Michael Bérubé - American Airspace

Sequelae

Last week I bought a copy of Entertainment Weekly at one of Durham’s fine supermarkets (not Whole Foods, which gives me chest pain, and which one of my friends calls “Whole Paycheck”). It was the March 10 issue with the Sopranos on the cover, and I got it because I foolishly believed that my apartment has HBO and that I’d settle in on Sunday night with the Sopranos. Imagine my dismay last Sunday evening when I suddenly realized that I’d waited twenty-one months for the Sopranos’ final season only to wind up in a one-month rental apartment with no way of watching the show—for I seem to live in a neighborhood where there are no local bars with HBO either. (Though if there are Sopranos fans in the area, I’ll be more than happy to visit your house on Sundays and give motivational speeches to your children! I’ll tell them I live in a van down by the river!)

But that’s not why I’m a-bloggin’ today. I’m a-bloggin’ because that issue of EW has a moderately fun article on the 25 worst movie sequels ever made. Take it away, Chris Nashawaty:

25. The Matrix Reloaded
24. The Next Karate Kid
23. Porky’s II: The Next Day
22. Teen Wolf Too
21. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde
20. The Godfather Part III
19. Revenge of the Nerds III: Nerds in Paradise
18. Battle for the Planet of the Apes
17. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
16. Ocean’s Twelve
15. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
14. Conan the Destroyer
13. The Sting II
12. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
11. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
10. Jaws: The Revenge
9. Speed 2: Cruise Control
8. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
7. The Fly II
6. Weekend at Bernie’s II
5. Batman and Robin
4. Blues Brothers 2000
3. Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha’ Hood
2. Caddyshack II
1. Staying Alive

OK, most of these are classic stinkers, but I have two questions. One, who the hell cares about sequels to Porky’s or Leprechaun or Conan the Barbarian or Weekend at Bernie’s? Shouldn’t the original be minimally watchable and/or important if the sequel is to be among the 25 worst (let alone the top ten)? And two, where in the world are The Two Jakes and 2010: The Year We Make Contact? Talk about sequels that crapped all over sublime originals: who can forget Jake walking past an ATM—in 1948? Or Dr. Chandra’s immortal line, “Whether we are based on carbon or silicon makes no fundamental difference. We should each be treated with appropriate respect”? Surely there should be a separate category for terrible sequels like these that appear sixteen, seventeen years after their originals. Which brings me to Terminator 3, which not only undid one of the world’s best sequels after a thirteen-year lag but consigned the talented Clare Danes to the outer darkness as well. Where’s the hate for Terminator 3? And I suppose there’s no Blair Witch 2 here because of the Blair Witch backlash. Wel, I hear that the cool kids are saying that the Blair Witch backlash is so over.

I mean, come on, Entertainment Weekly, you’re supposed to be an “entertainment” “weekly.” You should certainly be able to identify those films that violate the very principle of entertainment. But then, if you’re not up to the task, my readers are. That’s today’s Arbitrary but Fun task, folks: Sequels that Violate the Very Principle of Entertainment!

Have an entertaining weekend, everyone. And may one or two of the local basketball teams around here enjoy some moderate success in that tournament thing of theirs.

Posted by on 03/17 at 09:03 AM

Hey, Weekend at Bernie’s part I was excellent.

The list is missing Ken Finkleman’s contributions to cinema from the period before he came back to Canada and decided that he was Fellini: Airplane 2 and Grease 2.

Maybe Airplane 2 doesn’t belong on the list… it was flat and unfunny, but wasn’t a complete stinker. Grease 2, on the other hand. ... ugh.

Posted by on 03/17 at 10:43 AM
Gotta disagree with them on the Matrix sequels. I think most people got caught up in the salvation for disembodied information at the end of the first Matrix movie (changing a darkly dystopian vision into a breezy summer movie). Sorta like how Nabakov readers in my undergraduate classes always mentioned “I thought the first half of Lolita was good, but the second half was kinda boring.” (Ya think?) I think that the second movie takes that redemption away, and people can’t forgive the Watch’ boys for it. I dislike the reams of exposition, BUT I genuinely like the sequels.

My nomination for worst sequel--Batman Forever.

Posted by DocMara on 03/17 at 10:44 AM
OK, most of these are classic stinkers, but I have two questions. One, who the hell cares about sequels to Porky’s or Leprechaun or Conan the Barbarian or Weekend at Bernie’s? Shouldn’t the original be minimally watchable and/or important if the sequel is to be among the 25 worst (let alone the top ten)?

That was exactly my reaction when I began reading the list. Um, yes, the sequel sucked, but so did the original.

It would be easier, perhaps, to list the sequels that didn’t suck. You’d start with Godfather II, and then quickly move down the scale to, say, The Empire Strikes Back, maybe Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (maybe a controversial choice, but Pauline Kael liked it), the second Harry Potter, and so on.

But back to the worst-sequel list: I see Jaws: The Revenge, but wasn’t Jaws II a considerable drop-off as well? How about the followups to The Silence of the Lambs?

Posted by on 03/17 at 10:45 AM
I’d list Superman II as an excellent sequel to the first Superman movie, but Superman III and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace are absolutely terrible.

And Rocky V stinks, too.

Posted by on 03/17 at 10:51 AM
It’s difficult to even think through how horrible was Terminator 3.

Second Matrix movie rocked, full of promise and allusion and interesting visual and narrative asides, which is why the third one was such a wretched disappointment, as it seemed content to up the visuals and let more interesting moments slip away.

Posted by Kenneth Rufo on 03/17 at 10:59 AM
This is a tough one, primarily because I do not go to see sequels on principle: it is almost guaranteed that they will suck.

Alek, I don’t think that the Star Wars movies can be considered sequels, just as the Lord of the Rings movies can’t be considered sequels. The Harry Potter movies also probably fall under this category.

I noted that none of the Rocky sequels made the list. Again, not having seen any of them, I am in no position to judge.

Posted by on 03/17 at 11:00 AM
My nominee for worst sequel is Slapshot 2: Breaking the Ice. Came out 25 years after the original, and starred Stephen Baldwin and Gary Busey. Yikes. For a while they were packaging this DVD with the original, which is a complete and utter travesty.

Posted by Marita on 03/17 at 11:06 AM
I thought the first Men in Black was funny and the second was not.

History of the World, Part 2 violates the very principle of entertainment because they never made it. That teaser at the end of Part 1 turned out to be just that. I’m still waiting for Hitler on Ice.

