Michael Bérubé - American Airspace

A matter of principle

Learned scholar and public intellectual Dr. Mike Adams visited Penn State last week, hosted by the Young Americans for Freedom, and he was apparently a big hit. I didn’t attend his talk, because it was kind of nice outside that evening and I wanted to spend some time with the blast-ended skrewts in my back yard. I assumed that it would be standard fare, and when I heard that the talk included a complaint about The Vagina Monologues (Dr. Adams feels that the play demeans women, and as a tireless fighter for women’s rights, he considers it a setback to his cause), I wasn’t surprised. But I also noticed in the next day’s paper that Adams had had some curious things to say about the Stalinist gulag that is Penn State:

“Penn State has an unconstitutional speech code, and something has to be done about it,” he said. “If you reach a public university’s funding, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.”

Let me take the second remark first. If you “reach” Penn State’s funding, you actually won’t be amazed at what you can accomplish. I’ve said it before, but I don’t mind saying it again: twenty years ago, forty-five percent of Penn State’s budget was provided by public funds, and in-state tuition was $2562. Our level of state support is now down to ten percent, and in-state tuition is $11,508. So you could say that students who ask their state legislators to cut Penn State’s budget because of the campus “speech code” are basically cutting off their noses to spite their faces, except that you’d have to acknowledge that we’re talking about some really tiny noses.

Besides, what’s really stunning is the “unconstitutional speech code” remark itself. For in reality, dear reality-based friends, Penn State doesn’t have a speech code. It has the “Penn State Principles,” which are mailed to all entering students. Here they are:

I will respect the dignity of all individuals within the Penn State community;

I will practice academic integrity;

I will demonstrate social and personal responsibility;

I will be responsible for my own academic progress and agree to comply with all University policies.

That’s about it. Play nice, don’t cheat, don’t get drunk and break things, and meet your graduation requirements. It’s really not too much to ask. The full version is available on the Penn State website, in .pdf format.

But you can already see why these principles would be controversial in some quarters. No one, to my knowledge, complains about principles two through four, but the first one—well, for conservatarians of a certain stripe, it’s right up there with the work of the Gang of Four (no, not the band):

The University is committed to creating and maintaining an educational environment that respects the right of all individuals to participate fully in the community. Actions motivated by hate, prejudice, or intolerance violate this principle. I will not engage in any behaviors that compromise or demean the dignity of individuals or groups, including intimidation, stalking, harassment, discrimination, taunting, ridiculing, insulting, or acts of violence. I will demonstrate respect for others by striving to learn from differences between people, ideas, and opinions and by avoiding behaviors that inhibit the ability of other community members to feel safe or welcome as they pursue their academic goals.

This principle clearly violates Article II, section II of the U.S. Constitution, which stipulates, in relevant part, that the President “shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to stalk and harass Individuals and Groups, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall take care, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to taunt, ridicule, and insult whichever Individuals and Groups he so chuses.” Therefore, as Constitutional scholar Dr. Mike Adams has pointed out, it is unconstitutional.

Worse still, this Penn State Principle violates some individuals’ “natural law” right to compromise or demean the dignity of others, and in that sense it is profoundly self-contradictory, insofar as it clearly compromises the dignity of individuals and groups whose very purpose it is to compromise the dignity of other individuals and groups.

Now, seriously, folks, you know I’m opposed to campus speech codes, and opposed to the various kangaroo (or water-buffalo) courts that sprung up around them. But this isn’t a speech code. It’s just a document that says, “here are some basic ground rules for civility; while you’re here, we expect you to be civil to one another.” It doesn’t have an enforcement apparatus; there are no black helicopters scanning the Penn State campuses for hate criminals and roving gangs of insulters. It’s just . . . um, just a statement of principles. Like it says.

And yet, in one very wingnutty wing of the persecuted-campus-conservative movement, this document is taken as Exhibit A of everything that’s wrong with academe. I’ve had a few exchanges with that wing, as you know, and when it comes to Penn State’s so-called “speech code,” the conversation tends to go something like this:

Me: Have a nice day!

Very wingnutty winger: Don’t you tell me what kind of day to have! You are violating my rights!

So just for future reference, whenever someone talks about Penn State’s “speech code,” you know you’re in the presence of Advanced Wingnuttery. And if you hear someone talking about Penn State’s “unconstitutional speech code,” kneel and bow your head! You are in the presence of a member of the Royal Family of Wingnuttia.

Addendum: readers who click on the magic Internets hyperlink marked by the words “tireless fighter for women’s rights,” near the top of this post, will discover in short order why Dr. Adams would be so offended by the Penn State Principles. Here’s the first paragraph of Dr. Adams’ long-running series, “Why I Don’t Take Feminists Seriously”:

Dear Daisy:

First of all, let me tell you how thrilled I am to receive hate mail from a feminist named “Daisy.” I can’t think of many names—with the possible exceptions of Coco, Mercedes, and Jasmine—that could make you sound less like a feminist and more like a stripper in a club that offers two-dollar table dances.

