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Conservatives denounce gay marriage, Mars mission

From “Bush’s Push for Marriage Falls Short for Conservatives,” David D. Kirkpatrick, New York Times, January 15, 2004:

Some major conservative Christian groups said yesterday that they were pleased but not satisfied by a new White House initiative to promote marriage, and they stepped up pressure on President Bush to champion a constitutional amendment prohibiting same-sex marriage in his State of the Union speech next week.

“This is like lobbing a snowball at a forest fire,” said Sandy Rios, president of Concerned Women of America, one of the largest conservative Christian advocacy groups. “This administration is dancing dangerously around the issue of homosexual marriage.”

Responding to conservative critics of the Bush administration, the Mixed Metaphor Association of America suggested that Rios’s remarks left Americans with a “thoroughly unclear” image of the threat posed by homosexuals.  “Gay marriage is like a forest fire, right, we got that part,” said Buster Poindexter, general secretary of the association.  “But then the administration is ‘dancing around’ it?  Exactly how big is this forest fire, anyway?  Is it one of those ‘raging’ things, or is it maybe just a campfire?  And where does the snow come from?  Did gays and lesbians build a campfire in the snow?  These are not idle questions.  Ordinary Americans need to know whether gays and lesbians are raging or just camping.”

In a related development, a spokesman for the Family Research Council today denounced President Bush’s plans for a manned mission to Mars later in this century.  Reginald Dwight, associate vice chair of the Council, said at a news conference that manned space exploration of the kind proposed by Bush would contribute to the deterioration of the American family.  “Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids,” said Dwight.  “In fact, it’s cold as hell.  And there’s no one there to raise them, if you did.” Asked whether the Council would eventually support civil unions on Mars or perhaps one of the gaseous outer planets, Dwight replied, “I think it’s gonna be a long long time” before Christian conservatives would be willing to consider gay and lesbian rights anywhere in the known solar system.

Posted by on 01/15 at 05:21 AM

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