PM
  13. We’ll all be sorry that the Sox didn’t make it when ObL rears his head during game one, slaughters both benches, and turns the World Series into a Terrorist intrasquad pepper game. Which of course the Terrorists will win, because Obama refused to steal their signs.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  05:07 PM
  14. Frankly, Michael, I think “the Boog” is just who we need to restore our credibility with the UN. Just think, when he convenes a summit of world diplomats, we can call it Boogermania I. If that isn’t class. . . .

    Posted by Bill Benzon  on  10/20  at  05:29 PM
  15. Doesn’t Powell pal around with terrorists?  And wouldn’t that mean, consequently, that the Devil Rays are little more than terrorists masquerading as well-meaning Americans?  Need I remind everyone, as well, that the Devil Rays have been in the American Leauge since 1998, a scant ten years compared to the Red Sox near centennial presence.

    You have to ask yourself, who do you want representing your league?

    -This message has been approved by the Red Sox.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  05:38 PM
  16. Damn it, quit changing the damn game! The designated hitter rule was bad enough; now with the damn robocalls?

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  10:32 PM
  17. The Rays “won” if you call that a victory.  Look at all the money they had to throw around - they got an average of $15 from every one of their supporters.  Clearly, their fans were trying to buy the championship with this outrageous ticket purchasing power.

    Not only that, there was rampant fraud that tears at the very fabric of baseball.  Did you know that almost 40 baseball players were reputed to have been present at the game?  This in spite of the fact that each team is only supposed to have 9 players on the field at any one time!  Do the Rays really think they can get away with this wild conspiracy to stack the deck by putting dozens of players in the field at once?

    Why won’t the liberal sports media conduct a full investigation of this anti-baseball activity?  I think the people would be very interested in an expose of that nature.

    Posted by  on  10/20  at  11:41 PM
  18. Great stuff, jenniebee—I think you’ve hit on something that could break this “fielder fraud” scandal wide open.  A real game-changer, seriously.  On a related note, did you see that Sports Illustrated refused to retouch a closeup of Dustin Pedroia, thereby making him look even younger than he really is?????

    The MSM’s days are numbered.  The Army of David Ortizes will take them down, one designated-kerning-hitter expose at a time. . . .

    Posted by Michael  on  10/21  at  12:48 AM





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