Daisy? I mean, I get Coco and Mercedes and Jasmine: some people might think immediately of Coco Fusco or Mercedes Ruehl or Jasmine Guy, and some people might think immediately of strippers in cheap clubs. I guess it takes all kinds to make a world! But Daisy? How odd. I suppose it all depends on whether you’re thinking about Daisy Miller, Daisy Buchanan, or Daisy Fuentes.

Posted by on 02/20 at 02:53 PM

I’d like to go ahead and apologize to my first home state (PA) for the fact that Adams is from my second home state (NC). Fortunately for the sake of my sanity they’re keeping him down by the coast. Though not, it would appear, in an appropriately-padded room.

Posted by on 02/20 at 04:58 PM
Michael;
This shows us once again there is something in the water in Wingnut land. But, his page says he failed english consistently in High School so I assume that Fuentes is the only Daisy that he knows and Fitzgerald and James are on some black list of his. And did he really have this political religous conversion ? Remember 9/11 makes them blame Ted Kennedy for Chapaqidik!!!
Remember it is our job to be civil to them for them civility is a one way street.

Posted by on 02/20 at 05:01 PM
I’m guessing Buchanan. I see her as a sort of a poster girl for the whole movement.

In one of those magic moments where life crosses symbolism, the word I am to submit below is “common”

Posted by julia on 02/20 at 05:03 PM
More wit and wisdom from Dr. Mike Adams: “The mere repetition of words such as “patriarchal,” phallocentric,” and “male-dominated” has an effect like the one described in George Orwell’s 1984. If you want to see the “two minutes hate” in practice just attend an annual “Take Back the Night” march or The Vagina Monologues.”

He’s certainly grasped the principles of Orwellianism, I’ll say that for him. I must have been so dizzied by the last Take Back the Night march that I marched in that I completely failed to notice the hate. But who am I going to beleive, Dr. Mike Adams, or my own lying eyes?

I must “Submit (to?) the word you see below: “: she. Uh oh.

Posted by on 02/20 at 05:11 PM
Good thing we just this minute got the wellhouse pipes thawed after record low temperatures in the PNW. I need a shower after checking out that “tireless fighter for women” link!

From that guy’s perspective (ick) a particularly whorish Daisy might be D. Soros. Soros!

http://www.bates.edu/x66000.xml

Posted by on 02/20 at 05:17 PM
I’m not so sure that “conservatives” would agree with academic principles 2-4; after all, they think that students should have the right not to read challenging work, not to be asked to write about things they don’t already know or believe, etc.

Posted by bitchphd on 02/20 at 05:25 PM
As an sometime patron of strip clubs, years ago, and who has some friends who have worked in the trade, I have never met anyone in any part of the sex business who ever used the name “Daisy”.

Because for many, many people from the Midwest, the word “Daisy” implies “cow”. I don’t remember what kids’ book or cartoon it is from. But I’ll bet 6 out of 10 people living between the Alleghenies and the Rockies would say “cow”, if asked “What kind of animal gets named ‘Daisy’?”

I did know one dancer who called herself “Janie” as a stage name, because “that way I’m unique; who ELSE is going to be called ‘Janie’?”

I don’t want to say this as a rule, but of those men who WRITE dumb things about women’s issues, they all seem to be the kind of guys who were always picked last for every team. So they spent a lot of time bulking up by benchpressing the Collected Library of Ayn Rand—lifting and reading and ‘thinking’ and lifting—until they were HARD. Hard as a man could be, like a pasty, acene’d hybrid of George Will and Mark McGwire. And they were still picked last because while HARD, they still couldn’t pass, score, block or catch.

Those who could pass, score, block and catch might have THOUGHT the same things as dopes like Mike Adams, but they weren’t quite dumb enough to write it down as a philosophy.

Posted by MoXmas on 02/20 at 05:51 PM
It’s mind-boggling that any wingnut can argue that Penn State has an unconstitutional speech code, when the University allows a PREACHER to stand in front of a building and evangelize to its students. For more information on the man who likes to inform students on a daily basis that they are bound for hell, especially if you’re gay, see:Willard Preacher.

Posted by on 02/20 at 06:10 PM
How could he not have been thinking about HAL 9000 revisiting the first song ever played on a non-mechanical computer--Daisy Bell? Then again i just love Shasta Daisy‘s, which, when in Spring full bloom on the flanks of Mt Shasta, create some of the most beautiful landscape views imagineable.

and my captcha word is too perfect: “college” as in the place where wingnuttery so desperately desires domination.

Posted by on 02/20 at 06:43 PM
Oddly enough, the Mercedes he was thinking of was none other than Mercedes Baker Whittington, hapless wife of hapless Harry Whittington, and apparently sister of the not-hapless James A. Baker III (yes him).

The Coco he was thinking about was the late actor James Coco (or possibly Imogene… I’m not sure). The Jasmine he was thinking of was the heroine of Aladdin.

And the Daisy he was thinking of was, of course, Daisy Duke.

