All the President’s Men Again
STARRING . . .
JAMES CAAN as I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby
ALSO STARRING:
JOHN LITHGOW as Karl Rove
LOUISE LASSER as Judith Miller
PAUL GIAMATTI as Matt Cooper
MATTHEW BRODERICK as Patrick Fitzgerald
ALBERT FINNEY as Joseph Wilson
RANDY QUAID as Tim Russert
DON S. DAVIS as Dick Cheney
LORNE GREENE as Robert Novak
and
LISA KUDROW as Valerie Plame
Hey, isn’t Lorne Greene dead? (Drumroll, rimshot, cymbal (Paiste) crash.)
On a serious note, looking forward to the book. I really enjoyed the first two books, ever thought of a Public Access-style look at the Internets?
Posted by on 10/29 at 09:18 PMNo no no. Parker Posey was born to play Judith Miller.
Posted by Doctor Memory on 10/29 at 10:20 PMHey, isn’t Lorne Greene dead? (Drumroll, rimshot, cymbal (Paiste) crash.)
That’s what makes him so perfect for Novakula, son.
Posted by on 10/29 at 11:29 PMjoe wilson has a lot more sex appeal than Albert Finney. esp if he snagged Kudrow.
Posted by on 10/30 at 12:11 AMI just don’t see James Caan playing anyone named Scooter.
Posted by Dr. Drang on 10/30 at 01:13 AMGood one, Doctor Memory, but Parker, bless her heart, would need to be about twenty-five years older. Besides, Miller’s haircut is a perfect Mary-Hartman-sans-braids.
And Dr. Drang, James Caan was in Rollerball. He can play Scooter.
Posted by on 10/30 at 01:34 AMNo.
You need to cast Terrance Howard as Patrick Fitzgerald.Posted by on 10/30 at 02:54 AMMarcia Gay Harden would be a killer Judy. But that runs the risk of making Judy more compelling than she deserves.
Posted by on 10/30 at 04:38 AMSpecial cameo for Freddie Prinze, Jr, as Chief Warrant Officer Richard Gonzalez, whom Judy was “embedded with” in Iraq, and who liked to exchange clothes with Judy.
Too bad Brad Davis died; based on his portrayal of Captain Queeg in the Caine Mutiny TV-movie (dir. Robert Altman, w/ Eric Bogosian and Jeff Daniels), Davis would have been perfect as President Bush, down to the ears and persecution complex.
Posted by on 10/30 at 09:56 AMMarcia Gay Harden! Brilliant. And Janet suggested one of my favorite actresses, Catherine Keener, who runs the same risk. . . .
Terrence Howard. Good one. Oh, and don’t anyone suggest Edward Norton as Fitzgerald. We already did that, with Norton as Alan Isaacman in The People v. Larry Flynt.
Posted by Michael on 10/30 at 09:58 AMA brilliant list--Paul Giamatti as Cooper provided me with one of those LOL moments.
But may I suggest someone else for the part of Rove? You need someone who can pull of that smarmy, pasty, child-molester quality in Turd Blossom. I think Philip Seymour Hoffman could do it, though it’s certainly a challenging part.
Posted by on 10/30 at 10:31 AMA younger Michael Moriarty could have played Fitz to a T.
Both Madeline Kahn (deceased, unfortunately) and Catherine O’Hara would be great as Judy Miller (I’m thinking of their ability to play characters who are totally unhinged).
And wouldn’t Sydney Greenstreet have made the perfect Bigtime Dick?
Posted by on 10/30 at 11:18 AMVery strange, SneakySnu—Hoffman was, in fact, my first choice for Rove. But I may need him to play Bill Keller if Nick Nolte refuses.
And yeah, Ben, Catherine O’Hara has the smiley-unhinged thing down to a T. Thanks!
Posted by Michael on 10/30 at 11:34 AMOh yeah, call in Sharon Stone for Plame if Lisa Kudrow isn’t available.
Posted by on 10/30 at 01:45 PMYou don’t have anyone playing Junior. May I suggest Tim Bottoms who has twice played him as farce and once in propaganda, can now play him seriosly as possible. Joan Allen has to play somebody, after playing Pat Nixon, I think it is actually in her contract. How about Laura? And how about Oprah as Condi? and Woody Allen as paul wolfowitz. can’t you see him doing the saliva comb scene?
Posted by on 10/30 at 02:06 PMFor Miller, I think you should try to get Harriet Sansom Harris.
Posted by on 10/30 at 02:13 PMMatthew Broderick? Are you getting in to the funny white powder again?
Posted by mythago on 10/30 at 02:14 PMInspired discussion choice! My mind is awhirl. Other casting choices to round out the list:
CCH Pounder as Condi Rice
Joe Pantoliano as Paul Wolfowitz
Sam Waterston as Donald Rumsfeld
Kevin Pollak as Scott McClellan
and Chuck D as Colin Powell (fighting the powers that be!)Posted by on 10/30 at 04:03 PMUnfortunately, Larry Linville is too dead to play Dubya.
