ABF Friday: National Review edition!
The jury has reached a verdict . . . and without further ado, we bring you
THE TOP TEN CONSERVATIVE REGGAE SONGS OF ALL TIME
10. Black Uhuru, “No Loafing”
A stirring call to action from Trenchtown’s most trenchant critics of the welfare state and the culture of dependency it fosters.
9. Burning Spear, “The Fittest of the Fittest”
Winston Rodney (Burning Spear to you and me) is the man Jonah Goldberg should have consulted for his forthcoming work on Herbert Spencer. Because nothing drops the Social Darwinist knowledge so effectively as this bouncy little ditty from the sunny Caribbean.
8. Bob Marley and the Wailers, “Kaya”
“Got to have kaya now/ For the rain is falling.” A haunting hymn about the dangers of drug addiction from someone who’s been there.
7. Junior Murvin, “Police and Thieves”
Later hijacked by the Clash and enlisted in that band’s extreme radical far-left agenda, this lilting melody is actually a powerful testimony to the “broken window” theory of urban social policy.
6. Desmond Dekker, “Israelites”
Not sure what this one is about, but it certainly sounds important.
5. Specials, “Concrete Jungle”
Urban decay and its remedy come together in this hard-hitting two-tone anthem. “I have to carry a knife/ Because there’s people threatening my life.” More knives, less crime!
4. Black Uhuru, “Rent Man”
This moving, somber song reveals the unintended consequences of rent control—for the sufferahs, yes, but also for the rent man himself, who cannot get a fair market price for his investments. Woe to all the downpressors!
3. Jimmy Cliff, “The Harder they Come”
I and I say no fraternity party would be complete without this classic! A fiery song to be played loud every time some cut-and-run liberal talks about the “insurgency” or the “civil” “war” in Iraq. Bring ‘em on! And the harder they come, the harder they fall, one and all. . . .
2. Steel Pulse, “Rally Round the Flag (Worth His Weight in Gold)”
O my people, this one needs no explanation. Climb ye the heights of humanity! Rally round the flag!
1. Peter Tosh, “Stand Firm”
The title alone could be the official motto of George Bush’s presidency, and the searing lyrics suggest some of the core beliefs of the man who leads us through troubled times: “If you want to be in the light son/ You’ve got to love Jesus Christ son.” Faith-based jammin’ from one of the original masters of the genre!
Sorry, NR would never list a song by Jimmy Cliff. He’s Muslim, you know. Although, they probably wouldn’t know that, so maybe they would include it ... this culture stuff is so hard!
Posted by on 08/04 at 02:33 AMHow about for the Log Cabin Republicans - “No Woman, No Cry”?
Or for the New Hampshire Republicans - “(We’re) Jammin’”.
Posted by corndog on 08/04 at 07:18 AMYeah, the Jimmy Cliff pick is a bit hard to believe. It would be like coming up with “50 conservative rock songs” and including Chrissie Hynde’s “My City Was Gone.” No one would fall for that.
Posted by on 08/04 at 09:18 AMWhat about Dennis Brown’s “Man Next Door?” A tribute to the felicities of life in quiet suburban housing developments.
Posted by on 08/04 at 10:04 AMYou forget that NR patron William F. Buckley is long on the record as a Peter Tosh partisan: “Legalize It!”
Posted by Rick Perlstein on 08/04 at 10:13 AMYou know, the Clash made the NR’s original list of rock songs, so their “far-left agenda” may be in some dispute.
Posted by Crazy Little Thing on 08/04 at 10:14 AMAnother Black Uhuru song for the NRA crowd…
The youths of Eglinton
Won’t put down their RemingtonPosted by michaelw on 08/04 at 10:28 AMYou have of course read this Onion article?
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41242
(Sorry, haven’t figured out how to make a link.)
Posted by on 08/04 at 10:31 AMWell, lookie there! It does it for me.
And I have to say that the Marley song the Bush administration most brngs to mind is Burnin’ and Lootin’
“This morning I woke up in a curfew;
O God, I was a prisoner, too - yeah!