Or was it Daisy Duck?

Posted by the talking dog on 02/20 at 06:55 PM
As a UNCW alumnus, let me apologize to all you nice people out there. It’s really a good college in many ways. (Tuition there and at all the schools in the system was something like $1500/year in the mid-90s, btw.)

Posted by Jonathan on 02/20 at 06:58 PM
Oklahoma State has a library lawn preacher, too, Preacher Bob. I don’t think he has his own website. Or his own car.
I liked the line at the end of the PSU Collegian article: “it is difficult for conservatives to get their opinions out there.” Yeah, that is definitely the problem these days.

Posted by on 02/20 at 07:09 PM
Why couldn’t the American men put the bisquit in the basket??

Posted by on 02/20 at 07:09 PM
Because for many, many people from the Midwest, the word “Daisy” implies “cow”.

I usually think of the Bumsteads’ dog.

Gee, I hope Dr Adams doesn’t mention his opinions on feminism while teaching criminology. Because I understand there are rules about that sort of thing these days.

Posted by on 02/20 at 07:10 PM
Remember it is our job to be civil to them for them civility is a one way street.

Well, Steve, I was being civil. I even suggested we kneel and bow, for goodness’ sake.

I’m not so sure that “conservatives” would agree with academic principles 2-4; after all, they think that students should have the right not to read challenging work, not to be asked to write about things they don’t already know or believe, etc.

Good point, Dr. B. Some of them need to be protected from Rick Moody, some from Daisy Miller. That’s what “academic freedom” is all about! And speaking of freedom. . . .

It’s mind-boggling that any wingnut can argue that Penn State has an unconstitutional speech code, when the University allows a PREACHER to stand in front of a building and evangelize to its students.

Well, sure, Katherine, we’re blessed with Gary Cattell the Willard Preacher. But that’s only because Penn State students, staff, and faculty have no other opportunity to hear the viewpoint of an evangelical Christian. Now, if Cattell were a shrill liberal economist like that Krugman fellow, then we’d have a constitutional issue on our hands.

And I can’t believe I forgot about Daisy Duke. There go my chances of serving as Obama’s VP in 2016. But 2001, that I thought about. So I still have a lock on the geek vote.

Posted by Michael on 02/20 at 07:16 PM
Hey, get this: the subtitle of Dr. Adams’ book (main title: The Ivory Tower of Babel) is Confessions of a Conservative College Professor. And they call us Stalinists.

And how dare he use the beautiful Bedford Hours illustration of the Tower of Babel for his cover. I bet he doesn’t even know its provenance or what a Book of Hours is. Hmph.

Posted by Dr. Virago on 02/20 at 07:19 PM
Gee, I hope Dr Adams doesn’t mention his opinions on feminism while teaching criminology. Because I understand there are rules about that sort of thing these days.

Dr. Mike is less concerned about those kind of rules than you might think.

Posted by julia on 02/20 at 07:26 PM
Oh, and I found Dr. Adams’ syllabus for Intro. to Criminal Justice really interesting reading, so I thought I’d share.

Posted by Dr. Virago on 02/20 at 07:46 PM
And I’ll go ahead and apologize for coming from the same suburban hellhole that spawned Dr. Adams; apparently graduating with a 1.8 GPA (6 years before I did) and dropping out of community college is a recipe for conservauthoritarian success.

Posted by norbizness on 02/20 at 08:37 PM
Wow, Dr. V,

I was seriously hoping that somehow that syllabus was a joke. For those of you who don’t care to click on links, I’d like to share Assignment # 2:

1. Tell me about the worst thing you have ever done. This may have been a felony or just a misdemeanor. Maybe it was just something really deviant.

No, seriously, just tell him about the deviant parts.

<shudder>

Although I suppose we can’t ask too much from someone who lists their “Professional Associations” as the National Association of Scholars and the National Rifle Association.

Posted by on 02/20 at 08:43 PM
Because I’m not too bright and because I’ve been conditioned to respond to orders from authority without thinking, I think I know why wingnuts are so offended by the Penn State Principles. Being unable to grasp the concept of layers like myself, they think that respecting the dignity of others means they must respect the dignity of people they don’t like inside their own heads as well as in real life, and that hurts!

I think the statement of principles should be rewritten in way you put it, “Play nice, don’t cheat, don’t get drunk and smash things...” That’s something people like me can handle without getting confused or feeling like our core values are under attack.

Posted by Ronald Brak on 02/20 at 09:18 PM
I rather like the idea of the NRA as a professional association…

Re the syllabus, assignments 1 and 2 are anonymous. Still, I’m wondering about the classroom exercises that follow assignment #1.

Despite these entertaining features, note the limited reading “In addition to lectures there may be a few short assigned articles...” and the fact that grading is exclusively based on three multiple-choice tests.

Posted by on 02/20 at 09:24 PM
Surely there is no Daisy less feminist than Daisy Mae. Don’t know where in Dogpatch one would get a two-dollar table dance nor can I imagine Daisy there. Don’t know that I’d want word getting back to Mammy Yokum that I’d called Daisy a two-dollar ‘ho either.