Posted by on 10/30 at 04:15 PMHey, isn’t Lorne Greene dead? (Drumroll, rimshot, cymbal (Paiste) crash.)
Yup, which is why I think he’s perfect for the part.
PS--Michael, your trackbacks don’t seem to be working. Does your site not play well with Typepad?
Posted by NTodd on 10/30 at 06:14 PMMichael, the casting is perfect, and I like all the suggestions added by NTodd and Kevin. But Larry Linville as Bush is just brilliant in so many ways. Some would take the easy, obvious route and cast Emo Phillips as Bush, but Calling All Toasters has shown us the light.
Posted by on 10/30 at 06:20 PMMichael,
At Marc Cooper’s blog I wrote a short excerpt of The Love Song of L. “Scooter” Libby:
I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall wear the bottoms of my orange jumpsuit rolled.Shall I leave Big Time behind? Do I dare to let him write his words? I shall wear a gray flannel jumpsuit, and walk with the blossom of turds.
I have heard Ms. Miller singing like the birds.I do not think that she will sing for me.
Posted by Randy Paul on 10/30 at 06:27 PMUnfortunately, he’s also dead, but I’d love to have seen Jim Varney tackle the role of Dubya.
Posted by on 10/30 at 06:29 PMKevin, CCH Pounder as Rice is absolute genius. But I have to ask that you not call Sam Waterston just yet—the guy’s spent his entire life playing smart, understated, reflective characters, from Nick Carraway to Sydney Schanberg (in The Killing Fields). He’d bring way too much to Rumsfeld. No, for the Don you need someone with a long history of playing soulless, amoral corporate creeps. You need Ronny Cox.
Posted by Michael on 10/30 at 06:34 PMOh, and NTodd, I’ll fix the trackback mechanism. I fiddled with it to stop the online casinos and poker sites from zapping the site with their trackbacks.
Posted by on 10/30 at 06:37 PMUnfortunately, he’s also dead, but I’d love to have seen Jim Varney tackle the role of Dubya.
I don’t think Varney’s capable of dumbing down his act, Vern.
Oh, and NTodd, I’ll fix the trackback mechanism. I fiddled with it to stop the online casinos and poker sites from zapping the site with their trackbacks.
Shit, that’s why my poker site is losting money…
Posted by NTodd on 10/30 at 06:44 PMMy God, Michael, how could I have forgotten Ronny Cox? Though it might almost be *too* on the mark, perhaps…
You’re right about the dilemma of actors overshadowing these parts. Case in point: my first thought for Rummy was Christopher Walken, but then I pulled back from that to go with Waterston. (But can you imagine the line reading Walken would give to the “there are things we know we know” bit?)
Posted by on 10/30 at 07:14 PMIsn’t John Lithgow about 17 inches taller than Rove? I would go with Ned Beatty. I figure in a couple weeks we’ll be adding scenes where Rove is squealing like a pig, and Beatty has experience with that.
As for Rumsfeld, you may have to forgo resemblence, and cast Jackie Chan:
http://www.poe-news.com/features.php?feat=31845
Posted by on 10/31 at 03:35 AMIf we’re going to allow the dead, I think Stubby Kaye was born to play Matt Cooper. And I was thinking of Marlene Dietrich circa “Touch of Evil” for Judy Miller.
Posted by corndog on 10/31 at 11:09 AMGotta have Robert Downey, Jr. as Fitzgerald. Ya just gotta.
Greene as Novak is an inspired choice, though.
Posted by David Yaseen on 10/31 at 12:43 PMHell, if we’re casting the dead, let’s just cast Larry Storch and Forrest Tucker as POTUS and VOTUS, respectively.
Posted by Chris Clarke on 10/31 at 01:13 PMLily Tomlin for Judy Miller.
Posted by Miracle Max on 10/31 at 01:27 PMChris, Larry’s alive and working.
He’s a bit old to play W, but he’d probably surprise you as Rumsfeld.
Novakula: Christopher Lee. With or without fangs.
Posted by on 10/31 at 01:49 PMYeah, I knew Larry was still kicking. I just think the Storch-Tucker pair would capture the West Wing well.
And speaking of The West Wing, how abut Ramon Estevez as Rumsfeld?
Posted by Chris Clarke on 10/31 at 01:51 PMI just think the Storch-Tucker pair would capture the West Wing well.
Well, in that case I think we’ve also found our Scott McClellan.
Posted by Michael on 10/31 at 02:00 PMAnd HP, I’m gonna have to go with “with fangs” on Lee/ Novakula. Thanks for the pic!
Posted by Michael on 10/31 at 02:02 PMDefinitely Martha Gay Harden for Hudith Miller. Except for her portrayal of Lee Krasner, she’s always really annoying. Sandy Dennis might be another (though deceased) possibility. The twitch as an acting style--she could make sure that no one roots for Judy.
