Everyone wants to know how Jamie did yesterday. A couple dozen people want to know how David Horowitz did yesterday. And two people want to know what the hell is going on with the Rangers. Well, you Jamie- Horowitz-Rangers people have come to the right place! This blog is your one-stop Jamie-Horowitz-Rangers Information Center.
First, the important stuff. Last year, Jamie finished second in his heat in the 50m dash, third in his heat in the standing broad jump, and sixth (that is, last) in his heat in the softball throw. I missed the third event because I had to get back to my day job, and was puzzled by the outcome, since Jamie can hurl a ball like Vlad “The Impaler” Guerrero. But on the whole, I was so proud of him I could hardly speak. Jamie had never run 50m before. In fact, before his Special Olympics debut last year, he didn’t like to run at all. When he was younger, he didn’t like to walk for any significant distance, either. In 1999, on our very first European vacation, I basically carried him around Rome on my back. In 2002, when we briefly sublet an apartment in New York’s Peter Cooper Village, he complained about walking from Avenue B to First Avenue, and took it upon himself to go to the curb and hail a cab for a journey of a few hundred yards. (I put the kabosh on that.) Quite apart from the fact that the physical aspects of his disability occasionally made him a difficult traveling companion in cities, Janet and I were (understandably) concerned that his aversion to ambulatin’ would have long-term implications for his cardiovascular health.
But once he got inside Penn State’s indoor track-and-field facility, it was, as they say, a Whole Nother Story. We’d practiced running 50m with him in the weeks before the Special Olympics, because we wanted him to understand how far fifty meters is—and because we didn’t think he would voluntarily run the entire distance. (A few years ago, when he had to complete a mile “run” for Phys Ed, he subjected his teacher’s aide to something like a four-hour mile, as he complained his way around the outdoor track for four excruciating laps.) Sometimes he was up for practice, sometimes he wasn’t. But there’s nothing like the thrill of competition, apparently. Once he saw that he was among a hundred kids with disabilities and that they were all kicking butt and being brave in the attempt, he put on his game face and adopted a new Jamie identity: Jamie the Multi-Sport Athlete.
This year . . . well, this year they didn’t record runners’ times in the 50m, so I don’t know whether he improved on his 14.82 from last year. But I do know where he placed in his heat:
The next event was the standing broad jump. I know, it’s not a great picture, but it does capture something kinetic about the event:
His jump: 4 feet 4 inches. Now, Jamie himself is 5’ 1”. In other words, he jumped 85 percent of his height. Go ahead, try it yourselves.
And the result?
At this point my Jamie is seriously outperforming that Bode Miller guy.
And then we moved to the softball throw. Still clueless as to what happened in last year’s competition, I advised Jamie not to throw the ball too high: “You have such a strong arm,” I said. “You could throw it right out of the building, you know.” “I know,” Jamie replied. His coach assured me that Jamie could reach distances of 50, maybe 55 feet, and I agreed. But I wanted to stick around and see, despite the fact that the Special Olympics were now encroaching on my office hours.
Jamie’s competition, in heat 14 of the softball throw, consisted of three girls—each of whom could sling it. The first girl posted a throw of 53 feet. Yeesh! The second broke 54. The third tossed off a mighty 57. And then Jamie toed the line, reared back, stepped well over the line, and threw 66. “Jamie,” I yelled, “stay behind the line.” He stepped back, took his second ball, and hurled it 69’ 6”. Well, you know what that meant:
Three events. Three gold medals. And the funny thing is, it never gets old! No one says, “aw, jeez, not the top step again?” as he or she stands atop the “1.”
So here’s to Jamie! He’s still not over his cold, but he gave the local Special Olympics everything he had, and now he has a bunch of medals to show Janet’s family as we head off to Connecticut today.
As for that other person: he didn’t do so well last night. He won over surprisingly few hearts and minds when (as you can read on this fine website) he responded to a couple of students’ critical questions in a somewhat less than gracious manner:
To one student, Horowitz said “you are obviously deaf and brain-dead.” To another, “you don’t have the mental capacity to understand it.” Finally, in response to a question he didn’t care to answer, “what are the requirements for getting into this school!”