Posted by black dog barking on 02/20 at 09:25 PM
There’s “Inside Daisy Clover” which was nominated for 3 Oscars. I suspect the story made him blush, though. Maybe squirm, too

Posted by on 02/20 at 09:36 PM
Also from the syllabus, discussing the rules for disputation of answers deemed incorrect:

“Do not try to argue your point during class. Instead, make your point in writing and slip it under my door.”

Slip it under his door? Is he worried about one-to-one conferences? Who’s got the power here, the professor or the student?

Posted by Linkmeister on 02/20 at 09:38 PM
Can you spell voyeur,, Dr. Mike? For someone who is “unmanned” by the very mention of the proper term for the female genitalia, you certainly have some interesting pedagogical proclivities....

And Linkmeister, this slipping under the door thing plainly is associated with Dr. Mike’s closeted infatuation with J. Edgar “the information vacuum Power/Knowledge Hoover.”

Posted by on 02/20 at 10:02 PM
black dog barking: Earthquake McGoon is my favorite Lil Abner character. In fact I am thinking of starting an Earthquake McGoon Studies department. Able to exist in a Ben Jonson play as easily as in the WWF (does it still exist?) of 2006, E. MCG. is a creation (obsolete word) not subject to historicist methodology, as he is what the New Critics used to call a timeless work of art. You can talk about the obsolescence of the author, but Earthquake McGoon knows no ob-see-less-ense, nohow!!!!

Posted by on 02/20 at 10:22 PM
Well, Daisy Duck did wander around naked below the waist, but then so did Donald (except, for some reason, while swimming, when he wore a modest costume).

Taking a more scientific slant, going to the data at the international adult film database (http://www.iafd.com/) we find that “daisy” appears in the titles of nine films, 38 actresses, and one director, “mercedes” has 42 actresses but only 4 films, while “jasmine” has 53 and 8 and is a clear winner. However, coming closer to home (as it were), “Laura” has 15 and 127 and outranks all of them.

And who would have thought that jessica tandy was such a turn-on?

1. Crazy For Daisy, 2005
2. Daisy Chain, 1984
3. Daisy May, 1979
4. Drivin’ Miss Daisy Crazy,1990
5. Drivin’ Miss Daisy Crazy Again,1992
6. Driving Ms. Daisy,2003
7. Playing With Daisy,2005
8. Daisy Chain,2002
9. Riding Miss Daisy,1989

Performers

Directors
1. Daisy Chain
Year Active: 2000
Titles: 1

Females
1. Daisy Chain
Years Active: 1998-2005
Titles: 116
2. Jenna Jameson
aka: Daisy, Daisy Holliday
Years Active: 1993-2005
Titles: 116
3. Daisy
aka: Daisy, Daisey, Daisy Marie
Years Active: 2002-2005
Titles: 70
4. Sandi Carey
aka: Daisy Lay
Years Active: 1970-1987
Titles: 45
5. Daisy Dukes
aka: Melissa Milano
Years Active: 2001-2005
Titles: 34
6. Daisy
Years Active: 2001-2002
Titles: 20
7. Daisy Fox
Years Active: 2000-2004
Titles: 19
8. Natali
aka: Nattali, Daisy
Years Active: 2001-2005
Titles: 17
9. Daisy
Years Active: 2001-2005
Titles: 10
10. Daisy Love
aka: ?? Rain, Heaven
Year Active: 1997
Titles: 9
11. Daisy
Years Active: 2003-2004
Titles: 6
12. Daisy
Years Active: 1997-2000
Titles: 5
13. Daisy
Years Active: 2000-2002
Titles: 5
14. Daisy
Years Active: 1998-1999
Titles: 4
15. Daisy McLane
aka: Daisey McClane, Daisey McLane
Years Active: 2003-2004
Titles: 4
16. Daisy Sinclair
Years Active: 1994-1999
Titles: 4
17. Daisy
Year Active: 1995
Titles: 3
18. Daisy
Years Active: 2002-2004
Titles: 3
19. Daisey Dahl
aka: Daisy Innosense
Year Active: 1997
Titles: 2
20. Daisy
Year Active: 2002
Titles: 2
21. Daisy
Year Active: 1994
Titles: 2
22. Daisy Dean
Year Active: 2005
Titles: 2
23. Daisy Jackson
Year Active: 1999
Titles: 2
24. Daisy Starr
Year Active: 2001
Titles: 2
25. Daisy Thomas
Year Active: 2002
Titles: 2
26. Daisy Tyler
Years Active: 2000-2001
Titles: 2
27. Daisy
Year Active: 1996
Titles: 1
28. Daisy
Year Active: 1997
Titles: 1
29. Daisy
Year Active: 1999
Titles: 1
30. Daisy
Year Active: 2004
Titles: 1
31. Daisy
Year Active: 1998
Titles: 1
32. Daisy Jones
Year Active: 1992
Titles: 1
33. Daisy Jones
Year Active: 2001
Titles: 1
34. Daisy Mae
Year Active: 1978
Titles: 1
35. Daisy Margarita
Year Active: 2003
Titles: 1
36. Daisy Mayo
Year Active: 1991
Titles: 1
37. Daisy Miles
Year Active: 1994
Titles: 1
38. Daisy Romero
Year Active: 1999
Titles: 1

Reviews

1. Devon and Daisy (DVD)
Reviewed by astroknight
Site: Adult DVD Talk

Posted by Chris B on 02/20 at 10:25 PM
Dr. Mike is less concerned about those kind of rules than you might think.

