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Mister Answer Man:  Special Nawlins Edition!

Hello again sports fans!  It’s time for another visit from Mister Answer Man.  You’ve got questions, he’s got answers—that’s why he’s called ... oh, hell, you know the drill by now.  To the mailbag:

Dear Mister Answer Man: I would open this letter by flattering your prodigious prognosticating skills, but I expect that you’re tired of hearing that sort of thing by now.  After all, six straight correct Super Bowl picks, some of them uncannily accurate—it’s routine to you, I’m sure, but it remains totally awesome to us mortals.  So I won’t bore you by telling you how much I admire you and want to be you.  Instead, I’m going to ask whether you think that maybe, just this once, you could reconsider your position on the fleur-de-lis.  Five years ago, you famously wrote,

my research shows that the fleur-de-lis, in and of itself, is the single most enervating thing you can put on a jersey.  The New Orleans Saints have great colors, but they’re wearing a Frenchy flowery thing on their heads, so it’s really no mystery why they spend January watching the playoffs on TV.  If they could just keep the jerseys, lose the “Saints” motif, and maybe rename themselves the Devils, they’d give themselves half a shot.

Well, it’s February, Mr. Answer Man, and the Saints are not huddled around the TV.  They are in the mother-loving Super Bowl at last.  They have twelve or fifteen different receivers who can score, and their running game isn’t bad either.  Don’t they finally have a chance at winning it all? —B. Hebert, Cut Off, Louisiana

Mister Answer Man replies: No.

Dear Mister Answer Man: Seriously?  How can you be so brusque and dismissive?  Aren’t you aware that quarterback Drew Brees has a long history of playing in manly black-and-gold jerseys, all the way back to his time with the Boilermakers of Purdue?  Surely if anyone can offset the deadly fleur-de-lis with a sufficiently virile, masculine performance, Drew Brees can!  —J. Tiller, West Lafayette, Indiana

Mister Answer Man replies: You people just don’t get it, do you?  All right, I’m going to post that Québec Nordiques jersey again:

See?  See what I’m talking about?  Powder blue jerseys and rings of fleurs-de-lis.  And who’s wearing ‘em?  Adam Foote, Joe Sakic, and Peter Forsberg—three totally awesome players.  How many Cups did they win in Québec?  That’s right, none.  Indeed, the 1994-95 team also included Owen Nolan, Mike Ricci, Scott Young, Valeri Kamensky, and Wendel Clark.  That’s a scary good lineup.  And they didn’t make it past the first round of the playoffs.  And at least they made the playoffs for a change!  Just look at Sakic’s career

With deadly fleur-de-lis (1988-95): 234 goals, 392 assists, 626 points—and only 12 playoff games (two six-game losses).

Without deadly fleur-de-lis (1996-2009): 391 goals, 624 assists, 1015 points, two Stanley Cups, 160 playoff games.

Clearly, Sakic was the same hall-of-fame player in Québec City that he was with the Colorado Avalanche.  He even had much of the same lineup playing alongside him.  So what accounts for his postseason success in Denver and total epic fail in Québec?

How many times do I have to say it?

Dear Mister Answer Man: But, but, but ... it’s not as if the Indianapolis Colts have very manly jerseys either.  I mean, actually, they’re kind of boring, don’t you think? —F. de Saussure, Geneva, Switzerland

Mister Answer Man replies: See here, Monsieur de Saussure, if that is your real name, it’s not a question of whether a jersey is manly “in itself.” It’s a relational thing—though I don’t expect you to understand this.  See, in my system, there are no “positive terms.” It all depends on a system of “difference,” where each jersey takes its place in a larger signifying system.  Thus, as I pointed out last year, even the red-and-yellow-wearing Kansas City Chiefs were able to defeat the Minnesota Vikings in 1970 because the Vikings (as advanced uniform science research has shown) wore the most beatable Super Bowl jerseys ever—just masculine enough to get there, but not nearly masculine enough to play competitively once they got there.  And in response to the question of how the beaujolais-and-prosecco-wearing 49ers could have won five Super Bowls, I replied,

