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Koufax finals are here!

We interrupt this blog’s recent Journeys to January 2004 in order to bring you vital, late-breaking news from some point or other last night:  the finalists in the Koufax Awards have been announced!

This humble, newly updated, and oft-renamed blog has managed to claw and beg its way into five categories.

Best Series, for my posts on Jamie.

Best Writing, in which Chris Clarke deserves to win and therefore must be defeated.  That climate change sestina was the last straw.

Best Post, for an essay near and dear to my heart.

Most Humorous Post, in which Rox, PZ, and the Poor Man rule.

And Most Humorous Blog, which is a minor travesty of justice, because I do not, in fact, have one of the ten most humorous blogs on the left side of the dial.  I happen to know that I wound up in the finals only because I faced Wichita State in the last round, and Wichita State turned out to be a completely humorless blog.

Of course, even if you’re a regular reader of this mildly-humorous blog, you’re under no special obligation to vote for me in any of the above categories.  But you should probably be advised that if you don’t vote for me, I’m going to spend the rest of the month posting excerpts from the Grundrisse der Kritik der Politischen Ökonomie, twelve thousand words at a time.  Just saying.

Kudos to all the nominees, and don’t forget the other blog awards hosted by our comrades at Sadly, Non!

Posted by on 03/21 at 02:42 PM
  1. Many hearty congratulations!

    Off topic, but as a fellow fan of the train wreck that is David Horowitz, I note the following recent posts: one thoughtful and largely on target, the other mine (and therefore neither thoughtful or on target):


    Posted by truth4achange  on  03/21  at  04:34 PM
  2. Regarding the “Most Humorous Blog” category, as God is his witness, Tod Gitlin is going to kick your ass again.

    Posted by  on  03/21  at  04:49 PM
  3. Michael, our servers are currently running at a snail’s pace (thousands of occurences of invoking Perl to be specific), so if your readers need to vote right away (like it seems most of the blogosphere must) then they can also vote via email - instructions on Wampum’s front page, one or two posts down.)

    Back to your regularly scheduled time warp.

    Posted by MB  on  03/21  at  04:52 PM
  4. Vote for Michael for all categories except “Most Humorous Post.” Scientists at Stanford’s Allen Institute of Humor (motto: “We like the early, funny films") have proven that ”My Morning” was the most humorous post of the past twelve months.  Dr. Alvy Singer, director of the Institute, explains that “while Michael is more frequently funny than Scott, his higher risibility baseline actually mitigates the effectiveness of any one humorous post.” He suggests Michael be “less funny less frequently” if he wants to appear funnier than Scott, whose typical posts Singer contends are “not unlike Sheepshead Bay on a sizzling, windless summer afteroon.”

    Administration officials rushed to denounce the study in no uncertain terms. “Some say that Scott is funny,” the President said, “I strongly disagree.”

    Posted by Scott Eric Kaufman  on  03/21  at  05:02 PM
  5. Just found your site as a result of sampling from the Koufaxs.  Read your essay on Jamie, that was nominated.  Beautiful, Michael.


    Posted by  on  03/21  at  05:06 PM
  6. Speaking of servers (MB #3), the threat to begin posting massive tens of thousands of text bytes just to prevent a null vote, seems to indicate your willingness to expend enormous financial resources to maintain the expanding bandwidth.  Sort of like a threat of obesity isn’t it, rather than a hunger strike?? But congratulations for making it into the finals, when all you thought was that you were going to be swept out in the semis. 

    I am of course still waiting of the announcement of the 2007 IntPoD awards--aka, the Bérubé’s--so that i can nominate Chris for suggesting his readers look at a photo of a coyote shitting in the dark.

    Posted by  on  03/21  at  05:06 PM
  7. So those of us who’d be interested in your thoughts on the transitional Marx and the (in)validity of the epistemological break thesis should vote for someone else?

    Posted by  on  03/21  at  05:49 PM
  8. Regular readers of this mildy humorous blog: Whatever you do, do not vote for Bérubé in the Koufax finals.  Make him act on his threat to post excerpts from the Grundrisse.  I for one look forward to getting out my copy and reading along.

