Michael Bérubé - American Airspace

Quit calling us squares, you beatniks!

No love for the Nuge?

A reader found a blog that’s reprinted the NRO’s Top 50 Conservative Rock Songs. The deep, deep irony that is the #1 pick is enough to make this one a thigh-slapper.

1. “Won’t Get Fooled Again,” by The Who. The conservative movement is full of disillusioned revolutionaries; this could be their theme song, an oath that swears off naпve idealism once and for all. “There’s nothing in the streets / Looks any different to me / And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye… Meet the new boss / Same as the old boss.” The instantly recognizable synthesizer intro, Pete Townshend’s ringing guitar, Keith Moon’s pounding drums, and Roger Daltrey’s wailing vocals make this one of the most explosive rock anthems ever recorded—the best number by a big band, and a classic for conservatives.

The fact that they fall for the “small government” line and continue to elect Republicans who drive up deficits and curtail civil liberties demonstrates that conservatives are in fact easy to fool over and over and over again. Anyone who still trusts Bush after he lied to get us in the Iraq war is demonstrating a depth of gullibility previously unmeasurable by any instruments known to man.

But the choice of “Won’t Get Fooled Again” was inevitable. The critical mythology of neo-conservatives is that they were once idealistic leftists and totally cool and could so get laid and knew where to buy the best weed but the tawdry stupidity of liberal beliefs ran them off. The seedy reality is that the only known human being to actually make the legitimate case that this is his life story is P.J. O’Rourke. The rest of them were just Marxists who ran off to be right wingers when they realized the American left wasn’t ever going to embrace Stalinist authoritarianism. All attempts to claim the mantle of pseudo-cool rebellion must be viewed in this light.

3. “Sympathy for the Devil,” by The Rolling Stones. Don’t be misled by the title; this song is The Screwtape Letters of rock. The devil is a tempter who leans hard on moral relativism—he will try to make you think that “every cop is a criminal / And all the sinners saints.” What’s more, he is the sinister inspiration for the cruelties of Bolshevism: “I stuck around St. Petersburg / When I saw it was a time for a change / Killed the czar and his ministers / Anastasia screamed in vain.”

The only real question is does this mean that when capitalists kill children, they do it with Jesus’ blessing?

5. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” by The Beach Boys. Pro-abstinence and pro-marriage: “Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true / Baby then there wouldn’t be a single thing we couldn’t do / We could be married / And then we’d be happy.”

This selection demonstrates the futility of trying to wedge anti-sex views with a fondness for rock and roll. The 60s were a time of smuggling lust under the guise of sweet romance and the band that performed the song “Good Vibrations” can hardly be said to have a Puritanical view of pleasure. They’d have done better with “Little Deuce Coupe”, on the theory that the car probably has shitty gas mileage.

8. “Bodies,” by The Sex Pistols. Violent and vulgar, but also a searing anti-abortion anthem by the quintessential punk band: “It’s not an animal / It’s an abortion.”

They should have just picked “Smack My Bitch Up”, because it conveys the same sort of message but in a much more digestible form.

10. “20th Century Man,” by The Kinks. “You keep all your smart modern writers / Give me William Shakespeare / You keep all your smart modern painters / I’ll take Rembrandt, Titian, da Vinci, and Gainsborough… I was born in a welfare state / Ruled by bureaucracy / Controlled by civil servants / And people dressed in grey / Got no privacy got no liberty / ‘Cause the 20th-century people / Took it all away from me.”

If you’re stubbornly against modernity, then why would you be desperate to prove you like rock music, too?

13. “My City Was Gone,” by The Pretenders. Virtually every conservative knows the bass line, which supplies the theme music for Limbaugh’s radio show. But the lyrics also display a Jane Jacobs sensibility against central planning and a conservative’s dissatisfaction with rapid change: “I went back to Ohio / But my pretty countryside / Had been paved down the middle / By a government that had no pride.”

Ironically, they have a pro-environmental destruction song a couple of notches up. I guess they voted for environmental destruction before they voted against it.

18. “Cult of Personality,” by Living Colour. A hard-rocking critique of state power, whacking Mussolini, Stalin, and even JFK: “I exploit you, still you love me / I tell you one and one makes three / I’m the cult of personality.”