Posted by JDC on 03/17 at 11:07 AM
I’m surprised neither of the “Alien(s)” sequels made it on there. Most people single out Alien3 (not even going to attempt to figure out how to superscript) as the worst, but I’ve always kind of enjoyed it. “Alien: Resurrection,” on the other hand, is execrable.

Also, More American Graffiti absolutely must be on there. As should Superman IV (and let’s throw in III, too, for good measure).

And no discussion of the worst sequels can be complete without discussion of the worst sequel titles, which go to I Still Know What You Did Last Summer for just plain silliness (as well as managing to make what was already derided as an over-long name even longer) and, of course, Rambo III for its re-titling/-numbering scheme.

(Had some coding trouble with some of the titles for some reason.)

Posted by Ignatius on 03/17 at 11:08 AM
Too easy, Michael…

First, there’s the infamous Troll 2. Sure, Troll isn’t exactly Citizen Kane, but the sequel is far, far worse. In fact, it’s one of the worst movies of all time.

Lindsay Anderson’s If.... is a classic of ‘60s cinema. Its immediate sequel, O Lucky Man! is kind of a mess, but it’s saved by wonderful songs by Alan Price. Nothing, however, can be said for the third film in the trilogy, Britannia Hospital.

And what about the film that has lent its subtitle to all unnecessary sequels yet to be: Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo?

Posted by on 03/17 at 11:12 AM
Color of Money.

Michael’s right. What’s interesting is the bad sequel to the good movie--the kind of movie so good you ACHE to find out what happened to the main character. In the case at hand, what happened was that Fast Eddie took a wrong turn at Albuquerque and ended up in an episode of Miami Vice.

Which is why Staying Alive truly deserves to be #1, because I have an argument that Saturday Night Fever really is one of the best movies of the ‘70s--really. Watch it again and see. Its colossal impact on pop culture made it hard to see it plain. But an amazing Brooklyn coming-of-age story.

And, free-associating here, an amazing portrait of what the world will look like if the Christian right wins (remember the scene where the kid jumps off the Verenzano Bridge after getting his girlfriend pregnant...)

Posted by on 03/17 at 11:21 AM
What about The Exorcist II: The Heretic? The entire premise of the first film (which is a definite guilty pleasure studded with stars) is reversed--you can’t keep a truly bad demon down, apparently--while Sir Richard Burton and Linda Blair earn their last honest paychecks.

As for the others on this list, I’m reminded of what Bobcat Goldthwait said when queried as to why there was a Police Academy II. “Because of all the unanswered questions from Police Academy, man.”

Posted by on 03/17 at 11:31 AM
Remember Buck Henry in The Player describing his idea for a sequel to The Graduate. (Mrs. Robinson was living in Benjamin and Elaine’s attic, I believe.) Now THAT would have been horrible. And here’s another awful sequel to an awful original: Pumpkinhead 2, featuring Roger Clinton.

Posted by on 03/17 at 11:31 AM
By the way, I notice that Basic Instinct II is ramping up for late spring release. The entire publicity campaign for it is based on toying references to Sharon Stone’s upskirt shot in the original. I kid you not. The unintentionally funniest trailer I’ve seen since the one for Death Wish V. Entertainment to be endured.

Posted by on 03/17 at 11:35 AM
Batman Forever: dang, who was the wag who remarked that the title actually refers to the experience of sitting through the movie?

Matrix Reloaded: DocMara, I’m with you on this one. Firmly in the critical minority. Sure, number 2 was a dropoff from number 1, but I liked its willingness to question the premise of the first (which, after all, was a classic consciousness-raising kind of plot: take the right pill and discover the real nature of real reality). My theory? Matrix Revolutions, which is an utterly unwatchable video game, represents the Wachowski brothers’ attempt to show us all just what they would do if they really set out to make a sequel that sucks. And besides, the freeway scene in Reloaded is pretty stunning as such things go. Makes the chases in T3 look every bit as tired and routine as they really are. Now that’s the real nature of real reality.

Marita, I couldn’t even bring myself to type . . . you know. Thanks for bringing it up, kind of.

Rick, Saturday Night Fever gets better with each year. If you were 16 and living in the outer boroughs when it came out, as I was, you just couldn’t see it for the wonderful piece of work it was because it was so dead-on.

And yes, MiB2 was very tired as well. Thank goodness it lasted only . . . what, 35 minutes?

Posted by Michael on 03/17 at 11:40 AM
The problem with the freeway scene in The Matrix Reloaded, as David Wong says ( http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/scifi.html ), is it doesn’t amount to anything. Shamelessly quoting here:

That huge highway chase, the climax of Reloaded that ate up a third of the movie’s budget? What was the point of that chase?

To save the keymaker so he could let Neo into the Architect’s office. Once in, Neo finds out two things:

A. That if Neo tries to save Trinity, the Matrix will self-destruct;

B. That Zion is actually 700 years old, because the machines have destroyed it over and over again.

After Neo leaves, neither of those two things are ever mentioned again. He saves Trinity, the Matrix doesn’t destruct. Neo being just the latest in a long line of “ones” to come along has no effect on anything. In the A - B - C of a storyline, that whole chain of events amounted to one of the hyphens between letters.

It was just there to fill time.

Posted by Ignatius on 03/17 at 11:54 AM
I’ll throw in Alien^3 as well. Not only is it boring and uninteresting, it spends the first ten minutes or so crapping on the previous movie. And Alien Resurrection commits the crime of being utterly unnecessary. Not only does it bring back a dead character for no good reason, but it does absolutely nothing interesting with the franchise.

Posted by Dave Lartigue on 03/17 at 11:56 AM
I think there should be an entire list of movies that sucked AND THEN somehow got sequels to boot:

My contribution: Miss Congeniality and Miss Congeniality II

Blows my mind how that one slipped by the studio accountant.

Posted by on 03/17 at 12:01 PM
The Matrix sequels (okay, I’ve seen only #1 and #2) didn’t betray #1: instead, they just amplified what was already wrong with the original. There’s a difference. For example, Aliens is merely an okay action movie, but it shits on (in a bad sense, mind you) the memory of one of the best monster movies ever made. Alien does hopelessness and helplessness well; Aliens promotes macho umph as something that can triumph finally and so might as well be Starship Troopers w/out the satire. By the way, I love Alien: Resurrection, as it’s a wholly different kind of movie that just happens to be set in the Alien universe.

