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Sadly, no more

All right, here’s what happened.  Over the weekend, the trio of merry pranksters at Sadly, No! took pity on me.  You might recall that last week, I foolishly issued a challenge to SN.  Or maybe I issued a challenge to my readers.  Or maybe I just dreamed I issued a challenge, and then woke up to find that everything I dreamed was real.  I’m not clear on what kind of speech act was involved.  Whatever.  The point is that by Saturday, Sadly, No! had pulled so far in front of me in the all-important Best of the Blogs That Inhabit the Two Hundred and Fifty-First through Five Hundredth Positions of the Large Mammal Section of the Truth Laid Bear Ecosystem Awards Competition (or, as SN put it, “blogs that are less popular than Firedoglake, but more popular than The Iowa Voice") that I could no longer even see their dust, let alone eat it.  Clearly, I had been treated to an extra heapin’ helpin’ of Poutine Power.  (What is poutine, you ask?  Don’t ask.  It’s a French-Canadian thing—you wouldn’t understand.)

Actually, the competition was probably over a few minutes after it started—and it had nothing to do with poutine.  Within two hours of answering my challenge, Sadly, No! posted its selection of holiday gifts for the Liberal War on Christmas, and once I saw their gay creche . . .

I knew I was completely out of my league.  Unfortunately, for this all-important campaign I had hired Bob Shrum as a blog awards advisor, and he had insisted that I devote my week to a series of discussions of Steve Fuller and Intelligent Design.  “The people love a long science-studies argument with 120 to 180 three-paragraph comments,” Shrum told me.  “Leave the gay creches and the Fitzgeraldian Hip-Hop to them, and concentrate on the swing states.” Was Shrum right about this?  Sadly, no.

So on Saturday, Gavin M. wrote with a proposal.  Since SN’s lead was now insurmountable, they could afford to be gracious (and funny) about the whole thing, and maybe even lift me out of my virtual second-pace tie with Austin Bay.  (Nothing personal about Austin Bay.  He’s a smart and honorable fellow whose political beliefs simply happen to differ from mine.) Vote-switching would obviously be wrong, but blog-switching could be fun!  Plus, it entailed all kinds of interesting hijinx that would demonstrate yet again the amazing frictionlessness and vertiginousness of the Internets!

I thought it over.  Was it an incredibly arcane, more-postmodern-than-thou kind of joke?  Check.  Would it involve a lot of time and effort to no clear purpose?  Check.  Would it confuse the hell out of everyone?  Check.  Would I get to post pictures of people with limes on their heads?  Check.

It sounded perfect.

So Sunday night, we got to work.  Kurt did the site redesign (I’ve learned how to mess with the templates now and then, but this job involved some serious coordination between SN’s engine room and ours, not least because most of SN’s programming is written in French), and I set about the task of creating three new users and writing posts for each of them, along with some graphics helpfully provided by Gavin.  (Thanks!) And voilà, yesterday I became Sadly, No! for a day.  It was a thrilling experience, seasoned throughout the day by any number of strange people leaving strange comments under Nabokovian pseudonyms.

Didn’t you have anything better to do with your time? you ask.  Well, yes, of course.  But I didn’t feel like doing those things yesterday.

Posted by on 12/13 at 01:44 PM

  1. We need to start calling the war on the War on Christmas, as prosecuted by O’Reilly & company, the “Global Struggle against Anti-Christmas Extremism”.

    Posted by John "East African Plains Ape" Costello  on  12/13  at  03:13 PM

  2. Sounds good to me, John E.A.P.A.  But what should we call the insurgents?

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  03:21 PM

  3. The terminology shifts so rapidly, it’s hard to keep up!

    Liberal / Communist / left-wing / moonbat / Jewish
    terrorists / dead-enders / insurgents
    in the War on Christmas

    Mix and match for inflammatory effect! (But stand far back when you light that match...)

    Posted by John "East African Plains Ape" Costello  on  12/13  at  03:40 PM

  4. I’ve been trying to figure out the evolutionary function of tricksters ... resources?

    Evolution is pretty heavy, rationality-based stuff.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  03:53 PM

  5. It was interesting grin

    So Long and Thanks for All the Photoshopping.

    tb

    Posted by tobias Buckell  on  12/13  at  03:59 PM

  6. let’s not forget Bill’s favorites the feminazis

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  04:00 PM

  7. Whatever evolutionary history we have, it led me to ask about poutine once in Northern Ontario. I got some. It’s got fat and salt and then more fat and more salt, so, of course, the opportunistic scavenger-gatherer genes kicked in and we ordered more Canadians and all was well.

    Do you think you could photoshop poutine on Michelle Malkin’s head?

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  04:04 PM

  8. I was going to complain w/ the whole ‘explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog’ thing, but the explanation of the switch is actually funny.

    That’s one tough frog is all I’m saying.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  04:10 PM

  9. Oh good, I’m glad things are back to normal.  Well, normal for here anyway.  Yesterday made my head explode and brain matter stains, you know.

    Posted by Dr. Virago  on  12/13  at  04:40 PM

  10. PS—Living not far from the land I call “Canadia” I first learned of poutine in a McDonald’s.  That’s right, they sell poutine in McDonald’s there.

    And a Quarter Pounder isn’t a Quarter Pounder because they use the metric system...But I don’t know what they call a Whopper because I didn’t go in a Burger King.