OK, thanks to the invaluable Julia in comment 17, I’ve finally gotten a chance to read Dr. Adams’s amazing true-life story of one conservative’s persecution at the hands of the liberal PC mafia, and as a result, I now have to revise my theory of How Wingnuts Are Created. So Adams isn’t just “I used to be a liberal, but after 9/11, I’m really outraged by Chappaquiddick.” He’s “I used to be a liberal, but then my fiancé-to-be (who was secretary of the North Carolina Federation of College Republicans and a student at my college at the time) and I mailed a bunch of vile, threatening emails to a liberal student just after 9/11, and I complained that my free speech was being infringed, and I got picked up by the Heritage Foundation on one of their bottom-feeding trawls, and then when this student graduated, I married her, and now I’m really outraged by Chappaquiddick.”

Also The Vagina Monologues. Because the play degrades women. Got it.

But just for the record, Julia, Dr. Professor Adams didn’t do anything wrong. If, however, the secretary of the North Carolina Federation of College Republicans had been a box turtle, then we’d have an ethical dilemma on our hands.

That syllabus is another matter. Dr. V., Marita, C, and Linkmeister, I have to admit I’ve never seen a professor’s syllabus that included a “tell me your deviant secret” assignment. You know, I’m thinking Dr. Adams has given UNCW’s general counsel a couple of sleepless nights.

Posted by Michael on 02/20 at 10:30 PM
When I hear the name Coco, I think of Coco Crisp. Maybe he works the Wilmington strip clubs in the off-season.

My answer to Assignment #1, Question 4 from the good professor’s course: The syllabus for Introduction to Criminal Justice.

Perhaps Professor Adams’ complaints about the Penn State Principles if they were replaced by Steve Martin’s Non-Conformist’s Oath.

Posted by JDC on 02/20 at 10:31 PM
Insert “would be addressed” between “Principles” and “if.”

Posted by JDC on 02/20 at 10:45 PM
Good lord that syllabus. Since the syllabus looks pretty hoary (O. J. Simpson? Your average college student was, what, 8 or 9 years old during that trial. Why would they care?), and since the professor’s work looks to be limited to grading three multiple choice tests, I hope Dr Mike is teaching 4/4. Otherwise he has no excuse.

Dr V, you missed the fourth page, which, iirc, went something like this:

Draw a picture of yourself naked.

NO EXCUSES WILL BE ACCEPTED. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. SLIDE IT UNDERNEATH THE THIRD STALL ON THE RIGHT.

Posted by on 02/20 at 11:15 PM
When I hear the name Coco, I think of Ms. Channel. And everybody knows she was a big o’ ho.

Posted by Roxanne on 02/20 at 11:17 PM
I think bringing Coco Chanel’s whoring into it may be a Godwin’s Law violation

Posted by julia on 02/20 at 11:22 PM
Not to mention the fact that the term “ho” has been forbidden on this blog, even during ~~Christmas~~ the holidays, lest NYU Stdnt/ Cool Dad/ Gerald Ferguson/ jaded youth/ Cheasy/ Wigman/ Peace/ Multiple Personality Disorder Troll return to haunt the comments section.

Posted by Michael on 02/20 at 11:29 PM
Well, this certainly sheds more light on what your dealing with on your campus. It look’s entertaining from a distance

Posted by Virgil Johnson on 02/20 at 11:46 PM
What, you mean the blast-ended skrewts? I think every campus has ‘em.

Posted by on 02/20 at 11:47 PM
well, Michael, if that word has been banned, can we still use “Table Dancer”?
And as far as black dog barking’s point goes, I’d think you WOULD be able to get a $2 table dance in Dogpatch--Moonbeam McSwine might oblige, but we would all prefer to have it done by Stupefyin’ Jones.

Posted by david ross mcirvine on 02/20 at 11:54 PM
What’s a table dancer? And will this be on Dr. Adams’s final exam?

Posted by on 02/20 at 11:56 PM
When I hear “Daisy,” I think of HAL singing…

Speaking of which I’ve long wanted to say this to to He Who Must Not Be Named (with a Three-Letter Nickname).

Posted by on 02/21 at 12:01 AM
"blast-ended skrewts”—jeez, I had to google to find out what those are. I’m so old.

Speaking of that, in my day they just told us “A Brown Man is a Gentleman.” Does everyone really have .PDF speech codes now? Or would business schools have .PPT?