And for some reason, that makes it ideal for people who support a President who’s on a mission to consolidate as much power into the top levels of government as he can.

20. “Rock the Casbah,” by The Clash. After 9/11, American radio stations were urged not to play this 1982 song, one of the biggest hits by a seminal punk band, because it was seen as too provocative. Meanwhile, British Forces Broadcasting Service (the radio station for British troops serving in Iraq) has said that this is one of its most requested tunes.

I was going to try very hard to be understanding that anyone putting this list together has to know that he’s engaging in a fool’s errand of cherry-picking certain lyrics and ignoring the rest of the band’s career or the very meaning of the word “context”, but picking a Clash song for a list of “conservative” rock songs is just beyond the pale.

24. “Der Kommissar,” by After the Fire. On the misery of East German life: “Don’t turn around, uh-oh / Der Kommissar’s in town, uh-oh / He’s got the power / And you’re so weak / And your frustration / Will not let you speak.” Also a hit song for Falco, who wrote it.

Picking relentlessly at the Communist Bloc is not the way to endear yourself to the neocon establishment that adores their methods. I’m just saying.

28. “Janie’s Got a Gun,” by Aerosmith. How the right to bear arms can protect women from sexual predators: “What did her daddy do? / It’s Janie’s last I.O.U. / She had to take him down easy / And put a bullet in his brain / She said ‘cause nobody believes me / The man was such a sleaze / He ain’t never gonna be the same.”

If Daddy overdoes it on the male entitlement thing, at least on a regular basis, you get one shot to the head. Thanks, Patriarchy!

32. “Keep Your Hands to Yourself,” by The Georgia Satellites. An outstanding vocal performance, with lyrics that affirm old-time sexual mores: “She said no huggy, no kissy until I get a wedding vow.”

Yes, and he’s irritated. Well, I guess it’s old-fashioned in that women are blamed for everything.

35. “Who’ll Stop the Rain,” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. Written as an anti–Vietnam War song, this tune nevertheless is pessimistic about activism and takes a dim view of both Communism and liberalism: “Five-year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains...”

If being annoyed at mealy-mouthed liberals who won’t push harder for progressive goals makes you a conservative, I’m a conservative. Who knew? I want my check from a think tank now.

40. “Wake Up Little Susie,” by The Everly Brothers. A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different from what they have become: “We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot.”

If your reaction to a song about kids losing their reputations unfairly because no one can adhere to impossible standards is longing for that world’s return, you are a sadist.

50. “Stand By Your Man,” by Tammy Wynette.

Needless to say, this indicates they couldn’t come up with 50 rock songs. What, Ted Nugent didn’t have a single song they felt comfortable cramming in as filler?

So, here’s the idea that we were working with at Pandagon--try to come up with your own rock songs that are most definitely not politically conservative but under great duress could be read that way. One of my suggestions from comments was “The KKK Took My Baby Away”, because while it’s not approving of the right, they do basically win the girl in the song.

I find it interesting that a lot of these songs on here are anti-choice and anti-divorce. Apparently there’s a great deal of sentiment on the right that the law is obligated to make it very hard for women to run off and leave them for Fabio. Who knew?

Posted by on 05/22 at 06:32 AM

I was originally disturbed that they only listed one Creed song, then thought about it, and surmised that half the list should have been Creed songs. Or maybe DC Talk.

The Kinks’ inclusion is a little strange. I can’t tell whether some of the late 60s/early 70s albums are nostalgic or ironically using nostalgia. Of course, I didn’t see “Victoria,” “Tin Soldier Man,” or “Yes Sir, No Sir” on the list.

And my pick, of course, is Kraftwerk’s Radioactivity ("it’s in the air for you and me").

Posted by norbizness on 05/22 at 09:49 AM
"My Old School” by Steely Dan

A stinging critique of the East Coast liberal academic elites.

Also, for the NRO’s Top 50 Conservative Hip Hop Songs:

“911 Is a Joke” by Public Enemy

Flavor Flav asks the question: Why am I paying taxes through the nose if this is the service the government provides? The solution is clear: Privatize the emergency response industry and let the market decide which service is best.