Could not recognize the faces standing over me;
They were all dressed in uniforms of brutality.”Posted by on 08/04 at 10:38 AMBob Marley and the Wailers, “One Love”
The soundtrack to college fraternity debauchery and to the dreadlocked loafing of the lifestyle left, this misunderstood Marley hit is actually both a neoconservative anthem ("Let’s get together to fight this Holy Armagiddyon") and a stern admonishment to those who would appropriate it ("There ain’t no hiding place from the Father of Creation").
Posted by on 08/04 at 10:41 AMYeah, the Jimmy Cliff pick is a bit hard to believe.
Of course he also has provided the beleaguered Young Americans for Freedom with their
You Can Get It If You Really WantPersecution you must bear
Win or lose you’ve got to get your sharePosted by on 08/04 at 11:21 AMtheme song
Posted by on 08/04 at 11:23 AMCan’t forget “Get Up, Stand Up,” the anthem for He Of The Truncated Last Name and all the poor, poor oppressed conservative college students and professors.
Posted by on 08/04 at 11:32 AMUmm, the Specials are not reggae. Besides, “Too Much, Too Young” is more along the lines of what you’re going after what with it’s call to abstinence and all.
Of course, it copped a major hook from Lloydie and the Lowbites “Birth Control”.
Posted by on 08/04 at 11:33 AMDeclaration of Rights’ by the Abyssinians. A forceful missive in support of the bill of rights and its curtailment on the size and influence of the federal government.
‘Dem a comin’ also by the Abyssinians. Karl Rove-esque warning ahead of the midterms
‘Your Honour’ by Pluto Shervington. Scooter’s current favourite.
BoomBoom Bye Bye by Buju Banton. At least Buju is honest about his odious homophobia.
If we’re talking the Specials - Ghost Town pretty much describes every town in Iraq Afghanistan and now The Lebanon.
Posted by saltydog on 08/04 at 12:26 PMYou can’t make a list of the Top Ten Reggae anything without including Toots and the Maytals. Especially when they wrote the perfect amthem for the Bush Administration’s attitude twoards the American Public on all isssues, “In the Dark”.
In the dark there ain’t no light
In the dark you will cheat and lie
In the dark you want to fuss and fight
In the dark you will get no lightPosted by on 08/04 at 12:51 PMHow about Redemption Song? In the spirit of Powerline’s editing:
have no fear for atomic energy
I think one or two reggae songs did make it on Miller’s list. He did a follow-up 50, which included Pete Seeger’s Turn, Turn, Turn because the lyrics come from the Bible.
I learned a lesson though. A couple of months ago I posted a list of 50 country music songs, which Miller linked to. Some of the conservative country fans got pretty testy with my list!
Posted by Eric Kirk on 08/04 at 12:53 PMWell, CLT, of course “Rock the Casbah” made their lists, because there are Arabs in it. But I doubt NR listens to anything from “Sandinista.”
And hjshorter, thanks! Someone just sent me that Onion piece by email. Not the first time I’ve found myself working the same side of the street.
I hesitated about the Specials, but finally decided they count. I seriously considered “Legalize It,” “Get Up, Stand Up,” and “You Can Get It if You Really Want.” And now I think we might have to list fifty conservative reggae songs! Movement of jah people!
Posted by Michael on 08/04 at 12:55 PMRage Against the Machine--of the church of liberalism and brainwashing professors, that is!
“Take the Power Back”
So called facts are fraud
They want us to allege and pledge
And bow down to their God
Lost the culture, the culture lost
Spun our minds and through time
Ignorance has taken over
Yo, we gotta take the power back!Posted by on 08/04 at 01:09 PMnot strictly reggae, but i couldn’t resist.
Posted by on 08/04 at 01:15 PMAh, yes, reggae. As popularized by Marley. Jacob Marley, an entrepreneur who sought to maximize return on investment, and wisely avoided the snare of the welfare state, yet after his death unfairly condemned by liberals to wander the earth in chains. Truly a martyr for our times.
