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Citius, altius, fortius

Even though I love the Koufax Awards dearly, and the good people who host them, I thought I should wait until all the Koufax categories were compiled and announced before saying anything about the nominations this humble and yet relentlessly self-promoting blog has received.  So far, I’ve been entered in the lists for Best Writing, Most Humorous Blog (oh, get out), Most Humorous Post (double get out!), Best Series (for my posts about Jamie, which I really ought to collect into a real series one of these days), Best Blog (hah!  in my dreams—no, actually, not even in my dreams), and (my heart flutters) Best Post, in which I have five nominations.  Actually, four nominations, because one of those nominations is for John McGowan’s soul-harrowing post, “The Rhetorics of Violence.” So here’s a raising of the traditional liberal-elite glass of pinot grigio to John!  Kudos, my friend.

When I started blogging two years ago, it didn’t take me long to realize that the Koufaxes are critical to the self-representation of the left hemisphere of the blogosphere.  They bring attention to all kinds of emergent blogs, particularly in the “Best New Blog” and “Blog Most Deserving of Wider Recognition” categories.  And it’s a sad-but-good commentary on the growth of Left Blogistan that the Koufaxes have lately become too unwieldy for Wampum to handle.  Let me put it this way: in 2002, there were 15,000 blogs.  Now there are almost 30 million.  Four years ago, the medium was dominated by manic libertarians (finally!  a medium of Total Freedom in which I can vent at will!  Truly this is the Paradise of which Robert Heinlein and George Gilder spake!) and manic warbloggers (finally! a medium in which I can rebel against the Forces that Be and pledge my undying devotion to Dear Leader without once acknowledging the contradiction, because blogs move at the speed of incoherent thought!).  Today . . . well, let’s just say that today things are vastly different.  Thousands upon thousands of good liberal-left writers compete for our attention, and the good people at Wampum have their hands full as they sort through all the smart, snappy, craftily-composed blogs whose paws face to the south.  So please, if you can, help them defray the cost of the Koufaxes today. 

But I’m writing tonight about another competition entirely—a competition at once more trivial and more momentous.  Shortly after 9 pm Wednesday evening, in the comments to my previous post, the incorrigible Scott Eric Kaufman informed me that FrontPage.com, the website run by the Person Who Shall Not Be Designated By His First Initial and a Drastic Truncation of His Surname, is conducting an online poll to determine the very worst professor in America.  You may recall that I was outraged, outraged that He Who Shall Not Be Designated had not ranked his “101 or 100 or 102 Most Dangerous Professors” in the order of the danger they pose to the Republic; but now, friends, you and I have a unique opportunity to redress a grave wrong.  Please vote for me as America’s Worst Professor, if you have the time and inclination.  Right now I’m leading Eve Sedgwick by the slimmest of margins, and as you know, I have no Diebold apparatus to fall back upon.  But don’t worry about ballot-stuffing!  This is FrontPage.com, people—a website whose unofficial (and yet universally acknowledged) motto is “Sloppiness R Us.” There are no limits, no limits at all, on the number of votes you can cast from one IP address.  So stop by FrontPage today, and vote for me as America’s Worst Professor.  I thank you, and all that is good and holy thanks you.

And then go back to Wampum, if you would be so kind, and toss them another ten bucks for good measure.  You’ll be glad you did—and America’s Possibly Worst Professor will be glad you did.

Posted by on 02/23 at 12:02 AM
  1. Unsurprisingly, I was able to vote twice for you within half an hour from the same IP number. Now that’s some rigorous, utterly valid web polling!

    It may interest you to know, Michael, that as of 9:33 pm PST, 2/22/2006, you were 7.96 times as worst as Noam Chomsky.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  02/23  at  01:37 AM
  2. Hey, I was able to vote 10 times in about a minute, just by using the back button and hitting submit. Then I could watch the tally climb--you’re on top now!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  01:47 AM
  3. you should get the guys at Sadly, No! on board with this and you’ll take home the gold (or lump of coal--what’s the pot here, anyway?) for sure.

    Gavin, Brad, where are you?

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  01:53 AM
  4. Whether you are the worst is still in doubt. Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick is the only one close to you. Voted once. Will try again. Actually I tried 108 times.  You can click back and forth using the Back button.  You don’t even have to click your name again.  You are now ahead by 160 votes over Sedgwick and 1250 ahead of some kid named Noam, a chump named Chomsky, champ.

    Posted by The Heretik  on  02/23  at  01:57 AM
  5. Broadband, baby. Three hundred over Sedgewick.  I am changing my name to Diebold.

    Posted by The Heretik  on  02/23  at  02:06 AM
  6. I feel a little guilty now. Jerry Lembcke has only one vote. Certainly the man who claims to have been unable to verify one instance of returning Vietnam vets being spat upon by flower children deserves more than one vote.

    I’ma go vote for him a few more times.

    captcha: justice.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  02/23  at  02:08 AM
  7. What a fibber! You’re not even on the list! Just look at the column headings—there’s a listing for a professor named “Penn State University” at a school called “Michael Berube,” but no Michael Berube at Penn State University. An easy mistake, I suppose, but get a grip.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  02:19 AM
  8. OK, Lembke’s in the honorable three digits.

    You need not hit the “back” button, incidentally: just reload the results page and approve sedning the form again. It’s faster.

    Of interest: Peter Kirstein appparently has fans online right now too. He’s climbing like a rocket.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  02/23  at  02:19 AM
  9. I voted for you because, while the list contained several of the usual professors who would win in any given year--Howard Zinn, Noam Chomsky, Tom Hayden--I thought it was time for a new face of professorial evil. 

    The way I see it, with your Koufax nominations, it’s your year, man!  Sweep, sweep!

    Posted by Mitchell Freedman  on  02/23  at  02:20 AM
  10. Yeah, reloading kicks ass as a way of getting you up that ranking.  We really don’t want Eve to win this one (whatever Scott’s own preferencessmile )

    captcha: him

    Posted by Jon  on  02/23  at  02:33 AM
  11. No need to hit the back button? But I like seeing the results grow.  And they have grown. Over 2000 votes now. What a bad professor. Or university.

    Posted by The Heretik  on  02/23  at  03:04 AM
  12. you should get the guys at Sadly, No! on board with this and you’ll take home the gold (or lump of coal--what’s the pot here, anyway?) for sure.

    Gavin, Brad, where are you?

    I think we’re up for Best Writing as well, which means we’ll probably be going down in flames in the first round.

    Hamsher’s going to sweep it, you know. She’s like a blog-award killdozer this year.

    Posted by Gavin M.  on  02/23  at  03:17 AM
  13. You’re totally gonna win the beauty pageant now.

    ... but I almost think we should put a whole bunch of dangerous professors DHo & co. haven’t even heard of in the top 10.  Would scare them silly!

    Posted by Dr. Free-Ride  on  02/23  at  03:23 AM
  14. Yeah, why’s there no “write-in” category?

    Posted by Jon  on  02/23  at  03:29 AM
  15. Is it OK that I voted for Todd Gitlin in total earnestness? That guy is truly a total schmuck and his politics are genuinely awful. “Oh, the 60’s woulda been the BEEZ KNEEZ if it hadn’t been for the blacks and womenfolks yapping it up...”

    And don’t get me started on his “Letters to a Young Activist.” i’d be embarrassed to sell that one at my yard sale.

    That new book “The Intellectuals and the Flag” looks like a real self-important snoozefest, too.

    But no worries, I voted for you, too.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  03:31 AM
  16. I’m sorry, Michael, I couldn’t vote for you. Grover Furr’s muppety name was just too funny. And if I didn’t vote for Furr, it would have been Fred Jameson, since he’s all indoctrinating unsuspecting students with his modernist’s reading of postmodernism. Or at least he was, before he retired. I simply won’t stand for that kind of thing.

    I’d kind of like someone to tell Horowitz about Judith Butler, just to see his head explode.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:20 AM
  17. Oh wait, you meant the worst-professor competition. I wasn’t reading carefully.

    It looks like Michael is already ahead by a huge amount, but sure, why not push that margin up toward gaping ridiculousness?