This might be a good time to ask why Horowitz doesn’t receive speaking invitations from professors.
My friend and colleague Aldon Lynn Nielsen has a pretty hilarious account of the talk as well. In fact, Aldon has a blog! The account is on his blog, you see. As is a lot of other great stuff. Check it out and say hello from me.
Finally, the Rangers. When the Rangers clinched a playoff spot a little while ago, I foolishly thought it was safe to write about them. I was wrong. In the past week, they have lost to the Devils (OK, it happens), the Islanders (um, not good, guys) and—last night—the mother-lovin’ Penguins (WTF? did the Rangers decide to play in street shoes?). And remember when I noted that no Ranger had won a scoring title since 1942? Yes, well, while the Rangers have been floundering, Joe Thornton picked up seven assists in two nights as the San Jose Sharks eliminated the Vancouver Canucks from the postseason. (Real assists, too—the kind that set up goals. It was Thornton’s coast-to-coast rush that set up the Sharks’ OT winner Tuesday night, and his dish to Cheechoo that sealed the Canucks’ fate last night.) Thornton is now tied with Jagr for the scoring lead. So yes, Scott Lemieux, God does love you that much. His love is boundless, and because all things are possible with Him, the team that cravenly made Todd Bertuzzi an assistant captain will be sitting at home and watching your Calgary Flames on TV next week. But if God would just love my Rangers a teeny bit more, that would be cool, too. Thanks, God! Oh, and God, while I have you on the blog, I just want to say I liked a lot of Your early work, especially the funny stuff, but I really love the way You orchestrated that whole “evolution” thing just to find out which of Your creations was capable of intelligent thought. That was quite clever of You. Now, the Rangers travel to Philly this Saturday and then finish the season at home against Ottawa on Tuesday. Please see what You can do. Thanks again.
I just read this to my nine-year-old son. When I got to the line about Jamie outperforming Bode Miller, Tom commented, “Well, he IS outperforming that Bode Miller guy. Bode Miller is a professional athlete and has been performing all his life, but Jamie hasn’t performed all his life but he tried really hard and did really well.” I tend to agree - big cheers to Jamie from both of us!Posted by on 04/14 at 10:29 AM
Yay, Jamie! Three gold medals is an awesome achievement. Russell likes track and field too—is competing in the high jump at school. Mary, on the other hand, thinks track and field was created to torture children in the spring of every year. She’s been gleeful about every rainy day.Posted by on 04/14 at 10:43 AM
I’m so pleased to have a new way to describe myself. I’m a Jamie-Horowitz (in an anti-sort of way)-Rangers kind of guy. I’ll make the addition to my CV after this. I’m also a sentimental old sot who had fat tears rolling down my cheeks as I read the account of Jamie’s performance and looked at the photos of him standing head and shoulders over everyone else. I did try the standing broad jump and if I were 4 feet tall I’d be really something. Congratulations to Jamie! And I won’t profane the sacred by talking about either Horowitz or the Rangers’ recent play.Posted by on 04/14 at 10:52 AM
Did 3rd and 5th place throw down at some point?
That’s some fine work, Jamie!Posted by Dave Lartigue on 04/14 at 11:01 AM
Well, this post sums up the difference between Jamie and that other guy pretty neatly. Jamie, when confronted with a challenge, reaches down and finds the very best of himself, thereby displaying some of the best characteristics we humans have to offer.
The other guy, when challenged, reaches down and finds the very worst of himself, and likewise displays how we behave at our worst.Posted by on 04/14 at 11:16 AM
I respectfully disagree. The picture of Jamie is mid-jump is great, at least as I think of the concept. And in the middle podium picture is Jamie in the process of raising his arms in (well-deserved) triumph? I pose the question because the captcha word is “ask.”Posted by on 04/14 at 11:16 AM
The other guy...not so much.Posted by on 04/14 at 11:34 AM
Joe Thornton? Never heard of him.
