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Konservative Koans

Without words, without silence, will you tell me the truth?

Merely “psychological” torture isn’t really torture because it merely induces psychosis.

Without thinking of good or evil, show me your original face before your mother and father were born.

Nancy Pelosi must resign because of her approval of psychological torture which isn’t torture anyway and which we strongly approve of.

Does a liberal have a Buddha-nature or not?

The Fairness Doctrine is a nanny-state abomination that must never afflict American media again and must be applied to universities instead.

Posted by on 05/25 at 10:42 AM
  1. What is the sound of one hand wanking?

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  01:01 PM
  2. Apologies to 290 Google hits.

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  01:12 PM
  3. 1,2: I’ll confess that that is exactly what I thought of as well.

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  01:32 PM
  4. Does a liberal have a Buddha-nature or not?

    Apart from that visionary eco-Guru Al Gore, palsie of Occi, Chevron, and Apple execs, unlikely, Roshi MB. Most are too romantic, judgmental and ‘merican for the dharma, of whatever variety (McZen not exactly the Dhammapada, a fave eastern text of Schopenhauer--and known even to Nietzsche).  Dems generally tend to be either Jimmy Carter-like sunday schoolers, or papists ala Signora Pelosia, with a few jews and crypto-mooslims: MonotheistCrats.

    Posted by Ezra Hound  on  05/25  at  01:58 PM
  5. If you meet the Buddha on the road, cut his taxes!

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  02:15 PM
  6. Torture’s just another word for nothing left to lose

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  02:49 PM
  7. re: 4 oommmmmmm chaka laka laka....

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  02:51 PM
  8. If you meet the Buddha on the road, cut his taxes!

    Great. Just great. So now in their desperate attempt to stay relevant, the rethuglicans are trying to co-opt Buddhism too. Well, at least they aren’t advocating water boarding him.

    captch: times - as in, In these

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  02:51 PM
  9. True dat: then, nearly every Demo congresshuman and senator agreed to Bush’s war plans, the enhanced interrogation techniques, the IWE itself, FISA, PatAct (as Alex Cockburn and his courageous homies have pointed out, to no avail). For that matter, quite a few wealthy Demos (Feinstein, the Clintons) are as schooled as Cheney is in The Zen of War Profiteering. What is the sound of conflict of interest, and like a DiDi-Blum style kickback??? Somethin’ like ca-cheeeng

    Perhaps the Veil of Maya prevents the ordinary demo. from like understanding like ethical and political consistency, like remembering that Clinton agreed to the De-reg schemes hatched by Gramm/GOP in ‘98 or so, which allowed the swaps, speculation on securities, less stringent quals. for loans etc.

    Posted by Ezra Hound  on  05/25  at  03:02 PM
  10. Why is a conservative pundit when it spins?

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  03:17 PM
  11. Does David Vitter have a Booty-nature?

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  03:18 PM
  12. Which conservative has blessed buddhism? None I can think of. Most are biblethumpers, are they not (though plenty of biblethumpers--and koran thumpers--in Demos)

    (Mr. Hound’s neither conservative, or GOP--or Demo--so the usual insinuations via snark are off base as well). Not supporting Feinsteincrats or Hillaryism--or say the pro-bailout Obama Admin-- does not entail one supports Cheney and Limbaughland.  Alas, the DailyKOS herd mind (which seems to have infected Berubeans as well) can’t quite grasp that.

    Posted by Ezra Hound  on  05/25  at  03:24 PM
  13. Master Cheney had a one-lip zen. Whenever he was asked a question, he curled his lip in a sneer. One day Senator Leahy mocked him behind his back by curling his lip. Master Cheney whirled around and said “go fuck yourself.”

    Posted by John Protevi  on  05/25  at  04:54 PM
  14. I suppose one needs to go all Pirsig in their face now (i prefer William J Craddock)???
    The dog barketh, as the coyote sneaketh the food away.

    Mindless Eddie ate all the crayons for a reason

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  07:33 PM
  15. Without words, without silence, will you tell me the truth?

    Hold up a flower.

    Without thinking of good or evil, show me your original face before your mother and father were born.

    I’d make a sweeping gesture at everything.

    Does a liberal have a Buddha-nature or not?

    Very loudly shout, “NO!” [Not because everything does not have Buddha-nature, but because the question reveals insincerity, and one responds as though to a dog trying to pee on one’s leg.]

    “how”

    Posted by 99  on  05/25  at  07:35 PM
  16. We’re arming students and professors in Texas to ensure campus safety.

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  08:06 PM
  17. Q: What’s the difference between a liberal?
    A: One leg’s both the same.

