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One million readers!

Barring some horrible technical disaster (and this blog has experienced only four of those to date), tomorrow, April 6, 2005, we will receive our millionth visitor.  Yeah, I know some of you have been back more than once, but you know what I mean.  Don’t forget, the millionth visitor wins a copy of this book, so if you stop by and find that my site meter reads 1000000, just let me know.  In light of recent events (cough, cough, hack) the millionth visitor should probably be given a North Carolina Tar Heels coffee mug as well, but we’ll just have to see about that.

And to celebrate this momentous occasion, I think I’ll spend tomorrow morning writing a happy, warm and fuzzy post that everyone will love.  I can’t decide whether to title it “Puppies:  Why Are They So Cute?” or “Are Some Dolphins Really Magical?” But I’ll sleep on it, because that’s what sleep is for!  See you all tomorrow!

Posted by on 04/05 at 10:30 PM
  1. Wow.  It’s at 997634.  I only have to keep clicking for another...um...math time...uh...2366 times.  I can do it!

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  12:13 AM
  2. Congratulations (prospectively)! I will check back tomorrow to see whether you go for the puppies or the dolphins. Perhaps you could do a combined post for maximum shamelessness: “Magic Dolphins and their Adorable Puppy Friends.”

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  12:43 AM
  3. Some dolphins are, um, magical.  Links NSFW, by the way.

    So, with that question answered, you have to blog about puppies.

    Posted by bitchphd  on  04/06  at  01:40 AM
  4. Oh shit, those links didn’t translate.  Ok, well, they were to various dolphin-shaped sex toys.

    God it sucks when internet jokes fall flat.

    Posted by bitchphd  on  04/06  at  01:42 AM
  5. Dolphin shaped sex toys? Good God, that’s worse than those creepy beavers and bunnies on vibrators.

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  02:29 AM
  6. hmmm, I’ll try not to spoil everything by being the millionth visitor. That would really be anti-climatic.

    Thanks for featuring a book of mine on this special occasion, Michael. Kind of you indeed.

    Posted by Idelber  on  04/06  at  03:25 AM
  7. all I know is that your blog makes me happy, and it makes me laugh. Therefore, when my u of a english class was asked to write about a series of blogs and i discovered yours in the list to chose from, my personal opinion on all of them were rather harsh and unforgiving, but you were titled as “my new hero”.  I love your family, they are great, and keep writing entertaining things! =)

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  04:28 AM
  8. That’s OK, Dr. B., I thought the links were hilarious.  But then, “Miva Merchant has encountered a fatal error and is unable to continue” always cracks me up.  I don’t know why.  Pirate flags also give me the church giggles, just fyi.

    Thanks, aja—and everyone.  Now, back to work on “fluffy puppies riding magical dolphins to Happyland.”

    Posted by Michael  on  04/06  at  07:47 AM
  9. Why look, here’s a spare UNC mug right here on my desk! (But it touts the swimming and diving team--the really hardcore athletes on any campus.) Happy to chip in for said mill-mark visitor.

    Thanks for writing and hosting this blog, Michael. Your essays are sanity savers, mind sharpeners, and gut busters--frequently all at one time.

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  08:49 AM
  10. Just my luck! I have to leave for a conference today, when I might be reloading and commenting for free books.  It’s a good thing I didn’t need the coffee mug.

    I’ll second sian’s compliments. I’m not a blogoholic: I only read 2 blogs per day, and yours is one them. 

    I’m just sorry that you appear to be so rabidly anti-Tar Heel.

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  08:55 AM
  11. 998799

    I’ll be baahhhk

    Posted by Patrick ONeill  on  04/06  at  08:55 AM
  12. I’m looking for the: “But,wait, there’s more!” And then the inevitable set of Ginsu knives and a pocket fisherman.  For the two millioneth visitor, I have an Andy Bathgate autographed stick to contribute.

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  09:24 AM
  13. ”.. so if you stop by and find that my site meter reads 1000000, just let me know.”

    Yes. The internets and the honor system are such a good mix! Let me be the first to say I’m the millionth visitor.


    Posted by  on  04/06  at  09:56 AM
  14. The book is on its way, Excon.  You see, I’m extremely gullible.

    Posted by Michael  on  04/06  at  10:25 AM
  15. Dang. Is this going to be a new tradition? It looks like I’m going to hit my millionth visitor soon, too.

    I wonder what piece of crap on my bookshelf I can foist off on some unsuspecting visitor…

    (not to imply that your choice of a book is a white elephant, just that I‘d be tempted to do something callous like that.)

    Posted by PZ Myers  on  04/06  at  10:30 AM
  16. congrats on one million readers! Can I have the mug? LOL!

    Posted by dr. b.  on  04/06  at  10:39 AM
  17. So this is where all the internet traffic has been today.