Posted by on 08/04 at 01:25 PMI hope the jury will reconvene and place Gregory Isaacs’s “Diplomatic Fools” in the top five.
Posted by on 08/04 at 02:16 PM"not sure what this one is about, but it certainly sounds important”
-that sounds like the catchphrase of your basic “what’s all this then?” newspaper columnist.
-it’s about the Israelite Lobby, silly. They control Trenchtown.
Posted by on 08/04 at 02:38 PMLinton Kwesi Johnson, “Reggae Fi Peach."\
A rousing red state anthem dedicated to the fine state of Georgia.
Posted by zach on 08/04 at 02:46 PMWhat list of conservative reggae faves would be complete without Book of Rules by
William BennetThe Heptones?Posted by on 08/04 at 02:52 PMOr, indeed, Black Uhuru’s version of Somebody’s Watching You?
Posted by on 08/04 at 02:54 PMIf the Specials are in, shouldn’t it be Rat Race or Ghost Town?
Or Racist Friend? Or Do Nothing?
Anyway, The Prophet by Alpha Blondy needs to get in there somehow.Posted by Steinn Sigurdsson on 08/04 at 03:49 PMNo Buffalo Soldier? Win the war for America! Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival. Woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy, woy yoy yoy, yoy yoy yoy-yoy yoy!
captcha: together. You know?
Posted by Blar on 08/04 at 04:01 PMHow about the Slickers’ paean to Sen. McCain, Johnny Too Bad?
Posted by on 08/04 at 04:06 PM"Ghost Town,” “Diplomatic Fools,” “Somebody’s Watching You”—I get the funny feeling that people are trying to salt this list with criticism of the Bush Administration. Well, I’m onto you.
And mathpants, as Michael Ledeen pointed out, anyone who claims that “neoconservatives” control US foreign policy (in Trenchtown or elsewhere) is anti-Semitic. Whatever the hell that Desmond Dekker is on about, we are objectively pro-Israelite. And we’re glad to see that Rastafarians are too.
Posted by Michael on 08/04 at 04:08 PMMutabaruka, “Great Queens of Africa.” What conservative could possibly resist such a stirring tribute to rule by monarchy ?
Posted by on 08/04 at 04:17 PMLinton Kwesi Johnson, “Reggae Fi Peach.”
Zach, you almost beat me to it. LKJ’s “Fite Dem Back” is the obvious choice. While I think that an anti-racist song against skinheads would be a song for my side, I can only imagine that the side that gets so up in arms about the racism of Jesse Jackson and Sen. Byrd and ignores what’s systemic to their own party thinks that we’re the ones whose “brains” need to be “smashed in” because “they ain’t got nofink in ‘em.
Because, to steal from Master P, there ain’t no conservative anthem like a misappropriated leftist anthem. I’m still waiting for Billy Bragg’s ‘World Upside Down’ to appear on the NRO 50 best conservative anti-folk song list....
Captcha: ‘morning,’ as in ‘the cattle are standing like statues...’
Posted by on 08/04 at 04:29 PMIf you’ll stretch to classic calypso, how ‘bout Mighty Sparrow, “No Money No Love”...here’s the mercenary chorus:
We can’t love without money, no
We can’t make love on hungry belly
Johnny you’ll be the only one I am dreaming of
You’re my turtledove,
But...no money, no love.Posted by Penny on 08/04 at 04:52 PMGod Save the Youth of America.
Since this is stretching the boundaries of Reggae, could The Message make an appearance? Or should that wait for the top 10 rap/hip-hop list.Posted by Steinn Sigurdsson on 08/04 at 04:54 PMOh, the rap/hip-hop list is going to be great fun, Steinn. Let’s save “The Message” for later, and let’s give door prizes to the first person who can find something in the Public Enemy oeuvre suitable for a complete and comical misunderstanding by NR. “She Watch Channel Zero,” maybe?
Posted by on 08/04 at 04:57 PMYou’ll be handing out a lot of door prizes, Michael. Public Enemy preaches a lot of conservatism. For starters, there’s Burn Hollywood Burn.
