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Putting the blame where it belongs

If only you gay men and lesb***ns hadn’t gone traipsing around the country, tra la la la la, pledging your eternal troth to each other and defiling the most sacred institution in American life; if only you smug secular evolutionists-- yes, I’m looking at you, PZ-- hadn’t pushed your vile descent-from-monkeys doctrine on the innocent Christian children of this nation; if only you millionaire trial lawyers hadn’t used up all the flu vaccine, driving up the price of gas; and if only you liberal-elite literature professors weren’t abusing the privilege of freedom of speech, mocking God in your little “blogs” and sneering at good hardworking people who are just trying to put up some decent resistance to the radical gay-evolutionist-lawyer-lit-professor agenda, then maybe we would be celebrating a great democratic victory today.

But as it is, thanks to all you blasphemers and narcissists, the only thing we can say to the GOP this morning is, all right, do your worst-- you know you want to! Welcome, Senator Bunning.  Welcome, Senator DeMint.  Welcome, Senator Coburn.  Welcome, Senator Martinez.  Welcome, Senator Burr.  A most hearty welcome to Senator Thune.  And let me be the first to welcome Justices Pickering and Owen to the highest court in the land!

UPDATE:  I’m so sorry I lost all the terrific comments on this post when the blog went down for the second time this week.  The only one I could salvage was Doghouse Riley’s, because it got itself quoted on another blog.  And you can’t find a better summation of the Second Bush’s Second Term:

How about Do your best! STFU and start governing? You’ve had effective control of both Houses for almost twenty-five years now, and when you couldn’t swipe the presidential election from a Democrat you tied the country in knots over $40,000 land deals and blow jobs. I want pornography off my teevee tomorrow! I want Jesus back in the public schools, assuming we’re still gonna have any. Get the illegals out of my country. I want my Big Mac prepared by lovely white people. Who’s writing the Sodomy Amendment? Why isn’t Annie Jacobson head of the FAA? Why am I still paying taxes? State lotteries make Baby Jesus cry. Get US out of UN. How many caribou do we need to look at? Why is my water pressure so erratic? Kindly get busy.

UPDATED UPDATE:  No, found another one.  Here’s Chris Robinson’s comment:

The best theocracy money can buy.

Posted by on 11/03 at 01:53 AM
  1. I’m with you Michael. If I’d watch TV I would want to see Jesus and no porn. Hell, what’s TV for if it’s not to get a great shot of Jesus overturning the money tables or sticking up for some debauched sister ? But here’s the good news: God or Jesus is sick of Mr. Bush and wrecked havoc with this crazy tsunami in south east Asia.

    Listen up folks! 50,000 plus dead! It don’t get any worse than that. You remember the flood and all that? God’s wrath. HE don’t like what George Bush is doing. Why did he take it out on a bunch of Muslim innocents? The man works in mysterious ways-but, take it from me, He is not happy with Mr. Bush!

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