Posted by Jeremías on 05/22 at 10:18 AM
Jeremy - Pearl Jam. Makes the case for home schooling.

96 Tears - Mysterians. Anthem for the ones Atrios refers to as Whiney Ass Titty Babies.

Run For Your Life - The Beatles. Rocks greatest group endorses stalking and violence against women.

Wooden Ships - Crosby, Stills and Nash. At last, a group with a plan for the post-Apocalypse.

Rapture - Blondie. Rap by and old white woman. You can’t get anymore conservative than that.

Posted by on 05/22 at 10:22 AM
The new conservatives manage to twist everything, even songs!

So where’s Chubby Checker’s “The Twist” on their list?

Posted by Aaron Barlow on 05/22 at 10:42 AM
X - System of the Down

Show the people…
Show the people how to fly!
Show the people…
Show the people how to fly!

We don’t need to multiply!
We don’t need to multiply!
We don’t need to multiply!
We don’t need to multiply…

Die!!

Posted by on 05/22 at 10:45 AM
The original “Der Kommissar” is not about East Germany. I guess that’s why they’re forced to highlight the English-language cover—otherwise, why praise covers if it isn’t Jimi doing Dylan or something?

Anyway. I spent a few years in Vienna so I know the dialect—the original song is about drug use, if anything it’s an anti-drug song, although even that is ambiguous because the word “Kommissar” is used as a sarcastic appelation by the teenage drugheads to the narc/local beat cop. “Hey, watch it, man. The Kommissar is making his rounds.” That’s what the title means. It’s got nothing to do with the Stasi.

Also Austria was a neutral country during the Cold War—were After the Fire East German refugees? Not that I ever heard. I wouldn’t say it’s a “misreading,” but it is a stretch. If it were a really compelling anti-totalitarian song, they could use the much less lame German version, but that doesn’t work, so they have to take the much more vanilla English cover. ATF—they liked the spy imagery, period. Wouldn’t you think? No ideological axes to grind, nothing to see here, move on.

Posted by on 05/22 at 10:52 AM
It’s about time conservatives understood “Sympathy for the Devil” for the searing political statement that it is. Rejecting the government’s official coverups, Mick sings, “I shouted out, ‘who killed the Kennedys?’ when after all, it was you and me.” That’s the truth, man, and liberals can’t handle the truth.

The most conservative Clash song, though, has to be their cover of Junior Mervin’s “Police and Thieves,” which shows that law and order is the foundation of a strong society.

Posted by Michael on 05/22 at 10:54 AM
What about Mother’s Little Helper? That’s about children helping Mom clean the house, right? Don’t conservatives approve of that?

Posted by on 05/22 at 10:54 AM
There’s a lot that pisses me off about this list (context, misreading, the need to say “we’re cool"). But what irritates me most is that they perceive any song about how painful abortion is, as necessarily a pro-life song.

Graham Parker, Sex Pistols, Ben Folds Five. I think their songs are soul searching songs (okay, not the SPs) about making the best of two bad choices. It just rubs me the wrong way that their view of being pro-choice means pro-easy-choice It’s as simplistic as their music appreciation.

Posted by on 05/22 at 11:17 AM
How could they have overlooked “Taxman”?

And I nearly spit out my morning coffee over “Wouldn’t it be nice.” When I hear, “We could be married and then we’d be happy,” it has the kind of irony that only a married person mimicking an unmarried person could evoke. In other words, it is clearly intended to portray the naivete of the singer in his fantasy dreamland. I know that irony is dead but everytime I look around it seems to keep getting deader and deader.

Posted by on 05/22 at 11:41 AM
The Kinks? Conservative? 20th Century Man is from a concept album called Muswell Hillbillies. It’s about people in a London neighborhood being forced from their homes in order to “clean up” the city. As the lyrics to the title track verify “they can clear the slums as part of their solution/ But they’re never gonna kill my cockney pride”. One other song from the album:

“ Uncle Son “

He was just a workin’ man,
Simple rules and simple plans,
Fancy words he didn’t understand,
He loved with his heart,
He worked with his hands.