I don’t need to go on.
Posted by Blar on 08/04 at 06:44 PMIt’s,
“Legalize it,
And I will advertise it.”Not so much conservative as corporatist/libertarian, perhaps.
Posted by on 08/04 at 06:49 PMFirst door prize to Blar! Don’t worry, we got a million of ‘em.
Posted by on 08/04 at 07:01 PM911 Is A Joke warns us of the evils of socialized, commie health care.
Posted by on 08/04 at 07:02 PMI’ll go on. I like collecting door prizes.
The Public Enemy oeuvre is full of Personal Responsibility. Can’t Do Nuttin’ For Ya Man:
Can’t face my facts that’s on the shelf
Cause you want a hand out for your wealth
Eatin’ welfare turkey out of the can
I can’t do nuttin’ for ya man
...
You want six dollars for what?
....
I can’t do nuttin’ for ya man
That’s the way the ball bounces geeThey also drop a couple lines on Family Values:
Runnin’ from your wife ... yipes
You should’ve stuck with homeThere’s a more important form of Family Values in Fear of a Black Planet:
She’s a woman I’m a man
Look on your face,
I see ya can’t stand itYou got that, blue America? A woman and a man. One woman plus one man. It isn’t complicated.
They keep up the Personal Responsibility theme in Welcome To The Terrordome:
It’s weak to speak and blame somebody else
When you destroy yourselfWhich is, like all good music, also a Christian song:
Crucifixion ain’t no fiction
911 is a Joke is some good ol’ fashioned bureaucracy bashing:
They only come and they come when they wanna
...
They don’t care ‘cause they stay paid anywayWhat’s the solution? The free market, of course!
911 is a joke we don’t want ‘em
I call a cab ‘cause a cab will come quickerPlus, they find space to hype the fact that we aren’t living up to the Culture of Life:
I call ‘em body snatchers quick they come to fetch ya?
With an autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya
They are the kings ‘cause they swing amputation
Lose your arms, your legs to them it’s compilationIf they’d made it a few years later, I’m sure that there would’ve been something about embryos in there. People who think it’s a liberal song must have ignored the lyrics and misread the title as “9-11 is a joke”.
And they spit conservative foreign policy, too, like this in Power To The People:
Are y’all ready, cause the plan’s in the jam
And we’re ready to roll yo y’all got to tell me
Are y’all ready to go c’mon
(Power to the people)
Had to kick it like that as we roll as one
One under the sun, to all the cities and to the side
Brothers and sisters stateside and the whole worldwide
There it is.
...
You’ve got to understand.
Turn me loose.And it’s not just worldwide democracy promotion. They also have a post-9/11 mindset on the domestic side of antiterrorism. Watch them stick it to the ACLU Left like true PATRIOTs in Fight the Power:
Our “freedom of speech” is freedom or death
We got to fight the powers that be
Lemme hear you say
Fight the power
...
We got to pump the stuff to make us tough
from the heart
It’s a start, a work of art
To revolutionize make a change nothin’s strange
...
Cause we don’t know the game
What we need is awareness, we can’t get carelessAnd that’s all from just one of their CDs (that link gives you all the lyrics, although there are some transcription errors that I corrected, and probably some more that I didn’t catch).
Captcha: married, as in what Polly (of Pollywanacraka) should’ve done:
Now she’s a fine sister
But up here she’s missin’ it
She says she wanna learn about life
No old black bull shit
At the age of 15 a brother gave her a baby
She’s 19 now and it drove her crazyPosted by Blar on 08/04 at 07:30 PMDon’t be selling the Clash short, now: they rock the right as good as any band that isn’t playing anymore and some of its members have since died. I mean, what other conservative punk-reggae-pop fusion band could match “Working For The Clampdown” (come getalong getalong!) as well as that epochal musical slam at liberal self-esteem based pedagogy with its reliance on grade school social promotion. “Rudie Can’t Fail”?
