While I’m slogging thru my Works Cited
and searching throughout the four corners of the Internets, I came across the most curious thing—an entire website devoted to obscure Presidential oath-taking protocol. It seems that because Barack Obama has now taken the oath of office twice, his first term will be eight years (since each oath is binding for four), and he will be eligible to run for a second term in 2016; and because the second oath was not taken on a Bible, President Obama is now free to convert the United States to Islam. السلام عليكم, President Hussein al-Obama!
Rumor is that the second time he took it, he had Roberts insert… “and I will serve as President for life and thereafter an artificial intelligence program based on my particular brain mapping will continue to serve in this capacity until our Alien Masters return in 8089.”
but I guess this is not being widely reported.Posted by on 01/22 at 03:12 PM
Shouldn’t the comma be…
You know what? Never mind. My heart’s not really into quasi-accurate nitpicking today.
Oh, and if the Chief Justice crosses his fingers, does the oath count? Or is that implicitly addressed by the 20th Amendment, too?Posted by on 01/22 at 03:29 PM
Oddly, I read on Wikipedia, that Chief Justice Taft botched the oath just as badly swearing Hoover in (despite having taken the oath himself a few years before).Posted by on 01/22 at 04:03 PM
Aarghh, Future Searched again!
There is a very loud amusement park right in front of my present lodgings.Posted by on 01/22 at 04:29 PM
Hey, JP found the “whitey” tape!Posted by on 01/22 at 04:58 PM
A) I’d like for President al Obama to take another few oaths, then, please.
2) I hope once he converts our country to Islam (God Willing), that he doesn’t forget the kind words he had for us non-believers. I’m so totally not hip to that whole sword to the neck thing.Posted by on 01/22 at 05:01 PM
J—your comment is invalid because you switched from alphabetic to Hindu-Arabic. Or was that a subtle way of acknowledging our incipient transformation into the Islamic States of America?
And yes, while it was nice of al-Obama to acknowledge the infidels among us, I hear that the people at Corrente and No Quarter are livid that he failed to include Zoroastrians.Posted by on 01/22 at 05:29 PM
Does it mention yet whether he pledged to annex Obama City, Japan? His American Jedi emissary was seen negotiating with Sonny Chiba nt too long ago.Posted by The Constructivist on 01/22 at 05:43 PM
Allahu Akbar! This is good news indeed. And so it is that we finally give the lie to the classic phrase, “Eight Is Enough.”
Hey, have y’all seen the new New Yorker cover, with Obama’s face in George Washingtonian trappings? He is making the wig and high collar combo hot.Posted by Orange on 01/22 at 07:19 PM
Looks to me like a redesign of the $1 bill is in order!
And thanks for not giving me a hard time about that comma, Orange. After mds’s comment, it would just be, piling on.Posted by on 01/22 at 08:02 PM
And what’s this about Obama and Chiba City? I hate it when people mess up blogs with all their pomo pastiches.Posted by on 01/22 at 08:06 PM
I’ve always thought of this blog as unparallelled in its chibacity.Posted by Chris Clarke on 01/22 at 08:45 PM
And what’s this about Obama and Chiba City?
The sky above the White House was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.Posted by on 01/22 at 09:43 PM
Jaysus, Mary and Joseph! I can’t figure out how to get the accents onto Berube, and you’ve figured out how to insert Arabic. I just give up on all this newfangled computer technology. For the record, the second oath means that upon leaving office in January of 2017 Obama becomes the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Roberts becomes president of the hair club for men. You really have to read the constitutional fine print. Now I have to go look up “chibacity” in the dictionary and Chiba City in the Atlas. Busy. Busy. Busy.Posted by on 01/22 at 09:49 PM
Speaking of David Horowitz, someone needs to let him know more than 90% of PGA Tour pros are Republican. Sounds fishier to me than the number of Democrats in higher ed.Posted by The Constructivist on 01/22 at 11:32 PM
Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, you can see them hitting.Posted by on 01/23 at 01:36 AM
I’m sure that, in his mind, al Obama had his fingers crossed, both times!Posted by on 01/23 at 05:02 AM
Anyone else concerned that the daily intelligence briefing has now been renamed “Praise Song for the Day”?Posted by on 01/23 at 07:22 AM
Thanks for the phrase, “quasi-accurate nitpicking,” mds! If you don’t mind, I plan on using that one for awhile.Posted by on 01/23 at 09:15 AM
Anyone else concerned that the daily intelligence briefing has now been renamed “Praise Song for the Day”?
As long as after the briefer is through chanting:
“With great humility and continuing awe at being in the presence of your greatness,
I respectfully bring you the following information,
although surely your all-encompassing wisdom has already anticipated it.
Osama bin Laden, a pathetic would-be rival warlord from across the sea,
but who is really naught but a landless brigand,
is determined to sully your legacy and enhance his own
by means of vile attacks within the very borders of your worshipful domain.
I stand here with certainty that an awesome plan of action has already formed within your perfect brow.
Although we are unworthy we thank you for continued protection and benevolence.
That is all.”
someone actually does something about it, I’m OK.Posted by on 01/23 at 09:32 AM
OK, JP. You’ve covered your ass, now. [Note to quasi-accurate nitpickers: that comma actually appears in The One Percent Doctrine, right there on page 2.]Posted by on 01/23 at 10:14 AM
So BO pledges fealty, and “touches the body"--that of Roberts, standing in for John Marshall, aka the yankee Caiaphas. Which is to say, swearing to uphold the secular Constitution of Madison and Co does not mean affirming Marshall’s standing court (or any religious institutions), which arguably usurped the Constitutional republic sometime during the Jefferson admin.
The old puritans considered oaths pagan and would not swear by them, or even affirm: part of the code duello or somethin’. The House could use a decent duel, ala Burr-Hamilton. Fie, Dame Pelosi, pistols at dawn!Posted by Ezra Hound on 01/23 at 12:55 PM
Forget those Republicans. Let’s go help Luster hunt for quarters in the grass.Posted by on 01/24 at 04:45 AM
Is Chiba City near Ciba dome??? Not that anyone would want to know of course, but then Lido Junction is out there somewhere too. And Lido has great escorts who could help with holding things like bibles or other obscurata of oath-taking arcana.
And for the “record” (captcha) escorts, real escorts, aren’t, you know, teh ho’s. Just ask a Russian impresario:
“The real escort agencies with a good record are few, because this business is not very profitable. Potential clients just don’t understand what is meant by escort. It’s not about selling call-girls or hookers. We don’t deal with this business, that’s another story.”Posted by on 01/24 at 07:43 AM
Ciba dome s/b Cima Dome?Posted by on 01/24 at 12:24 PM