Steelers by 7
As veteran readers of this blog will remember, last year I predicted that the Patriots would beat the Eagles 27-21 simply because they had more masculine uniforms. This year I’ll spare you the full-dress uniform analysis, but I do want to note that no Super Bowl champion has ever worn jerseys and pants of the same color. Yes, the Seahawks have ditched the Pacific green-and-blue motif that has doomed West Coast franchises for decades (Oakland Seals to the green-and-blue courtesy phone!), replacing it with a much meaner, metallic bluish-grey color scheme. But football players whose jerseys and pants are the same color inevitably look like they’re playing in their pajamas. (This blog welcomes all pajamas jokes in comments.) The pajamas factor will more than offset the fact that the Steelers have unwisely abandoned the very masculine block numbers of the 70s for the sans-serif, slightly italic numbers they now wear, and thus, by the laws of science, the result of today’s game will be Steelers 31, Seahawks 24.
Speaking of science: those of you who couldn’t care less about football should check out [Tristero-at-]Digby today. No, not that post, this one. You know, between Judith Shulevitz’s “When Cosmologies Collide” two weeks ago and Dick Teresi’s illiterate “The Stars Can’t Help It” today, it’s beginning to look as if someone at the Times Book Review has decided to complement Tuesday’s “Science Times” with a Sunday “Anti-Science Times.” I think that’s called “objectivity.”
Hey, Michael, on a completely unrelated note: how does it feel to be “the Keith Richards of Academe”?Posted by rdturpin on 02/05 at 11:39 AM
In re: science, I think that research biologists have already started to figure out that Asia is a better place to be than the U.S. For physicists, probably Europe. For engineers, Europe is designing all the new energy technologies that are going to be built worldwide over the new few decades, Asia is building them.
Which is a good thing, probably. American exceptionalism has done enough damage already.Posted by on 02/05 at 11:47 AM
Is the ‘this post’ link wrong? It’s some sort of footballesquey thingy, not a link to a post.
About science and the anti-intelligents, check out Dennett kicking butt: http://philosophytalk.org/IntelligentDesign.htm
P.S. Michael: you rock. How about a sociology of science post in the context of the intelligent design discussion? Hacking, Bloor, the strong programme, and all the greats?Posted by Postmodernist on 02/05 at 11:54 AM
Is the ‘this post’ link wrong? It’s some sort of footballesquey thingy, not a link to a post.
Oops! Sorry about that. All fixed!
And as for How about a sociology of science post in the context of the intelligent design discussion?
You mean like this one?Posted by on 02/05 at 12:11 PM
no Super Bowl champion has ever worn jerseys and pants of the same color.
I agree that the Seahawks look like an arena football team in those getups. However (as Stephen A. Smith might say) I have to hit the Sadly, No! buzzer here. And it’s more in sorrow than in glee, as Michael appears to have forgotten Super Bowl III, the one that started it all. Namath guaranteed the Jets would win, and when they did, they were wearing white jerseys and white pants.Posted by on 02/05 at 12:44 PM
also the Colts in 1971 and the Dolphins in 1973 (white on white, that is). And the Ravens in 2001. But I only meant dark jerseys/same color pants--But that’s only been teh style for about 10 years, so the sample size is too small for the revised rule to carry any predictive power.