If you’re asking whether I’m forgetting a dynasty that defeated (1) a team with stripy orange “tiger” helmets, (2) a team wearing aquamarine and orange, (3) see (1), (4) a team wearing orange (55-10!), and (5) a powder-blue team pretending to be a midnight-blue scary-lightning team, no, no I’m not.  Now, I don’t mean to belittle your epoch-defining victories in the NFC playoffs throughout the 90s, in which you handily defeated more mightily-attired teams with your “West Coast offense” and your frosty champagne helmets.  But seriously, your Super Bowl opponents might as well have been wearing bathrobes.  And in Super Bowl XXIV, they basically were.

The Colts’ uniform, which you consider boring, is what famed head coach and former cornerback Roland Barthes once called “jersey degree zero”: two colors, two shoulder stripes, no piping, no embellishments.  It is a jersey that emphasizes playmaking precision and error-free football.  The Saints’ jersey, by contrast, is out to have a good time: it’s exciting, dynamic, and bold ... and will induce two New Orleans fumbles all by itself.

Still, even those fumbles will not doom the Saints, because their color scheme is just so kickin’.  They will, in fact, have the lead at halftime, just as the Jets did; and in the second half, the hidden weaknesses of their secondary will gradually be revealed to them, just as the Jets’ were.  And then, painfully, in the fourth quarter the fleur-de-lis will work its baleful magic, and the Saints will wind up on the wrong end of a 34-23 score. 

Dear Mister Answer Man: I can’t believe you’re rooting for a Wonder Bread noncity like Indianapolis against the long-suffering French-and-funkified capital of the Black Atlantic.  What the hell is wrong with you?  Though I suppose that if I got to ask, I ain’t never gonna know. —L. Armstrong, Corona, Queens

Mister Answer Man replies: Mr. Armstrong, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good; oh Moloch, please don’t let me be misunderstood.  When kickoff time comes, I’m going to be sitting with a crawfish po’ boy and a frosty mug of Blackened Voodoo, screaming for the Aints to avenge 42 years of profound suckitude and all-around futility and bring a championship home to the ancient town of Marie Laveau, Professor Longhair, and Peyton Manning.  But you don’t mess around with wearing a fleur-de-lis in a contact sport.  You just don’t.

I wish I were Mister Hope-Against-Hope Man or Mister Cheerful-Delusion Man.  But I’m not. I am Mister Answer Man. And the Answer to this Super Bowl question is, I’m afraid, clear and unambiguous.  Enjoy anyway, everyone!

Posted by on 02/04 at 05:20 AM
  1. The fleur-de-lis is an iris by any other name.  And a team that wears an iris emblazoned on their uniforms is teh uncool.  I am however a tiny bit concerned about the horseshoe applied to the helmet of the team from the heart of the Midwest.  As i recall they were once beaten in a Superbowl by a ragtag team of Jets, and we know that when you’re a jet you’re a jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  07:00 AM
  2. I am however a tiny bit concerned about the horseshoe applied to the helmet of the team from the heart of the Midwest.

    Indeed, given their unsustainable large-scale farmin’ ways, I’m pretty sure that the only actual Colt most Hoosiers are familiar with is the one they take to church in a concealed-carry holster.  But dadgumit, Indiana is real America.  And real America means Jesus rode that dinosaur with a cowboy saddle.

    Anyway, I don’t think the Québec Nordiques jersey is particularly helpful in establishing anything about the Saints.  It’s Québec.  Whiny pretend French vs. badass pretend French?  It is analogous to a comparison of one type of fruit to another type of fruit, without controlling for the intrinsic differences between the fruits in question.

    I wish I were Mister Hope-Against-Hope Man or Mister Cheerful-Delusion Man.  But I’m not.

    O RLY?

