Home | Away

Bush:  Major Rescue Operations are Over

WASHINGTON — Hours after making an historic landing aboard a moving aircraft carrier in the waters of the Gulf Coast, President Bush told reporters aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln Thursday that “major rescue operations in New Orleans have ended.”

“Operation Cover Our Asses was carried out with a combination of precision, speed and boldness the American people did not expect,” Bush told a select group of Gannons standing on the flight deck. “We set up an array of emergency photo ops and Potemkin villages with a can-do spirit that dazzled the world.  I personally have hugged black people in the Gulf Coast, and the photos are now available on the White House website.”

Fox news analyst Sean Hannity praised Bush’s speech, saying, “I will say anything my leader tells to say.  That’s what a journalist is supposed to do.” Time magazine’s Blog of the Year concurred, writing, “The City of New Orleans and its residents owe the President a profound debt of gratitude for these photographs.”

A celebratory parade is scheduled on the Washington Mall for the morning of Saturday, September 10, which, according to White House press secretary Scott McClellan, will hereafter be known as “V-K Day,” for “Victory over Katrina.”

Posted by on 09/05 at 11:02 AM

  1. Nice work, but shouldn’t you have submitted it for your moonlighting work over at The Onion?

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  01:15 PM

  2. The Onion doesn’t pay like blogging does.

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  01:16 PM

  3. Quentin - the answer is no! I would have misssed it had it not been here.

    Let’s pray that so much of the this phony Administration’s backside has finally been exposed that “Operation Cover Our Asses” will be an utter failure, no matter how much the toady talking heads try to play along.

    Thank you, Michael.

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  01:21 PM

  4. "and the photos are now available on the White House website.”

    I believe those are provided gratis if you are a pioneering ranger involved in Operation Collection.  If you are not one of these highly trained and specially selected warriors, you must pay a direct fee for the photo of your choice.  I did notice that the Bush/Barbour photos were signficantly cheaper than those with Bush in front of rescue helicopters and military rescue personnel standing at parade rest in full dress uniforms.

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  02:22 PM

  5. It’s ridicule like this that only serves to undermine our government’s heroic struggle against “global weather extremism.” I hope you’re happy. You bleeding-heart liberals ought to be ashamed of yourselves for giving aid and comfort to radical hurricanes.

    Posted by gzombie  on  09/05  at  02:35 PM

  6. Flash!

    Nicholas Kristoff has just blamed feminists for not protesting about how women suffered disproportionately from Hurricane Katrina.  How dare they attack the president, who supports women’s freedom in Iraq...er, sometimes...ahem, No!  ALL THE TIME (yes, Mr. Hannity. Thank you for that (ouch) reminder).

    Posted by mitchell freedman  on  09/05  at  03:20 PM

  7. perfect, tho i offer one emendation: shouldn’t groups of gannons get their own interesting tag (like ‘murder of crows’ and such)? how about a “gloss[y] of gannons” or a “photo-spread of gannons” or even a “beefcake of gannons”?

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  03:26 PM

  8. And the Medal of Freedom will be known now as a “Brownie.”

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  04:20 PM

  9. "A grovel of gannons.”

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  06:13 PM

  10. I believe that would be a Condom of Gannons.

    But nothong will top Assrocket at Powerline.

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  08:40 PM

  11. Nothing!  Nothing!  Nothing!

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  08:52 PM

  12. “But nothong will top Assrocket at Powerline.”

    The good news:  Assrocket will definitely not be wearing a thong on his head.

    The bad news:  He might be wearing one in the usual place. And he might insist on showing us.

    Re our boy GG:  The collective noun doesn’t have to be alliterative, does it?  I mean, “a pearl necklace of Gannons” would be OK, wouldn’t it?  And so appropos, if you really think about it rasberry

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  08:55 PM

  13. Sorry, TBvHdS; I knew it was a typo but I couldn’t resist.

    Posted by  on  09/05  at  08:57 PM

  14. I keep waiting for Bush to declare: “Hurricanes hate our freedoms.”

    Posted by Ann bartow  on  09/05  at  09:17 PM

  15. Michael,

    News that should make you jump for joy: Louisiana sold back to the French.

    Fits the theme…

    Posted by Scaramouche  on  09/06  at  02:16 AM

  16. Lordy, I thought it was too soon for humor, but I was wrong.  Thanks for that, Michael.

    Posted by Tina  on  09/06  at  07:45 AM

  17. V-K day! Will a commemorative gold coin be issued? I’ve been told that gold never loses its value.

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  08:52 AM

  18. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (she chuckled)--this is working very well for them.

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  08:54 AM

  19. Hey, Grandma, you read my beautiful mind.  Check out today’s post.

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  09:09 AM

  20. ’perfect, tho i offer one emendation: shouldn’t groups of gannons get their own interesting tag (like ‘murder of crows’ and such)? how about a “gloss[y] of gannons” or a “photo-spread of gannons” or even a “beefcake of gannons”? ‘

    Such terms - pride, murder gaggle - are called venereals.  Yes.  Gannon deserves at least one.

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  09:38 AM

  21. "Hours after making an historic landing aboard a moving aircraft carrier in the waters of the Gulf Coast,”

    I was half expecting the carrier to be floating in Canal Street.

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  09:40 AM

  22. For future notice, we say “on the Mall” rather than in it, as pleasant as it is to comtemplate Bush & cronies buried up to their necks in the gravel bits.

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  06:12 PM

  23. Dang!  Silly me—I thought I’d typed “on the mall.” I’ll go fix that.  Thanks for the catch.

    By the way, the official name for the V-K / 9-11 weekend festivities will be “A Celebration of Success.”

    Posted by Michael  on  09/06  at  07:12 PM

  24. A celebratory parade is scheduled on the Washington Mall for the morning of Saturday, September 10, which, according to White House press secretary Scott McClellan, will hereafter be known as “V-K Day,” for “Victory over Katrina.”

    Why not call it K-Y day, in which the public gets greased?

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  08:35 PM

  25. So were those Black Folks given a choice - you can have a shower and a change of clothes if you’re willing to let W hug you for the cameras?  Or were they simply commandeered - you’re out on the streets if you don’t let W hug you?

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  10:39 PM

Name:

Email:

Location:

URL:

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Submit the word you see below:


Next entry: Now is not the time to play the blame game

Previous entry: Thank you, Heathers

<< Back to main