I hate to be pedantic, but I can’t abide the Steelers and the Hawks will need all the help they can get.Posted by on 02/05 at 12:55 PM
Hey, I only meant dark jerseys/ same color pants. The Keith Richards of academe wouldn’t make a simple mistake like that, you know. (Which is to say, rdturpin, I can’t answer your question in detail right now—I have a halftime show to get ready for!)Posted by Michael on 02/05 at 02:33 PM
While moonlighting as the Keith Richards of the academe, (and i really haven’t seen the heroin chic nodding behavior in any of the photos), i am wondering if the skull laden Berube is posing as: Werner Trieschmann?? He, of who wrote the following today:
— ALBUM OF THE YEAR The Emancipation of Mimi, Mariah Carey, Island Chaos and Creation in the Backyard, Paul McCartney, Capitol Love. Angel. Music. Baby., Gwen Stefani, Interscope How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, U 2, Interscope Late Registration, Kanye West, Roc-A-Fella Who will win : Gwen Stefani may be the dark horse with a breakout album that abandoned all the interesting rock and ska elements of No Doubt for the hip-pop emptiness of post-music MTV / VH 1 divadom. Catchy as Ebola and just as frightening, the bizarre Dizzee Rascal rip-off “Hollaback Girl” is probably more fun to deconstruct than it is to listen to, and for the dinner-theater crowd we’ve got “Rich Girl,” the unholy spawn of Topol and the Material Girl. Wha ? Don’t get me wrong, I actually like that it is so calculated and so crazy — Stefani may not be the most talented singer, but with her gumption, her fetish for ’ 80 s junk and her smashup instincts, she’s the perfect artist for these snarkinfested times. Stefani’s not the favorite, however, and though everybody knows Kanye West made the best album (just ask him ), he’s not either. McCartney’s Chaos and Creation in the Backyard may be his best album since the underrated McCartney II in 1980, but it’s still nothing more than a charming, homemade piece of loveliness, all sweet melodies and atmospherics. It’s accomplished but deliberately miniature and Sir Paul hardly needs the hardware. And U 2 ’s album came out in like 1987, didn’t it ? Which leaves Mariah Carey for the tinseled Beyonce impersonation that is The Emancipation of Mimi, a genuinely terrifying and deeply cynical work that assumes you don’t know what “emancipation” means or what a soulfully sung note sounds like. While there’s no question Carey has the pipes, she hasn’t got the goods, and the album’s extraordinary success is just more evidence that the record companies are evil antihuman enterprises designed to embalm the human heart and maximize profits. Who should win : West. You might not like his attitude or his politics, but he made the best noise. —
As someone who attended and performed at the first Super Bowl (UCLA glee club packed its members with our water polo and swimming based fraternity--hey we looked good!!), i am now living in the unholy northwest, where these people have absolutely no clue how to experience having a football team achieve this level. I feel really bad for how it all will go down for them tonight. I am however interested in the point spreads concerning the Rolling Stones versus Stevie Wonder versus Aretha?Posted by on 02/05 at 03:15 PM
Yep, I’ve also been anticipating a rockin’ response here to that Keith Richards of the Kampus story, but suspected that it wouldn’t happen until after halftime.
But for crying out loud, Michael: this day dawned bright and cloudless here in the Pacific Northwest for the first time in six-plus weeks! We of a more faith-based persuasion see that as a Sign, and your prediction is bogus. Surely the Almighty couldn’t be that cruel…Posted by on 02/05 at 04:02 PM
I don’t suppose my theory that the Super Bowl isn’t worth seeing, ever, is any good any more. Largely because I haven’t watched one in decades.
I’m thinking lots of field goals. 22-12 would probably total nine field goals, which might be some kind of record.
Oh, I’m blogging again.Posted by david ross mcirvine on 02/05 at 04:44 PM
I was very offended by the fact that our Broncos only won their superbowls after switching to the uniforms with the big Nike swooshes. That’s just wrong. But possibly it was the darker blue instead?
Hey, my captcha word is “leave.” Are you trying to tell me something?Posted by on 02/05 at 05:30 PM
Damn, if you’re modeling how to dilate like Keith, it’s no wonder the Penn State youngsters can’t read credit card offers. I’d imagine even you, the dangerous one himself, can’t read a credit card offer when you’re dilatin’.
I’ve dilated like Keith a time or two myself, but every day?! In class?! I’ve taken my respect for you to the next level.Posted by on 02/05 at 05:41 PM
Emma Anne - mine’s ‘left’ - so apparently he’s already told me and I didn’t get the message…Posted by on 02/05 at 10:23 PM
The post on anti-science at Hullabaloo is distressing; the one on you is delightful; both are brilliant; neither is by Digby.Posted by on 02/05 at 10:36 PM
Darn you, Michael. I *like* those uniforms. The color’s great.