    Actually, it would be fun to get Juan Cole involved too. Maybe there could be a formal challenge, if the parties agree.

    Posted by Gavin M.  on  02/23  at  04:49 AM
  18. I’m not voting in the worst professor competition, which should have a zingier title that will attract adolescent attention--say “TROTSKY OR NOTSKY?”


    That sort of gives you the idea.



    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:24 AM
  19. May I complain for a moment? I will. I single handedly multivotedly pushed the EKS vote into the range of a grand plus. I just feel that this blog is very conservative. Clearly, I am in a minority, and we need to count minority votes by multiples. But since you--each of you--single handledly (nods to David Sedaris) pushed Michael into the two grand range, I feel that I have to save my strength for greater battles.

    OK. I need to get back to the salt mines.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:58 AM
  20. Michael -
    If you win, I’ll give you first pick on which month of the 2007 “America’s Most Dangerous Professors” calendar you’d like to represent.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:29 AM
  21. So what do I get for pushing you to 2500 votes? And how are you going to explain this vote-rigging effort to your family?

    Posted by Sherman Dorn  on  02/23  at  06:58 AM
  22. The rout is on. It feels so good to back a winner.

    captcha word: level

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:06 AM
  23. Hamsher’s going to sweep it, you know. She’s like a blog-award killdozer this year.

    And rightly so!  Hey, I think I’ll rename my blog.  And rightly so!

    But don’t forget Glenn Greenwald.  His blog kicks it and then kicks it some more.

    Certainly the man who claims to have been unable to verify one instance of returning Vietnam vets being spat upon by flower children deserves more than one vote.

    You know how it is, Chris.  No justice, no peace. Besides, if Jerry Lembcke is willing to say that about our men in uniform, just think of how he might treat conservative students!  He probably spits on them and then denies having done so.

    What a fibber! You’re not even on the list! Just look at the column headings—there’s a listing for a professor named “Penn State University” at a school called “Michael Berube,” but no Michael Berube at Penn State University.

    Jeez, they never sleep at Sloppiness R Us, do they?  Now I’m going to have to change my name to Penn State University.  Right after I change the name of this blog.

    And if I didn’t vote for Furr, it would have been Fred Jameson, since he’s all indoctrinating unsuspecting students with his modernist’s reading of postmodernism.

    I agree, Pat, someone’s got to stand up and be counted on this one.  No more Lukacsian readings of L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E poetry and Los Angeles hotels!

    And how are you going to explain this vote-rigging effort to your family?

    The usual way, Sherman—with popcorn and a Dasani water.

    Oh, and don’t forget to show some love to my dangerous Penn State colleague, Sam Richards.  Right now he’s fifth.  Remember, his name is Penn State University, and he teaches at Sam Richards.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:23 AM
  24. Dr. Berube - good luck in your quest to become America’s Worst Professor. I only wish that I had the opportunity to join you in the study of great literature. I envy your students.

    You may hold us accountable for our political views as citizens and as educators, but our political views and our scholarly arts may not for your purposes be wedded.
    Gideon Lewis-Kraus, In the Penthouse of the Ivory Tower, C-Theory July 04

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:41 AM
  25. Michael BerubePSU 2543
    Eve SedgwickCUNY 1237

    You are a patriotism-destroyin’ machine, Michael. Unless Eve announces some special extra-credit excercises for her lecture classes, you’d better get that tuxedo to the dry cleaners, pronto.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  08:49 AM
  26. Did the UC system open a new campus?  Where the hell is Berkelyl?

    Posted by JDC  on  02/23  at  08:50 AM
  27. Sorry, I’m still stunned by the omissions from the list. Where, in God’s name, is Michael Hardt?  He wrote two popular books with a convicted terrorist, for pete’s sake!  That should count for something.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  08:59 AM
  28. We too were struck by the obvious omissions, but then, we’re given to understand that Mr. H. has a small staff.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  09:09 AM
  29. import httplib
    for i in xrange(100):
        conn = httplib.HTTPConnection("www.frontpagemag.com")
        conn.request("POST", "/survey/vote.asp", "profVote=46&VOTE=Vote+Now!",
                     {'User-Agent':'Diebold Ballot-Rectify-o-bot v2.1'}wink
        r1 = conn.getresponse()
        print r1.status

    Posted by Dominic Fox  on  02/23  at  09:28 AM
  30. To run the above code, you will need a Python interpreter. You can get one from http://www.python.org. Copy and paste the code above into a file, and save it as “diebold.py”. Then run the file (on Windows, once you’ve installed Python, all you need to do is double-click it). Presto - high-tech ballot stuffing. Feel free to change the number (in the line “for i in xrange(100)") from 100 to a figure of your choosing…

    Posted by Dominic Fox  on  02/23  at  09:35 AM
  31. Damn it, that version doesn’t actually work.

    This version does, though:

    import httplib
    for i in xrange(100):
        conn = httplib.HTTPConnection("www.frontpagemag.com")
        conn.request("POST", "/survey/vote.asp", "profVote=46&VOTE=Vote+Now!",
                     {'Content-Type': 'application/x-www-form-urlencoded',
                     'User-Agent':'Diebold Ballot-Rectify-o-bot v2.1'}wink
        r1 = conn.getresponse()
        print r1.status

    Posted by Dominic Fox  on  02/23  at  09:45 AM
  32. Hey, I have a suggestion: Why not a poll of the 101 Most Dangerous Graduate Students in the USA! I nominate that Scott Eric Kaufman fellow. His rap sheet: English major (bad enough), blogger with a blog whose title alludes to Bataille, a known Frenchman (yikes), and an admitted interrupter of undergraduate trysts (oh my).

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  09:56 AM
  33. I’d like to make a request that no one vote for Derrick Bell.  He’s an administration shill and a union buster at NYU, and he doesn’t deserve he honor of a single more vote.  “Leftists” who cross picketlines really get to me.  Or, if you want to honor Bell for some reason, you could donate to the GSOC strike fund in his name.

    Posted by jacob  on  02/23  at  10:29 AM
  34. Okay, I’ve just finished casting a quick baker’s dozen or so votes for Prof. P.S. University at Michael Berube.  You’re the Secretariat of academe, sir!

    I couldn’t help but notice, though, that so many of these dangerous free-thinkers have the last name “University.” So not only are they undermining traditional American values, they’re involved in a ridiculous amount of nepotism, as well!  They’re like the Fred Phelps family!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  10:55 AM
  35. If those who are interested, Jesus’ General has reviewed the 101 professors book for Amazon.

    Posted by JDC  on  02/23  at  10:57 AM
  36. Actually, Michael, you’re up against ReddHedd for best writing and Plame for best series.  I kinda feel bad that when mentioning FDL, many forget that much of the more serious writing (versus the cute and entertaining, but nevertheless fluffy fluff) is posted under our favorite prosecutor-turned-parent Redd.

    And thanks for all the kind words.  I do think we’ve actually got it under control (had to work out a lot of kinks now with so many more nominees), and I think if we tighten up on the nominating process next year (URLs required, no zillion self-nominations, etc.) and find a sponsor (so we can stop begging) we’ll continue holding them at Wampum for the as long as we sanely can.

    Posted by MB  on  02/23  at  11:09 AM
  37. Sorry Michael-I had to vote for “gentleman” bob jensen. Long time reader-first time poster-you were however mentioned by my critical theory professor last night in class-to which I responded that I read your blog on a regular basis.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  11:12 AM
  38. You got my vote!  You’re up to 4000-and-something now, totally stomping EKS and way way out ahead of Ward Churchill, which is going to have them scratching their heads over at the SAF Brigade Headquarters, I’m sure. 

    I noticed no write-in opportunity, and so I guess we can’t nominate ourselves or our colleagues.  Thanks for showing these guys how a really good internet campaign is run.

    Posted by Ur Err  on  02/23  at  11:20 AM
  39. I thought Gavin was right-- are you really 619 times worse than that naysaying know it all Juan Cole?  I think you’re only about 40 times worse, so I’ll see to it that the ratings are adjusted.

