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Phew

Housepainting is hard work. 

It’s week two of this summer’s chore, and today I get to the part where God’s hand touches Adam’s.  Should I use a roller?

Posted by on 07/28 at 09:41 AM
  1. I find rollers make it harder to paint by the numbers.

    Has anyone seen the trailer for a current disaster flick that uses the Sistine Ceiling?  I saw it without sound and didn’t get the title.  Based on my brief, soundless glimpse, it looks truly abysmal.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  10:57 AM
  2. nashe - not that I’m “above” big budget Hollywood movies, but I tend to tune out the commercials for the big action ones, so I don’t think I can help you. The only big action flick I can think of now is G.I. Joe, so I Googled that trailer, didn’t see the Sistine ceiling bit. But it does show some kind of super green chemical thingy destroying the Eiffel Tower. Can we get some of that shit to flush Cheney out of whatever hole he’s hiding in?

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  11:08 AM
  3. Oaktown Girl - Actually, I think you’ve got it.  Thanks!  The sound was off in the theatre during the trailers before Half-Blood Prince and I think I saw that in the GI Joe extended trailer as I entered.  Luckily they fixed the sound before the real movie started.

    I remember seeing that GI Joe was directed by The Man Who Brought You Independence Day, or something like that, and I wondered if the Sistine Chapel shot had just been cut from the Crumbling Icons Disaster Sequence from the earlier film and he was finally getting to use it now. I’m sure the green goo was just added later.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  11:30 AM
  4. Be sure to be almost done when somebody changes her, uh, their mind about the color.

    captcha: Big chief say so.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  11:47 AM
  5. Be sure to be almost done when somebody changes her, uh, their mind about the color.

    That would never happen, Sven.  Janet looked at the driveway side of the house as I was finishing up around 8 pm and pronounced the color “perfect.” So I think I have another few weeks before any decisive mind-changing takes place.

    Captcha:  future, as in far.

    Actually, Janet has a terrific color sense, and the color I’m painting over is hideous.  But because the actual paint always looks a teeny bit different from the chip once the stuff goes up on the house, she tried out a bunch of samples before I hauled out the ladders.

    Posted by Michael  on  07/28  at  11:55 AM
  6. but you’re using a sprayer, right?

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  12:04 PM
  7. If God’s hand is touching Adam’s, you’re doing it wrong.  In Mikey’s original, God had just vigorously scuffed his feet on a wool rug, the joker.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  12:14 PM
  8. i dont remember that in the charlton heston-ben hur edition (the largest i would think), god’s finger actually touched adam’s.

    god mumbling something about “cooties”—having just returned from a summer vacation where he didnt run into jonah goldberg, but nonetheless had to paint the friggin’ house.

    ... and you missed a spot, he said resentfully.

    Posted by neill  on  07/28  at  12:28 PM
  9. I always thought it was God trying the old “pull my finger” joke on Adam.

    Michael, just say the word and I’m there to help. I stand off to the side, drink beer, and tell you my favorite housepainting stories. My SO does not permit me up on ladders since the terrible gutter incident.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  01:26 PM
  10. Definitely a roller.  I assume we’re not aiming for absolute photorealism here.  Saw a nice little Philip Guston exhibit yesterday at the Nat’l Gallery.  His 1970s style, which includes some pretty persuasive fingers, might be a model.  Admittedly you need forty years of preparation.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  02:57 PM
  11. My SO does not permit me up on ladders since the terrible gutter incident.

    Chicka-Wow Chicka-Wow Wow!

    His 1970s style, which includes some pretty persuasive fingers, might be a model.

    Ibid.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  04:21 PM
  12. There are really very few aspects of my life that trigger seventies porn soundtracks sadly. Thanks so much, mds.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  05:32 PM
  13. I always thought it was God trying the old “pull my finger” joke on Adam.

    Chris, did you see this bit on the Daily Show last week?

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  07:36 PM
  14. Since until recently this blog was residing under Palin/Putin Airspace, I just wanted to make sure nobody missed William Shatner’s fitting tribute to Sarah Palin’s I quit! farewell speech.

    captcha: alone

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  08:04 PM
  15. In many, many ways Sarah Palin is like Jackie Robinson. And as a white man, I’m grateful that Obama’s post-racialism allows me to make comparisons like that without fear of attack by reverse racists or merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us and Alexander Supertramp that here, Mother Nature wins. Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that’s why our police are willing to risk the wrath of an enraged Henry Louis Gates. So, how ‘bout in honor of the American soldier and white New England police and firemen, why don’t we all just get along.