I’m also of the same mind--vis-a-vis great monster movie turned macho fantasy (although to a lesser degree)--with Terminator 2, as this sequel bored me to little shining sentient robotic tears until the end, when Ahnold sank into the magma until his wee ‘thumbs up’ gesture vanished. And then I laughed like I laughed at Vader’s “Nooooo!” in SW 3.

I concur w/ Sat. Night Fever people.

The Thin Man Goes Home is far and away the worst of the Thin Man movies. Why? Because Nick Charles is visiting his folks and thus refuses to drink!

Sequels that I’m sure are horrible undoings of the marvellous, perfect original: all the sequels to Scanners (what, are there 5?) and American Psycho. But of these I’ve seen only the originals.

And Sequels that don’t suck: the third Thin Man movie (that’s the one w/ the Long Island financier), which might be my favorite. But do serials count?

Posted by on 03/17 at 12:10 PM
Blows my mind how that one slipped by the studio accountant

Oh, and Steve. The studio accountant is precisely how it got made. The first one made about 150$ mil. profit just in the theaters; as the second one made only about 40$ mil. in theater profits, I’d say it’s an even bet whether or not a third one gets made.

Posted by on 03/17 at 12:21 PM
For Hitchcock fans, maybe there’s a sequel worse than Psycho III.

From a viewer rating The Birds II: Land’s End at IMDb:

Now get this. “Halloween II” was crap, right? And [director Rick] Rosenthal left his name in the credits.

[He’s] called Alan Smithee on “The Birds II.” That shows just how unbelievably bad this film is.

Ouch.

Posted by on 03/17 at 12:28 PM
How about Gone With The Wind II - The War on Terra?

Posted by on 03/17 at 12:28 PM
Wha? Did Karl see a different Aliens to me? As Private Hudson said, “You maybe haven’t been keeping up on current events but we just got our asses kicked, pal!”

Nobody has mentioned Highlander II et al. Well, perhaps the first one wasn’t all that great, but to teenaged boys it was just ace, but even teenaged boys could tell that the sequel was just rubbish. There should have been only one.

And let’s leave 2010 out of this! It’s no 2001, but it’s a decent enough film in its own right.

Posted by Brett on 03/17 at 12:37 PM
Last Seduction II probably qualifies. Can’t say for sure because I stopped watching 15-20 minutes in. Had to do the dishes or something.

Linda Fiorentino’s Bridget Gregory was the girl I looked for all my life that I’m glad I never found.

Posted by black dog barking on 03/17 at 12:39 PM
How about the worst sequels never made:

Duck Soup II: Sylvania Strikes Back!
Citizen Kane II: The Revenge of Rosebud
Nick and Louie’s Beautiful Freindship
Nick and Louie’s Wild Adventure
Nick and Louie’s Bogus Journey

Posted by on 03/17 at 12:40 PM
Terminator 3 was lame in comparison to 1 and 2, but it was still better than any movie on that list. The chase scene in the first part of the film--with the truck, that goes on for 30 minutes--was amazing. Also, it made sense plot-wise and, I think, no one was embarrassed by their performances. Clair was underused, but not BAD. Matrix 2 and 3 were both boring and nonsensical. But yes, where the hell are Blair Witch 2, The Two Jokes, and, horrors, the entire straight-to-video Disney sequals--Bambi 2, etc?

Posted by ted on 03/17 at 12:56 PM
Hey! I don’t see anything here about Freeway II (Matthew Bright, 1999). The first one, starring Reese Witherspoon, is one hell of a movie (she makes it so). The sequel (with only the director connecting the two, as far as I can tell) is, well, hellish.

Posted by Aaron Barlow on 03/17 at 01:07 PM
Well, this is off topic but the Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker skit is the greatest.

Maybe my memory is fading with age (OK, there’s no “maybe” about it) but I seem to recall an an lib that isn’t in that script. David Spade starts to giggle, so Chris Farley roars, “YOU WOULDN’T THINK IT WAS SO FUNNY TO BE LIVIN’ IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER IF YOU WERE LIVIN’ IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER,” after which Spade completely breaks character and just starts guffawing.

Or have I somehow made all that up?

Posted by on 03/17 at 01:16 PM
Diehard II and III
Airplane II
All the Naked Gun sequels
Rocky III, IV and V
Lethal Weapon sequels
Return of the Magnificent Seven
Omen II and III
The Exorcist sequels

Posted by on 03/17 at 01:22 PM
I have to second More American Graffiti.

Maybe Kevin Smith can pull it off, but I do fear for Clerks II (due out later this year.) And to speak of which, although technically a “prequel”, The Passion of the Christ was a big letdown after Dogma.

Posted by on 03/17 at 01:33 PM
"Nick and Louie’s Beautiful Freindship
Nick and Louie’s Wild Adventure
Nick and Louie’s Bogus Journey “

(Smacking my already welt covered forehead) I mean Rick, not Nick. It was supposed to be based on Casablanca. Oh well, at least I didn’t ruin anything funny.

Posted by on 03/17 at 01:52 PM
I must admit that the Conan movies are guilty pleasures of mine. Conan’s answer to “What is the greatest thing?” sticks with me. I always expect it to come up during job interviews. While the second didn’t even really have kitsch value, I have always been a big fan of Wilt.

Posted by on 03/17 at 01:55 PM
Tremors II
The Mummy Returns

Two fun little movies followed by two awful stinkers.

Posted by AlanB. on 03/17 at 01:57 PM
Since this blog does still have some allegiance to print text, if I may be so 19th century, I should point out some of the best film sequels occur in David Thomson’s odd little novel Suspects, where we learn that Julian Kaye from American Gigolo is the bastard love child of Norma Desmond and Noah Cross, and, yes, Njorl, that Rick and Louis do have a brokeback mountain beautiful friendship. To learn what happens to George Bailey you have to read the book, but it’s a not so wonderful life after all.

Posted by George on 03/17 at 02:15 PM
I’m with Ted on defending T3. I had very low expectations going in, and to my complete surprise, it didn’t suck. Good action scenes, good villain. Yeah, it did kinda undermine the central theme of T2 (i.e. “we make our own fate"), and that was somewhat troublesome. But it was still a decent action flick, and the ending was suprisingly dark and somber. Good set up for another sequel too!

Maybe the key to enjoying a sequel is low expectations. My hopes for the Matrix sequels and the Star Wars prequels were impossibly high, only to be cruelly crushed by egomanical directors who completely forgot what made the first installments so wonderful to begin with. God, Lucas sucks.