    Posted by ackfoo  on  02/23  at  11:29 AM
  40. Vote often, live long, Diebold. Someone else besides me is voting early and often in the Cook County tradition.

    Posted by The Heretik  on  02/23  at  11:33 AM
  41. You got my vote(s), but only because I’m not in the running.  You gotta love electronic voting!

    Posted by Chuck Tryon  on  02/23  at  11:38 AM
  42. I didn’t know Amiri Baraka taught at “Rutgers University, Stony Brook.”

    Great news! My home state has decided to stop taking shit from its overbearing neighbor to the north—they must have invaded.

    Posted by Brian  on  02/23  at  11:38 AM
  43. I did my bit.

    As Stalin may have said, “It’s not who votes that counts, it’s who counts the votes.” Nevertheless, you have at present a commanding lead (just as Mustafa Kemal Ataturk did in the early running for Time‘s “Man of the Century” poll).

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  11:47 AM
  44. Thank you, thank you, one and all, even Jon for voting for Bob Jensen (who is indeed more dangerous than I).  And a special thanks to Dominic Fox, for showing us exactly what happened in Ohio!  So that’s how it’s done. . . .

    I couldn’t help but notice, though, that so many of these dangerous free-thinkers have the last name “University.” So not only are they undermining traditional American values, they’re involved in a ridiculous amount of nepotism, as well!  They’re like the Fred Phelps family!

    Good catch, Alek!  Now you know why we need the Academic Bill of Rights.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/23  at  11:57 AM
  45. Hey, I have a suggestion: Why not a poll of the 101 Most Dangerous Graduate Students in the USA! I nominate that Scott Eric Kaufman fellow. His rap sheet: English major (bad enough), blogger with a blog whose title alludes to Bataille, a known Frenchman (yikes), and an admitted interrupter of undergraduate trysts (oh my).

    Yeah, where’s our list and how do I get on it?

    And I had to vote for the other Michael (Warner).  Dangerous queer theorists need to stay on top.

    Posted by air  on  02/23  at  11:59 AM
  46. Michael, I just bumped you up to an even 4500 votes.  You’re welcome. 

    The real question is: if you win “Most Dangerousest Professor,” will you finally be invited to be a guest on *The Daily Show* or *The Colbert Report*.  I mean, Michael Dyson was with Colbert last night.  You cudda beena contenda. 

    Still, B. Dorn should probably win this competition.  I mean, she actually blew shit up.  And she’s batshit crazy.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  12:13 PM
  47. Well, Michael, after I’d cast my votes you were at 4531. But votes are piling up so fast I’m sure that you’ll have 10 or 20 or 30 more by the time I’ve actually posted this note.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  12:15 PM
  48. You got my vote!

    Posted by punkrockhockeymom  on  02/23  at  12:15 PM
  49. PS I also posted some votes for McChesney as he’s so far down in the list & thus no threat to your hegemonic appropriate of the Means of Evil Doing.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  12:19 PM
  50. Michael,

    In the name of civil disagreement, I just want to point out how completely unfair it is to call FrontPageMag.com “sloppiness ‘r’ us.”

    So far, your accusation seems based entirely on switching the “name” and “institution” columns on the poll.  Everyone makes proofreading mistakes!

    Well, I guess there’s also the fact that you can easily vote multiple times.  But isn’t this the same system used by major league sports in allstar ballotting?  And nobody calls them sloppy!

    And I suppose the “Rutgers, Stony Brook” entry is a bit off, too.  Still, to err is human.

    None of this suggests that Mr. Horowitz is not essentially correct.  I think you’ll find that if you read press releases issued by Students for Academic Freedom, they entirely back Horowitz up.  Case closed!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  12:47 PM
  51. Way to go Penn State! 2 in the top 5! 

    I had to push Juan Cole up higher.  I got him up one spot in about 30 seconds.  I think he’s more dangerous than seventh: lots of people rely on him for a realistic view of events in the middle east.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  12:49 PM
  52. Ace

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  01:03 PM
  53. Subvert the dumbocracy fifty votes at a time.

    Posted by The Heretik  on  02/23  at  01:08 PM
  54. Still, B. Dorn should probably win this competition.  I mean, she actually blew shit up.  And she’s batshit crazy.

    Good point, Luther.  Besides, c’mon, everyone knows I got into that book on a technicality.  The three major categories are:  (1) Horowitz’s former comrades or competitors from the insane Maoist-Avakianist wings of the Very Late New Left; (2) professors in Middle Eastern studies; and (3) people who study race and American history.  The catchall category (4), People Who Just Piss Horowitz Off No End, is by far the least impressive.  That’s why it’s so important that people like Eve Sedgwick and I put in a good showing in this poll.

    Oh, and Artless in MD, don’t forget that new UC campus at Bekrlkelyl.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/23  at  01:21 PM
  55. Go Team Berube!

    Alas, out of unfamiliarity with the exercise, I went and tried to vote for Gertrude Himmelfarb (her emeritus status at CUNY counts for something, doesn’t it?) or Donald Kagan. 

    But G.G. Liddy was yanked off a low watt AM talk show station in the Imperial City. We no longer can hear David H’s manic expositions on The Memes We Need To Survive. 

    And suffer accordingly.

    Michael, if Team Berube can keep it going and you win, this surely is a Triumph, more than an Ovation. Although a grad student following you in the chariot murmuring “Remember you are nothing but a man” might be protocol, I think in 2006 it can be updated to “Let me hear you say this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S!”

    Posted by Leo Strauss  on  02/23  at  01:25 PM
  56. I see that David Horowitz has added the following User Interface boilerplate to the entry formatting on his site:

    Sign Up Today and Have Every Horowitz Blog Dropped Into Your Email So That You Don’t Miss One

    Is it just me, or does that sound somewhat scatological?

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  02/23  at  01:35 PM
  57. PSU #1

    Professional courtesy.
    Ballot stuffing is really quite unnecessary, Michael would clearly win anyway, unless Juan decides to petition his blog readers that is.
    Chomsky and Davis don’t blog?

    Posted by Steinn Sigurdsson  on  02/23  at  01:40 PM
  58. Michael, I’d love it if you had a “Jamie archive.” I have a friend whose nephew has Downs [sp?]; I wanted to direct her to your Jamie posts but couldn’t find a way to corral them.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  01:48 PM
  59. Michael,

    I’m pulling for you to win the coveted Worst Professor award. Would it be unethical of me to vote more than once?

    Posted by Daryl McCullough  on  02/23  at  01:53 PM
  60. Daryl, it’s not only not unethical, it’s your sworn duty as a blog reader!  Vote early and often!

    Given Michael’s comfortable 3000 vote lead, however, I decided to help out a few others.  I couldn’t stand to see bell hooks languishing in the single digits, so I bumped her by about 25 votes or so.  She is now worse than Amiri Baraka, but not as bad as Ward Churchill.

    I’m working on it.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  02:00 PM
  61. You got my votes (four of them). I’m deeply upset, though, that I didn’t make the list. In fact, no one at an HBCU did, which surprises me. My colleagues are clearly falling down on the job of mind-control.

    Posted by Fragano Ledgister  on  02/23  at  02:23 PM
  62. I would like to second Protevi’s nomination of Scott Eric Kaufman for the Most Dangerous Graduate Students in the US.  (And Protevi should know: without his guidance I wouldn’t be half so dangerous.) In addition to the reasons John listed, I want add a few more:

    1) My classroom is wicked dangersome: sleeping students are liable to find themselves pelted with paper balls; I crack wise at the expense of certain dangerous Jews; I discuss on occasion the dissertation I’m writing on Darwin

    2) I’ve now been cited by name three times by Michael, who we now know to be the worst a.k.a. most-dangerous-professor in America, despite Horowitz’s initial reluctance to rank ‘em.  The people have spoken!  (And just like my classroom, some much more than others.  Maybe I need to whip out my bag of feminist pedagogy tricks . . . )

    3) I have a bag of feminist pedagogy tricks.

    4) My wife and I accepted cash donations from a known gay for seven months.  We even made him do his half of the dishes.