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  09:24 AM
  3. You know who else thought the Québecois were whiny pretend French?  Hitler, that’s who.

    Posted by Mister Answer Man, O Yes I Am  on  02/04  at  09:56 AM
  4. The Saints’ jersey, by contrast, is out to have a good time: it’s exciting, dynamic, and bold

    History tells me to wager on the team with players out to have a good time.

    I: Max Magee has two TD receptions with a crushing hangover after a sleepless night of boozing and nailing stewardesses.

    III: Broadway Joe prepares for the Big Game by talking smack and nailing stewardesses--poolside in Miami!

    XI: Ken Stabler coins the phrase “Hero Sandwich”.

    XX: Jim McMahon leads an impromptu parade down Bourbon Street culminating with dropping his pants and mooning a chase helicopter.

    XXIX, XXX: Prime Time!

    XXXV: Giants coach Jim Fassel institutes a strict bed check policy for the Big Game. Ravens are led by Hurricane Ray Lewis, who already proved he knows how to party at a SuperBowl.

    XXXIII would be the exception which proves the rule (Eugene Robinson gets busted for soliciting a prostitute in the wee hours of of the morning of the Big Game). 

    Indy looks like a good team, but you can’t argue with History.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  11:16 AM
  5. Mr. Answer Man:

    Fine, as far as it goes.  But I need to know whether they will cover the spread.  My children’s college education may be riding on it.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  11:44 AM
  6. Nashe, it appears that the spread is 4.5, so I’m hoping for your children’s sake that your money is on the Horseshoe Helmet team.  The real problem is the over/under, which, I’ve just learned, is 56.5 or 57.  Clearly, my pick is of no help on that one.

    Ed, I dunno—looks to me you’ve got a mere handful of party animals out of 43 big games.  And c’mon, Magee and McMahon didn’t even have opponents in their Super Bowls.

    Posted by It's Mister Answer Man to You  on  02/04  at  12:21 PM
  7. You know who else thought the Québecois were whiny pretend French?

    “I cannot emphasize enough how much I admire the Québecois and their plucky defiance of the British Commonwealth’s boot, especially the unabashed manner in which they flaunt the fleur-de-lis.  How lucky for our plans that the surrender monkeys over here lack the spirit of their distant brethren! ... I hope this note finds you well, and I look forward to your next visit to the Berghof.  Though I agree: I do sometimes hover around little Uschi as if I were an autogyro.”

    --A. Hitler, Undated Letter to Herta Schneider

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  12:25 PM
  8. The First Amendment protects more than just the individual on a soapbox and the lonely pamphleteer. - John “Holmes” Roberts

    Peyton Manning leads the Colts to a victory in the 4th quarter in a close, exciting game with lots of timeouts.

    This careful consideration convinces me that Congress violates the First Amendment when it decrees that some speakers may not engage in prognosticative speech at SuperBowl time, when it matters most. - John “Johnson” Roberts

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  12:28 PM
  9. When someone quotes Hitler’s undated letter to Herta Schneider the thread is over.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  01:17 PM
  10. I believe a little bit of research will reveal the truth, that the so-called New Orleans Saints are not, in fact, playing for or representing “the ancient town of Marie Laveau, Professor Longhair, and” some other guy.

    They are playing--and in deadly earnest--for the House of Bourbon-Orléans, specifically this guy. You can tell by the fleurs-de-lis. Should they win, the EU could fall to a new wave of royalist fanaticism.

    That’s why I am rooting for Baltimore the other team.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  01:21 PM
  11. "9.When someone quotes Hitler’s undated letter to Herta Schneider the thread is over.”

    Ach, so the thread has ‘jumped the Fuhrer’?

    captcha: a simultaneously liberating and overwhelming “are.” What the hell are I supposed to do with that?

    Laissez les bons temps rouler!

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  01:40 PM
  12. Dear MAM:

    Since your biased endorsement of the Colts--and by extension, all things motorsport--clearly aligns you with the corporate overlords, I’m wondering when this humble blog will be sucked into the media powerhouse that is OCNN.