Posted by Chris Clarke on 08/04 at 08:39 PMSpeaking of the Clash, let’s squeeze them in for the all-anti-interpellative lineup for some future arbitrary but fun theory thursday. They can lead off with ‘The Call Up,’ as in ‘It’s up to you not to heed the call up...’
Captcha: ‘distance,’ as in ‘Chickens look like magpies from a...’
Posted by on 08/04 at 09:21 PMThe Clash also advised capitulation to American cultural hegemony in their classic cri de coeur:
I’m so bored with the U...S...A…
But what can I do?Posted by on 08/04 at 10:49 PMPeter Tosh, “Stand Firm” ..... The Viagra Presidency !
Posted by on 08/04 at 10:56 PM"Legalize It” should be on here for a variety of reasons. But for a big reason, the Tosh tune should not be here. Because George Bush doesn’t think he has to legalize anything before he does it. Or something.
Posted by The Heretik on 08/04 at 10:57 PMHeretik, as long as we’re citing the Onion today, I believe the words you’re looking for are right here.
Posted by Michael on 08/04 at 11:00 PMOf course The Specials count as reggae. The point of view is conservative, so you can just claim that “All that jungle music sounds the same to me”. Reggae = Ska = Calypso = House = Blues etc.
I was going to suggest Ghost Town, because it was used as the national anthem in that one episode of Father Ted, and standing up for your national anthem is a conservative virtue.
Posted by on 08/04 at 11:14 PMYou want bureaucracy-bashing, Blar?
“I got a letter from the government the other day. I opened and read it, it said they were suckers.”
Posted by Brooklynite on 08/05 at 07:55 AMWhy avoid the obvious? By limiting ourselves to certain popular genres, we’re missing the most conservative song of all time.
I’m referring of course to the original French version of the Internationale:
L’état comprime et la loi triche
L’impôt saigne le malheureux
Nul devoir ne s’impose au riche
Le droit du pauvre est un mot creux
C’est assez, languir en tutelle
L’égalité veut d’autres lois
Pas de droits sans devoirs dit-elle
Egaux, pas de devoirs sans droitsor in English (translation courtesy of Wikipedia):
The state strangles and the law cheats,
The taxes bleed the disadvantaged in society.
The rich do not shoulder any responsibility;
The rights of the poor is an empty word.
It is enough to decay in servitude,
Equality needs other laws!
No rights without duty, she says,
Conversely, no duty without rights.Pretty much all there. The evil state. Anti-tax sentiment. A denial that the poor have rights. And a reaffirmation that we need to remember that we have duties, not just rights. I expect the GOP to begin playing this one and singing it in French (since this stanza doesn’t appear in any English language version of the song, so far as I know) at their convention, just like they began to play “Happy Days Are Here Again” back in 1980.
(Captcha: “voice” as in Lift Every Voice and Sing, which I’m sure is also a conservative classic if properly parsed.)
Posted by on 08/05 at 09:52 AMHow about Junior Murvin’s “Police And Thieves”?
“Scarin’ the the nation with their guns and ammunition...” It’s a game plan for the Bush Administration.
Or there was a San Francisco band in the eighties, I think they were the Looters, with “Everyone’s A Bigot,” which could be a justification of the BushCo’s civil rights non-policy.
Posted by Bob in Pacifica on 08/05 at 10:38 AMDon’t forget Shorty the President’s paean to executive privilege:
“The President Mash Up the Resident”
Also, the Wailers’ “Bus Dem Shut”...great piece about the futility of public transportation.
Prince Buster’s “Ten Commandments"--awesome primer on the subjugation of women.
Oh, okay, and the Upsetters’ “Kill Them All.”
Posted by rAD on 08/06 at 12:52 AMAs far as conservatives misdigging PE, I think “Miuszi Weigh a Ton” be the one.