I am officially blocking out the rest of the hockey season.
<fingers in ears>
La la la la la.
On a different topic, I do have to echo Dave Lartigue’s question from comment #4: what’s up with 3rd and 5th place? It looks like there’s a story there.
My congrats to Jamie on a fine athletic performance.Posted by Marita on 04/14 at 11:54 AM
Yay, Jamie! What a great story for a Friday. Wish I could have seen it in person. As for he-who-shall-not-be-referred-to-as-D.Ho.: what a douchebag.Posted by Elise on 04/14 at 11:55 AM
I am so proud of Jamie.Posted by Bob in Pacifica on 04/14 at 12:22 PM
What an awesome son you have there. I blame good parenting.Posted by Ann Bartow on 04/14 at 12:25 PM
Those of us in the territory of the Still Stanley Cup Champion Lightning (you know, where you haven’t been able to play hockey outdoors for at least 800,000 years) are sure that God favors the Rangers in a way that’s quite unlike the way God loved Job, except for the hardship part.
Oh, and I think it’s kibosh, not kabosh, but then again my dad grew up on Flatbush Avenue and rooted for the Bums (though I’ve also heard the term is British slang from the early 19th c.).
And congrats to Jamie! I just forwarded this to my wife, who has reported being similarly concerned about the cardiovascular health of some of her students resistant to walking around the nearby h.s. track. Maybe the pictures of Jamie on the platform will motivate them!Posted by Sherman Dorn on 04/14 at 12:39 PM
To be honest, I went to the lecture last night with an open mind about Horowitz. I really did want to hear his side of the issue, but what I received was , well, a rambling diatribe against Graham Spanier, liberal professors (even though he went *way* out of his way several times to reassure us that he wasn’t out to get liberals), women’s studies, Karl Marx, “brain-dead students,” terrorist professors, and even Paul Robeson (not sure about that name). There were more tangents in that speech than there were in my last math class! I would like to see him come back, though there would be one condition for that; an actual debate against his opposite (in ideology and in eloquence in speech). Have any idea whom that could be?Posted by on 04/14 at 12:54 PM
Congrats to Jamie!
As for Horowitz, is this behavior....
To one student, Horowitz said “you are obviously deaf and brain-dead.” To another, “you don’t have the mental capacity to understand it.”
...an example of how he wants professors to allow students to express political disagreement? Because, if it is, maybe I _am_ a dangerous professor, as I’ve never responded in anything remotely like that way to any of my students.Posted by on 04/14 at 01:11 PM
Bravo Jamie!! What a winner; *he* should inspire those Rangers. Love the last photo with his arms raised in triumph. Please give him extra hugs from his fans on the Internets.
As for that schmuck and his ridiculous rants… please don’t sully your Jamie posts with his untruncated name!
Auguri, Jamie!Posted by on 04/14 at 01:11 PM
How many times did you scream out, “That’s my boy!”?Posted by Mat on 04/14 at 01:35 PM
Alas, I’m worried that if we play the Sharks “next week” may be true in more ways than one.
Actually, if you were a Flames fan, who would be the bext matchup. The 5-6-7 teams in the West are pretty scary; I think I might prefer to play Nashville or even Dallas than any of them. I think Colorado might be the best matchup for Calgary, and I can’t be happy about playing Sakic. (San Jose and Anaheim are both really scary, I think.)Posted by Scot Lemieux on 04/14 at 01:54 PM
w/ the captcha word: “results” i can’t see anything out of place here. Jamie got results, the kind of results that inspire further participation and action in things healthy and good. Not to mention that somehow the text oozes with so much joy and amazement when you write about him.
The unsignified got deserved results as well, in that those attributes that motivate him to lie and deceive while denying that he lies and deceives, were on full display for all to experience. Unfortunately for all of us, he seems to feel the same way about his results that Jamie does; which suggests that it is not only Bode Miller’s failings that Jamie has surpassed by “miles.”