-Jason

Posted by on 03/17 at 02:17 PM
Another one for the “They made a sequel to that dreck????” pile :

Big Mama’s House 2

Posted by on 03/17 at 02:34 PM
I can’t believe no one has yet mentioned Highlander 2.

Takes a perfectly acceptable fantasy action flick and follows it up with the stupidest science fiction movie ever made.

“There should have been only one!”

Posted by Tom Scudder on 03/17 at 02:43 PM
A small point of order on whether Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi can be considered sequels, raised by SneakySnu way back up at #6:

They most certainly are sequels in the conventional sense, and the idea that “Episodes IV, V and VI” were conceived and plotted in some grand unitary act of world-building is pure self-serving revisionist horseshit from George Lucas and his PR firm. Lucas only started making those claims long, long after “Star Wars” was a hit, and has never once produced any evidence (notes, confirmed conversations, etc) to support it.

“Empire” was almost entirely plotted and scripted by Leigh Brackett, who is more responsible than any other human being, Lucas very much included, for making “Star Wars” into a long-lived cultural phenomenon. That Lucas has continued to get away with claiming sole creative credit for that amounts to pissing on her grave.

(Sorry for the crankiness, but this is a personal hot-button for me.)

Posted by Doctor Memory on 03/17 at 02:53 PM
Let me preface this by saying I never would have watched any of these movies except that I was babysitting. Free Willy 2 was, IMO, vastly better than the original. The third movie, though, was awful.

Posted by on 03/17 at 03:01 PM
I know this is bad of me, but I love the Highlander franchise.

Posted by Tyler Curtain on 03/17 at 03:11 PM
Home Alone II: Lost in NY

same kid, same jokes, same sight gags.
I was on a bus. Whoever books films on Greyhound should be reading this thread for ideas, since they seem determined to keep all kinds of dreck alive.

Posted by lt on 03/17 at 03:14 PM
"Exorcist 2: The Heretic” has everything a really putrid sequel should - witless plot, bad cinematography, Richard Burton chewing on the scenery.

Sadly, no one has yet made “Plan 10 from Outer Space”.

Posted by on 03/17 at 03:17 PM
Coming soon to a theater near you: Capote II: The Bitch is Back.

Posted by rootlesscosmo on 03/17 at 03:17 PM
And what about Shock Treatment, the execrable sequel to The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Susan Sarandon was too big a star by 1981 to be convinced to come back for the sequel, so instead Jessica Harper embarrasses herself as Janet Majors (nee Weiss). (To give credit where credit is due, Barry Bostwick also skipped out, to be replaced by Cliff de Young as Brad Majors)

Posted by on 03/17 at 03:37 PM
Ghostbusters: Charming if gossamer vehicle for some sharp comic performances. Seriously, all of them were dead freaking on.

Ghostbusters II: Leaden pile of ectoplasm; one of the great sins of marketing and accounting thugs.

Posted by on 03/17 at 03:41 PM
I’m with you Jason, although I would suggest that low expectations are key to enjoying almost any movie, not just sequels.

How about Austin Powers II and III?? I thought the first was genuinely clever and funny and could have stood alone without any of the juvenile potty humor, while the sequels - well, if you removed that kind of humor from the sequels, you probably couldn’t even put together a decent trailer…

Speaking of which - AP II: Best trailer ever?? - or is that insensitive of me towards little people..?

Posted by on 03/17 at 03:41 PM
Worst Sequels Never Made 2

Back With the Wind
Maybe It’s Not Such a Wonderful Life After All
Mr. Smith Stays in Washington
Double Indemnity 2: Quadruple Indemnity

Posted by on 03/17 at 03:46 PM
Caddyshack II gets my vote. My reasons are here.

Posted by jon mcgee on 03/17 at 03:48 PM
If TV shows count, AfterM*A*S*H. If TV shows which are prequels to movies count, Casablanca.

Posted by Steven desJardins on 03/17 at 04:09 PM
Future categories for consideration:
The worst sequels of good movies (current intended topic?)
The worst sequels of the worst movies- Rambo?
The worst sequence of subsequent sequels- all Stallone
The worst remakes of previously made films (not necessarily sequels at all)

And no mention of the Predator franchise above??

Serials in the classical sense are sequential, thus sequels yes?

Posted by on 03/17 at 04:16 PM
Spyder reminded me of the worst “combo-sequel:” “Alien vs. Predator” (or was it the other way around?).

Posted by on 03/17 at 04:19 PM
Aside from Evil Dead 2, are there any instances of a sequel outdoing its predecessor so completely that people forget it was a sequel in the first place?

Posted by on 03/17 at 04:34 PM
Great suggestions so far. I forgot about the Ghostbusters and Home Alone sequels, though I don’t begin to forgive the latter for foisting the young Mr. Culkin upon us. And among the great sequels, I count Babe: Pig in the City and Toy Story 2 (also acknowledged by EW).

There was a sequel to Rocky Horror? Holy time warp again, Batman forever. I’m so glad I didn’t know that.

But here we are at comment fiftysomething, and I still have no Sopranos leads. I’m clearly going to have to walk around Brightleaf Square in downtown Durham wearing a sandwich board that advertises my plight.

Posted by Michael on 03/17 at 05:03 PM
There’s only four channels for our Prof of Danger,
One has Sopranos and one has the Rangers…

Posted by on 03/17 at 05:46 PM
Michael—I’m (probably clearly) nowhere near Durham, but could send videotape—but do you have a player?

Posted by on 03/17 at 05:59 PM
“Exorcist 2: The Heretic” has everything a really putrid sequel should - witless plot, bad cinematography, Richard Burton chewing on the scenery.

Actually, he was so drunk the whole time that he had trouble walking and blinking, let alone chewing. And how can one ever forget James Earl Jones as Pazuzu the Evil Grasshopper, or Linda Blair and her uncanny ability to soothe the Bad Locusts that were chomping stuff?

This one gets my all-time vote for Worst Sequel Ever To A Movie That Wasn’t All That Bad.

Which eliminates “House Party II”.

Posted by on 03/17 at 06:31 PM
I always thought Max Dugan Returns was a sequel, but it was about a guy coming back home and buying Matthew Broderick a new refrigerator, I think.

Posted by Josh on 03/17 at 06:35 PM
What of sequels that no one remembers of even exisiting?
French Connection II, not really a sequel but a totaly different kind of film with a really strong performance by Hackman.
What of a sequel that was not made and would have really sucked but would be very, very funny? Ghandi 2 with the ad slogan this time he’s back and now he’s eating meat? Crash 2, This time it will be even more full of it self.

