Every day is a snow day
But this one’s on a Saturday, when Jamie would be home anyway. Yes, well. The other day I had a Bright Idea: we would go to a noon showing of Akeelah and the Bee at our local State Theatre, which is a great venue for movies and concerts and things. Last month, I actually went to the showing of “The Dark Side of Oz,” the mashup in which there are allegedly a hundred or more “concordances” between The Wizard of Oz and Dark Side of the Moon. I found three! And all I had to do was to watch the movie for the four hundredth time and listen to that dang album two and a half times. (Well, that wasn’t all bad—it does have three songs on it, after all, and I did wind up spending a few amusing moments checking out a couple of the Pink Floyd / 2001 masterpieces on the YouTubes, as well as a live performance of “Careful with that Axe, Eugene,” which you don’t hear much on the radio anymore.) A neighbor and I talked briefly after the show. “I still don’t get it,” she admitted. “Did you see all these connections?” “To misquote Sigourney Weaver in Galaxy Quest,” I replied, “I didn’t know people could get that stoned.”
Anyway, Janet insisted we walk the nine blocks to the movie in the snow, which made sense, because (a) it was fun and (b) the roads are terrible for driving. The only problem was dealing with Jamie, who tends to fuss about things like this by saying “I think it might be better to take the car” and asking “are we driving or walking?” a couple of dozen times. But he was great! The only problem was that when we got to State Theatre, they were kinda mystified as to why we were there, because the movie is scheduled for Saturday . . . February 14. I suppose I forgot to check into that part.
So we had lunch, got Jamie a haircut, hung out in a bookstore, walked home in the snow (more fun!), and then shoveled our sidewalk (more more fun!). Again. And while I was shoveling, a got an idea for a Fun Game.
When you’re urging someone to stop bothering you, which “off” is your favorite? There’s “back off” and “lay off” and “bugger off” and “piss off” and “f*ck off” and “shove off” and “step off” as well as the more polite “knock it off,” of course. This should make for a most piquant comment section!
I like shag, as I think in an American context, it isn’t clear just how offensively it should register. I’ve tried it out on my parents, though, and I can’t say they were pleased.Posted by on 01/10 at 04:59 PM
"back off” works but must be preceded by “dude” as in “dude back off” or “dude just back off”....Posted by on 01/10 at 05:18 PM
The classic “Get lost” works for me.
An old favorite my mother liked was “Put an egg in your shoe and beat it.” I’ll bet Jamie would enjoy that one!
All that snow! Wow. Must be the polar icecaps melting.Posted by Hattie on 01/10 at 05:23 PM
My favourite when I was about ten was “Naff off”, thanks to Princess Anne. (Although of course she actually said “Naff orf”.) It used to be Norman Stanley Fletcher’s phrase of choice as well. If it was OK with the BBC, how could my parents possibly object...?Posted by on 01/10 at 05:56 PM
Take a long walk ___ a short pier.Posted by on 01/10 at 06:23 PM
Must it be of the ”x off!” construction? I’ve preferred to nasal up a tad and utter a crisp “go away,” hoping for at least 5% of George Sanders’ withering delivery.Posted by David J Swift on 01/10 at 06:24 PM
Take a long walk off a short pier.
Go play in the traffic.Posted by Hattie on 01/10 at 06:45 PM
I like to say, “Asked and answered!” Because I saw in a movie once when a lawyer used in courtroom to indicate the witness had already answered the other lawyer’s question and the judge should make the other lawyer quit hectoring the witness.
Unfortunately, no one else has seen that movie (or show or wherever I saw the phrase used) and so no one knows what my clever phrase means.Posted by on 01/10 at 06:53 PM
I like “bugger off” because it reminds me of Terry Pratchett books. I know he didn’t invent it or anything but that is what I always think of.Posted by on 01/10 at 06:55 PM
Back in the day, when my step sons were teenagers, I heard “get off my back” a lot from SS the younger.
Way back in the earlier part of the day, when I was a kid, we used what Hattie said @7, and also “Go tell your mother she wants you.” That one probably won’t work too well with adults.
Also like Hattie’s egg @3. That’s a new one on me.
Captcha: shot, as in ______ and a beer.Posted by jazzbumpa on 01/10 at 07:04 PM
Jeeze, you’re all a bunch of polite little daisies, aren’t ya? Mr. Tangerine and I are both solidly in the “fuck off” camp. It’s the classic, the benchmark by which all other “offs” are measured.Posted by Orange on 01/10 at 07:04 PM
"Bugger off” is fine if said with a Yorkshire accent. I prefer “Harlem off”. I think he was a hockey player.Posted by on 01/10 at 08:43 PM
Is “rack off” Australian only? I kinda like it.Posted by Peter on 01/10 at 09:04 PM
Out here in our culturally stagnant remnant of the American dream (the very middle of the country) we’ve been inviting the obnoxious to buzz off since Moby Dick was a minnow.
How does the “Dark Side of Oz” handle the populist elements of the Wizard? There’d be no red slipper clicking home to today’s Kansas for a wayward Dorothy.Posted by on 01/10 at 09:05 PM
is good too.Posted by on 01/10 at 10:18 PM
"Sod off” has a nice ring to it.Posted by on 01/10 at 10:34 PM
I wonder why “pants off!” never really made it, even though “it was pants” is useful.Posted by on 01/10 at 10:42 PM
I just heard the announcers at the Cardinals-Panthers game say “buzz off.” Timing. Like wow!
