Home | Away

Sunday Sandy

Last year, this blog was nominated for Koufax Awards in six categories.  For twelve long months, I have waited to avenge my losses.  Fie on you, Mr. or Ms. Digby (Best Writing)!  A pox upon ye, Amanda Marcotte (Best New Blog)!  And a chilblain for you too, Poor Man (Most Humorous Post)!  This year, I’m apparently not eligible in Best New Blog, even though I offered to delete all my entries from 2004 and start over; so far as I can tell, there seems to be no category for Best Middle-Aged Blog or Best Hoary Old Blog.  As for Wider Recognition, this blog already gets all the recognition it can handle.  And there was no Republican National Convention in 2005, so I couldn’t get any nominations for Best Series on that front.  All in all, I figured I would be down to three categories, max, in 2005.

But then, lo!  Someone nominated me for the Really Big Categories, Best Post and Best Blog.  Actually, I have four nominations in Best Post, and comrade John McGowan has one more.  And someone nominated my Jamie posts for Best Series.  So six categories it is, then.  I am now preparing six separate concession speeches.  After I write the concession speech in which I congratulate Todd Gitlin for becoming America’s Worst Professor®, of course.  Though I’m postponing that one until I can verify that there was no voting fraud in Ohio or Florida.

You can vote right here, and, as Dwight says,

Remember, we have your IP addresses. If you try to game the system, we will send your IP address to Bill O’Reilly and you will be receiving a visit from Fox News Security.

So don’t anybody mention Keith Olbermann.  Or Al Franken.  Or that Middle Eastern chick-pea thingy!

Dwight also says “be nice, and have fun,” which I consider an infringement of my New First Amendment rights.

OK, here goes.  I’ll list each category and provide links to the nominees.

Most Humorous Blog.

Oh, please.  Everyone knows this blog has clumpy humor.  Go vote for the really funny blogs out there, like Tbogg, The Poor Man, Zadly, Non!, Fafblog, or the General. Or maybe Josh “Poconos Talking Points” Marshall.  That guy always cracks me up.

Most Humorous Post

Well, at least this nominee is uncharacteristically short and to the point.  But imho, it’s not a serious contender.

Best Blog

Again, not really a contender, but it’s an honor to be among the 70 nominees.  Thanks, folks.

Best Writing

And remember, this blog is almost one hundred percent tyop-free.  I think that should count for something.

Best Post

This was a real surprise.  Here are my four:

“The Sense of an Ending,” here.

“Networking,” here.

“Bush Calls For Disassembling Gitmo,” here.

“Was I Ever Wrong,” here.

John McGowan’s “The Rhetorics of Violence” is here.

Best Series

It would be kind of cool to make the finals here, I have to admit.  At the very least, it made me go back over the entire year’s posts and put together the Jamie Collection for 2005.  Here goes:

The first is a brief notice about our trip to Houston, and the followup has a great picture of Jamie imitating a cobra.  (It just happens to be my current wallpaper, too.) Then there are some more Jamie pix, along with an account of our “pythons” routine.

Then we move to a more substantial post, and one of my personal faves.  After that, there’s my long-overdue apology to Jamie, which was also nominated for Best Post.

Next, sports!  Jamie in the local Special Olympics and Jamie in Challenger League baseball.

After sports, politics!  With an extra special direct address to Sam Brownback.

After politics, fiction!  On orphans and fictional families.

After fiction, amazing feats of memory!  Jamie and his baseball cards.

After feats of memory, orthodontistry!  The amazing but true two-part story of Jamie and his retainers.

Last but not least, Jamie doing his French homework.

OK, I guess that counts as a series.  Vote now!  And remember, if you can’t be just, be arbitrary.  (But fun.) There are hundreds of brilliant nominees this year, and this lonely blog salutes them all.

Posted by on 03/05 at 08:31 AM

  1. According to my calculations, you are approximately 17910 times as dangerous as Bernadine Dohrn. This means that your teaching is the equivalent of bombing 429832 buildings, and busting Timothy Leary out of jail 17910 times.  Where do you find the time?

    Posted by John Fromm Uconn  on  03/05  at  10:39 AM

  2. Actually, I have a small staff. . . .

    Posted by Michael  on  03/05  at  12:59 PM

  3. Bummed about the Gitlin thing. Apparently, his computerized ballot-stuffers write better code that the ones who haunt this blog. I will so remember whenever I need to fix an online election. Your strategy now has to be to prove that Columbia doesn’t actually exist, or that it doesn’t employ Gitlin.

    Also, let’s show Roy Edroso some love. He’s got a great blog, with some excellent writing. No wonderful series, like the one on Jamie or the 2004 RNC one, here, but good stuff. Other than that, how can we possibly go through all those nominees?

    Posted by  on  03/05  at  01:02 PM

  4. Your strategy now has to be to prove that Columbia doesn’t actually exist, or that it doesn’t employ Gitlin.

    Actually, BCB, last time I checked the worst professor website, it was Gitlin who employed Columbia University.

    (Perhaps, after all, this is subtle snark on Horowitz’s part:  we all know that in Soviet Union, the worst professor employs you).

    Posted by  on  03/05  at  02:15 PM

  5. Let’s show Roy Edroso some love. He’s got a great blog, with some excellent writing.

    I second that emotion.

    Posted by Michael  on  03/05  at  02:34 PM

  6. Is it cheating if I vote in more than one continent?

    Posted by  on  03/05  at  03:27 PM

  7. Not if you vote for me!

    Posted by Michael  on  03/05  at  03:52 PM

  8. I find it nearly ludicrous in this day and age with all of our wonderful technologies, that these two online ballot processes fail to use either instant runoff or proportional representation voting.  There are so many worthy candidates for worst professor ever as well as spread among the nominees in all the categories. It is a serious travesty of all that is good and decent that people like Gitlin can take advantage of an archaic construct (single candidate vote) and secret sourced Deibold code (okay sure chimpanzes did it in California, but Koko is their leader), to control an election in his favor.

    Posted by  on  03/05  at  06:36 PM

  9. Speaking of baseball cards, nice Koufax.  It’s from the the ‘64 Topps Giant set, right?  Card #3, shortprinted?

    I’ll swap you a Camille Paglia rookie card for it:
    http://www.theory.org.uk/david/theorycards.htm

    Posted by  on  03/06  at  11:15 PM

Name:

Email:

Location:

URL:

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Submit the word you see below:


Next entry: Dear Jon letter

Previous entry: New first amendment

<< Back to main