Posted by on 03/17 at 06:43 PM
Saturday Night Fever rocked. I know of lots of politicians, including those at the highest level of government, who could learn a thing or two about integrity from that movie.

* * * * *

There’s a sense in which even the original Matrix film was, if not a sequal, certainly derivative. It was derived from a Japanese anime film called Ghost in the Shell (in turn based on a manga of the same name), which had a distinctly different philosophical premise - not that tired old Platonic-Cartesian riff. And the sequel to Ghost in the Shell, Ghost in the Shell II: Innocence, is one of the most gorgeous films ever made. The brothers W released a set of anime shorts collectively entitled Animatrix that is all over the map, but an interesting sampling of anime styles.

* * * * *

Would any of the Rambo sequels qualify? I can’t tell the films apart. Was the one with Richard Crenna terrible?

Posted by on 03/17 at 06:55 PM
2010: The Year We Make Contact

I was just going to say.

Posted by Gavin M. on 03/17 at 07:35 PM
To slightly correct Karl’s post #19 above, Alien was a haunted house movie, with the Nostromo standing in for the house. Aliens was a monster movie, and bygod I think it Blew Up Real Good.

Posted by on 03/17 at 07:41 PM
Ok, I know we are straying but as for remakes

Barbed Wire ...
(starring Academy Award winner Pamela Anderson)

is a remake of Casablanca!

I once saw Anderson quite a good short feature online but her mainstream releases have never
lived up to hear early promise.

Posted by on 03/17 at 07:53 PM
Jackd: I almost agree. I think it’s a monster movie and a war picture (i.e., praise military valor among a group of soldiers defined broadly by certain traits bound to bring them into conflict with one another). I think the ‘war picture’ thing is an ugly reminder of the Reagan-era that produced it. If we’re going w/ 80s monster flics, apart from The Fly I’d go w/ Carpenter’s The Thing rather than something that perhaps reminds me too much of Red Dawn.

And Brett at #23, Wha? Did Karl see a different Aliens to me? As Private Hudson said, “You maybe haven’t been keeping up on current events but we just got our asses kicked, pal!”

Totally. But macho umph (here made even more maudlin by the ‘Riply products a cute blond girl’ ) gets its way in the end. I still vote no on that movie.

MLH, Sadly, no one has yet made “Plan 10 from Outer Space”.

Not True! It’s a fabulously weird movie by the fabulously weird Trent Harris. If you’ve never seen Rubin and Ed ("Nice shoes.” “My cat can eat a whole watermelon") you’ve never lived. I suggest a double-feature with Leningrad Cowboys Go America. And Harris’s The Orkly Kid is just heartbreaking.

Amanda French: harh.

Apparently the American distribution of The Madness of King George III dropped the III from the title because they feared that Americans would think that it was the third in a series. Sort of like Passenger 57: I hated the first 56 of those, but man did they ever hit with the last one.

MB: if you have a nice high speed connection, I can’t imagine that it would be too hard to find the Sopranos via bit torrent.

Posted by on 03/17 at 07:54 PM
Being a die-hard Disney fan, and doubting any of this matters one whit to any of your other highly intelligent and grown up commenters, but forging ahead regardless, I’d like to put in a vote for EVERY SINGLE G-D D--N DISNEY DIRECT-TO-VIDEO “CHEAP-QUEL.” I mean, even if you’ve so far avoided viewing these monstrosities ‘cause you don’t happen to have a kid (or aren’t unfortunate enough to live with a goofy so-called “adult” Disney fan), some of the *titles* alone will send shivers. I mean, Bambi II? WTF!?!?

Posted by tikistitch on 03/17 at 08:37 PM
Undoubtedly the worst sequels for a pretty bad original were “W” (released nationwide in 2000) and its even worse follow-on, “W II”, which we’re still sitting through. No idea why some people thought that one would be good.

Posted by on 03/17 at 08:39 PM
Though it’s become a camp classic, mostly for Karen Black’s hysterical, cross-eyed, clueless Flying Stewardess, “Airport ‘75” has got to be mentioned. We couldn’t believe our eyes when it first came out.

Posted by sfmike on 03/17 at 09:26 PM
I’ve nothing original to add: *Color of Money* and *2010* seem to me to be the worst of the ones mentioned.

Posted by david ross mcirvine on 03/17 at 09:40 PM
Sorry for continuing the OT discussion of Aliens, but I think it’s a pretty interesting genre-bender…

It starts out as a classic WWII combat film (complete with future-oriented multiethnic combat unit), and morphs into an example of what scholars of the northern European heroic tradition call the Bear’s Son Tale (think Beowulf): monster attacks hall at night, hero pursues monster into underworld. Eventually monster’s mother attacks hero, who finally wins a final battle in an open space.

Posted by on 03/17 at 09:46 PM
It almost feels like cheating to mention the second in what eventually became Yet Another endless series of splatter flicks, but the original Hellraiser was substantially better than average for the genre. “Hellraiser II: Hellbound” quickly returned to the mean.

Posted by Doctor Memory on 03/17 at 10:18 PM
Not bad Ben. So, does the little moppet Ripley protects stand in for the Mead Hall?

I’m sorry, but I’m committed to disliking Aliens. There’s no way around it. I’m a die-hard supporter of Starship Troopers, though. Go figure.

Posted by on 03/17 at 10:22 PM
My 2¢:

“The Bad News Bears Go to Japan” (1978): The first picture was great, especially for the ending in which the underdog losers. You knew they HAD to win, this being a Hollywood movie; the underdogs lost the championship game but never lost their enthusiasm, telling the winning them they will kick their asses next year. Wow! What a letdown the sequels were.

“Fletch Lives” (1989, and apparently “Fletch Won” is due out this year): No, “Fletch” isn’t a great movie but it is a guilty pleasure of mine. “Fletch” was that rarest of creature, an enjoyable Chevy Chase movie. Irwin Fletcher was a great movie smartass.

“Robocop” sequels: I like science fiction and I’m usually disappointed with the uninspired plots in scifi films. The original “Robocop” asked questions such as how cheap can life become, how much of a man is needed to be human and how far will a corporation go to make a buck, all the while while making me care about the main character. The sequels only got cartoonier and cartoonier.

“Rollerball” (2002): While not a true sequel iy certainly can’t be called a remake given the significant plot changes from the original. All the chatter about “V for Vendetta” caused me to remember Johnathon E and his world of corporate tyranny.