    Posted by J. Fisher  on  02/04  at  01:46 PM
  13. Ach, so the thread has ‘jumped the Fuhrer’?

    Let’s just say we are all Inglourious Basterds now.

    Oh, right, and before I forget, I for one welcome our new Ochocinco Corporate Overlords.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  01:59 PM
  14. Go VIKINGS!!

    (what?)

    And of course the captcha is “earlier.”

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  03:00 PM
  15. Ed, I dunno—looks to me you’ve got a mere handful of party animals out of 43 big games.  And c’mon, Magee and McMahon didn’t even have opponents in their Super Bowls.

    Dude, like, whatevs. More:

    XVII, XXII: Riggo, The Fun Bunch
    XXVII, XXVIII, XXX: Michael Irvin
    XXXVII: Warren Sapp

    and last but certainly by no means least,
    VII, VIII: Garabed Sarkis “Garo” Yepremian

    It is unwise to bet against The Party People in the Super Bowl.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  03:35 PM
  16. Joe Namath threw as many TDs in Super Bowl III as I did.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  04:29 PM
  17. Joe Namath threw as many TDs in Super Bowl III as I did.

    You know who else threw as many TDs in Super Bowl III? That’s right, you got it…

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  04:46 PM
  18. Back in the day when our local “news” paper still hosted “columns” these franchises were perennial rulers of the Bottom Ten, the Dolts and the Aints. Look away for a mere two decades and things sure change.

    Captcha: glass. Half empty, darkly.

    Posted by  on  02/04  at  05:19 PM
  19. I am not sure what a Pro Bowler is, unless the term refers to a bowler who has become professional.  Apparently #85 is one.

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  06:39 AM
  20. Not necessarily because I wouldn’t mind seeing the Saints win, but since you’re not using it, can I be Mr. Cheerful-Delusion Man?

    Posted by Gary Oxford  on  02/05  at  11:12 AM
  21. Mr. Oxford Cheerful-Delusion Man, it’s all yours.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/05  at  11:15 AM
  22. You know, I really think being stuck in the house for the next 4-5 days during Snowpocalypse 2010 with 2 boys, ages 8 and 7 and both with ADHD, will be a great family bonding experience.

    Posted by Mr. Cheerful-Delusion Man  on  02/05  at  12:24 PM
  23. I’d love to see you find anything remotely resembling a crawfish poboy in the middle of Pennsylvania. Maybe a cheesesteak with cocktail sauce.

    In the meantime, I’m going to fire up a pot of gumbo, slice up a king cake, and watch the Saints roll to victory on Sunday.

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  12:35 PM
  24. France is back in. Have you heard of the band Phoenix? Or Air?

    The Saints will win b/c God is no longer mad at New Orleans. Haiti has taken its place b/c of their abortion and gay marriage laws.

    Speaking of gays, I was impressed with the chairmain of the Joint Chiefs eloquent words about a change of policy. Yes we can, nutsroots!

    Posted by Peter K.  on  02/05  at  12:52 PM
  25. Why all the snide allusions when answering questions from dead French guys?  And what does your deconstruction of the N.Y. Rangers’ jersey reveal about their chances of winning a Stanley Cup this year?

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  01:43 PM
  26. In the case of the Nordiques’ jerseys, are you sure it was the fleur-de-lis, and not the anti-macho unthreatening abstract symbol, which as far as I can tell is apparently either the European street sign symbol for children’s playground with a slide, or an character in some Quebecois animated childrens television progam?

    Though I have to admit, historically, the Bourbons seemed to be mostly all the downhill end of French power (no Charlemagne in that bunch!), with the most notable reversal in that slide coming during a period when the Bourbons were, um, exploring alternate employment opportunities.

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  03:45 PM
  27. To me that Nordiques anti-macho symbol looks like an elephant trying to play hockey with its trunk.