Liberals dream of equal rights,
Conservatives live in a world gone by,
Socialists preach of a promised land,
But old uncle son, was an ordinary man.

Bless you uncle son,
They won’t forget you, when the revolution comes.

Unionists tell you when to strike,
Generals tell you when to fight,
Preachers tell you wrong from right,
They’ll feed you when you’re born,
And use you all your life.

Bless you uncle son,
They won’t forget you when the revolution comes.

Posted by on 05/22 at 11:49 AM
This sort of thing is just totally counter-productive.

Posted by Matt on 05/22 at 11:52 AM
Highway 61 Revisited - Dylan
Secretly used by Bush administration since 2000 as their strategic roadmap for setting foreign and domestic policy.
Holiday in Cambodia - Dead Kennedys
Why don’t liberal blogs ever mention that Pol Pot was bad? Hunh? Hunh?
Back in the USSR - Beatles
Yeah, I know, evil empire and all that - and they didn’t even get the “trains on time” thing right. But mad props for supreme leader veneration. (… well at least until one needed to be cashiered for betraying the ideals of the revolution. Boy, sounding better all the time.)
Hot Stuff - Donna Summer
Not now Mom! You’re making me get my songlists mixed up together.
Ode to Billie Joe - Bobby Gentry
If only there had been Father-Daughter Purity Balls in rural Mississippi this tragedy could have been avoided (and a lot of Faulkner as well..). What? In the movie it was ‘cuz the guy was gay? Even better. Just saying - no one had to die here.

Posted by on 05/22 at 12:08 PM
I’m assuming (the link is slash-dotted) someone on the Right finally listened to the lyrics of Born in the USA, heroically overrode the lizard brain attraction of the bass line and purged Mr Springsteen’s contribution to Morning In America.

Copperhead Road praises three generations of entreprenurial talent and commitment. Nice kick drum too.

Sixteen Tons celebrates two-fisted hard-working debt servitude, a sure vote against self-interest. Not rock but the Johnny Cash cover is pretty darn close.

Posted by black dog barking on 05/22 at 12:27 PM
"Wouldn’t it be nice”: Both you and the coservatives missed the point on this one.

The song’s only redeeming - indeed noteworthy - characteristic is its utter longing. It is not “pro-abstinence,” by a long shot. It is, however, decrying the fact that her parents are in the next room.

Similarly, your cultural critique of “the sexual reality of the Beach Boys’ music and the 1960s in general” purposely avoids examining this specific song.

Posted by on 05/22 at 12:29 PM
These are the people who wanted to use Springsteen’s “Born in th USA” for a Reagan inagural so you can’t expect them to listen to ALL the lyrics of a song.

My nomination would be “Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2” They would interpret the line of “We don’t need no education” as an endorsement of their stand on global warming, abstinence-only sex ed, creationism, international affairs, gun control, academic freedom… The list goes on and on.

Posted by on 05/22 at 12:32 PM
Conservatives misread a lot, maybe because they haven’t had their own great art since the eighteenth century—how’s that for a generalization? But if it’s not true, why do they have to twist, misread, make themselves deaf to subtext or irony? Some list of great conservative movies, I remember from the Days Before the Internet, began with _Bicycle Thief_—because it shows the value of private property!! Words fail.

The part that makes me angry is the assumption that all religious expression is conservative. Even “My Sweet Lord”—there I had to laugh through my anger.

My entry in the game:

CSNY’s “Ohio”: An ode to heroic national guardsmen who boldly stood up to dangerous un-American protestors. “Should have been done long ago”—F*&@ yeah! And “if you knew her and found her dead on the ground” you’d think twice about undermining the war on terror, I mean communism, now wouldn’t you!

Posted by on 05/22 at 12:50 PM
Won’t Get Fooled Again is the perfect number one. In the course of the song we do get fooled again.

Posted by on 05/22 at 12:52 PM
Clash, “Career Opportunities:” Government employment schemes sap initiative.

Gang of Four, “Muscle for Brains:” Oakeshott couldn’t have put it better.

why just rock and roll?

Paul Robeson, “Waterboy:” Virtues of hard work.