    I’ve tried explaining to my dog why I can’t take her for a walk, but she’s not buying it.

    She tells me this is just a stunt on your part to increase your stats for the day. Tell me she’s lying! You can’t really rig the odometer, can you?!

    Posted by KathyF  on  04/06  at  11:13 AM
  18. But then, “Miva Merchant has encountered a fatal error and is unable to continue” always cracks me up.

    Now you’re just mocking me.  I would go have a snit, except that I’m visitor 999,875 and so I have to check back 125 more times.

    Or I would, if I didn’t have to go teach a class.

    Posted by bitchphd  on  04/06  at  12:09 PM
  19. Ooh, ooh, pick me!  I was number 1,000,000.  With a big thanks to my refresh button.

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  12:18 PM
  20. DARN!  I was the 999999th visitor...and then I was the 1000002th visitor.  Wonder who got the brass ring....

    Guess I’ll need to buy that book myself, and give up on the possibility of having my editor (shout out to ya, sian) send me a mug!

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  12:20 PM
  21. Well, I just put up today’s post, and when it loaded the site meter read 1000038.  Dang!  I was actually trying to snooker everyone into reading my reply to Eric Cohen’s Weekly Standard essay on Terri Schiavo.  OK, snag, the book is yours.  I’ll write off-blog to get the relevant info.

    Thanks for stopping by, folks—today and (almost) every day.  Now, don’t abandon me just because today’s post is over 3000 words long!

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  12:27 PM
  22. PZ, I think you ought to give away a copy of The Structure of Evolutionary Theory. That way it works as an incentive for the smart folks, and a hernia-inducer for weak-spined creationists. It’s win-win!

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  04/06  at  12:28 PM
  23. Damn-almost 200 visitors in 15 minutes.  Left at 865, return to find I’m 48 too late!!

    Now as penance for my greed, I guess I have to read the long essay.

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  12:35 PM
  24. I don’t want to derail the comment section of the subsequent post, so let me just ask here:  Is it possible for the sentence “This blog will never write about puppies and dolphins.” to appear in a blog and be true?  Would Godel be upset?  Or does the use/mention distinction save us here?

    Posted by Sean  on  04/06  at  01:32 PM
  25. Sean, you’re probably tired of humanities professors abusing Godel, but we eagerly invite physics professors to have fun with deconstruction.  The question of whether the sentence “This blog will never write about puppies and dolphins” constitutes writing about puppies and dolphins does indeed rely on the use/mention distinction, but, of course, as Jonathan Culler pointed out in his helpful guide to Derrida, it’s not hard to deconstruct the distinction when it comes to the difference between sentences like “some say his work is ‘boring and incompetent’” and “his work is boring and incompetent.” All I will say in my defense is that I have not, in fact, broached the questions of why puppies are so cute or whether some dolphins are magical.  (Besides, she who is known as bitch.phd. would seem to have cornered the market on discussions of the latter question.)

    Posted by Michael  on  04/06  at  01:49 PM
  26. Since I’m being mentioned in re. the dolphins & puppies thing, I’ll take license to ask if perhaps the prohibition against dolphins & puppies represents a rather narrow view of the “literary"--perhaps even one that is, pace Radway, rather sexist?

    And then I’ll point out that I have never so much as *mentioned* dolphins & puppies on my blog, thank you very much.  As if.  Only serious content over there.  Like the recent discussions of “Emma Goldman and Pamela Anderson: feminist icons.”

    Posted by bitchphd  on  04/06  at  01:59 PM
  27. Parabéns deste monoglota leitor do Idelber.

    Posted by Reginaldo Siqueira  on  04/06  at  03:16 PM
  28. I think you’re so popular because you’re such a devotee of David Hockney—you even give him his own listing in your menu bar, up there with your family and everything.

    I especially like his pictures of swimming pools. What’s your favorite?

    Posted by  on  04/06  at  05:44 PM
  29. I like his paintings of ice rinks even better, perusio2003.  And Dr. B., this blog will ever seek to uphold a narrow, sexist definition of literature!  With exuberant punctuation, no less.  Otherwise what a mess we’d be in—people would be reading romances, graphic novels, fan fiction, and other forms of sentimental ephemera.  As Derrida argued throughout his life, the margins are supposed to stay on the damn margins.

    Posted by  on  04/07  at  01:08 PM
  30. LOL.  Poor Derrida.

    Posted by bitchphd  on  04/07  at  10:39 PM
  31. "This blog will never write about puppies and dolphins”

    Hah! You just emailed me a photo of your family dog in email and you claim you don’t like puppies?  By the way, she’s adorable.

    Posted by David Ross McIrvine  on  04/08  at  10:44 PM





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