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  04:16 PM
  28. Based on Mr. Answer Man’s track record and the old adage that past performance dictates future returns, I have made a large investment in the team that wears jerseys degree zero. Two things that trouble me about this investment are: I don’t really like the team I have invested in, and the investment is too big to fail.

    What are the odds of a bailout in the unlikely event that you are wrong, Mr. Answer Man?

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  04:52 PM
  29. I’m not going to stoop to accusing Mr. Answer Man of being either naive or evil. I’m just saying he’s wrong. I predict a knock-out hit on P. Manning in the first quarter, and a laugher after that.

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  05:26 PM
  30. I have delusion!  Nawlins for the win, I’m telling you.

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  09:13 PM
  31. I’m also guessing that the Who’s halftime show at the Super Bowl will be fresh and exciting.

    Posted by Mr. Cheerful-Delusion Man  on  02/05  at  09:26 PM
  32. Anybody think we can persuade Henry Winkler to don the skis once more and jump over a reasonable facsimile of Adolph H?

    Now that would be something.

    e

    captca “action” I kid you not

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  09:44 PM
  33. I propose a toast to the Spanish Quarter of Nawlins, because it too deserves ridicule and snark. 

    As for the Who half time show: when the general public can pick the five songs they play, i suspect fresh and exciting are out?

    Posted by  on  02/05  at  10:11 PM
  34. i suspect fresh and exciting are out?

    That depends on what you mean by “fresh and exciting.” I’m counting on a set consisting of “Boris the Spider,” “Odorono,” “Young Man Blues,” “The Dirty Jobs,” and “Blue Red and Grey.” And I’ve got a lot of money riding on this.

    Posted by Mister Answer Man, O Yes I Am  on  02/06  at  11:25 AM
  35. You’re exactly right! Only they are going to use some alternative names for those songs.

    “We’re kinda doing a mashup of stuff,” the guitarist tells Billboard. “A bit of ‘Baba O’Riley,’ a bit of ‘Pinball Wizard,’ a bit of the close of ‘Tommy,’ a bit of ‘Who Are You,’ and a bit of ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again.’ It works—it’s quite a saga.

    My names for those songs are: “Armenia City in The Sky”, “Call me Lightning”, “5.15”, “The Magic Bus” and “My Generation” (bet we’ll actually get quick snatch of that last one).

    Posted by  on  02/06  at  11:50 AM
  36. If those gits do “Boris the Spider” without me, I’ll make sure the next child pornography charges against Townshend hold up.

    Captcha - “british”

    Posted by Zombie John Entwistle  on  02/06  at  12:30 PM
  37. Creepy crawly, creepy crawly… but no A Quick One While He Was Away?  Sadly i do think JP is correct with his quote from Peter, though it is not all bad; it is just that hearing Who Are You is too reminiscent of some television productions that appear on CBS.

    Posted by  on  02/06  at  10:38 PM
  38. Oh, all right, Ivar, because you asked nicely.

    Posted by Mister Answer Man  on  02/07  at  12:30 AM
  39. What I’d really like to see at halftime is females covering the various Who songs. So Patti Smith’s “My Generation”* and Petra Haden’s “Armenia City in the Sky”. I frustratingly cannot find the latter online, but here she is doing “Odorono”.

    *I happened to be at the show where this was recorded--The Agora, Cleveland, 1976--so not quite the video of really old folks singing it, but almost.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  11:45 AM
  40. NYT imitates snark: “Saints Aren’t the First to Call on Fleur Power”

    Defensive end Bobby McCray said: “It’s not like all the other logos in the N.F.L., like a simple animal or something like that. This is pretty distingué, as we say back home.”

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  01:21 PM
  41. @14:

    Go VIKINGS!!

    (what?)

    You mean this? And here’s the communal suffering version.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  06:26 PM
  42. Well, at least the Saints have kept it close in the first half.