Posted by on 03/17 at 11:46 PM
Okay, I’ll take pity on you. I live in Hillsborough (12 miles or so from downtown Durham). I’ve already seen the first episode of the new season of the Sopranos, but I’m sure some things were lost on me, so I wouldn’t mind watching it again. If you have transportation and some tolerance for clutter, and if more attractive/convenient offers don’t come your way, you could come over to my house Sunday at 8 p.m. to watch DVR of episode one and then stay for second episode to be broadcast at 9 p.m. If somebody closer by or somebody you actually know makes you an offer, go ahead and seize it—I won’t feel rejected. Just let me know whether to expect you.

Posted by on 03/18 at 03:08 AM
Has anyone here seen “Porky’s II”? I have. It’s not all that bad, it just has a title that screams “must be bad.” Those who haven’t seen it might be surprised to hear that it features a subplot involving an interracial high school production of “Romeo and Juliet”—and the ignorant hicks who object to it get their comeuppance in the end. Sure, it’s not “Ma Nuit chez Maud,” but it’s not MST3K-bad either.

One of the low cinematic points of my life was watching “Ghostbusters II” on the day it came out on an insufferably hot July Friday, just to get out of the heat. Man, that movie blew.

I really liked “Mission Impossible,” I think it’s even underrated. DePalma’s tricky-tricky storytelling style pays dividends. “MI2” is just awful.

Some of those post-Sellers “Pink Panther” movies are incredibly bad. Not all of the Sellers ones were all that great, but they all were ultimately at least somewhat redeemable. I saw the first one, I think it was called “Trail of the Pink Panther,” I was too young to understand the true depths of its quality.

Posted by on 03/18 at 04:57 AM
Doctor Memory - I agree with you about the first “Hellraiser” movie. I usually avoid scary and splatter movies like the plague (not on artistic principle, but because I’m a horror movie wimp). But I’ve had a strange fascination with Andy (Andrew) Robinson forever, so I had to see that movie.

Yeah, it was very interesting. Plus it gets artsy bonus points (from my female perspective, anyways) for being able to make the bad guy character (who was a really, really, really bad guy) darkly alluring...in a guilt-inducing unchained raw masculinity sort of way.

For those of you who haven’t seen the movie: sweet jeezus - I am NOT talking about “Pinhead” here!

Posted by on 03/18 at 06:17 AM
The Madness of King George III. Terrible sequel.

Posted by on 03/18 at 08:52 AM
The Godfather: Part III was a massive stinker. Coppola’s earnest attempt was ruined by a laughable script and some rather campy and horrific acting, led by his daughter, Sophia, who proved that nepotism is never a good way to cast a film. Not far behind were Eli Wallach and Joe Mantegna, and of course Talia Shire played her role--probably not intentionally--with high camp.

While Part III isn’t as horrible as the 25 films listed by EW, it is certainly a major drop in quality from Parts I & II, the only standards by which it can be judged.

Posted by Mat on 03/18 at 09:18 AM
A few more clinkers: CLASS OF ‘44 (the three kids in SUMMER OF ‘42 graduate high school), SPEED ZONE! (an unofficial CANNONBALL RUN sequel) and any of the POLICE ACADEMY sequels without Bob Goldthwait.

Posted by on 03/18 at 09:26 AM
Gosh, I haven’t seen a single film on that list. Do I win something? I feel so ..... pure. I *would* go to see a sequel to that always timely Costa-Gavras masterpiece, but what letter follows “Z?”

Posted by on 03/18 at 09:27 AM
texasville
hannibal
that rubbish sequel to Pitch Black

Posted by saltydog on 03/18 at 10:38 AM
Whoops, accidentally deleted this one.

I fell asleep watching Jean de Florette, and then fell asleep watching Manon de Sources. This means the second is at least equal to the first.

Posted by saltydog on 03/18 at 10:43 AM
How about sequels that, for a change, are at least as good as, and maybe better then, than the originals?

Some of my candidates in this category would be:
Bride of Frankenstein
The Godfather Part II
Before Sunset

What are some others?

Posted by on 03/18 at 11:30 AM
Dept. of Sequels that Just Don’t Get It:

In the eighties, Harold Prince mounted a Broadway musical called A Doll’s Life, a sequel to Ibsen’s Doll’s House. It ends with Nora coming back to Torvald.

Posted by on 03/18 at 11:31 AM
I remember seeing the coming attractions for Exorcist II. It looked so bad everyone in the theater was laughing out loud. I never sat through the movie, though, and hope that I find it on TV one day.

But I really liked the soundtrack and grabbed the lp when I saw it in a 25-cent bin a few years later. It was Ennio Morricone’s take on “Afro-horror” cinema music. There was a creepy chorus of women singing “run run run” throughout.

Posted by Bob in Pacifica on 03/18 at 01:02 PM
I don’t understand why “Matrix:Reloaded” is on this list and not the infinitely worse “Matrix:Revolutions”, which is the most painful movie I have ever seen in my life.

Like Martin, I was under the impression that “Godfather III” would be a no-brainer for this list.

I myself just watched “Ghostbusters II” in Winston-Salem, NC. One thing I don’t understand about that movie is that all the Ghostbusters have uniforms with the “Ghostbusters II” logo on it. It shows a ghost holding up two fingers. But how would the characters know they are in a sequel?

Posted by on 03/18 at 01:05 PM
Because they’re on a mission from God?

Whoops, wrong movie.

Posted by on 03/18 at 01:12 PM
Is the ghost’s hand facing in or out? The gesture might not mean what you think it means…

Posted by on 03/18 at 01:49 PM
I will say at the risk of offending the cineastes in our midst that Teen Wolf and Revenge of the Nerds were entertaining crap-Their sequels-non-entertaining crap

Posted by on 03/18 at 03:13 PM
What about sequals that should have been? That there was not a sequal to Buckaroo Bonzai and the Eighth Dimension violated the very principles of entertainment.

And you are welcome to watch The Sopranos at our house, Michael. We live two blocks north of the old ballpark and would be pleased to have you. You could walk if the weather is fine.

Posted by on 03/18 at 07:19 PM
Everyone complains about Sophia Coppola in Godfather III, but no one mentions her brief cameo in Godfather I.

For a baby being baptized, she does a very credible job.

Posted by on 03/18 at 09:16 PM
I gotta stand up for Conan the Barbarian. The dialogue leaves something to be desired, true, but its a fantastic story with fascinating landscapes. Conan the Destroyer is a disappointment for a huge number of reasons, mainly because Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones had so much potential in there.

I can’t decide whether Highlander II is worse than Highlander III or the fourth one.