    Posted by  on  07/28  at  10:19 PM
  16. Stephanie @ 6:  what is this “sprayer” you speak of?  Whatever it is, it wouldn’t be much help in the “alcove,” where God doesn’t quite touch Adam’s hand or pull his finger, but where I do have to extend the ladder and then twist my aging body around and touch up the corners, 12’ high, with the patented one-bristle brush.  Not that anyone will notice, unless one of my guests decides to get up on the ladder.

    O-G @ 14:  what is this “Sarah” “Palin” you speak of?  Can she help me paint my alcove?

    Posted by Michael  on  07/29  at  12:46 AM
  17. And OMG that “Sarah” “Palin” is like the biggest coastal elitist ever!  Big Alaskan coast, big surrealist Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?  Like William S. Burroughs isn’t totally down with that road trip that would make David Brooks think he’d inhaled a whole bad mess of ether.  More than one toke over that American airspace line, Vladimir, more than one toke over that airspace line.

    Posted by Michael  on  07/29  at  01:01 AM
  18. Alcove, eh? Are you still on vacation? In Bruges perhaps?

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  01:06 AM
  19. I saw the best mind of my generation destroyed by
    madness, starving hysterical track-suited,
    jogging herself through the frozen trails at dawn
    looking for an angry fix,
    angelheaded princess burning for the ancient heavenly
    connection to the starry dynamo in the machin-
    ery of the midnight sun,

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  01:20 AM
  20. ...the part where God’s hand touches Adam’s.  Should I use a roller? I think you should concentrate on the finger painting, if you catch my drift. Maybe try digital realism…

    Posted by scaramouche  on  07/29  at  02:49 AM
  21. My husband and I have been scraping just one crummy side of our house for several weeks.  It may be ready to apply the paint by Sunday. Who knows if we’ll get to the other sides this summer?

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  08:17 AM
  22. I do have to extend the ladder and then twist my aging body around and touch up the corners, 12’ high, with the patented one-bristle brush.

    Chicka…

    No, never mind.  That’s verging on single entendre.  You’ve won this round, Bérubé.

    And please keep going, JP Stormcrow.  The poem is great so far, and that dangling comma* torments me.  Though the bit about “best mind of my generation” will probably give me nightmares for a while.

    *Yes, yes.

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  09:06 AM
  23. And please keep going, JP Stormcrow.

    I am not a quitter. I just think that I can do more to honor her legacy in other ways. Which I will be working hard to do, because I’m like a grizzly like that.

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  09:36 AM
  24. Thanks for the heads up on the flatulence app for the I-Phone, OG. Hilarious. I am probably the only person left on the planet without a cellphone, but I can definitely see a use for electronic fart sounds on elevators.

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  11:16 AM
  25. Dammit, Michael! You know I don’t like being called “OG”, but you got lazy and tried to slip it in by adding a hyphen (#16). I was gonna yell at you last night for setting the bad example (see Chris @ #24), but then I was the one who got lazy (or, more accurately, got soft), and let you slide. But now looks what’s happened. As punishment, I’m sending an artist over to break into your house and paint a picture of Adam sticking his finger up God’s nose.

    And Chris, glad you enjoyed the link I posted for you.

    JP - too funny,

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  12:17 PM
  26. D’oh-G!* I’m so sorry.  I meant to type O-Girl, hence the hy-phen.  Now Chris has ruined everything.  I blame JP.

    * This is not a reference to David Horowitz.

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  12:35 PM
  27. I feel just horrible (even though Michael is entirely to blame).  Now that I look at it and sound it out quietly in my head, I grasp the problem: “OG” is sort of Neanderthal. Oaktown Girl, it will never happen again, at least by my hand.

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  01:02 PM
  28. “OG” is sort of Neanderthal.

    Chris, you nailed it exactly! And no worries.

    Michael: I blame JP.

    Fair enough,

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  01:36 PM
  29. I blame the Cro-Magnons. Talk about elitists!

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  02:14 PM
  30. I blame the Cro-Magnons.  Elitists about talk!

    Posted by  on  07/29  at  03:45 PM

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