    The advertisers have really upped the ante this year on the woman-hating ads. Yes, even more so than in previous years. Very much more so. Ads focusing on how women steal men’s spines (remedied with a palm TV so you can watch the game while your woman drags you out shopping), how awful and soul-crushing it is for a man to be in a relationship with a woman (remedied by a penis-enlarging sports car).

    In years past, the woman-hating has at least attempted to be more subtle. This year, they ain’t even trying. Ha, ha, ha. Bashing women is soooo funny.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  09:09 PM
  43. Wow, that Peter Townshend guy must be clairvoyant! He got it exactly right.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  09:16 PM
  44. I am really shocked at the women bashing going on.  Commercial after commercial promoting men and men based products; who came up with these ideas?

    And the allegedly-real Who?  I guess the best i can say is that the two of them are old, and i am old, and we old men just don’t have it like we used to.  At least the punk revolutionary message came across in Baba.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  09:17 PM
  45. Good game though.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  09:38 PM
  46. Actually a very good game, except of course for that INT.  Fleur-de-lis wins; the curse of the first year coach continues; and toughness on both sides of the ball rose to the challenge.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  10:51 PM
  47. I switched channels during most commercials (the Audi one with the Green Police was kind of funny though). Looks like Mr. Answer Man ran out of answers smile

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  10:52 PM
  48. Hey, now, Professor h., please note that he doesn’t go by “Mr. Correct Answer Man.”

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  11:23 PM
  49. I was only half listening but at I didn’t think I heard the term “mancave”. Which to me might be small sign of cultural progress.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  11:24 PM
  50. Mistah Answer Man, he dead.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/07  at  11:34 PM
  51. And there was much rejoicing.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/07  at  11:35 PM
  52. Except that the women in the household were kinda pissed at the number of ads whose writers and “creative” directors assumed that (a) no women were watching the Super Bowl or that (b) if they were, fuck ‘em!  Woot!

    Posted by Michael  on  02/07  at  11:37 PM
  53. And I have to add, on a personal note, that the official teevee Nance-n-Simms commentary has totally failed to capture and express the world-historical holy-mother-of-Molochical you-surely-must-be-shitting-meical and utterly apocalypse-harbingerical nature of a Super Bowl won (handily and deservedly!) by the New Orleans Mother-Loving and Onside-Kicking-It Saints.

    I do not believe that I have lived to see this day.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/07  at  11:42 PM
  54. Europe as we know it is doomed.

    Posted by  on  02/07  at  11:59 PM
  55. Michael @53: I think the TV talking heads were too much in a state of shock to keep up with the current event of the Colts not winning. It was a lost opportunity for some on-air great greatness, that. It’s the ability to capture those rare sports miracle moments that can make an announcer’s words “immortal”. Too bad they couldn’t un-slack their jaws in time to grab that brass ring.

    (a) no women were watching the Super Bowl or that (b) if they were, fuck ‘em!  Woot!

    My very thoughts exactly.

    Oh, and it’s the Bills winning that freezes hell over, not the Saints.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  12:20 AM
  56. It definitely was funny to hear the announcers - there for P. Manning coronation as the greatest thing since sliced bread - stumble about…

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  12:41 AM
  57. Nance-n-Simms commentary has totally failed to capture and express

    Well there is one thing worse, hearing Chris “Boomer” Berman trying to make the case.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  12:51 AM
  58. That’s because Chris “Boomer” Berman is a Cylon.  And I have our critique of BattleStation Galactica Season One all ready to go.  Just saying.

    In the meantime, Who Dat?

    Posted by Michael  on  02/08  at  12:57 AM
  59. i didn’t come by to gloat @ mr. answer man, nosiree, i came to say that letterman/oprah/leno spot was hilarious.

    Posted by skippy  on  02/08  at  01:08 AM
  60. Who Dat indeedy! What a happy day for this Pats fan when a Manning brother looooooooses!  As a female football fan I have to add my $.02 and a giant WTF about those Moloch-awful commercials. Seriously, What. The. Fuck?! Even my kids (10 and 7) were put off by them.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  01:33 AM
  61. And I have our critique of BattleStation Galactica Season One all ready to go.