And now that i live closer to Canada than SanFran, i get to again pay some attention to the Flames. That brings back old memories of seeing them play several nights while on a ski vacation in Alberta with local Calgarians who had awesome season ticket seats.Posted by on 04/14 at 03:40 PM
Congrats to Jamie for pulling off the ol’ hat trick (is that a proper term for track?). He’s become quite a wonderful young man.
As for the Nameless One, I guess I don’t have the “mental capacity” to understand ANYTHING he’s about. And I thank God every day.
Nice post.Posted by on 04/14 at 04:12 PM
As to that other guy, the irony of his insulting students who ask questions he disagrees with . . . well, pretty much says it all.Posted by bitchphd on 04/14 at 04:29 PM
Hey, news of Jamie’s trifecta makes this a Good Friday indeed! Congrats to dad and son alike.
I’m not even going to comment on the ongoing train wreck that is D.H. - and I couldn’t care less about hockey.Posted by on 04/14 at 04:53 PM
“’I know,’ Jamie replied.” Well done, young man of confidence--outstanding. Congratulations, Jamie!
As for the Rangers, I don’t know what to say except to suggest that if you immediately cease speaking their name, drink tomato juice at half-hour increments for six hours straight, and spit in the closest creek, you may reverse the jinx.Posted by on 04/14 at 05:07 PM
I stopped breathing while I read and started crying when the results came rolling in.Viva Jamie! (Coudja please never ever again put Jamie in the same post as the Unmentionable?)
Captcha word is “drive” - no better definition of Jamie’s results!Posted by on 04/14 at 06:18 PM
Don’t forget that more assists for Thornton usually means more goals for the excitable Cheechoo, who is fixing to overtake Jagr in the goals-scored department. It’s been a stressful season for Sharks fans, but we’re happy to be an instrument of God’s wrath against the Rangers if it means a late-season boost to the Sharks’ offense.
And congratulations to Jamie. Bode Miller just can’t hold a candle to him—a young Carl Lewis might be a better comparison.Posted by on 04/14 at 06:29 PM
This blog is your one-stop Jamie-Horowitz-Rangers Information Center
Phew! I was getting tired of trying all sorts of Google combinations and getting nothing.
I love the Jamie stories, I hope they never stop on this fine Information Center.
D-ho, on the other hand, is a pustle and I wish he’d just go away.Posted by on 04/14 at 06:36 PM
Woops, damn the submit button and its crafty ways!
As for the Rangers, well F them for beating my beloved Canucks in game 7 in 1994. I was hoping the Rangers would go belly up at some up, but alas, as much as they tried with their mad spending spree, it doesn’t look like they will.Posted by on 04/14 at 06:38 PM
Incidentally, there’s no reason you should or would remember this, but when you were at UIUC my wife was a grad student there. We’d come to your house for departmental potluck dinners, and then I and several of the other departmental spouses would get totally SCHOOLED by Jamie at the basketball hoop.Posted by Dave Lartigue on 04/14 at 07:03 PM
As for the Rangers, well F them for beating my beloved Canucks in game 7 in 1994.
Those Canucks were a great team, Henry (the late addition of Jeff Brown was, I think, a key puzzle piece), and would have been worthy of a Cup. Their three-consecutive-OT wins over Calgary in the first round (sorry, Scott) were thrilling. Unfortunately, they were coached by Pat Quinn, and therefore had to die.Posted by Michael on 04/14 at 07:15 PM
Congrats to Jaimie!Posted by Ancrene Wiseass on 04/14 at 08:32 PM
Now y’all are going to turn into one of those horrible Sports Families, aren’t you? Where you stand there on the sidelines (except when you leap over, unable to restrain your enthusiasm) screaming bloody murder at all the other parents and the refs, and Janet gets up at 4:30 in the mornings to drive Jamie to practice, and Jamie turns into a glassy-eyed zombie from the lack of sleep and focussing on the next tournament and how many points scored and it’ll be like the Berubes have been bodysnatched, the only books around will be those Matt Christopher ones and the adult versions with advice on how to ripstart your diaphragm and engage your Will To Power, no more fantasy, no more music, no more pop culture except for Rocky movies…
Why yes, I am a New Englander, familiar with the hockey/soccer seasonal divide, however did you guess?Posted by bellatrys on 04/14 at 09:30 PM
I DEMAND YOU ADDRESS THE “MISSING KITTY” CONTROVERSY IN GREENWICH VILLAGE.