(It’s not that bad; those other types around campus were called “Pembroke Women” back then. Well, maybe “Pembroke Girls.")

Posted by on 02/21 at 12:13 AM
"What’s a table dancer? And will this be on Dr. Adams’s final exam?”

Why, Michael, you sound positively...stupefied.

/gravity’s rainbow humor on

I can tell that Doctor Jones has been by to see *your* little thing.

/gravity’s rainbow humor off

Posted by on 02/21 at 12:18 AM
Ben Alpers wrote:

http://www.palantir.net/2001/tma1/wav/daisy.wav

Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

captcha word: table

Posted by dave mcirvine on 02/21 at 12:21 AM
Yes, yes we have them to....but we have not had the distinction of Dr Mike Adams visiting yet. hehe Maybe soon

Posted by Virgil Johnson on 02/21 at 12:28 AM
*If* the guy is teaching like 200 students in this class with no TAs, then the multiple-guess exams, and maybe even the request not to argue test questions in class, are halfway defensible. What pisses me off is when people who teach these ... shall we say, non-rigorous classes turn around and accuse other people of debasing the academy.

Posted by on 02/21 at 12:42 AM
Ah, C, but other people are always debasing the academy. As Raymond Williams put it almost fifty years ago, the debasers of the academy are always other people.

Posted by on 02/21 at 12:43 AM
When I insult you, I don’t want to be bothered by any “principles” or codes of “civility.” When you insult me, I’m going to try to get the legislature to enact laws to punish your obvious bias.

Posted by on 02/21 at 08:46 AM
One more thing—I don’t know what Dr. Adams is complaining about; he and the Radical Christian Right have used the idea behind the first principle to their advantage, as in no one is respecting their beliefs. You know, we hate them for their Christianity and conservative values.

If we really wanted to detonate their heads, we’d act to change the meaning of liberal bias from “one who sees things through a liberal prism” to “one who stereotypes and oppresses liberals.”

captcha word: tax, which I guess means we should change the meaning of liberal bias and raise taxes if we want to maximize the explosions.

Posted by on 02/21 at 09:15 AM
david ross mcirvine,

I spent the walk home last night with the simple mysteries of Dogpatch, Kickapoo Joy Juice, General Bullmoose, quality control at the mattress factory. Odd how, in memory, those times were safer, when our enemies threatened only to rain thermonuclear fire on us, before they discovered boxcutters.

Earthquake McGoon has munged somehow with Popeye’s bad guys in my memories but it took less than two blocks to recall Mammy’s raised finger, its total and final authority: “Ah has spoken.”

Posted by black dog barking on 02/21 at 09:44 AM
I think the Daisy, Mercedes, Coco, and Jasmine the Dr. Professor are likely from his personal experience. A Dr. Professor always remembers his first few stripper dry humps.

Posted by on 02/21 at 10:43 AM
For what it’s worth, The FIRE lists Penn as a RED LIGHT university for it’s “clear[] restrict[ion on] freedom of speech”.

Posted by Aaron Swartz on 02/21 at 11:25 AM
Do we have a mole in North Carolina to whom we can e-mail all our tales of deviance so that he or she can print them out and slide them under The Good Pervfessor’s door? I, for one, could use the creative outlet.

Captcha: dead. Gah!

Posted by Orange on 02/21 at 12:19 PM
"Dear Professor Adams:

I’ve read in magazines about this happening, but I never thought this could happen to me. The other day I was home alone from school, lounging around in my silk thong and feather vest, and the electrician knocked at the window. I was hot out, so...”

“Dear Professor Adams:

I killed a man with my bare hands.”

“Dear Professor Adams:

Well, I’m sure you’ve heard the story of Oedipus Rex....”

I gotta remember to assign this to MY students.

Posted by Ur Err on 02/21 at 01:01 PM
Do you think Prof. Adams’ students would be confident that he’s heard the story of Oedipus?

Posted by Orange on 02/21 at 01:05 PM
For what it’s worth, The FIRE lists Penn as a RED LIGHT university for it’s “clear[] restrict[ion on] freedom of speech”.

Yep, and I can tell you precisely what that’s worth. They list, first among our infractions, “Pennsylvania State University: Disciplining of Professor for Pro-War Remarks.” The professor in question was a Math professor and a devotee of Ayn Rand who felt compelled to announce on his Penn State home page, “I am an American mathematician. I am a professor in the Mathematics Department of Penn State University. I favor all-out war against the countries that sponsor terrorist acts against the United States.” He provided a link to a site called reasonvsterrorism.com, which included some seriously eliminationist material (access to the archives of which has since been blocked by the site owner). OK, so some of his students complained, and the then-Vice Provost wrote him a letter saying that his comments were “insensitive and perhaps even intimidating.” He was never “disciplined”; he was never even asked to alter his home page.

