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Fossils are winners: Contest results


National Fossil For Texas, originally uploaded by Lindsay Beyerstein.

The results are in. We now have a full slate of official fossils for states that currently lack them. The next step is to craft ballot initiatives, get them on the ballot, and watch the Democratic votes roll in 2006!

1. Texas, the humble trilobite. First nominated by John Lucid and seconded by many others. The trilobite is not as progressive as the first runner-up Quetzalcoatlus, but I think he’s more electable. Norbizness suggested a fern, but ferns don’t do well on TV. Try putting a fern on your TV, see how well it does.

2. Hawaii, the giant flightless turtle-billed dabbling duck, Moa-nalo, nominated by rewolfrats. First runner-up, Don Ho.

3. Kansas, fossil fish Xiphactinus audax. The ballot initiative will include language required the state to accept a Kansans gift of an audax fossil, valued at $10 million.

4. Minnesota, the giant nautiloid, Endoceras proteiforme, suggested by PZ Myers because Castoroides ohioensis the giant beaver named after somebody else’s state wasn’t good enough for Minnesota.

5. New Hampshire, instant runoff voting. Readers, choose from among the 52 fossils ever found in New Hampshire.

6. South Carolina, the giant sloth. Look at the claws on this mofo. People who don’t even believe in evolution will vote for the sloth, just because they want to be part of the brand. Suggested by coturnix.

7. North Carolina, archaeopteryx. North Carolinians will go to the polls to take archaeopteryx away from South Carolina. Also due to coturnix.

8. Rhode Island, more instant runoff voting. Browse the 144 fossils ever found in Rhode Island, and cast your ballots.

9. Arkansas, Mimulus perversus. I don’t know what it is, but it sounds dirty. Perfect.

Winners get the right to collect signatures for their favorite fossils in a precinct near them.

[x-posted at Majikthise.]

Posted by on 07/05 at 04:41 PM

  1. Well hey! By the miracle of Google, while searching quixotically for a copy of The Casuals single “Tokens of Love”, I find your blog entry from February - which can be written by none other than Michael “Amok” Berube! Good to see you looking all grown-up, healthy, family man, living in the homeland of Krumrine.
    Kind of strange how The Casuals lead singer, Danny Wattenberg, became a neocon hack writing speeches for Elliot Abrahms and later as a journalist for The Washington Times. It has been said the source of Clinton Impeachment Nile may ultimately lead back to Danny as well as the never printed but widely circulated Clinton illegimate child story.
    I too remember that Ramones concert - what a show! Do you remember who opened for my other fav concert at Columbia by Lou Reed?
    I couldn’t resist saying hello - but wasn’t able to respond to the February post, so this is a bit OT for this current entry.
    Best Regards,
    Michael Holdeman, Columbia ‘82

    Posted by  on  07/05  at  07:03 PM

  2. Mimulus perversus is a member of the Staphylinidae family.
    The common name for staphylinidae is “rove beetles”

    ‘nuf said.

    Posted by Lancelot Link  on  07/05  at  08:36 PM

  3. I think I have to post an intervention and protest Texas gettign the Trilobite as satte fossil.

    The “forward” (our state motto) looking state of Wisconsin has long had the Trilobite. I would prefer look elsewhere.

    Posted by  on  07/05  at  09:43 PM

  4. Isn’t Jesse Helms the official fossil of North Carolina?  Apologies for the bad, somewhat grumpy joke (going through a little culture shock this week).

    Posted by Chuck  on  07/05  at  09:44 PM

  5. Oh, hey, we have *one* fossil animal, and eleven species of plants that can be inferred due to their pollen!

    Well, for “charismatic mega-mammal” the closest we’ve got is a dozen Common Sand Dollars examples(Echinarachnius parma), from when all the sand here high and dry under the pines was beaches. Which you still find out off Hampton, rarely, dinky little cold-water ones, but you’ll never find any living trilobites alas, so that’s one up on other fossils.

    Or for ubernerdity, New Hampshirites can choose from a wide variety of beautiful or useful or ubiquitous plants, all of which seem to still be around since they first started growing after the last Ice Age.

    For decision making ease, here are their common names (also if you wanted to try a local, authenticated Ice Age garden or landscaping):

    Celtis occidentalis = Common Hackberry (related to elm)

    Dryas drummondi = Yellow Mountain Avens

    Kalmia polifolia = Bog Laurel

    Populus balsamifera = Balsam poplar (huh, I thought all poplars here were foreign imports)

    Potamogeton sp. = some kind of Pondweed

    Rhizome = ? some kind of rhizome, ie, not-bulbs, could be some kind of woodland orchid, or any other sort of local rhizome

    Salix argyrocarpa = Labrador willow

    Salix pellita = Satiny willow

    Salix reticulata = Netleaf Willow

    Salix pedicularis = this seems to be a typo/erratum, I can’t find convincing evidence that there ever was a *salix* pedicularis, but we still have lots of Lousewort, which is what pedicularis is, a kind of wild snapdragon.

    Vaccinium angustifolium = wild blueberry. Yum! (The scientific name is not yummy. It means “Something-obscure-possibly-not-to-do-with-cows Eel-leaves”.)

    They’re all cool as plants go, and obviously will appeal to botanists, but I still think that the Sand Dollar is the way to go. Nothing like reminding people that the solid ground is a lot less stable than they fancy…

    Posted by bellatrys  on  07/06  at  01:38 AM

  6. Well that’s good that the results for the fossils are out and you are aware that what’s inn or what’s out. I am really happy that everything got over with cool!

    Posted by James Thompson  on  07/06  at  03:07 AM

  7. I join Bellatrys in voting for the sand-dollar (Echinarachnius parma).  Most folks still think that NH is a conservative state (I think there’s a lot of misconception there—but the CW still holds that we’re a state full of flinty, plain-speaking, no-nonsense, Union-Leader reading Yankee-types), and what could be more fittingly New Hampshire than the sand-dollar—simple, unpretentious, and completely unchanged for millions of years.  In fact, so unremarkable that you can go out on the beach and find one today.

    Posted by  on  07/06  at  12:44 PM

  8. Many of these states will resist having a state fossil since that is acknowledging that the earth wasn’t created at 9 AM on October 23, 4004 BC.

    Posted by  on  07/06  at  01:52 PM

  9. My family used to have a trilobite fossil. It was awesome. My sister or I took it to school for show-and-tell one day, and...it disappeared. (I’m still mad about that.)

    Posted by Orange  on  07/06  at  05:20 PM

  10. How many state fossils are from the Pennsylvanian period?

    Posted by  on  07/06  at  07:42 PM

  11. What kind of trilobite for Texas? There are an awful lot (see the sitebelow , ironically decanted into the intertubes from the fossil-less stae of Hawaii). Every state could easily have its own species of ‘bite, with no fighting!

    http://www.trilobites.info/

    Posted by  on  07/07  at  01:09 PM

  12. Aw, I thought the fossil request was just an opening for jokes at certain states’ expense.  Now that I know you’re serious, and that you haven’t decided on one for Indiana yet, may I suggest Hoosier crinoids!

    (I am also partial to Nautiloids: Shelled Marauders of Indiana’s Ordovician Seas, but it seems Minnesota got there first.)

    Posted by  on  07/07  at  02:08 PM

  13. This seems a bit unfair to Texas, or at least overly technical.  Texas doesn’t have a state fossil, but it does have a state dinosaur, Pleurocoelus.  It also has as its state stone petrified palm wood.

    http://www.statefossils.com/tx/txdino.html

    Posted by  on  07/10  at  09:35 AM

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