    Posted by Jeremías  on  03/21  at  06:26 PM
  9. I voted for myself in every category, even the myriad ones I wasn’t a finalist in or nominated for.  It’s not my fault: I’m an only child and a bit of a brat.

    But congrats to all the finalists anyway.

    Posted by NTodd  on  03/21  at  07:33 PM
  10. Well, I guess I shouldn’t vote for you, as my German is a little rusty and I could use some reading material to practice on.

    Posted by Protagoras  on  03/21  at  08:35 PM
  11. Shocked i am, just shocked.  To have never known that Michael had the violent streak within him.  I mean i knew he was dangerous, but mostly in a theoretical way.  But now this from Crooks and Liars:

    “Pat Robertson on College Professors: “you know some of them are killers!”

    Pat Robertson had another one of his moments today on the 700 Club, while interviewing David Horowitz. I didn’t realize the amount of terror these termites are causing…

    ROBERTSON: Ladies and gentleman this is a fascinating book. If you want to, you’d better take your blood pressure medicine before you read it, but it’s “The Professors: The 101 most dangerous academics in America” and that’s just a short list of the 30-40,000 of them, they’re like termites that have worked into the woodwork of our academic society and it’s appalling. This is available at CBN.com and book stores everywhere, and you really ought to read it and be informed.

    TERRI: It’s interesting that so many conservatives haven’t seen this because decades ago we were told that infiltrating education was the way to take over the country, we should have been on alert.

    ROBERTSON: They gamed it, these guys are out and out communists, they are radicals, you know some of them killers, and they are propagandists of the first order and they don’t want anybody else except them. That’s why Regent University for example is so terrifically important and why we’re setting up an undergraduate program that hopefully will see shortly 10,000 students, and then from there 250,000 because you don’t want your child to be brainwashed by these radicals, you just don’t want it to happen. Not only brainwashed but beat up, they beat these people up, cower them into submission. Ahhh! “The Professors”, read it.

    They beat them up!”

    Posted by  on  03/21  at  09:53 PM
  12. That’s odd, was just going to mention Horowitz’s appearance on 700 Club, but spyder beat me to it.

    Crooks and Liars has the video, if you really want to see it.

    I know I’ve taken on 35 students in a single fight.  At least.

    Posted by Chuck  on  03/21  at  11:58 PM
  13. Since you wrote one of the funniest bits in the Maklin post, I think a vote for me is a vote for you.

    Posted by Roxanne  on  03/22  at  12:43 AM
  14. Congratlations and celeberations la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

    So glad to know about your win!!

    GIv me a supportive hand toooo!!!!

    Waiting for your friendly tips :smile:

    Posted by emma  on  03/22  at  04:14 AM
  15. As you have the Cobb Awards Worst Community icon up there, I may as well mention that I will be voting in this category. I’m nominating Liberal Oasis for Worst Community for not taking comments
    (one of the Cobb’s listed criteria).


    It’s not because I feel everyone has a right to (and needs to hear) my opinion. And it’s nothing personal on my part because I really like him when I hear him on the radio as a regular guest on The Majority Report (Air America). It’s that with no means of communication, there’s no way to ask him a question or for further clarification about what he’s written (emails have gone unanswered). Maybe he feels all the two-way Democratic strategizing in the blogosphere that needs to happen already happens on other blogs.

    Posted by  on  03/22  at  05:47 AM
  16. "Grundrisse der Kritik der Politischen Ökonomie”

    Is that a German treatise on lightning rods?

    Posted by  on  03/22  at  12:21 PM
  17. I think a vote for me is a vote for you.

    That’s what I’ve been thinking, Rox.

    Is that a German treatise on lightning rods?

    I actually have no idea what it is, Njorl.  I was hoping it contained some tips on home-brewing hefeweizen.

    Posted by Michael  on  03/22  at  12:40 PM
  18. Woo-hoo!  A chance to practice reading German without having to check books out of the library!