    5) I never planted a tree in Israel like all the other kids in Hebrew class...but I did spend a summer with communists in the le Marche province of Italy.  (Where, fascistic boasts aside, the trains never ran on time.)

    7) I’m awesome with numbers.

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  02:28 PM
  63. Oh, and Michael’s great and all, but ”My Morning,” also nominated, ain’t unfunny.

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  02:29 PM
  64. I’m sorry, Michael, but I voted for Bernardine.  Better legs.

    Posted by jam  on  02/23  at  02:59 PM
  65. As of 2 pm EST Michael’s leading by almost 3000 votes.  Wow, i had not seen the list before, as i just have no interest in supporting the Person Who Shall Not Be Designated By His First Initial and a Drastic Truncation of His Surname.  So many quality people, including a few friends, associates, and others for whom i have deep respect and admiration.  In a sense this list is an honor roll i guess for all that is good and intelligent and wise. 

    While i can only vote once (i just can’t go to that site) i would love to support many more, for this great honor.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  03:10 PM
  66. That was fun!  I want to claim credit for moving Gayle Rubin up about ten places.

    But I feel bad for all the people with only two votes.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  03:13 PM
  67. would you like a script?

    would you like a small drone army each with scripts?

    do you think the target stores “votes” in 8, 16, 32, or 64 bits, and how many of those could be overflowed if incremented once per second for the duration of the ... er ... voting period?

    deconstruction isn’t just a critlit pastime.

    Posted by ebw  on  02/23  at  04:00 PM
  68. I did my duty but I’m going to have to go back and fluff up some of those low numbers for some of the other folks.  I know what it’s like to be picked last for the dodgeball team.

    Somewhat OT - for all the bitching about Harvard U. being a bastion of liberalness and political correctitude (see Dershowitz in the Boston Globe and Silverglate in the Phoenix), no one from the World’s Greatest University is on the list.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:01 PM
  69. Heads up readers-we seem to have another reprobate stuffing ballot boxes.  Just 30 minutes ago, my vote for John Bellamy Foster took him out of the pack at nine votes up to ten.  Now he has 1300! 
    I suppose I really should vote for Eric Foner-he’s the only one I’ve ever seen speak and met afterwards.  And I’m a lefty to this day-so clearly he is very dangerous indeed.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:18 PM
  70. just went and voted now.  you are waaaay ahead Professor. Congrats.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:21 PM
  71. This is better than being in Ulster (motto: Vote early, vote often). This the best bit of ballot stuffing I have ever partaken off.

    The votes currently are:

    Michael Berube - 6001
    John Bellamy Foster - 2104
    Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick - 1248

    I reckon that with the rate at which his votes are increasing John Bellamy Foster has his own Diebold machine

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:25 PM
  72. The votes are now:

    Michael Berube - 6065
    John Bellamy Foster - 3008


    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:31 PM
  73. Foster doesn’t need a Diebold machine.  He’s the editor of the Monthly Review.  He simply called upon the workers of the world to unite, at this moment, in voting for him.  The revolution will have to be postponed until after the workers are treated for carpal tunnel.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:33 PM
  74. I just cast my vote for the big MB, a man so dangerous that in the Stones’ “Shattered” the backup singers are actually chanting his name.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:35 PM
  75. I didn’t realize that there were that many workers left in the world. Maybe Foster has outsourced it to India or China.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:40 PM
  76. Foster just topped 4K. At this rate he’ll pass MB in less than an hour.

    “The sky is falling! The sky is falling! WMDs have been loosed on the world!”

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:42 PM
  77. Added about 100 or so. Just alt-left_arrow and enter once you have your selection. It is getting a bit slow I guess we are starting to use some bandwith wink.


    Posted by PenGun  on  02/23  at  04:42 PM
  78. It’s typical of the far Leftists who frequent the websites of tenured radicals like Berube that you are deliberately and maliciously screwing up my poll.  But I’ll have my revenge, my pretties, on you and your little dog too....

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:43 PM
  79. I’m not sure Fredric Jameson is a bad professor, but his books sure aren’t much fun to read.  Long years ago I remember English professors beating in my brains with “semiotic rectangles” and such.  That’s probably why I abandoned belles lettres for the vineyards of the law.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:47 PM
  80. Shit, this didn’t install spyware, did it? Because I don’t want to get hit with a wave of “Bill Buckley Kung-Fu Academy and Rolex Look-alike Watch Sale” spam.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:50 PM
  81. Well, I cast some votes for Michael, but now I think that I have to go back and throw some sugar at Nancy Rabinowitz since she alone is bearing the standard for Classics. Dangerous Euripideans of the world, unite!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:51 PM
  82. I doubt that the David Horowitz posting above is the real one. He doesn’t sound Spartist enough.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:54 PM
  83. Show some love to Juan Cole, dammit!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  04:54 PM
  84. Foster’s topped 5K. I give Berube 10, 15 minutes at most.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:01 PM
  85. Not even that. By the time this is posted, MB will be eating Bellamy’s dust.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:03 PM
  86. Maybe not. MB’s got his second wind and has picked up speed.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:04 PM
  87. It’s still Berube by a nose, Foster closing. Chomsky, eat your heart out.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:08 PM
  88. It looks like Bellamy’s has pulled ahead with a strong lead.  I feel this is a defeat for the blogosphere really.  I mean, where’s this Bellamy guy’s blog?

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:09 PM
  89. Yup, looks like a stunning upset.  Perhaps this Bellamy guy is reading here and took notice of comments 29 to 31.  But shame on the Berube-ites.

    captcha: normal

    Posted by Jon  on  02/23  at  05:13 PM
  90. pwned!  JBF has better bots.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:14 PM
  91. Just a guess, but I think MB will get at least 1000 more votes before this is over. *coff coff*

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:18 PM
  92. Well, fancy that. Foster’s now in 2nd place.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:25 PM
  93. Blowback, you can always tell the real Horowitz from the fakes by the typos real-Horowitz leaves in his wake.  Horowitz impersonators give themselves away with their proofreading skills.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:29 PM
  94. Good work, B. Ott!  You have saved the honor of the Blogosphere and helped to select AMERICA’S WORST PROFESSOR!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:29 PM
  95. I didn’t do it officer.  I don’t even know what a “compiler” is . . .

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  05:33 PM
  96. We’re approaching 10,000 votes for MB here.  I can’t wait to hear Michael’s touching acceptance speech:  “I’d like to thank all the people and servomechanisms who made this possible...”

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:33 PM
  97. Just voted for the umpteenth time, Michael ahead by almost 1000. Gosh, this is fun! Now I know how the Bushies feel during elections.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:36 PM
  98. Michael,

    You certainly have a lot of readers (this includes me!) who don’t have a lot to do with their time today!!!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:38 PM
  99. Foster’s fading faster than a delicate flower in the Sahara. Oh, the glories of voting on the Internets!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:42 PM
  100. joe: Marx himself warned that the forces of revisionism and counter-revolution would resist us with all their power. But don’t lose hope! He also proved that the people inevitably will wipe away and vanquish those forces. So don’t thank me, comrade, thank the proletariat.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:43 PM
  101. I must stop...I must stop...it’s so addicting.
    captcha word is group, ‘nuff said.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:47 PM
  102. I got Victor Navasky up into the Top Twelve singlehandedly. It seems to me that people would have shown some appreciation. He was languishing at 2.

    Posted by John Emerson  on  02/23  at  05:51 PM
  103. So, do the Koufax’s have a category for best prank ever?

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:54 PM
  104. perhaps j.b.foster is only able to cheat during business hours...little does he know a good prank never sleeps!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  05:59 PM
  105. Michael is averaging about 30 posts a second at this point.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:02 PM
  106. Somehow I don’t think John Foster was actually responsible for his magnificent rise and (temporary) pause.  He’s too busy Marxifying the minds of impressionable young undergraduates.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:06 PM
  107. Who knew you could have such awesome fun just hitting the refresh button? I’ll be keeping that window open till I go to bed tonight.