Your failure to do so up to now is proof that liberals don’t care about important world issues. I find that both ironic and sad and also sadly ironic.Posted by on 04/14 at 10:08 PM
You got me crying, dude, and I hate inspirational sports tales. I think it was the “love” part that got to me which suffuses the whole post. Love for your son, love for your friends who will ridicule the crazy nasty in your stead, and love for your dumb hockey team.Posted by sfmike on 04/14 at 10:39 PM
Yay Jamie! (My captcha word is “party”—which is what Jamie deserves in his honor.)
Boo Horowitz!Posted by Dr. Virago on 04/14 at 10:52 PM
Contratulations to Jamie!Posted by on 04/15 at 12:07 AM
(n.b. All of my future comments on this blog will be comprised of two-word sentences punctuated with exclamation marks!)Posted by Matt on 04/15 at 02:29 AM
I DEMAND YOU ADDRESS THE “MISSING KITTY” CONTROVERSY IN GREENWICH VILLAGE.
Well, my response is pretty much that of any decent person, I think—the missing kitty scandal speaks to longstanding tensions in the Village, and while we should wait until we know more about the story, I think it’s clear that this has polarized the entire community.
As for the Rangers, I don’t know what to say except to suggest that if you immediately cease speaking their name, drink tomato juice at half-hour increments for six hours straight, and spit in the closest creek, you may reverse the jinx.
Wow, tomato juice really sucks. But if it’s for the good of the Team That Shall Not be Named, I’ll do it.
It’s been a stressful season for Sharks fans, but we’re happy to be an instrument of God’s wrath against the Rangers if it means a late-season boost to the Sharks’ offense.
No, no, no. The late-season boost to Cheechoo and the Sharks should only be used for good (the elimination of the Bertuzzi gang), never for evil. And I don’t care if Cheechoo scores more goals than Jagr—just as long as Jagr scores one more point than Thornton.
Who let this guy in here?
Where you stand there on the sidelines (except when you leap over, unable to restrain your enthusiasm) screaming bloody murder at all the other parents and the refs, and Janet gets up at 4:30 in the mornings to drive Jamie to practice, and Jamie turns into a glassy-eyed zombie from the lack of sleep and focussing on the next tournament and how many points scored
bellatrys! You must have been there when I was ten! (Actually my father never yelled at refs. He and every other parent had strong opinions about the amount of ice time their children were getting, though.)
and it’ll be like the Berubes have been bodysnatched, the only books around will be those Matt Christopher ones
I read every single one, which wasn’t hard, since they were all the same book.
and the adult versions with advice on how to ripstart your diaphragm and engage your Will To Power, no more fantasy, no more music, no more pop culture except for Rocky movies
<Burgess Meredith>Jamie! Women weaken legs! Women weaken legs, Jamie!</Burgess Meredith>Posted by Michael on 04/15 at 09:21 AM
And thanks so much to everyone who’s stopped by to give Jamie a shout out. He modeled his medals for Janet’s family yesterday, to everyone’s delight, not least his own.Posted by Michael on 04/15 at 09:28 AM
moving from Jamie to Mr. “scarequotes” (would that the undead unsignified one be in need of a brain??)
does this sort of exchange sound familiar??