The letter from President Spanier to FIRE, available (!) on FIRE’s website, reads, in part,

I’ve reviewed the email exchange in question, and it did not appear to me that it was an attack on free speech for Vice Provost Secor to have passed on to Professor Simpson the concerns of students in response to Professor Simpson’s home page. In a time of heightened emotions and nationalism, some of our students have expressed fear of retaliation and discrimination based on their race, ethnicity, religion or country of origin. Some of the students in Mr. Simpson’s class apparently were not comfortable expressing directly to their professor their unease about statements that they felt encouraged the suffering and deaths of innocent peoples from Moslem countries.

Vice Provost Secor felt, and I concur, that it was on the side of responsibility to both the students and to Professor Simpson to forward him the students’ concerns. At the same time, Vice Provost Secor left any resulting action up to Professor Simpson. He did not make any recommendations concerning removing or changing his statement, and when Professor Simpson replied that there would be no change, Vice Provost Secor took no further action. Interestingly, an Associated Press story last week that talked about cases in universities where the administration did apply sanctions in similar cases implied, in closing with the Penn State response, that our University was the one most sensitive to issues of free speech, quoting Vice Provost Secor “‘There was no action, there was no reprimand,’ Secor said. ‘We have to be very careful about protecting the rights of free speech, and we do.’”

Rest assured that Mr. Simpson’s right to express his views on the web are not in question. He has not been asked to remove or alter any of the information that has been posted to date, and there have been and will be no attempts to suppress his views. Against, thank you for sharing your concerns. As always, the protection of free speech and academic freedom remain priorities at Penn State.

You read that right: the Vice Provost alerts a professor to the fact that his students are alarmed by the material on his Penn State home page, takes no action (and explicitly says he will take no action), and FIRE calls this a “red light” violation of free speech. If you want evidence that FIRE has gone right over the cliff, there it is.

Posted by Michael on 02/21 at 01:28 PM
black dog barking wrote:

“david ross mcirvine,

I spent the walk home last night with the simple mysteries of Dogpatch, Kickapoo Joy Juice, General Bullmoose, quality control at the mattress factory. Odd how, in memory, those times were safer, when our enemies threatened only to rain thermonuclear fire on us, before they discovered boxcutters.

Earthquake McGoon has munged somehow with Popeye’s bad guys in my memories but it took less than two blocks to recall Mammy’s raised finger, its total and final authority: “Ah has spoken.””

My mom told me Al Capp was a right-winger, but, like you, I was taken by the vividness of Dogpatch and its characters, and I didn’t really see political subtext. Back then, only *Pogo* was obviously political to me.

The NAMES of Capp’s characters impressed me. They sounded good. LIke you, I remember little about Earthquake McGoon, but his was one of those names,
like Senator Phogbound, that made me laugh on hearing it.

the captcha word was puzzling: it was “youre.” With no apostrophe. Weird enough, and tantalizingly close to being “yore,” which would have been perfect for a Lil Abner and Sunday funnies nostalgia.

I hope your reminiscences were sweet. I often walked home across the dark and swampy terrain around the railroad tracks, in Charlottesville, VA.

Hey, in discussing non-feminists named Daisy, have we mentioned Dagwood and Blondie’s dog? Daisy’s reactions were my favorite part of the strip.

Posted by david ross mcirvine on 02/21 at 02:14 PM
"the Uncensored Adams is an exclusive DrAdams.org feature. Below, we have posted articles that were rejected for publication elsewhere.

January 9: My fear of trans-gendered lesbian albinos”

eewwwwwwwww!!!!

I checked his web site and I was curious. Why doesn’t he list any academic achievements like degrees and such. Can I just make shit up and claim I am a “doctor” too? I have a degree in physics, does that make me a physicist? If he’s just a lying winger then maybe nobody hung “ racist posters on campus showing Condi Rice standing in a cage holding a bunch of bananas” and maybe the “department secretary” wasn’t “ criticizing her husband for his inability to maintain an erection.” Maybe the secretary was just trying to get into the big virile winger’s pants.

Posted by on 02/21 at 03:13 PM
Oh look- he goes hunting on those game farm thingies like big Dick.

http://www.dradams.org/hunt.html

Many of his friends manage to assasinate large drugged mammals. Maybe Mikey did too but his looks suspiciously like his friends’deer in one of the previous pictures.

Posted by on 02/21 at 03:22 PM
"For the record, let it be known that I do not talk about methods of trans-gendered law enforcement in any of my classes”

WTF?

Posted by on 02/21 at 03:26 PM
He hides his degrees at the school’s website:

BA 1987 Mississippi State University Psychology
MS 1989 Mississippi State University Social Psychology
PhD 1993 Mississippi State University Sociology/Criminology

No mention of any advanced studies in transgendered lesbian albinism. But wait a minute: How many transgendered individuals identify as lesbians? I suppose there are some, but I fear Doctah Adams’ grasp of LGBT issues is less than impressive.

Posted by Orange on 02/21 at 03:26 PM
have we mentioned Dagwood and Blondie’s dog?

Uh, David, I really wouldn’t go there if I were you. Adams is bad enough without dragging the entire thread into Santorumistan.