    In fact, I was enjoying this so much I just opened a second window so I can add a coupla dozen votes for Juan at the same time. Didn’t seem right to leave him out, somehow.

    captcha: “can”. You bet.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:06 PM
  108. So it was *you*, JE, who kept pushing Victor N in front of Gayle Rubin.  Well take *that*!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:07 PM
  109. Michael is approaching a 2-1 lead on JBF.  What a shutout.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:09 PM
  110. How can someone with a name like “Lisa Anderson” be all that dangerous? She sounds like about 45% of my femal students here in NoDak Land.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:18 PM
  111. Cole is climbing.  Could this be a Cinderella story we’re seeing here today?  Back to you, B. Ott…

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:19 PM
  112. This is sad-I’m the only person voting for Bob Jensen.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:20 PM
  113. Michael Berube, Eve Kosovsky Sedgwick, Michael Eric Dyson, and bell hooks? It’s like Sophie’s Choice! I just want you all to win.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:36 PM
  114. Done. 19K and counting. It’s in the bag!!!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:41 PM
  115. Pushing 20k.  Love these scientific polling methods.  I’m not even American and get to vote many times for people I have never even heard of.  Good luck on this one Dr. Berube but I think you have a lock on it now.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:51 PM
  116. The most pride (but not overweening) I’ve felt in a long time: I was responsible for vote #20,500.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:57 PM
  117. MB plotting with his minions to secure ultimate victory:


    Posted by  on  02/23  at  06:59 PM
  118. Minions on the move:


    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:00 PM
  119. Nameless One contemplating MB’s ultimate victory:


    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:03 PM
  120. Brad DeLong is out there campaigning for you. You are leading by a wide margin at the moment.

    Word to enter: expect.  As in I expect the poll to be freeped very shortly once the Horowistas* realize Ward Churchill isn’t winning.

    * I hope this nickname isn’t disrespectful to women or minorities.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:04 PM
  121. just had to add my quantity of votes out of sheer belgitude. I think you might just win this one, Michael. I’ll drink a beer to that and yourself (and then another one just to make sure). (mind if I smoke?) Beginning to wonder if these numbers are not becomming slightly disconcerting. To whom, one might ask.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:08 PM
  122. Another minion:


    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:11 PM
  123. I have a feeling that some have enlisted the help of Javascript to aid in your cause.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:11 PM
  124. Voted for you. You’re now #1 !!!

    Also tossed my own name in the ring. (haven’t a ghost of a chance)

    Champ, do you have any tips on reaching the top on the next go round?

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:12 PM
  125. Some of nameless one’s short staffers:

    a12a3c.jpg ALIGN=BOTTOM

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:14 PM
  126. Best.  Thread.  Ever.

    Posted by Jon  on  02/23  at  07:37 PM
  127. Look what I did!  Wait, if Horowitz and his $18 millions dollars come after me . . . look what Michael did!

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  07:43 PM
  128. OK, so who does this Eric Foner guy think he is?

    Captcha: provided

    Posted by Jon  on  02/23  at  07:46 PM
  129. I am tempted to quote cliches from Casablanca, tempted to quote cliches from Casablanca! to find gaming the vote happening here.

    I actually didn’t believe it, taking Dominic’s post a s a clever witticism, until I compiled the thing myself and clicked the applet a couple dozen or so times just to see if it really worked! And needless to say it did, and I am very disappointed in all of you.

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  02/23  at  07:51 PM
  130. What? Juan Cole, University of Michigan, is up against someone from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor? When did the Wolverines collect two campuses?

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  07:57 PM
  131. "America’s Worst Professor.” I see a sitcom pilot here, something along the lines of “Lucky Jim” as visualized by the creative minds at the WB.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  08:02 PM
  132. As they told the delagates at the 1934 Congress of Victors, “The People Are Joyous!”

    And then after counting the votes, they falsified the tally and killed about everyone who voted. (Which raises an interesting question about how the newly named NKVD would torture and kill a script or bot).

    :: David H.::  Yagoda, you were too slow!  Reform the OGPU into the NKVD!

    ::Congress sotto vocce Oh KirovMicheal, we know we voted for you!

    Posted by Leo Strauss  on  02/23  at  08:07 PM
  133. P.S.  I wonder if David H.’s will explode—Michael you are approaching the 30,000 mark !

    Posted by Leo Strauss  on  02/23  at  08:10 PM
  134. Here’s a catchy little ditty to the tune of Irving Berlin’s “Puttin on the Ritz.” It’s from the hit musical *Springtime for Students for Academic Freedom*. It’s a duet between DH and Rick Santorum

    “If your prof is lefty and his credentials are hefty
    Help me do to him what Dick did to Alger Hiss--
    Put him on the list!”

    “Even if his syllabus is super
    It has to be ok’d by a State Trooo-per

    captcha word: “normal” as in the old *Mad* Magazine satire where the professor writes
    at the end of his journal
    “everything is back to norbal.”

    Posted by david ross mcirvine  on  02/23  at  08:15 PM
  135. It goes to show--you can be the worst professor in America, but it don’t mean nuthin’ if you can’t get out the vote.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  08:19 PM
  136. Over 30,000. You’re the Evil One!!

    Posted by Fragano Ledgister  on  02/23  at  08:27 PM
  137. Don’t stop voting, btw: We’re pedaling as hard as we can, and looking for a factor of five at least, but Bellamy-Foster’s ‘Monthly Review’ sux.

    Posted by Gavin M.  on  02/23  at  08:33 PM
  138. I took a five-minute average, and clocked you at 1.27 votes/second.
    The long-term average is probably lower, since one of those minutes spiked at 4.5 votes/second (zat you, Dominic?)
    Tally is at 30,936 at the moment of posting, with a bullet.

    I say this is a mandate!

    So—Michael, how do you plan to spend your political capital?

    Posted by jre  on  02/23  at  08:41 PM
  139. Well, I think you’re all being very silly. I’ve voted just the once. Like the Frenchman not eating 2 eggs when he had the chance - one egg is enough.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  08:42 PM
  140. Michael refuses to accept my trackback, so I’ll just post it instead.  Campaign Slogans for Our Beloved Leader.  Sample:

    Michael Loved
    The Little Lass
    Who Helped
    The Whole Damn Class!


    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  08:46 PM
  141. Posted by Gav

    Don’t poach my eggs, dude.

    Posted by Gavin M.  on  02/23  at  08:54 PM
  142. C: HA!

    I also gave Bruce Branklin a boost. We older guys need to stick up for one another.

    What’s with Foner, anyway?

    Posted by John Emerson  on  02/23  at  09:08 PM
  143. Wowsers.  I went to a talk on autism this afternoon, then picked up the New Car that replaces the Subaru, and then we all went out for pizza, for I, too, like to live dangerously.  And then I come back and find that I missed all the midday drama!  Could there really have been a moment just after 4 pm when I was not in the lead? —Gasp! --

    Thank you once again, everyone.  I will begin preparing my acceptance speech tomorrow morning, though I note with mild alarm that there’s no indication of when voting is supposed to end.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/23  at  09:14 PM
  144. Just you wait, JE, when I get home tonight I’m gonna download me one of those bot thingies.

    Unless DHo’o’t’ pulls the plug on our game first.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  09:20 PM
  145. For those who find all this refreshing rather tiresome:

    1) Make a file in Notepad called 1.html or something of the sort.  Paste the following into it and save:

    <script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript"><!--

    function init()

    function DoSubmission() {
    <body onload="init()">
    <form name="MyForm" method="POST" action="http://www.frontpagemag.com/survey/vote.asp">
    <input type='Radio' name='profVote' value='46' checked>

    <input type='submit' value='Vote Now!' name='VOTE'>

    2): Make a file on the desktop called 2.html, with:

    <META HTTP-EQUIV=Refresh CONTENT="10; ">

    <iframe src="1.html" id="myframe"></iframe>
    <a href="javascript:myframe.document.location.reload()">refresh iframe</a>

    Open 2.html and voila, Instant Diebold!