Posted by on 05/22 at 02:20 PM
Maybe the conservatives are watching too much television and not enough film. When the CSI theme song makes number one, it doesn’t ring that true as something all that conservative, but rather pedestrian. On the flip side, it seems all to obvious that none of them watched the Jean Luc Goddard underrated Sympathy for the Devil, a film i have loved since it came out. It is also possible that they confused Monkey Man for Ape Man and then added that together to 20th Century Man??

I was surprised California Girls wasn’t picked over that other nice one; it just seems a natural for them. It does make a little sense that so much of country can’t make the list, given its focus on hard drinking, driving, and sex.

My pick for future conservative favorities--Grateful Dead’s Friend of the Devil, maybe US Blues, or what about Truckin?

Posted by on 05/22 at 02:24 PM
Nirvana, Lithium - powerful hard rock song extolling the excitement of finding God

Fear, I Love Livin’ in the City - powerful punk song exposing the failure of the liberal urban experiment

The Angry Somoans, Homo-Sexual - powerful garage rock song exposing the homosexual agenda

Posted by on 05/22 at 03:21 PM
I think this is the Kinks song they’re looking for. Some people will tell you it’s meant to be satire, but they’re just evil liberals.

SHEPHERDS OF THE NATION

Down with sex and sin,
Down with pot, heroin.
Down with pornography,
Down with lust.
Down with vice, lechery, and debauchery.

We are the new centurians.
Shepherds of the Nations.
We’ll keep on our guard
For sin and degradation.
We are the national guard
Against filth and depravity,
Perversion and vulgarity,
Homosexuality.
Keep it clean.

Down with nudity,
Breasts that are bare and pubic hair.
We are here to cleanse humanity
From the man in the raincoat’s
Pale faced glare.
So sodomites beware.

We are the new centurians,
Shepherds of the Nation.
We’ll keep on our guard
For sin and degradation.
We are the national guard
Against filth and depravity,
Perversion and vulgarity,
Homosexuality.
Keep it clean.

I visualise a day when people will be free
From evils like perversion and pornography.
We’ll cast out Satan and we’ll set the sinners free,
So people of the nation unite.

Put all the pervs in jail,
Bring back the birch, and the cat of nine tails.
Bring back corporal punishment
Bring back the stocks
And the axeman’s block.
Let righteousness prevail.

Down with nudity and hard core magazines.
We’ll bring religion back
And keep our country clean.
Keep it clean.

We are the new centurians
Shepherds of the Nation.
We’ll keep on our guard
For sin and degradation.
We are the national guard
Against filth and depravity.
Perversion and vulgarity,
Homosexuality.
Keep it clean.

Posted by Steve M. on 05/22 at 03:22 PM
Hey, where’s Randy Newman’s “Political Science”? Haven’t conservatives used it as their foreign-policy statement of purpose since, like, whenever?

Posted by on 05/22 at 04:31 PM
i just can’t help myself:
Eminem’s White Amerika

But maybe more realistically:
David Bowie’s Major Tom

Jefferson Airplane’s Volunteers of Amerika

and for W:
Little Feat’s Texas Rose Cafe

Posted by on 05/22 at 07:07 PM
Bruce Springsteen’s “Highway Patrolman”.

About a cop who abuses his authority by looking the other way as his brother commits one crime after another. Then, when his brother actually kills someone, starts to chase him but deliberately lets him get away because “Man turns his back on his family he ain’t no friend of mine.”

Family values, you know. Wonder if they realize The Boss wrote it as a tragedy.

Posted by on 05/22 at 10:46 PM
They missed The Clash’s “Death or Glory,” about how every cheap hood strikes a bargain with the world—how he calms down, redeems himself—even gets religion:

But I believe this
and it’s been tested by research.
He who fucks nuns
will later join the church.

That’s so goddam heartwarming. The Clash had some serious conservative values, man.

Posted by on 05/22 at 11:39 PM
Speaking of Randy Newman…

I saw Randy Newman in concert the night Pat Buchanan gave his speech at the Republican National convention in 1992. When he played “Political Science,” Randy mentioned that he wrote the song as satire but he thought Pat was enacting it as policy that very night.