Dude, Bush’s next UN address:
It’s unreal, they call the law
And claimed I had started a war
It was war they wanted and war they got
But they wilted in the heat when miuzi got hot...Posted by rAD on 08/06 at 02:20 AMUB40’s “My Way of Thinking” might as well be the Enron fight song:
Give me all you have (Come over)
All you got to give (Come over)
Save your guilt till tomorrow (Come over)
Won’t be that hard to live with...Hmm...one can just imagine Kenneth Lay serenading potential stockholders with this blue-eyed rasta ditty.
Posted by Alex Von Waldenberg on 08/06 at 11:00 AMFrickin; hilarious.
“Vietnam” by Jimmy Cliff. Not sure what the lyrics are about but you can hear the joy and resolve in Cliffs voice which is obviously why napalming the Vietcong was a good thing for the world.
“Crazy Baldhead” and “Rock My Boat” by Marley. Clearly, the first song is a reference to the failed candidacy of Hubert Humphrey while the later predicted the insurgent leftists rocking Liebermans boat.
Anyway....Junior Marvin has been playing local clubs down here in Destin, Fl. You could swear its Marley up there and what a nice guy! During a break, I told him his solo on “Sun is Shining” was my favorite and he said “That one came to me in a dream, mon”. Believe it or not, he doesn’t smoke the spliffs nowdays.
Michael, I’ll be laughing all week over your description of Kaya. Love it!
Posted by on 08/06 at 09:12 PMHmm, I’m a huge reggae fan, but rastas certainly walk a strange line between being socialists and, well, religious conservatives. I’ve heard several reggae songs with blatant homophobia, but how about the charming number by The Heptones, I’ve Got the Handle (which they make sound so sweet):
I’ve got the handle baby,
You’ve got the blade
So don’t try to fight now baby cuz,
You’ll need first aid
Conservatives must salivate over that kind of male-dominant relationship.
Posted by on 08/06 at 10:10 PMHow about “Vote for we” by Clint Eastwood and General Saint, and why doesn’t iTunes have that anyway…
Posted by Steinn Sigurdsson on 08/07 at 11:29 AMSeriously, not ironically, I’ve always though that “You Can Get It If You Really Want” has a happy-face Horatio Alger feel to it. I think it’s a real defect, perhaps imposed by the producer.
“Sittin here in Limbo”, “By the Waters of Babylon”, “Pressure Drop”, “Downpresser Man”—that’s the real stuff.
Posted by John Emerson on 08/07 at 12:43 PMNominate LITTLE VILLAGE‘s calypso/reggae song:
Do You Want My Job. Afterall, somebody has to clean up the plutonium and it might as well be them; you know the people with other than lily white skin.Posted by on 08/07 at 12:50 PM"Woman is like a shadow...Man is like An Arrow”...The Meditations
Posted by annie on 08/07 at 10:35 PM
Next entry: A shorter post
Previous entry: For a good time, call
These Comments Are Aware of All Your Sublime and Funky Internet Traditions
This is the "comments" page of American Airspace, where you may rear your head with impunity. Well, sometimes there might be punity. It depends.
Site manager and web administrator: Kurt Nelson, Blusparx Consulting: kurt.nelson at gmail dot com.
And no, that's not me in that photo. That's the Hansons, of course! Hey coach -- our line starts?
Monthly Archives
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
- July 2005
- June 2005
- May 2005
- April 2005
- March 2005
- February 2005
- January 2005
- December 2004
- November 2004
- October 2004
- September 2004
- August 2004
- July 2004
- June 2004
- May 2004
- April 2004
- March 2004
- February 2004
- January 2004
- August 1993
- January 1985
- Complete Archives
- Category Archives
Most recent entries
- Would health care reform help you?
- We interrupt this hiatus in progress
- Des plus brillants exploits
- Postel Friday
- All the years of useless search have finally reached an end
- Do you believe in unlikelihoods?
- AFF Friday
- Evan Bayh lashes out at Congress, gridlock
- Guns and puppies
- ABF Friday: Special Science Fiction Edition!
- Snow snow snow snow snow
- Mister Answer Man Answered
- Mister Answer Man: Special Nawlins Edition!
- Employee of the day
- Life writing