You seem to be right, though, which just annoys me even more.Posted by bitchphd on 02/05 at 10:52 PM
Well, that had to be one of the worst officiating games that I’ve ever seen (almost as bad as the Ohio State / Penn State game a few years ago). That and the fact that Seattle somehow forgot how to play football before the end of each half.
Well, at least there were some halfway-descent commercials…Posted by on 02/06 at 01:09 AM
Josh, you’re right—I wrote this one in haste, and should have said that my sometime dinner companion Tristero had written those posts chez Digby. In the future, I will dilate upon this at great length.
And Dr. B., I like those uniforms too, but, as we learned yet again this evening, you just can’t mess with the codes of masculinity. Not on a football field, at least. I mean, did you notice how many times the refs flagged the Seahawks for bogus “holding” calls, let alone the egregious (Dubya’s word, not mine) miscall on Hasselbeck’s tackle after Taylor’s interception, early in the fourth? If you watched the entire game carefully, and if you could read lips, you could see the umpire saying things like, “guys, there was no way Jackson pushed off on that TD catch”—the one with two minutes left in the first quarter—“but c’mon, do you realize these Seahawk guys are wearing matching pants and jerseys?”
Whereupon the rest of the officiating crew would look at their shoes and mumble, “OK, sure, that was a legit catch, but DAMN those uniforms are unmanly.” And so just like that, Mr. Jackson had no touchdown catch.
By contrast, why was Big Ben’s touchdown ruled a touchdown? Well, perhaps it was because the front couple of atoms of the football he was holding broke the p-shells of some of the atoms residing in the quantum space of the “plane” of the “front edge” of the Seahawks’ “goal line,” before he and the ball were knocked back to the one-centimeter line. And perhaps it was because Ben was wearing BLACK and GOLD, as opposed to PAJAMAS.
Just saying. And I’m just saying “just saying” as someone who picked the Steelers to win by 7, and who was rooting for them throughout—even though I was quite sure they were being outplayed until that inspired flea-flicker decided the game.Posted by Michael on 02/06 at 01:16 AM
I love how the “conventional wisdom” instantly became “sure there were bad calls but the Steelers outplayed the Seahawks so it didn’t matter.” And I’m saying this as someone who was rooting for the Steelers.
On another note, will you be giving dilation lessons anytime soon? I would like to know how it’s done.Posted by on 02/06 at 11:41 AM
The game would have been a blowout if the Steelers (as the “home” team with the choice) had worn their hyper-masculine black and gold uniforms instead of the white and gold.Posted by on 02/06 at 02:12 PM
That was some truly awful officiating, and I wasn’t rooting for either side.
Favorite ad (paraphrase): “what would you play if your couch caught on fire?”Posted by on 02/06 at 05:23 PM
will you be giving dilation lessons anytime soon?
Well, I was hoping someone would ask! Just let me finish distending and dithyrambing, Charles, and I’ll get back to you. In the meantime, you can try this: breathe deep the gathering gloom, watch lights fade from every room. Lather, rinse, repeat.Posted by Michael on 02/06 at 05:34 PM
I thought the Stones won the Superbowl. “This next one we could have done at the first Superbowl.” Any athletes of the first Superbowl still performing? Being the Keith Richards of anything is the highest flattery.Posted by on 02/06 at 10:53 PM
Congrats on being the Keith Richards of Anything! and that picture with the Pruning Saw of Doom is totally hot.Posted by on 02/07 at 05:28 PM
Hey Professor! Guess you chose the same point spread as my dog Konrad did!Posted by mazeroski on 02/08 at 04:23 PM
I think that research biologists have already started to figure out that Asia is a better place to be than the U.S. For physicists, probably Europe. For engineers, Europe is designing all the new energy technologies that are going to be built worldwide over the new few decades, Asia is building them.Posted by Sportswear on 11/06 at 07:59 AM
hahaah, thanks for sharing thosePosted by on 01/28 at 04:43 AM
- Posted by on 01/28 at 04:43 AM
I didn’t really like those Seahawk jerseys anyways.Posted by Charles on 03/29 at 06:20 AM
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