Alas, the Republicans had to wait until GWB’s election to eliminate the satire from “Let’s drop the big one and pulverize ‘em.”

Posted by on 05/22 at 11:55 PM
1) She Blinded Me With Science (Thomas Dolby)

2) All Along the Watchtower (their search for an Iraq exit strategy)

3) Whip It - Devo (the Ann Coulter song)

4) George’s Song to George Gallup

5) Cheney’s Lawyer: Song to Dick

Posted by Kevin Hayden on 05/23 at 12:01 AM
The Strokes, “New York City Cops.” A tribute on their debut album “Is This It,” released, fittingly, on 9/11/2001. Choice lyrics:

She wrote it in a letter:
“I’ve got to come clean
The authorities, they’ve seen
Darling, I’m somewhere in between”

Here the character “Nina” extols the virtue of voluntarily confessing to sins committed under, or rather produced by, a morally relativistic worldview ("in between") as opposed to a clear-cut, straight edge, common sense love of law and order. Let us hope that in the future, relativists will come out from their relativist shadows and that the police deal with them accordingly.

Posted by on 05/23 at 12:35 AM
"Strange Fruit”

A song totally in praise of vigilante justice; like the Minutemen, only earlier.

Posted by on 05/23 at 01:44 AM
Speaking of the Clash...what about “Clampdown”? Perfect expression of conservative values:

You grow up and you calm down
You’re working for the clampdown
You start wearing the blue and brown
You’re working for the clampdown
So you got someone to boss around
It makes you feel big now
You drift until you brutalize
You made your first kill now

Sadly, I’ve been humming that song a lot these days.

Posted by on 05/23 at 06:59 AM
I vote for John Prine’s Flag Decal, because it starts out with someone digesting Reader’s Digest in the back of a dirty-book store. This obviously implies that the young man was drawn to conservative values while in the midst of liberal decadence.

Posted by on 05/23 at 07:14 AM
If they are going to read poorly, perhaps Richard Farina would impress the right. Sure, he’s not really rock, but his “Sell-Out Agitation Waltz” with lines about “offering substantial careers” and “dress you in a wedding gown” might just get the right shouting “Yeah!” and thrusting their fists in the air.

Then there’s his “House UnAmerican Blues Activity Dream,” with lines like:

“There were twenty-seven companies of female Marines.
There were presidential candidates in new Levi jeans.
It was the red, white and blue planning how to endure.
The fife, drum and bugle marching down on the poor.
God blessed America, without any doubt.”

They could easily ignore the next line:

“And I figured it was time to get out.”

Posted by Aaron Barlow on 05/23 at 07:58 AM
Tom Waits’s God’s Away on Business from Blood Money opens with this searing defense of free enterprise and small government:
```
I'd sell your heart to the junkman, baby
For a buck, for a buck.
If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch
You're out of luck, you're out of luck.
```
One hopes that “baby” keeps these words in mind and doesn’t turn into a welfare queen.

Motörhead’s The Chase Is Better than the Catch from Ace of Spades shows the value abstinence:
```
Silver tongued devil, demon lech,
You know just what I'm doing.
I like a little innocent bitch.
You know I ain't just screwing.
```
Obviously the protagonist appreciates a girl of virtue who is saving herself for that special one ("a little innocent bitch") and is therefore prepared to marry her ("ain’t just screwing"). A valuable lesson, to be sure.

Posted by on 05/23 at 09:33 AM
Isn’t “Mama” by Genesis actually an anti-abortion song? Is that on the list (link dead)?

Stormtroopers of Death did an album called “Speak English or Die” which I’m sure has conservative material on there. I bet metal in general would have a relatively high percentage of songs that could seriously be considered conservative. If you look at a Metallica album like “And Justice for All,” some of the songs might be taken to be essentially libertarian.

Posted by on 05/23 at 09:51 AM
Skinny Puppy’s Pro-Test. There’s the line “Hit me in the streets.” Which obviously implies that protesters deserve, and indeed subconsciously desire, to be beaten down like dogs in the street.

The fact that the song appeared on the album, “Greater Wrong of the Right” is entirely irrelevant to the discussion.