    Posted by  on  05/25  at  09:25 PM
  18. Clinton and Feinstein are now “liberals?” Worst. Kensho.  Ever.

    Posted by Michael  on  05/25  at  10:05 PM
  19. Worst. Kensho.  Ever.

    I died laughing a bunch of times in the last few minutes!  tongue laugh

    “theory”

    Posted by 99  on  05/25  at  11:04 PM
  20. What is the sound of one water boarding?

    Posted by  on  05/26  at  06:54 AM
  21. Worst. Kensho.  Ever.

    Obviously you’ve never been to Miso in downtown New Haven.

    Posted by  on  05/26  at  09:00 AM
  22. Hound,

    I can’t speak for others but I personally never considered your clear unfiltered completely objective view of reality to be cluttered with party affiliation. Certainly your ability (either God given, natural, or developed through years of hard work) to “see” the truth should be considered a gift rather than a burden.

    Posted by  on  05/26  at  10:03 AM
  23. Obviously you’ve never been to Miso in downtown New Haven.

    That’s a joke, right? And check out the last four comments in that thread, too.  World-historical comments, without a doubt.

    Posted by  on  05/26  at  10:16 AM
  24. What is the self of a student of the law?

    Sonia Sotomayor cannot be confirmed because her experience of picking herself up by her bootstraps has left her with a vision of picking onself up by one’s bootstraps that differs from our own. Or so we’ve heard.

    Posted by  on  05/26  at  11:31 AM
  25. That’s a joke, right?

    I certainly hope so.  And never mind the last four comments, you need to get “I’m on a branch line of the Lyon Train and have no control whatsoever over my destiny” put on a T-shirt.  Hilarity will ensue.

    Posted by  on  05/26  at  12:02 PM
  26. Does the US Joo-diciary have boodha nature?

    When their eloquent guestimates appear to be favoring the Nanny-state, or nanny-monarchy, maybe.

    Posted by Ezra Hound  on  05/26  at  12:30 PM
  27. What is the appearance of one-hand wanking in utero (at 48 seconds)?

    Koan for Rush: Can a single-cheek ass get anal poisoning?

    Posted by  on  05/26  at  02:29 PM
  28. Does the Boodha indulge endlessly in obvious, DailyKOS-style ressentiment?

    When B’s trying to obtain tenure, appear PC, flatter publishers, lit-chicks, B. might.

    Posted by Ezra Hound  on  05/26  at  03:16 PM
  29. Further to 24 (now that John Yoo has joined in): Sonia Sotomayor cannot be confirmed because she is not the “intellectually-deep” liberal counterpointt to Antonin Scalia whom we would oppose even more vociferously.

    This whole nomination is depressing me; she is not my favorite choice for a number of reasons (almost none of them inline with faux Republican ones), but can’t stand the company. And the sometimes wankerific side of Jonathan Turley is coming out very strongly on this one.

    Posted by  on  05/26  at  03:17 PM
  30. And never mind the last four comments, you need to get “I’m on a branch line of the Lyon Train and have no control whatsoever over my destiny” put on a T-shirt.  Hilarity will ensue.

    Never mind the Lyon Train, I want to know how mds slipped a comment into that old thread as well.  Oh, no.  Wait.  It can’t be . . . it’s coming from inside the blog!

    That one is for all you lit-chicks out there.  Am I right, ladies, or am I right?

    Posted by Michael  on  05/26  at  04:43 PM
  31. Law-babes wield a bit more power, eh.  Homegrrl Sonia, in da house wit’ MC Ba-rack! Representin’ y’all. Actually SS has at times stated she believes in traditional, i.e. secular interpretation of the Constitution. That in itself probably offends Don Scalia and cronies.

    Posted by Ezra Hound  on  05/27  at  02:50 PM
  32. Rovian koanz on Ivy League smarts (be a reader):

    Rove - “She is competent and will be confirmed….She has an interesting and compelling life story…”

    Charlie - “She is very smart.”

    Rove “Not necessarily.”

    Charlie - “What do you mean? She went to Princeton where she graduating with honors and then went on to Yale Law School….”

    Rove- “I know lots of stupid people who went to Ivy League schools.” The crowd applauds.

    Rove’s dismissal of Ivy League attendance is ironic considering that in an interview previewing the debate, he cited George W. Bush’s experience at Harvard and Yale to mock claims that Bush is stupid. “The myth was that this guy, who was a Yale history grad and a Harvard MBA, was not smart,” Rove told the Chicago Tribune. In December 2008, Rove also touted Bush’s time at Harvard and Yale in a Wall Street Journal column, writing, “You don’t make it through either unless you are a reader.”

    Posted by  on  05/28  at  06:06 AM

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