    On the other hand, congratulations and good luck.

    Posted by Heo Cwaeth  on  03/22  at  02:22 PM
  19. Also, home-made hefeweizen is easy.  Just take a regular serving of ale, add a spoon of baking yeast, watch the little nasties grow on the bottom of the glass, then drink if you dare.

    Posted by Heo Cwaeth  on  03/22  at  02:25 PM
  20. Just take a regular serving of ale, add a spoon of baking yeast, watch the little nasties grow on the bottom of the glass, then drink if you dare.

    Goddamn.  And Marx took 900 pages to say that?

    Posted by Michael  on  03/22  at  03:01 PM
  21. Grundrisse der Kritik der Politischen Ökonomie,

    ..."The Green Travel of the Critic of Polish Tables who apparently believes or takes the position that Anomie is O.K.”

    I think the C.P. Snow translation is supposed to be the best one, but my German skills aren’t the best.

    Posted by Gavin M.  on  03/22  at  04:27 PM
  22. Goddamn.  And Marx took 900 pages to say that?

    Well, he also advises the reader on the finer points of avoiding wedgies while wearing lederhosen.  As you can imagine, this issue requires a much more complicated explanation.

    Posted by Heo Cwaeth  on  03/22  at  05:05 PM
  23. It’s looking like an Atrios/Kevin Drum sweep of the Cobbs at this point, btw, but you guys might want to take advantage of the rubbernecking Atrios crowd and their extremely sparse voting to...effectuate an unspecified result. It would probably take about ten votes in any category, he said absent-mindedly and with no hint as to what he was referring to.

    Posted by Gavin M.  on  03/22  at  05:14 PM
  24. Ah, spyder brings back memories of my under grad days at U. of Md. (where men are men, and women are better basketball players), and rumblin’ w/ the profs. Glorious days they were!

    Posted by  on  03/22  at  05:40 PM
  25. I’m definitely not still here, but if I were, a hint might be dropped about a campaign whooped up by Professor P.Z. Myers, a biologist, who is sending science-PhD throngs against a humanities professor known to many in this circle.

    [pretends to drop glove, kicks it carelessly out the door, follows glove downstairs and into waiting cab]

    Posted by Gavin M.  on  03/22  at  05:56 PM
  26. Ah, Gavin, you’ll get no response from this limp lot. The Pharynguloid hordes are armed with scalpels and electrodes and dead squid and poor personal hygiene, while the gang that hangs about the social sciences and humanities part of the campus all wear frilly shirts and cologne, and are armed with nothing but pens...and the pens are all those hoity-toity plumed feathery things.

    They’re just afraid. They’re chicken. Buck buck buck bu…

    Ow. I just poked myself in the armpit with a scalpel. Man, you gotta watch out for these things when you’re doing your chicken imitation. And typing at the same time!

    Posted by PZ Myers  on  03/22  at  06:57 PM
  27. It’s looking like an Atrios/Kevin Drum sweep of the Cobbs at this point

    Is that with our without internals?

    Posted by Jeremías  on  03/22  at  07:00 PM
  28. May I put a small word on behalf of the late Mr. Cobb, who surely does deserve much of the abuse directed at him.

    When I was young (teens and early 20’s, actually I think it stayed in business until the early 80’s) one of my beloved haunts was the sort of indepedent bookstore that doesn’t exist anymore.  The atmosphere was totally friendly, open, and eccentric, the selections included a magic balcony full of art and archaeology books, prominent and well chosen poetry and fiction selections, lots of history and old series like the Rivers of America.  And when the owner got a book in it stayed until sold because she believed in what she was doing.  “She” being Shirley Cobb, daughter of the old Tiger villain.  And as I recall the devil himself used to make the papers when he showed up.

    For those who want to return to the scene of the crime, you can check out the restaurant called Palermo in downtown Palo Alto (if it’s still there).  The cringe-inducing pink paint, however, is from long past the Shirley Cobb days.

    Posted by  on  03/22  at  09:45 PM





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