In the email exchange, Horowitz told Colmes that “reasonable people can disagree about sound-bites on a fast-paced show like [Hannity & Colmes] where you’re sitting in the dark and things are coming at you from all sides ... but calling people liars over these matters is not right.” In the blog post, he also used the words “lie,” “lied,” “liar,” and “lies” in quotation marks to portray how Media Matters referred to him. However, in our April 10 item, Media Matters never referred to Horowitz as a “liar” nor made any assertion that Horowitz “lied.” Media Matters simply corrected Horowitz’s false claim that he has refrained from criticizing “professors’ political speech” outside of the classroom by pointing to numerous occasions on which he had done so in his recent book, The Professors: The 101 Most Dangerous Academics in America (Regnery January 2006).
aah for the plural form of the present tense verb ‘to be’ captcha word, three letters is so short and neatPosted by on 04/15 at 12:23 PM
Congrats to Jamie!Posted by Anne on 04/15 at 10:31 PM
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear indeed. . . .
saw the last two periods of the Flyers/Rangers game today, and , ugh, that was not good, playoff type hockey. Not at all, alas
and was given to understand that Joe Thornton scored the first two goals, and an assist on the third goal, of HIS game. I think we know how this is going to end.
Not too late I hope to send utter congrats to Jaimie on his triple play. Good for Jamie to show the medals to his Mom’s relatives, and good on them to return immediately the congrats he’s earned.
One tiny little point-Jaimie looks a lot more fit than he did a year ago-is this as a result of his parents (and older bro) pushing him lots for training, or are we witnessing a typical early-adolescent growth spurt?
Submission word “looking”. I iamgine that the Stanley playoffs will involve a lot of looking, trying to figure out various strengths and weaknesses (writing from Edmonton, the big weakenss being a total lack of goaltending, ).Posted by on 04/15 at 11:09 PM
a big yahoo for jamie! even after a day, i can’t find the right words to express how much i admire his grace and hard work, or the joy he brings to total strangers.
the comments of the other person demonstrate that he is an insult to humanity.Posted by on 04/16 at 12:38 AM
Jamie’s got game! Mens sana in corpore sano, ita vero!Posted by Kristina on 04/16 at 01:18 AM
Geoff, if you thought the second and third periods were bad, let me tell you about the first, in which the Flyers outshot the Visitors 15-3 and the Zamboni only had to resurface one end of the ice.
I didn’t think the Rangers could get past the second round, honestly. But yesterday they looked like they’ll be playing five playoff games at the outside.
Captcha: york.Posted by Michael on 04/16 at 10:53 AM
I read every single one, which wasn’t hard, since they were all the same book.
LOL! Yes, they are. Drove me crazy as a book person at the library, in the eternal argument over whether or not that counted as *reading*, as in, “Well, at least they’re *reading*” - fortunately the Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley High hadn’t come along as yet.
I also remember Torvald of Linux explaining why he became a computer genius - he said, that basically, the only things to do for a boy in Scandinavia were play hockey or play on the computer, and he wasn’t a hockey player…
Well, seriously, congrats - from a complete asthmatic nerdy four-eyed last-kid-picked in school, rock on, Jamie!Posted by bellatrys on 04/16 at 11:28 AM
I also remember Torvald of Linux
I did a serious medievalist doubletake when I hit that name. Linux....where’s that?Posted by on 04/16 at 08:58 PM
All is not lost - State College isn’t that far from Buffalo. It would be convenient if the Rangers and Flyers (who are also spiraling downward) lost today so the Devils win the Atlantic. Don’t want to play them in the first round.
Congratulations to your son.Posted by on 04/17 at 03:47 AM
Wow! Three for three - that is fantastic. Congrats to Jamie. Truly awesome.
I’m not surprised that the other person you wrote about performed down to his usual standards.Posted by eRobin on 04/17 at 01:17 PM
Go Blackhawks ... Oh, wait…
BTW, not sure if you can do anything about this, but the captcha word is distressingly close in color to the background for us colorblind folk.Posted by kevin on 04/18 at 01:49 PM
Way to go Jamie! We are in the ‘I’m too tired to walk’ phase—ds is four and spilling out of the largest stroller—so thanks for the hope and inspiration.Posted by on 04/18 at 09:37 PM
My congrats to Jamie on a fine athletic performance. and all the best for the futurePosted by kurt on 04/30 at 06:54 AM