    Posted by Dr. Virago  on  12/13  at  04:45 PM

  11. And a Quarter Pounder isn’t a Quarter Pounder because they use the metric system.

    Check out the big brain on Dr. V.!  But different systems of measurement are mere bookkeeping matters.  The crucial question is whether Marsellus was justified in throwing Antwan out a fourth-story window and through a greenhouse roof.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  04:49 PM

  12. "The people love a long science-studies argument with 120 to 180 three-paragraph comments,” Shrum told me.”

    I think that the whole Fuller science-studies thing was illustrative of, well, something, in that vague yet seemingly still present way that I associate with cultural studies.  Even if you throw out the single most prolific commenter as an outlier, America’s scientists are more pissed off than I’ve ever seen them.  I think that radicalization moments have been occuring and just haven’t really been recognized yet.  I mean, P.Z. Myers would have seemed like a pretty unlikely culture hero a couple of years ago, but I think that he’s becoming one.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  04:54 PM

  13. "But I don’t know what they call a Whopper because I didn’t go in a Burger King.”

    If you went into a Burger King, you’d know that they sell poutine there, too. You’d also know that we call Whoppers “le Grand Merde”.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  05:07 PM

  14. "I mean, P.Z. Myers would have seemed like a pretty unlikely culture hero a couple of years ago, but I think that he’s becoming one.”

    There’s a void in our culture once occupied by Frank Zappa.  I doubt Myers will fill that void but I enourage him to keep practicing his scales and hammer-ons.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  05:08 PM

  15. So Michael, I see you went out and got yourself one of those creches from the Gay Agenda Line. Bad enough you liberals declare war on Christmas, but now you’ve eliminated Mary from the picture and replaced her with a guy named Ed. I’m sure the flag he’s holding is some symbol of multiculturalism too. Can’t wait to see your Easter basket.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  05:25 PM

  16. Pshaw, Chris. You’re just jealous because Joseph picked Ed instead of you.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  05:42 PM

  17. You’re darn right, Bruce. I’ve got a bigger halo and everything! Still he wouldn’t give me a second look.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  05:53 PM

  18. I think that the whole Fuller science-studies thing was illustrative of, well, something, in that vague yet seemingly still present way that I associate with cultural studies.  Even if you throw out the single most prolific commenter as an outlier, America’s scientists are more pissed off than I’ve ever seen them.  I think that radicalization moments have been occuring and just haven’t really been recognized yet.  I mean, P.Z. Myers would have seemed like a pretty unlikely culture hero a couple of years ago, but I think that he’s becoming one.

    Actually, Rich, the truth is that my traffic last week was quite high, over 180,000 page views.  There’s no question that the Fuller thing struck a nerve—the nerve that lies at the weird intersection of science studies and the religious right (known to life scientists as the “Nanda Joint").

    More importantly, P.Z. isn’t just a culture hero with his own line of T-shirts.  He’s also become, imho, one of the most important public intellectuals in science.  Though if he attempts to cover anything from Weasels Ripped My Flesh, Lawrence, this humble blog will be the first to object.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  06:24 PM

  19. And listen, Bruce, Chris—so what if Joseph found Ed attractive?  Ed spent most of his non-mangering time at the Judean Sports Clubs, and he was really kind of ripped, if you must know.  But we needn’t mope around and spend the night alone!  The world of dogs and box turtles is calling us.

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  06:27 PM

  20. Michael

    <object.</i>

    Heh.

    If nothing else, Michael, PZ turned me onto your blog which is occasionally pretty goddamn funny.  Directly from my heart to you ...

    Posted by  on  12/13  at  07:35 PM

  21. The crucial question is whether Marsellus was justified in throwing Antwan out a fourth-story window and through a greenhouse roof.

    No, that shit ain’t right.

    Posted by Dr. Virago  on  12/13  at  08:23 PM

  22. Thanks, Lawrence.  I’m actually on your side, after all, though I still believe that the only person trying to sell extra books around here is me.

    And Dr. V., I’m not sayin’ he was right, but you’re sayin’ a foot massage don’t mean nothing, and I’m sayin’ it does.

    (Would you believe me if I told you that I discuss the Vincent/ Jules exchange in the postmodernism chapter of What’s Liberal About the Liberal Arts?)

    Posted by Michael  on  12/13  at  08:55 PM

  23. And Dr. V., I’m not sayin’ he was right, but you’re sayin’ a foot massage don’t mean nothing, and I’m sayin’ it does.

    That’s an interesting point.  Now come on, let’s get into character.

    By which I mean to say:  shit, yeah, I can believe you discuss that scene in What’s Liberal About the Liberal Arts?.  Be sure to have the press send QT a copy—I’ve heard he really digs it when people get academic on his ass.

    Posted by Dr. Virago  on  12/13  at  09:37 PM

  24. I’ve heard he really digs it when people get academic on his ass.

    Will do, Dr. V.  Though I should admit up front that my “discussion” involves a blowtorch, pliers, and some Piers Plowman.

    Posted by Michael  on  12/13  at  10:04 PM

  25. Michael wrote ”Didn’t you have anything better to do with your time? you ask.  Well, yes, of course.  But I didn’t feel like doing those things yesterday.”

    Thank you for bringing procrastination out of the closet, Michael. It’s a woefully underappreciated art.

    Posted by Orange  on  12/14  at  10:18 AM

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