Posted by sohei on 05/23 at 10:34 AM
"Jesus and Tequila” by the Minutemen.

“My life...Jesus and tequila/I’m satisfied...and I can’t deny it.”

Yep, d.boon was clearly a Schwarzenegger Republican in training.

Plus, y’know...the MINUTEMEN. That’s so “protect-our-borders” butch!

Posted by on 05/23 at 11:24 AM
"How can you run when you know?”

See!? Even that Bush-basher Neil Young knew we must stay the course in Iraq! How, indeed, can we “run” when we “know” what happened on 9-11? This was in his song “Ohio”, a state known for its heartland conservative values!

Posted by Dave Lartigue on 05/23 at 01:36 PM
War Pigs—Black Sabbath
“Politicians hide themselves away.
They only started the war.
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to the poor, yeah.”

Bring Your Own Bombs—System of a Down

“Why don’t presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?”

Posted by Josh Narins on 05/23 at 02:28 PM
I’m surprised they missed “I’m Afraid of Americans” By Bowie.

Posted by on 05/23 at 02:49 PM
How about Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades?

I’m in nuclear science
I love my classes
I’ve got a crazy teacher who wears dark glasses
Things are going great
and they’re only getting better

OK, he should say nucular, but still . . .

Posted by on 05/23 at 07:25 PM
Huh. When I heard “Janie’s Got a Gun” just last week, I thought, as I always do, of my first serious girlfriend in high school, who confided to me that her libertarian father had been molesting her since she was four years old. A month later, she finally told her mom, and the rest is a long, long story.

But then I found myself thinking of the good old conservative values embodied in the Purity Ball, for some reason.

Posted by The One True Blogger on 05/24 at 08:46 AM
"Fool me once..shame on you.
fool me twice..uh...we won’t get fooled again”

R V Dump

Posted by on 05/24 at 07:00 PM
1. Ways to Be Wicked (Lone Justice)

Honey, why you always smile
When you see me hurt so bad
Tell me what I did to you, baby
That could make you act like that
Well I’ve been your fool before
And I probably will again
You ain’t afraid to let me have it
You ain’t afraid to stick it in
You know so many ways to be wicked
But you don’t know one little thing about life

Posted by john on 05/25 at 04:08 PM
Starship - We Built This City

An anthem extolling the virtues of capitalism and its role in creating a modern magalopolis.

Really.

Posted by on 05/25 at 09:55 PM
1. Candy Everyone Wants by 10,000 Maniacs
A pro-censorship song if ever there was one.

“If lust and hate is the candy, if
blood and love tastes so sweet,
then we give ‘em what they want.
So their eyes are growing hazy
‘cos they wanna turn it on,
so their minds are
soft and lazy.
Well… who do you want to blame?”

2. Not One Of Us by Peter Gabriel
Who knew John Ashcroft was a Gabriel fan?

“All shades of opinion
Feed an open mind
But your values are twisted
Let us help you unwind
You may look like we do
Talk like we do
- But you know how it is

You’re not one of us”

3. Uniforms by Pete Townshend
Conformity = Happiness

“But the State and their computers make me run for comfort in
My uniform.
In uniform I feel like a king.”

4. Beauty and The Beast David Bowie
I could see Tom DeLay using this as a campaign song.

“Nothing will corrupt us
Nothing will compete
Thank God heaven left us
Standing on our feet”

5. The Lamb’s Book of Life by Sinead O’Connor
This song was written when O’Connor joined some weird cult. I just love to think of Christian home schoolers grooving to Sinead O’Connor.

“A strong heart full of hope and a feeling
That everything in this world would be okay
If people just believed enough in God to pray
But the world thinks that sounds crazy
And that’s the thing that makes me sing so sadly
To think that we would leave God so lonely
To think that we would mess up our own destiny”

6. Where Duty Calls by Patti Smith
Patti Smith finds common ground with terrorists and our soldiers. I think these last lines would confuse conservatives enough to ignore the rest of the song.