Posted by on 02/21 at 03:49 PM
OT as usual, but I gotta say, I don’t have a dog in the Penn State tribulations. And culling something from a post below, any professor who is stupid enough to ask his students to write a “paragraph” (a god-damned paragraph) about Michael Moore’s 9/11 is too stupid to be teaching kindergarten.

You want controversy, try “A Modest Proposal.”

Posted by on 02/21 at 04:03 PM
Dear Professor Adams: I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

Posted by on 02/21 at 05:04 PM
is too stupid to be teaching kindergarten.

doug, how about restating your rather pedestrian opinion withouth the sidelong slander of my wife’s profession?

Posted by Chris Clarke on 02/21 at 05:29 PM
So the constitutionality of this university’s principles is at issue. What does requiring that I make “other community members to feel safe or welcome” do to my ability to speak freely, express political opinion, worship freely, and assemble freely? On its face the principle is, if someone objects, I must self-censor. This turns the principles expressed in the Bill of Rights on their heads: no longer does application of these principles limit the encroachment of government (or school admins) upon my individual rights, now they empower the government (or school admins) to force me to bend to their will, in order not to violate the school’s principles. I call “Malarky!” Get the brooms!

Posted by on 02/21 at 05:33 PM
Interesting point, Mike in Austin. But you’re saying you see no difference between “government (or school admins),” and therefore no specifically educational purpose to universities? So that university statements about civility have the same force as prior restraint of speech by the state? And universities are not permitted to place a priority on their educational mission, and ask students to do the same while they are in attendance?

Posted by Michael on 02/21 at 05:44 PM
Oh, and could someone (preferably Doug) tell me what Doug means by culling something from a post below, any professor who is stupid enough to ask his students to write a “paragraph” (a god-damned paragraph) about Michael Moore’s 9/11 is too stupid to be teaching kindergarten? Thanks.

Posted by Michael on 02/21 at 05:48 PM
46: Au contraire. I’m quite willing to admit that I, personally, am debasing the academy, simply by virtue of the amount of time I spend not doing research.

Posted by bitchphd on 02/21 at 06:19 PM
Oh, and could someone (preferably Doug) tell me what Doug means by “culling something from a post below, any professor who is stupid enough to ask his students to write a “paragraph” (a god-damned paragraph) about Michael Moore’s 9/11 is too stupid to be teaching kindergarten?” Thanks

OK, so I’m decidedly not Doug, but if I had to take a stab at it, I’d say he’s reaching back to post 36 in Autocratic but fun Friday, which discusses more of the antics of those crazy Students for Academic Freedom kids.

Posted by on 02/21 at 07:00 PM
Aha! Thanks, Marita. Caught with a goaltender’s keen eyesight.

Captcha word: left.

Posted by Michael on 02/21 at 07:38 PM
have we mentioned Dagwood and Blondie’s dog?
--david ross mcirvine

Uh, David, I really wouldn’t go there if I
were you. Adams is bad enough without
dragging the entire thread into Santorumistan.
--Michael

I note that ROBW mentioned the Bumsteads’ dog first, up in comment 14, before david did.

This thread now complies with academic honesty standards.

Posted by mr beasley on 02/21 at 08:12 PM
If you want evidence that FIRE has gone right over the cliff, there it is.

That case makes a nice contrast with their behavior regarding the MEALAC controversy at Columbia last year, where they came in on the side of the Horowitzistas.

Posted by on 02/22 at 12:53 AM
It does indeed, Kalkin. Thanks for making the link—and the contrast—between the FIRE that supports anti-Muslim math professors who are not “disciplined” by their administrations, and the FIRE that argues that certain pro-Palestinian professors need to be disciplined by their administrations.

Posted by Michael on 02/22 at 01:04 AM
in re 65: wouldn’t your argument hold equally well if you were objecting to the university requiring you to be toilet trained?

A student enters a university to learn. Unless you think some form of heinleinian survivalist armed anarchy is an appropriate atmosphere for learning, “don’t threaten your classmates” seems like a reasonable place to start protecting the education they, and presumably you since you take all this so very personally, are paying for.

A small clue: the reason people go to a university is to learn stuff they don’t already know. One of the things you might want to consider learning is that probably comparatively few of (putatively) ‘your’ classmates are paying in the five figures to catch the shrapnel from your personal issues.

Posted by julia on 02/22 at 02:43 AM
My local peep show joint out on Route 1 actually has a long time “Girl” named Mercedes. I hear she has an amazing assortment of tattoos. But they currently don’t have a Coco or a Daisy or even a Jasmine, however.

Posted by Tim Horrigan on 02/22 at 11:16 AM
Don’t get drunk and break things? It’s political correctness run amok, I tells ya!

Posted by on 02/24 at 04:12 PM

Next entry: We Await Silent Tristero's Empire

Previous entry: Bush's chat with novelist alarms environmentalists, Christian groups

<< Back to main

A matter of principle

These Comments Are Aware of All Your Sublime and Funky Internet Traditions

Monthly Archives

Most recent entries

Syndicate