    Ahhh… Part Deux in the Delayed Berubination Effect series. Well fine. But I’m dead serious here - don’t even think about posting that thing unless it addresses my chief Season 1 concern and irritant: the John McCain doppelgänger starring as Second in Command Dude. Got it? Good.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  02:59 AM
  62. Great game. Great outcome. Awful production in every other way.

    Anyone know how to get in touch with Geithner and Bernanke?

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  08:16 AM
  63. Oh, and it’s the Bills winning that freezes hell over,

    The Super Bowl is held in the wintertime.  Buffalo is usually frozen over then.

    Hmm, I wonder if all the misogyny in the ads just made the “sissy” fleurs-de-lis really pissed off.  It would serve those horseguns of Indiana right.

    And here’s hoping that Nate Silver can perform some more of his reality-warping numerology, and turn this into a repudiation of the “Gott Mit Uns” crowd at the Tea Party Patriot Party of Patriotism.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  09:56 AM
  64. "Who Dat!” forever ruined for me due to its constant enthusiastic repetition by Georgia* fans during a 1982 New Year’s holiday ski trip at Snowshoe in West Virginia. Even though Pitt came through beating Herschel Walker and the Dawgs (making January 2nd a nice quiet day on the slopes), the memory still rankles.

    *Did not see Georgia mentioned in the “history” of the “cheer”; it may have been completely derivative.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  10:01 AM
  65. Condolences to all affected adversely by the untimely demise of Mister Answer Man. Heck, it was just the Super Bowl.  It wasn’t like he missed something important like the Stanley Cup.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  11:41 AM
  66. don’t even think about posting that thing unless it addresses my chief Season 1 concern and irritant: the John McCain doppelgänger starring as Second in Command Dude.

    Oh, the bald old white guy with the gravelly voice and the temper problem?  I didn’t notice any resemblance to McCain.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/08  at  12:39 PM
  67. Oh, and it’s the Bills winning that freezes hell over,

    And if the Browns win ... oops, that result is inconceivable within our current understanding of physics.

    But I will now embark on a brief PTSLD-fueled “you kids get off my lawn” rant triggered by arguably the most successful pro football franchise of all time being singled out as the butt of football failure jokes in part due to heinous ahistorical decisions made by the misogyny-mongering NFL in their frenzy to promote the debased spectacle* of the Super Bowl exhibition game. For instance this bit of humbugism: After the 1970 AFL–NFL merger and the emergence of the Super Bowl, all NFL league championship games prior to merger are listed along with the NFC conference championship games in the NFL’s official records. Or the lack of any respect for the AAFC which was more competitive with the NFL in its day (in attendance and on the field) than the AFL. The Brown won all 4 championships in that league, thrashed the defending champion Eagles 35-10 in their first NFL game (a specially-arranged night game that had build up like the Super Bowl), dramatically won the NFL championship that year 30-28 over the LA Rams (who had won the NFL title in 1945 in their last year in Cleveland), and then went on to be in the the NFL championship game the next 5 years. So 10 years in a row in the championship game of their league, winning 7 (undoubtedly the best pro team in each of those years--NFL dodged repeated attempts to have a Super Bowl-type game) and they get squatto in historical respect because they weren’t “Super” Bowls. And Avatar is way more popular than Gone With the Wind. Ok, I’m through.

    I blame Nancy Pelosi.

    *OK, this year’s game was pretty good.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  02:30 PM
  68. Oh, the bald old white guy with the gravelly voice and the temper problem?  I didn’t notice any resemblance to McCain.

    That’s because Colonel Tigh is aware of his own shortcomings.

    Posted by  on  02/08  at  02:50 PM
  69. I guess the best i can say is that the two of them are old, and i am old, and we old men just don’t have it like we used to.  good looking loser

    Posted by  on  09/29  at  02:58 PM

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