    I would understand if folks thought this code to be malicious, but a quick read-through should make it clear that this is not the case.  I wouldn’t set the refresh rate any higher than 10 (1 vote/10 seconds); the idea is to make use of your right to vote, not to hurt Mr. Horowitz’s server.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  09:25 PM
  146. I’m just working to get all the old guys I like into the triple figures. I’m excluding the Weathercouple and Ron Karenga.

    Posted by John Emerson  on  02/23  at  09:26 PM
  147. My sentimental favorite was Tom Hayden but he probably has a room full of ‘most dangerous’ trophies already.  So I voted for you but I will be watching carefully to make sure you don’t fall into some mushy nostalgia over Nikita Khrushchev or something.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  09:29 PM
  148. Oh, I’ll never know how good it feels to hold you— Nikita, I need you so.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/23  at  09:34 PM
  149. I’m with Jon R. Pike—c’mon, people, show some love for Professor University of Texas, Austin of Robert Jensen!

    He’s being dangerous in Texas for pity’s sake!

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  09:40 PM
  150. Nikita Dear,
    Mike Loves You So.
    Has Got
    To Go!

    [Sorry.  It’s addictive.]

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  09:41 PM
  151. Doctor Diebold enjoys voting and seeing results immediately, going back and forth from page to page,with only carpal tunnel as a potential injury.  Just over 34K after being at 1200 yesterday.  Citius, altius, fortius, indeed.

    Posted by The Heretik  on  02/23  at  10:05 PM
  152. That is so fantastic. You’re in first place. Congratulations on a job well done.

    Posted by liz blondesense  on  02/23  at  10:07 PM
  153. Dude, where are all the medievalists on that list?  We’ve got edged weaponry, dammit. (Actually, some of us really do.)

    Posted by Dr. Virago  on  02/23  at  10:11 PM
  154. I think Bellamy Foster must’ve come over here and stolen that bot, because his votes are going crazy through the roof!!!  oh noes.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  10:33 PM
  155. I took care of that little problem.

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  10:37 PM
  156. I think the frontpagemag.com server is getting a little worn down…

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  10:46 PM
  157. I checked: We’re well below it’s bandwidth parameters.  It may be a little slow, but we’re not in denial of service territory.  (I knew my high school years would come in handy someday . . .)

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  10:49 PM
  158. Obviously:

    it’s = its

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  11:03 PM
  159. I’m sorry but I cannot believe that my own institution, Brown, isn’t home to a single one of the 101 Worst.  I mean we had eight mentions (joint top!) on that Lynn Cheney thing about 9/11 three years ago, and now, zilch.  Ruth Simmons has a lot to answer for ...

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  11:12 PM
  160. I must note that there seems not to be a single mathemagician on The List.

    Like, hello?

    Like, the Unabomber?

    Like, hello?

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  11:27 PM
  161. And before anyone asks: for reasons I don’t feel comfortable explaining here, I have sixteen zombified machines in my apartment.  I’m that kind of geek.  You know, the kind who needs raw processing power and has the know-how to transform other people’s junk I’ve “purchased” for some Snapple into the living dead.  (If want more information I suggest you hit this link and use your imagination.  Sure, I’m a total dilettante, but I do it my way.  Plus, I have other numbers to crunch.  I’m a Mets fan.  I need to know the maximal lineup construction in order to heckle with authority.)

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/23  at  11:30 PM
  162. You are one dangerous mofo.  Since my aunt didn’t make the list (she is pissed, I’m sure), I will be happy to vote for you. I see David Cole has been nominated too, evidently for having the temerity to actually try to uphold that seditious document, the Constitution of the United States.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  11:35 PM
  163. Jesus, dude. You are so dangerous that you’re gaining votes at the rate of about 1,000 a minute or so.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  11:43 PM
  164. Yeah, this is getting downright scary.  I went downstairs for a can of seltzer, and when I came back I had picked up another 2500 votes.  Scott!  Scott!  Ease off on the throttle, my boy!  You’re going to break the Internets!

    Posted by Michael  on  02/23  at  11:51 PM
  165. Michael was doing something dangerous in his new car? Like, driving around with Britney Spears’s kid on his lap? What? This is how he spends his political capital? On pizza?

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  11:52 PM
  166. Yeah, at a thousand votes a minute, Horowitz might catch on. At two-fifty or so, there’s a chance neither he nor any of his crack staff will notice, provided the lights in his office don’t dim, or something.

    Posted by  on  02/23  at  11:54 PM
  167. Alright, alright, I’ve removed my foot from the gas and am coasting.  ‘Cause it’s not like I want wrap this Ferrari round a telephone pole . . .

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/24  at  12:00 AM
  168. We should remember the inspirational words of our Maximum Leader:


    P.S. Scott—if Michael hits 100,000 by midnight it might trigger the Rapture.

    Posted by Leo Strauss  on  02/24  at  12:05 AM
  169. Yeah, throw some votes to some of the other dangerous ones. And maybe you can run the Grand Total up to a number greater than all the people living in the Internets.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  12:05 AM
  170. Be extra careful. You’ve disturbed the guardian of the Internets:


    Posted by  on  02/24  at  12:17 AM
  171. This is how he spends his political capital? On pizza?

    Yeah!  What were you expecting?

    Oh, all right, if you insist, I’ll privatize Social Security.  Watch me now.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/24  at  12:21 AM
  172. Well, I got Lisa Anderson and the rest into double figures. Those poor guys.

    Posted by John Emerson  on  02/24  at  12:27 AM
  173. Leo, you should be the one worried about having the Rapture on his conscience.  That’s your endgame their playing in the Middle East, not mine.  I’m (about as lapsed) a Jew (as anyone can fathom), so I’m not worried in the least.  Of course, if we’re all left behind, I’ll accept full responsibility . . . then laugh and laugh until I wake up.

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/24  at  12:42 AM
  174. Okay, so what gives with the surprisingly strong Eric Foner showing?

    Posted by Jackmormon  on  02/24  at  12:47 AM
  175. Does anyone else think that it is really wrong that we gave Horror wits 100,000 hits on his blog?  I feel dirty…

    Posted by Jeff S  on  02/24  at  12:48 AM
  176. It’s not like we bought anything or clicked on the ads, right?  Right

    P.S. I knew “Horror Wits” was faux-clever, but I hadn’t realized how frequently it’d been deployed before I burma-shaved it.  Alas!

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/24  at  12:54 AM
  177. Leo, you should be the one worried about having the Rapture on his conscience.  That’s your endgame their playing in the Middle East, not mine.  I’m (about as lapsed) a Jew (as anyone can fathom), so I’m not worried in the least.  Of course, if we’re all left behind, I’ll accept full responsibility . . . then laugh and laugh until I wake up.


    As you know, the whole point of our esoteric manipulations of the Gentlemen(ladies?) Patriots, Merchants and Unwashed is that we have transcended the burden of conscience with Knowledge. And, oddly, copious amounts of Absinthe help, too.

    Well, the Stahkanovites came through and our vote production exceeded the Five Year Plan target of 100,000, um, four years, 11 months, 30 days and 12 hours ahead of plan!

    Posted by Leo Strauss  on  02/24  at  01:04 AM
  178. Man, this thing is just becoming a popularity contest.  All the truly dangerous folks are languishing at the bottom of the list.  Lob a bomb; write anti-Semitic poetry; fake being a Native American—none of it matters.  The top candidates are god-damned responsible and interesting scholars!  WTF!  We really should get Fredric Jameson some higher numbers, though. 

    And Scott, Walter Benn Michaels told me that to claim the identity of a lapsed Jew is to perpetuate racialist thinking and thus ruin the workers’ chances of breaking their chains and all that shit.  So you and me, we’re a new category: “the unraced children of Jews.”

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  01:39 AM
  179. Jameson?  A danger only to himself.  Going back to #27, there are striking omissions like Judith Butler and Donna Haraway, whose absence inevitably taints Michael’s victory.  Who knows what bot armies might have turned out to ballot-stuff for the authors of _Bodies that Matter_ or a _A Cyborg Manifesto_?