He’d need to lose weight, but Randy Quaid would be a good candidate for “W”; his experience on Saturday Night Live during one of its bad periods would allow him to give the right note of self-important cluelessness and inept humor to W. He’d need to dumb down his Texas accent, but that’s probably easier than having him play W as an ivy leaguer.
How about Joe Flaherty for Novak--he did a great job as the Dracula knock-off host of “Monster Horror Chiller Theatre”. John Candy (RIP) could play Rove in his “Dr. Tongue’s House of Beef” mode. Actually, may be Andrea Martin could do Judy .
Posted by on 10/31 at 02:20 PMPeter Coyote as Paul Wolfowitz (Scooter/Jimmy Kahn’s long-time mentor, you know.)
Posted by the talking dog on 10/31 at 03:39 PMWait, I’ve changed my mind.
Kevin Bacon as Rummy.
Posted by Chris Clarke on 10/31 at 03:41 PMHow about Joe Flaherty for Novak--he did a great job as the Dracula knock-off host of “Monster Horror Chiller Theatre”. John Candy (RIP) could play Rove in his “Dr. Tongue’s House of Beef” mode. Actually, may be Andrea Martin could do Judy.
I know you’re waiting for me to say “and Dave Thomas as Dubya,” but I ain’t gonna do it.
Posted by on 10/31 at 03:48 PMActually, Dave Thomas seems too avuncular. You need someone who is better at “overcontrolled, brittle, and shallow” with a bit of the used car salesman thrown in. There are probably some good B-movie types or character actors who could do that, but names are escaping me...perhaps someone from those awful 50s science fiction flicks. A Grade Z president deserves scomeone from Grade Z cinema.
Posted by on 10/31 at 04:20 PMYou need someone who is better at “overcontrolled, brittle, and shallow” with a bit of the used car salesman thrown in.
William H. Macy.
Posted by Chris Clarke on 10/31 at 04:26 PMAll hail William H. Macy as W.! Overcontrolled, brittle, shallow: we’ll ask him to combine his performance in Fargo with his performance in Boogie Nights. He’ll be beyond great, especially in his intimate scenes with CCH Pounder. So listen, everyone, don’t call Jim Varney or Larry Storch or Tim Bottoms until and unless Bill Macy turns us down. . . .
Posted by Michael on 10/31 at 04:33 PMMartin Landau as Wolfowitz
Brando as Novakula
John Hurt as Joe Wilson
Dennis Hopper as Rumsfeld
Harold Ramis as Feith
Sigourney Weaver as Laura BushPosted by on 10/31 at 04:35 PMMacy would need to get a more atheltic look, but the Fargo cum Boogie Nights mix is probably closer to W than W (or Laura) would ever admit.
John Hurt is too wierd and mind-fucking for Joe Wilson. There’s probably some second string Administration player he could do, although he’d be a candidate for Rove if he could get good makeup for the obsesity and bad combover thing.
The guy who played the crooked police commander in LA Confidential, James Cromwell, would be a good Rummy.
Posted by on 10/31 at 04:53 PMMichael Fairman as Libby. The resemblance is uncanny.
Posted by Randy Paul on 10/31 at 08:35 PMMy mind’s eye sees Dean Stockwell as Libby.
And Crispin Glover as Wolfowitz.
Posted by Bruce A. on 10/31 at 10:56 PMOf course, now we need someone to play Alito. Because, after all, the distraction is part of the story. I’m gonna suggest Jason Alexander, but there’s probably a better one out there. I mean, there’s a vague resemblance, but Alexander’s a bit too twitchy for this role. The best person would have to be able to pull off that “Bitter? Me?” smile. And a combover like he really means it.
Posted by on 11/01 at 12:00 AM-
Posted by apostropher on 11/01 at 02:00 AM
Willem Dafoe as Novak, reprising his Max Schreck role.
Posted by on 11/02 at 08:32 PMOoh ooh ooh and Mitch Pileggi as Ari Fleischer.
Posted by on 11/02 at 09:27 PMHarriet Sansom Harris is the only choice to play Judith Miller. She not only has Judy’s diva act down pat (see her role as Frasier’s agent Bebe Glazier in Frasier), she could be Judy’s identical twin.
Posted by on 11/04 at 12:00 PMProf:
Sorry but Matthew Broderick has got to play Ralph Reed (work him into the script somehow). Too bad Sterling Hayden is not around to play Rummy. And why not Maureen Dowd to play Judy Miller ? She has had time to study the part, after all.
Posted by on 11/05 at 11:23 AMI have to ask that you not call Sam Waterston just yet—the guy’s spent his entire life playing smart, understated, reflective characters, from Nick Carraway to Sydney Schanberg (in The Killing Fields). He’d bring way too much to Rumsfeld. horse racing systems
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Posted by Internet Promotion on 05/17 at 02:32 PMYou picked MATTHEW BRODERICK. Great choice!
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