I could write half the script for any Lethal Weapon sequel—everything Danny Glover says:
“Hey Riggs!”
“Son of a bitch!”
“I’m too old for this shit!”

I second Color of Money and Stayin Alive. But the worst has to be the Fourth Man. I mean, he died at the end of the Third Man, come on. Also Leonard Part 7—way to ruin a classic.

Posted by on 03/18 at 10:30 PM
And re 89, wasn’t Buckaroo itself supposed to be the sequel of Big Trouble in Little China?

“You are not put in this world to ‘get it,’ Mr. Burton ...”

and re 58, wasn’t Gandhi 2 one of the previews in Kentucky Fried Movie, along with cleopatra Jones etc.?

Posted by on 03/18 at 10:33 PM
The Gandhi II preview was in UHF (the Weird Al movie).

Posted by Tom Scudder on 03/19 at 03:05 AM
Ace Ventura II: When Nature Calls. Ugh. Just, ugh.

Posted by on 03/19 at 12:10 PM
Michael,

As an international professor of danger, you might want to do another movie topic along the lines of this entry: American remakes of foreign films. The remake has to reset the story in the US.

The obvious question is whether any American film actually improved on the original.

(My nominee for improvement is Birdcage. It is even funnier than the original La Cage aux Folles. There are not many in this category.)

Some examples (some of the pairs I haven’t seen):

The Day of the Jackal (UK/USA, 1973)--The Jackal (1997)
Spoorlos [Vanishing] (Netherlands, 1988)—The Vanishing (1993)
Insomnia (Norway, 1997)—Insomnia (2002)
À bout de souffle (France, 1962)—Breathless (1983)
Porfumo di donna (Italy, 1974)-- Scent of a Woman (1992)
Traffik (UK (tv series), (1989)-- Traffic (2000)
Trois hommes et une coufin (France, 1985)—3 men and a Baby (1987)
Les visiteurs (France, 1993)—Just Visiting (2001)
The Ringu (Japan, 1998)-- The Ring (2002)
The Seven Samurai (Japan, 1954)-- The Magnificent Seven (1960)
Eat, Drink, Man, Woman (Taiwan, 1994)-- Tortilla Soup (2001)

*******
Given who is involved (Martin Ritt, Paul Newman, Claire Bloom, Lawrence Harvey), The Outrage, a setting of Rashomon in the 19th Century West, is pretty bad. It is one of Newman’s worst performances, but it does feature a very young pre-James T. Kirk William Shatner.

Posted by on 03/19 at 12:58 PM
Some of the worst sequels are the ones that should have been great—higher budget follow ups to low budget gems that built a following. That’s why Highlander II, mentioned above, was so disappointing. Another one I’d add is Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

Similarly disappointing are the low budget crapfests that come out after high(er) budget movies flop. I’m thinking here of Starship Troopers II, a movie that wholly missed the ironic tone of its predecessor.

Posted by zwichenzug on 03/19 at 01:39 PM
I’m with the Arizona Republic film critic who voted “Aliens” as the best war film (O.K., maybe I’m just nodding yes to the genre identification and not the “best” award--I think this guy just carried water for Jim Cameron).

I think that Dirty Dancing may qualify as worst sequel (as a sequel to Red Dawn, of course). Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey reunite in this Cold War era tribute to red-blooded American jingoism. I think that Dirty Dancing fails to re-capture the homosocial tension in the original. Replacing war scenery minimalism with Hampton-esque dance numbers and switching out the signature “Wolverines” war cry with “Nobody puts baby in a corner” just evacuates the original magic.

Posted by DocMara on 03/19 at 02:31 PM
My nominee for improvement is Birdcage. It is even funnier than the original La Cage aux Folles. There are not many in this category.

I agree, and I saw La Cage aux Folles three times when it first came out, I thought it was so damn funny. It’s one of those rare old-school comedies in which the plot itself is funny, so that when everything comes together in the last half-hour, the effect is explosive. The only American comedy I’ve seen in this vein is the vastly underrated Soap Dish. But Birdcage captures all of that minus the original’s weird misogyny. And Nathan Lane is inspired.

Posted by on 03/19 at 02:39 PM
American remakes of foreign originals? Let’s make this game a bit harder, gang.

How about Japanese remakes of Korean originals?

The Quiet Family is a pretty good black horror comedy, but jeezus, re-doing it as a musical w/ claymation--The Happiness of the Katakuris--was sheer genius.

And then there’s the The Turkish Star Wars, which I’ve yet to seen in its entirety, but what little I’ve seen: oh man. This does for film--sort of--what Yambo Onologuem did for literature is Les Devoirs de Violence. Ask your nearest postcolonialist if you don’t get the joke.

Posted by on 03/19 at 04:28 PM
Ouologuem. Dammit. And ask your nearest copy-editor if you don’t get the grammar: universal grammar my ass.

Posted by on 03/19 at 04:31 PM
Drat, I was going to point Karl the G.M. (#70) to the Starship Trooper sequel, but zwichenzug beat me to it (#95). (Personally, I’ve been afraid to watch it.)

So instead, I’ll have submit Buckaroo Banzai Against the World Crime League: a sequel SO bad that it was never even made. It’s the Platonic Ideal of the bad sequel; all actual existing bad sequels are mere shadows of it.

Posted by on 03/19 at 05:12 PM
michael, just when i thought i couldn’t like you any MORE, you’ve declared your dislike of Whole Foods.

in the vein of Whole Paycheck, i have a friend who calls it “White Foods.” the very thought of that place makes me itchy.

Posted by sarah on 03/19 at 06:58 PM
i would go out on a limb and say that all of the star trek sequels, even the dreadful “unknown country,” are superior to the original movie.

my fav star trek sequel (but i’m really stretching the limits of the word here) is star trek:first contact.

Posted by skippy on 03/19 at 08:31 PM
On Children’s Movie Sequels,

As a person who only gets to see grown-up movies as rentals, and rarely—I only go to the theater with the kids—I rise to second all the comments about Disney’s “Cheap-quels” (thanks for the term, tikistitch), but then also to defend them—sort of.

“Bambi II” is the worst because the original was the best of Walt’s movies (the only one that doesn’t have any racism, for one thing). Mostly, the original used great artwork and music to push the story, and minimized the talk. The “sequel” is a standard talking-toon movie. That it was made at all is sacrilege. And it continues the great Disney Dead Mother theme of the last 10 years.