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  02:04 AM
  180. How Emma Perez of Boulder is ever going to hold her head high at Central Committee meetings is beyond me…

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  02:04 AM
  181. Looks like Emma has risen to a respectable 104 votes, far ahead of well known benchmark of liberal-professorial depravity Ward Churchill.

    Hey, Horowitz’s lame poll doesn’t have enough columns for the votes Berube is racking up.  It looks like he has 11,000-something votes instead of 110,000-something.  This must be one of those “inherent flaws of the format” (I quote from memory) Horowitz mentioned in connection with “Discover the Network.”

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  02:24 AM
  182. Bill Benzon, you are teh funny.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  02:43 AM
  183. WTF?! I just realized that not only is the evil Dr. DeLong not listed, but the very epitome of evil, Paul Krugman, isn’t either. What does Donald Luskin have to say about that?

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  02:58 AM
  184. Columbia rocks!! NINE nominees, more than twice as many as any other school! Suck on that, Harvard and Yale (zero nominees)!

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  03:06 AM
  185. Suck on that, Harvard and Yale (zero nominees)!

    Well, now you know the real reason Summers was forced to resign.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/24  at  05:14 AM
  186. He Who Shall be Nameless chasing the Merry Prankster:

    in the lead

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  06:49 AM
  187. Thank Emma Anne. I believe this visual commentary is what is known as cultural studies.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  06:52 AM
  188. Left Winger (39 G, 28 A, +14, 210 PIM) Supreme Leader Berube: Oh, and don’t forget to show some love to my dangerous Penn State colleague, Sam Richards.

    Done. But…

    scarletwoman: I’m with Jon R. Pike—c’mon, people, show some love for Professor University of Texas, Austin of Robert Jensen!

    Yeah, but clearly Jose Angel Gutierrez is even better. I mean, UT Arlington, home of Six Flags and 80,000 other amusement parks, midway between Ft. Worth and Dallas, where they just bulldozed an entire neighborhood of poor people (mostly white, because they’re not racist, they hate all poor people equally!) to build a stadium for the Cowboys, and also home to the dumbest and most awful sports franchise ever, the Texas Rangers (formerly the Washington Senators!), the outfit where George Bush was employed in the ‘Useless Figurehead’ position. (Consistantly idiotic trades and George Bush? Coincidence? I think not!)

    So, 2000 or so votes for Jose there, and a bunch for Jensen to put him in just behind Jose, because our heartland commie-pinkos are just as good as your bicoastal/Northeastern elite pinkos. And then a bunch for Sam, giving us, at 4:52 AM:

    Michael Berube (Penn State University) 116474
    John Bellamy Foster (University of Oregon) 47917
    Eric Foner (Columbia University) 26067
    Timothy Shortell (Brooklyn College) 11301
    Jerry Lembcke (Holy Cross College) 11122
    Jose Angel Gutierrez (UTA) 2114
    Robert Jensen (UTAustin) 2019
    Sam Richards (Penn State University) 1830
    Juan Cole (University of Michigan 1760
    Gayle Rubin (University of Michigan) 1556

    I’m against helping Cole (and yer Chomskys and whatnot) on account Cole gets enough shit already. (I mean TNR commissioned a hit piece on him!) Yer “conservatives” hate these guys plenty and the rookies need some minutes, dammit.

    This Foster person (who probably roots for the Mighty Ducks...because of their helmets) has clearly got his minions to work again, since he’s improved his count by 20,000 or so in the last coupla hours, so I have shifted back to stuffing the box rightously supporting Supremo Berube. I can’t do it on my own tho as I lack the bandwidth to do so. But I can help keep the lead from eroding!

    [’Don’t get lazy, people.’]

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  06:57 AM
  189. Minions of He Who Shall be Nameless discovering that their scientif research into the ways of evil has been hacked:


    Posted by  on  02/24  at  07:21 AM
  190. Ludwig von parseltongue: I wouldn’t set the refresh rate any higher than 10 (1 vote/10 seconds); the idea is to make use of your right to vote, not to hurt Mr. Horowitz’s server.

    Agreed on being against DoS, however, setting refresh to once a second means I’m using less bandwidth effectively over dialup because I’m never loading any graphics.

    Setting it to zero in honor of those uncultured Fosterites’ 5-on-3 did not work, but setting one machine to 1 second and another to 2 seconds is getting me 1 1/2 votes/sec without actually choking my pipe or overloading the server. And I’m picking up ground against those other guys.

    [’You ain’t gettin’ the puck past me, Fosterites!’]

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  07:53 AM
  191. Went there and voted. To really be “America’s” most dangerous prof, you’ll need votes from South America too.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  08:30 AM
  192. Michael, now that you have achieved the apogee of evilness, you need to make some public statement.
    Something like what Lenin (of bleesed memory) said after the Bolshies took the Winter Palace. “We shall now proceed to construct the Socialist Order.” Catchy.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  09:37 AM
  193. I’m a little concerned at the fact that Dessima Williams is languishing at the bottom. I can only attribute this to anti-Grenadian feeling.

    (A more serious question: Why isn’t Tony Martin on the list? How could Horowitz overlook him?)

    Posted by Fragano Ledgister  on  02/24  at  10:10 AM
  194. Woah! I wake up and the votes are in the six figures! over 300,000! The others are going to have to duke it out for silver and bronze.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  10:18 AM
  195. Michael, now that you have achieved the apogee of evilness, you need to make some public statement.
    Something like what Lenin (of bleesed memory) said after the Bolshies took the Winter Palace. “We shall now proceed to construct the Socialist Order.” Catchy.

    “I will now proceed to entangle the entire… area.”

    Posted by Chris Clarke  on  02/24  at  10:53 AM
  196. Curse you C! I’ll have you know that I wrote no script. All my Navasky votes were completley organic refresh-enter votes.

    Bettina Aptheker, Orville Schell, Paul Ehrlich, Kathleen Cleaver, Tom Hayden, Todd Gitlin, and
    Amiri Baraka got most of their votes from me—in some cases, almost all. How the mighty have fallen.  I’m a living fossil myself, I guess.

    Posted by John Emerson  on  02/24  at  12:16 PM
  197. I think Frederick in #184 is onto something.  Not only are the golpista professors of Harvard missing, but there are other suspicious absences as well.  Just one example: I see no one from the Pioneer Valley Indoctrination Authority (AKA the Five Colleges).  Why is Frontpage Magazine silent on the worstness of professors from these institutions?

    Posted by JDC  on  02/24  at  12:23 PM
  198. I noticed that Melissa Gilbert, having left her days as Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie far behind, has made a career move upwards to dangerous professordom.

    captca:  “Forms” which I typed three times as “froms” before getting it right.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  12:55 PM
  199. Captcha, captca, Kafka, what’s the difference.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  12:56 PM
  200. JBF’s bots are voting at a frenzied pace.  No time for complacency.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  01:02 PM
  201. re M. Gilbert

    Naturally, she could possibly qualify. While on the Prairie, she doubtlessly learned the value of Peace!  Bread!  Land!

    And beating off the forces of Reaction represented by Valerie Harper, P.T.A. to wrest control of the Screen Actors Guild helped form her class consciousness.

    But, changing gears (Gilberts), if we are going to mention Temple profs, is it okay to give a shout out to a former professor of mine?  Glad to see that Regina Austin is getting some love with 18 votes.  Although she is at the evil Other Penn, she warrants a few more clicks!

    Btw, she also could be a stand in for Hahvahd, as she did do some time in the Big (Faculty) House in Cambridge as well.

    Posted by Leo Strauss  on  02/24  at  01:09 PM
  202. C is correct.  MB’s lead is below 2:1.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  01:17 PM
  203. Hey-I was just over at frontpage-no new page for today!-have you guys put the hoodoo on him with your shenanigans!!

    By the way I am glad that more people than me regard Bob Jensen as evil-but McChesney way down the list!! Come on, us critical media studies are way eviler than “cultural studies” people with their althusserian readings of the pearl of great price!