“Forgive them Father
They know not what they do
From the vast portals
of their consciousness
they’re calling to you”

7. Barbarism Begins At Home by The Smiths
Finally, a pro-corporeal punishment song!

Unruly boys
Who will not grow up
Must be taken in hand
Unruly girls
Who will not settle down
They must be taken in hand

No ... a crack on the head
Is what you get for not asking
And a crack on the head
Is what you get for asking

A crack on the head
Is just what you get
WHY ? Because of who you are !
And a crack on the head
Is just what you get
WHY ? Because of what you are !
A crack on the head
Because of :
Those things you said
Things you said
The things you did

8. Not Now John by Pink Floyd
An anthem ripe for misinterpretation!

“Fuck all that we’ve got to get on with these
got to compete with the wily japanese
there’s too many home fires burning
and not enough trees
so fuck all that
we’ve got to get on with these
cant stop lose job mind gone silicon
what bomb get away pay day make hay
break down need fix big six
clickity click hold on oh no brrrrrrrrrring bingo!
make em laugh make em cry make em dance in the aisles
make em pay make em stay make em feel ok
not now john
we’ve got to get on with the film show
hollywood waits at the end of the rainbow
who cares what it’s all about
as long as the kids go
not now john
got to get on with the show
hang on john
we’ve got to get on with this
i don’t know what it is
but it fits on here like this ...
come at the end of the shift
we’ll go and get pissed
but not now john
i’ve got to get on with this
hold on john
i think there’s something good on
i used to read books but ...
it could be the news
or some other abuse
or it could be reusable shows
fuck all that we’ve got to get on with these
got to compete with the wily japanese
no need to worry about the vietnamese
got to bring the russian bear to his knees
well, maybe not the russian bear
maybe the swedes
we showed argentina
now lets go and show these
make us feel tough
and won’t maggie be pleased
nah nah nah nah nah nah!
s’cusi dove il bar
se para collo pou eine toe bar
s’il vous plait ou est le bar
oi’ where’s the fucking bar john!

9. Haitian Divorce by Steely Dan
A cautionary tale about what happens when a women seeks a divorce. Bonus themes involve adultry and bi-racial coupling.

“Oh - no hesitation
No tears and no hearts breakin’
No remorse
Oh - congratulations
This is your Haitian Divorce”

10. Big Science by Laurie Anderson
This will have to be re-titled “Big Intelligent Design” to really catch on with the Bob Jones kids.

Golden cities. Golden towns.
Golden cities. Golden towns.
And long cars in long lines and great big signs
and they all say: Hallelujah. Yodellayheehoo.
Every man for himself. Ooo coo coo.
Golden cities. Golden towns. Thanks for the ride.

Bonus Track: O Superman by Laurie Anderson

‘Cause when love is gone, there’s always justice.
And when justive is gone, there’s always force.
And when force is gone, there’s always Mom. Hi Mom!

So hold me, Mom, in your long arms.
Your petrochemical arms. Your military arms.
In your electronic arms.

Posted by on 05/26 at 06:26 PM
Rage against the Machine: Bulls on Parade

It’s pro- family values and gun ownership, right? “Rally round tha family, with a pocket full of shells!”

Posted by on 06/02 at 04:12 PM
I think the selection of “Won’t Get Fooled Again” references an old saying in Texas (and Tennessee!).

Posted by Something Polish on 06/06 at 10:13 PM
You should be able to enjoy music regardless of the politics of the singers. Most singers lean radically left. but they’re all technically limousine liberals. They pay thousands of dollars to fly hats across the country. Sting, who I love, didn’t want to cut down a tree for Xmas so he payed thousands to transplant one into the ground, as if that money couldn’t have better been spent on tree preservation. And then there are the blogging professors who barely work and make big bucks. but we won’t get into that. wink wink. I’m not a diehard political person. I think people are liberals to make themselves feel better. Don’t know anyone claiming to be for the poor that actually is. And I know alot of poor people who deserve what they don’t have, same as rich people who don’t. The world aint fair, get over it. Good people, republicans or dems, are few.

Posted by on 06/07 at 05:26 PM
Waaaaaay back in 1978, a couple of friends and I did “Shepherds of The Nation” acapella for the high school talent show in our very Christian fundy town. The humourless principal commended us for performance.

Posted by on 12/24 at 06:31 PM

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