But to be a parent is to relax standards of taste, because the kids have to have free will to choose some of what they like. And my kids see the Disney Channel. And the marketing on the DC is powerful, subtle, propagandistic and ruthless. And my 6-year-old knew “Bambi II” was coming, and knew its release date in stores, and wrote it on the calendar, and counted down the days for weeks, and called me at work on the Big Day to make sure I remembered to buy the DVD.

And she loves the movie. And that’s okay, because 1) think of the math and calendar skills she displayed and 2) she invents elaborate role-playing games based on the Bambi Universe which display immense creativity and 3) she is a critical reader/viewer who has already found all the weak spots in the characterization and plotting. Bad art doesn’t have to harm you.

Posted by on 03/20 at 01:41 AM
I would have nominated “Babe II: Pig in the City” as one of the Worst Ever Sequels (not just in the kids’ category), so Michael, I am really hoping you meant that ironically on some level. But if you did, I don’t know why “Toy Story II” is there, since that’s at least a good sequel (some people prefer it to the original).

As I wrote above, I have relaxed aesthetic standards as a parent, but we walked out of “Babe II: Die Harder With a Vengeance.” What’s to like? I’m asking seriously, if you feel like answering.

It seems to me that many of the same qualities made the first “Babe” good as made the first “Toy Story” good—unity, serious passions motivating the characters, an undercurrent of darker themes, real denoument and resolution, comedy that acknowledged death and pain but emphasized joy . . . .

“Babe II: First Blood” seemed like a giant betrayal of all that to me. Instead of a balanced literary examination of darker themes, it smeared the darkness in our faces. Instead of real comedy, it had violent slapstick. Instead of an acknowledgement of pain and sin, it had graphic voyeurism of torture and mutilation. I can’t evaluate the plot’s (such as it is) resolution because we didn’t stay for it.

So, since I value your opinions enough to lurk here often, I’d love to hear what was good in “Babe II: The Silence of the Orangutans.” Unless by “greatest” you meant “greatest bad sequels” in which case I’ve typed too much in vain.

****************

Which reminds me, surely the Texas Chain Saw Massacre sequels, especially the 20th-anniversary one, are bad sequels of a classic.

Posted by on 03/20 at 02:05 AM
skippy, the rule is that even-numbered Star Trek movies are good, odd-numbered bad. I agree, number 1 is the worst.

Posted by on 03/20 at 02:09 AM
Which reminds me, surely the Texas Chain Saw Massacre sequels, especially the 20th-anniversary one, are bad sequels of a classic.

Can you believe I’ve seen only the 1986 version? The alternate title--and you don’t have to believe me--is ‘Why Can’t Dennis Blink?’

Posted by on 03/20 at 10:18 AM
in the vein of Whole Paycheck, i have a friend who calls it “White Foods.” the very thought of that place makes me itchy.

Hi Sarah! Glad to see a kindred anti-Whole Foods person out there. The funny thing is that in Durham, the Whole Foods is pretty multiculti. Lots of international faculty and students shop there, mingling with the traditional white followers of the Upper Middle Way. The Kroger, by contrast, is largely black-and-Hispanic. Which leaves WF as the place where the liberal elite meet and greet and get things to eat.

Posted by on 03/20 at 10:52 AM
Oh hells. I had forgotten/blanked out one of the truly execrable film sequels, one that sucks all of the life out of a wonderful, charming original:

Arthur 2: On the Rocks

I mean, Arthur joins AA. Probably due to a late ‘80s earnestness incompatible with the merry millionaire’s drinking and driving, and drinking and whoring, and drinking. But the filmmakers seem oblivious to the idea that Arthur was a genre piece, and that Arthur isn’t an alcoholic--he’s a screwball comedy drunk.

Posted by on 03/20 at 11:24 AM
...speaking of Dudley Moore, although it’s late in the thread, has anyone seen both versions of Unfaithfully Yours? I just saw the original last night, which stars a young Rex Harrison (me: “he looks like a combination of Clark Gable and Ryan O’Neil: no wonder he drove 2 wives to suicide”; fiancee, “no, he’s just blandly handsome. He wants jowls") and a very stiff Rudy Vallee given a far weaker version of his role from the much, much funnier Palm Beach Story. The video clerk tried to fob off the Dudley Moore/Natasha Kinski version on me, and thank god I caught the error before I left the store.

So, the original is okay Preston Sturges*--which means it’s much better than most stuff--while the latter version is....? Does anyone remember it? Does it stink up the room?

* Although it’s made far worse by not letting Vallee sing or Harrison “sing.” We had the subtitles on, and the fiancee brought down the house--or at least my house--by reciting Harrison’s lines using the rhythmic talking he patented in My Fair Lady and Dr Doolittle.

Posted by on 03/20 at 01:53 PM
Bush 43 (otherwise known as W for Dubya).

More clueless than the first one.

Posted by on 03/20 at 04:10 PM
Michael, have you seen Alphaville II Electric Bugaloo? Clearly one of the better sequels as Anna breaks like the bad momma she is.

Posted by Tom on 03/20 at 05:49 PM
anticipate love make - that is all that girl is capable of: http://www.sportingnews.com/ <a href="http://www.cnn.com/" rel="itsok">kill cosmos is very good chips , red cosmos becomes lazy mistery in final

Posted by Alex Johnson on 03/28 at 10:05 AM
I think it’s somewhat unfair to bring direct-to-video sequels into matters, since they’re not exactly meant to be good or to make a lot of money. Did you know that there are eight installments in the Hellraiser series? The latest one stars Lance Henriksen in a terrifying tale of the online Lament Configuration. I’m serious. But honestly, it’s just not a fair target.

They’re also planning a second Aliens vs. Predator. Sigh.

Here are a couple that I’ve seen at bad movie festivals and otherwise:

Graffiti Bridge, sequel to Purple Rain

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, sequel to Baby Geniuses, which didn’t need one

Airport ‘77, which was just silly

Star Trek IX: Insurrection, which hurt

Jurassic Park: The Lost World, which was offensive in every way possible—not only did it present an “intelligent” female character who repeatedly contradicts her own advice and nearly gets her whole party killed, but it also lionizes an eco-terrorist who bears direct responsibility for every single death on the island. Whee!

I concur with the vote for Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Further proof that most people will blithely accept a dictatorship if it means not having to worry anymore.

However, I must disagree with whoever mentioned Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. That was a fantastic film, and I will hear no ill spoken of Turbo and Ozone, much less of Lucinda Dickey. If dancing your way to freedom while saving the kids’ rec center is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Posted by Sibyl on 03/28 at 10:26 PM

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