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  01:36 PM
  204. Michael, I just now tried to vote but got this error message:

    Nulli ergo omnino hominum liceat hanc paginam nostrorum præceptorum, mandatorum, statutorum, voluntatis, probationis, prohibitionis, sublationis, abolitionis, hortationis et rogationis infringere, vel ei ausu temerario contraire. Si quis autem hoc attentare præsumpserit, indignationem omnipotentis D’Hoei ac beatorum Kevini et Artii apostolorum eius se noverit incursurum.

    (And, how come the Olympics motto is in Latin, anyway?)

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  01:59 PM
  205. Ease off the internets?
    Damn the Internets, full speed ahead!
    captcha is action, of course

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  02:10 PM
  206. Gayle Rubin in sixth!  Good to see.  Did I mention that I teach “The Traffic in Women” to my entry-level graduate class?  That makes me even more evil than if I’d written it, of course.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/24  at  02:43 PM
  207. Geeez, this is turning into an addiction. I started out casting just one vote at a time back when Michael only had 23, total. Now I’m up to several hundred each fix, after which I’ll be ok for an hour or so--but then the craving inevitably starts up again, and I have to go back. That site give me the creeps; I always feel like I need a shower afterward.  But the urge is irresistable.  Captcha word: study. Hmmm.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  02:55 PM
  208. We project that Rubin’s total will rise steadily throughout the day. 

    Sedgwick is, however, closing fast.

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  03:21 PM
  209. Ok, I voted for you. Now, let’s help The General’s review of Crazy Davy’s new book:


    Posted by Steve J.  on  02/24  at  03:47 PM
  210. BTW, I think that the Worst Professor in America should win a free place on the trip to Rome “The Eternal City” with D’oh <b>and</a> Victor David Hansen.  (See the ad on the sidebar next to the poll).  Just think, four, count them, four lectures by VDH!  Happy, happy, joy, joy!

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  06:23 PM
  211. Goodness, Peter, there’s no reason to get so nasty about this.  Few of those 101 evil professors deserves such a fate.  Dohrn, sure.  Churchill, maybe.  But none of us in the top ten, surely.

    Posted by Michael  on  02/24  at  06:31 PM
  212. "Columbia rocks!! NINE nominees, more than twice as many as any other school! Suck on that, Harvard and Yale (zero nominees)!”

    Yeah, but too many of them are low in votes!  Fix this, now!  Our dominance of this list is the only reason I’ve had for school spirit for months now.

    John Emerson, you’ve been boosting Gitlin?  Why why why?

    Posted by  on  02/24  at  08:27 PM
  213. I only boosted Gitlin up to 100 when he was languishing. Someone else picked up from there.

    I did that for all the sixties people I didn’t hate (i.e. not Karenga, Dohrn, or Ayers.) Generational loyalty. Karenga may really be evil; check his Wiki.

    I was keeping Navasky even with Chomsky and Zinn, but Chomsky took off.

    Posted by John Emerson  on  02/24  at  08:43 PM
  214. OK, I voted for you.  Just so you know, you’re now the worst professor in America by about a 2:1 margin.

    In other news:  Woo-hoo!  Both my Alma Maters (Mati? ... Matera? ...  OLD SCHOOLS, damn it) have nominees up there.

    Posted by Heo Cwaeth  on  02/24  at  11:53 PM
  215. How is it possible that bell hooks is below top five or ten? Isn’t she a feminist AND Black, AND some kinda commie?

    Must rectify this.
    (Captcha: possible)

    Posted by Heo Cwaeth  on  02/25  at  12:00 AM
  216. Alright, what gives?  I voted for you, yet my name has yet to show-up on your blogroll.  I’m sure this oversight will be corrected momentarily.

    In case you needed help, it goes between Digby and Dohiyi Mir.

    Posted by Doctor Biobrain  on  02/25  at  12:55 AM
  217. Still waiting…

    Posted by Doctor Biobrain  on  02/26  at  01:44 PM
  218. didn’t want to throw this in the great new jamie post, but have you guys seen this from witzie’s blog?

    This weekend while my staff was in Arizona paying tribute to two American heroes, including the first woman to win a silver star in combat, leftwing vandals attacked the FrontPagemag.com site, and succeeded in interrupting our service for a few hours. We are not surprised that they find our words such a threat they feel compelled to try to prevent them from reaching their intended audience. We can sympathize for the pathetic individuals who inhabit the let who are so unable to articulate their ideas and so incapable of presenting a rational opposition to ours that they feel compelled to resort to Internet violence to try to stop us. But that will not stop us from proceeding with our mission which is to oppose the Islamo-fascists and their sympathizers in our midst, and defend our country and the cause of freedom.

    are you the “leftwing vandals,” B.Ott Kaufman? smile

    Posted by  on  02/27  at  05:06 PM
  219. Hey, they wiped all your votes and started fresh.  Start the lobbying again!

    Posted by LizardBreath  on  02/27  at  06:13 PM
  220. D’ho finally caught on.  Now we have to stuff the ballots again

    Posted by  on  02/27  at  06:53 PM
  221. are you the “leftwing vandals,” B.Ott Kaufman?
    While it’s nowhere near as good as “Worst Professor in America,” I never dreamed I’d get D’ho to give me as cool of an honorific as “leftwing vandal.”

    Posted by  on  02/27  at  07:29 PM
  222. i love it that the poll is fixed where you can only vote once and michael is STILL winning…

    Posted by  on  02/27  at  10:10 PM
  223. I much prefer leftwing Visgoth.  Vote early, vote often

    Posted by Eli Rabett  on  02/27  at  10:26 PM
  224. I left what I thought was a comment on Horowitz’s post but which turned out to be a furtive “Email Dave!” form saying that we had voted in his poll, not attacked his site; that we didn’t want to kill his site because we wanted our boy to be the worst; &c.  He sent me an email to the effect that “I wasn’t talking about you.  Someone attacked my tool."* But what’s strange is that it was shortly after I received that very email (2:07 p.m. Pacific) that LizardBreath noted here (2:13 p.m. Pacific) that David had wiped the votes.  Coincidence? 

    *Actually “admin. tool,” but funnier the other way.

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  02/27  at  10:37 PM
  225. There are no coincidences, Scott.  You just cost me almost 300,000 votes—ironically, after casting almost 300,000 votes for me.

    And never mind the leftwing vandals and the leftwing visigoths.  The marauders you really have to worry about are the leftwing alans.

    Posted by  on  02/27  at  11:24 PM
  226. Well, I just voted again.  It’s not nearly as much fun.  Plus which, MB holds only a (by previous standards) very narrow lead over Chomsky.

    Posted by  on  02/27  at  11:26 PM
  227. No surprise is it?  The modern equivalent of the Soviet airbrushed photo. What will be funny is when the Great Neocon Encyclopedia (VDH ed.) is released, this event of ‘Cyber Terrorism’ will resonate with false mythic potency for them all.

    So, in a way, our earlier fun was not in vain.

    P.S. Note to Team Berube—when we have a similar opportunity, we need to document it with a page capture/snapshot.  I am kicking myself for not doing it after say, the first 100,000 votes!

    Posted by Leo Strauss  on  02/28  at  12:13 AM
  228. And all this after I personally and pretty much single-handedly got Greg Dawes up from last place (and 38 votes) to fourth (and over 50,000).

    So much for a little love shown to a struggling Marxist Latin Americanist…

    Posted by Jon  on  02/28  at  12:36 AM
  229. Wait a minute. We’re supposed to vote for you. Above Chomsky (Manufacturing Consent). Above Zinn (People’s History). Above bell hooks. Above Robert McChesney.

    Look, Michael, I love you, but this is too much! For God’s sakes, man! Why, it’s enough to make me turn conservative! And now 9/11 has me outraged that Bill Janklow killed someone in a hit-and-run, and that Laura Bush is a menace on wheels to people everywhere.

    Oh wait.

    Maybe I should just be outraged that the Clinton administration prevented six simultaneous Al-Qaeda attacks on Jan. 1, 2000.

    Posted by  on  02/28  at  02:51 AM
  230. Michael: I for one would be more concerned about the leftwing <a href=” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suevi">suevi</a>.

    Posted by Fragano Ledgister  on  02/28  at  08:03 AM





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