Orange - I wonder when “fuck off” became popular. I’m pretty sure it hasn’t always been there—can’t recall anyone saying it in the 60’s. Did it start in the 70’s? 80’s?
captcha: return—What that annoying bugger does after you tell him to fuck off.Posted by jazzbumpa on 01/10 at 10:51 PM
Oooh, I forgot about “buzz off.” And yeah, how about them Clean Birds? This is Arizona’s year, I’m telling you.Posted by Michael on 01/10 at 11:14 PM
I agree that “buzz off” is the classic middle-American version. It’s my preferred choice when the situation calls for FCC-approved language.
Another one I used to hear is “flake off.” Maybe it’s a flashback to some 70s or 80s sitcom? “Make like your dandruff and flake off.”Posted by reharmonizer on 01/10 at 11:40 PM
Surely the worst this year has been
Madh off! :-(Posted by Eunoia on 01/11 at 01:16 AM
Wax off, MB.Posted by on 01/11 at 04:15 AM
“Sod off” has a nice ring to it.
Sod off was ruined for me when it was used by Daphne in Frasier. It just didn’t sound like something a human could consider doing.Posted by on 01/11 at 04:30 AM
It doesn’t contain “off,” but I’m fond of “run along.” Dismissive and suitable for all ages needing dismissal.Posted by on 01/11 at 09:24 AM
My wife, for some reason, is fond of “honk off”. But then she’s from Iowa.
In the Navy, when you need to tell someone to stop doing what they’re doing, you tell them to “knock it off”. Also, “knock off” is the quasi-official term for “the end of a work period”, so you “knock off” for lunch, and then “turn to” again after lunch. Then you knock off again at the end of the day. When you’re aboard ship, you actually get announcement to remind you of these things:
*Bos’ns “attention” whistle (If you ever watched Star Trek, you’d recognize the sound)
“Turn to, commence ship’s work” (at like 0800)
There was an special whistle signal for chow around 1130, so you didn’t need to say any actual words for that. Then another “turn to” around 1300, and “liberty call” whenever the work day was over.
Wow, nothing like an extended diversion into nautical terminology to get the day started.Posted by on 01/11 at 09:40 AM
Knock it off Sean.
Seriously, though, that was nautical, but nice.Posted by jazzbumpa on 01/11 at 11:55 AM
"Sod off” is nice, Satchel @16. But “sawed off” is more threatening.Posted by on 01/11 at 11:57 AM
I tend to use the old Robert Crumbism, “Bite My Crank”. In more genteel company I use “buzz off”.Posted by Bob In Pacifca on 01/11 at 12:21 PM
How about in other languages? They can come in handy while traveling, or dealing with colleagues. “Laisse-moi la paix” is strongish, whereas “va te faire foutre” is pretty much fightin’ words.Posted by John Protevi on 01/11 at 01:27 PM
Take off! You hosers.Posted by on 01/11 at 01:36 PM
Smirn.Posted by Chris Clarke on 01/11 at 04:18 PM
I’m sure there’s a connection between that and the movie/album combo.Posted by Roxanne on 01/11 at 10:21 PM
Horror show!Posted by on 01/11 at 11:02 PM
I guess that Cardinals/Chargers superbowl is on ice.
(along with the Giants/Ravens )
captcha “game”Posted by on 01/12 at 12:06 AM
Seeing as how it’s usually the dog that’s annoying me, a simple “Off!” is sufficient. Same thing when it’s a cat deciding to get on one of the food-contact surfaces.Posted by on 01/12 at 12:23 AM
I guess that Cardinals/Chargers superbowl is on ice.
Looks like we’re headed to the Pennsylvania Turnpike Bowl.Posted by on 01/12 at 10:27 AM
MFBD: masticate feces and be deceased!!!!
I am still curious about how you walked in the snow, as in: “you actually had sidewalks????” Due to our record defying unending feet of snow and current flooding, there were no places to walk except the middle of the street, and now those are just large lakes between ice dams. ‘Surface’ of presumed hard snow belies deep frigid water pooled beneath. Which is why i leaped on an airplane and flew to beautiful and sunny warm SoCal and now AZ.Posted by on 01/12 at 07:29 PM
Bog off, bugger off and rack off all work just fine. And then I found Mad off just in time to diversify my investments.Posted by on 01/12 at 08:19 PM
Stormcrow wins the thread with “Take Off!”
A close second to the Nautical terminology. In fact, the Nautical Terminology SHOULD win, except it failed to remind me of Strange Brew.Posted by KMTBERRY on 01/12 at 09:37 PM
Newfoundland vernacular: “Pack off”
This may have gone out of vogue but from my highschool days “Pack” could stand in for The Eff Word, depending on usage.
However, an idiom dictionary does list ‘pack off’ as slang for sending someone away, e.g. “We packed the kids off to their grandparents for the weekend.” Their example, not mine.
Or perhaps it was a corruption of “Back off”? Linguistics, thy name is linguine.Posted by on 01/13 at 02:57 PM