We interrupt this hiatus . . .
. . . to bring you the following urgent announcement: I did not tell Bob Woodward that Valerie Plame was an undercover CIA agent.
Over the weekend, John McGowan wrote to me about this matter, telling me that he was “uneasy” about the fact that I have never denied speaking to Woodward about Plame. When I told him that I have never spoken to Woodward about anything, John was relieved, and suggested that I take a moment to assure my loyal readers that I had no hand in disclosing Plame’s identity, or, indeed, in seeking retribution against Joseph Wilson or anyone else who, in 2002-03, doubted the Bush Administration’s claims about Saddam’s attempts to buy aluminum tubes, eat Nigerian yellowcake [update—or Nigerien yellowcake! (see comments)], develop weapons of mass destruction related program activities, or request assistance in moving fifty million dollars out of the country by means of unsolicited emails. (Not that we want to rewrite history on this blog.)
I assured John that I would do so at my first opportunity, which would be now. He replied that it might be a good idea to ask all bloggers to issue similar disavowals, so that we can use the power of the blogosphere to identify, by elimination, the person who first spoke to Woodward. So if you have a blog, won’t you please take a moment to tell the world that you didn’t have anything to do with leaking Plame’s name to Bob Woodward? I know that many of you have other things to do, but I’m kind of hoping that by the end of the week, we can narrow it down to this guy, who’s probably blogging as usual from his secret undisclosed location.
Thanks very much.
”...eat Nigerian yellowcake, develop weapons of mass destruction related program activities, or request assistance in moving fifty million dollars out of the country by means of unsolicited emails. “
I believe the yellowcake is “Nigerien”, with no “a” in it. The 50 million is “Nigerian”. I think the differnece is because Nigeria is Anglophone, colonized by English, while Niger is Francophone, colonized by Generalissimo Francisco Franco (condition stable).Posted by on 11/21 at 11:26 AM
Thanks for clearing that up, Njorl. Should I type “Nigerien” with proportional spacing, or just use the Selectric?Posted by Michael on 11/21 at 12:08 PM
I didn’t tell nobody nothing, but my former friend, who keeps dyssing me behind my back by telling rumors about something that may or may not have happened with a guy named Jeff in the back of the Press Room, said that he heard that another knee-bending sychophant name of Hadley did it. I thought Hadley’s was a nut franchise???Posted by on 11/21 at 04:21 PM
I’d do it, but then Scooter Libby would probably file a bullshit suit accusing me of perjury.Posted by bitchphd on 11/21 at 05:02 PM
I can neither confirm nor deny anything about anything while there’s an on going investigation.
Think I can get Scotty Boy’s job?Posted by on 11/21 at 05:54 PM
I’m so appreciative of your confession that there’s no need to confess that you didn’t talk to Woodward. And frankly, I’ve lost count of whether this is patriotic of you or not. So, you’re on your own. Sorry, but I can’t afford to become more involved.Posted by on 11/21 at 06:10 PM
Now that that’s been cleared up, where were you on November 23. 1963?Posted by on 11/21 at 07:43 PM
Don’t fret the mistake. As Ronald Reagan pointed out, there is a lot to learn about Southeast Asia. You’d be surprised. They’re all individual countries.Posted by on 11/21 at 11:14 PM
- Posted by A. G. Rud on 11/21 at 11:26 PM
They’re all individual countries.
Well, then, that’s your problem right there. Niger, Myanmar, Togo, Suriname—who can keep these places straight? All I know is what Reagan told me about Vietnam: the north attacked the south, and that’s why we needed to defend freedom.Posted by Michael on 11/22 at 12:05 AM
"All I know is what Reagan told me about Vietnam: the north attacked the south, and that’s why we needed to defend freedom. “
So, was that the “War of Northern Aggression” that I never learned about in school? I first heard of it when I lived in Virginia.Posted by on 11/22 at 11:41 AM
Or, as those in Charleston say about the “War of Northern Aggression,” “The Recent Unpleasantness.”Posted by A. G. Rud on 11/22 at 11:51 AM
It was me. I did it while channeling Lee Atwater.Posted by on 11/22 at 02:43 PM
Wow! Hey, John, it worked—and it’s only Tuesday! We have our culprit!!
Though do you think we should ask Pat Fitzgerald to question Retired Catholic, here, or the ghost of Lee Atwater? I’m not familiar with how grand jury investigations treat testimony from the spirit world.Posted by Michael on 11/22 at 03:10 PM
I reserve the right to make the key witness disappear. No one may ever know the truths.Posted by on 11/22 at 06:48 PM
I never told Robert Redford a thing, honest!Posted by Elayne Riggs on 11/23 at 12:44 PM
Not me. I didn’t have the same intelligence as the administration, no matter what they say.Posted by Bulworth on 11/23 at 04:46 PM
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