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It looks like my Republican National Convention blogging was a huge success!  I’m not talking about the numbers of new readers it brought to this site—although I’m really glad to have you.  No, I’m referring to the fact that my account of the Convention has become this week’s Conventional Wisdom.  That’s right, folks, the Bush Bounce started right here!

Look for example at the latest column by the Dean of Conventional Wisdom, David Broder himself.  “On the first three nights of the convention, the major speakers had sliced and diced Democratic nominee John Kerry but otherwise had been stuck on a single note: the threat of terrorism.” Right-O!  And who had the most convincing, compelling account of the slicing and dicing?  Why, I did!  While everyone else was mewling and whimpering, “um, John Kerry didn’t really vote against those weapons systems” and “oh, oh, I don’t think he ever said he’d give the United Nations veto power over U.S. military actions” and “it’s not quite true, in a philosophical sense, that he ever claimed that the U.S. was engaged in an illegal occupation of Iraq,” blah blah blah, hello liberal quibblers, like anyone’s even listening to you, this blog performed the crucial public service of taking every single GOP claim at face value, the way our media should do.  Did I make mistakes?  Yes, yes I did.  In my haste to wrap up my accounts of the convention by 3 am each morning, I forgot to urge you all to thrill to the story of how Arnold Schwarzenegger, armed only with a pair of 150-pound dumbbells, managed to fight off the Soviet tanks that tried to crush his homeland during the dark Vienna Spring of 1968—finally escaping to the United States where he heard Hubert Humphrey saying that he supported the Soviet invasion of Austria!  No wonder Nixon was a breath of fresh air.  My bad, folks!

More interestingly still, alert reader Al Lert has alerted me to the fact that my blogging of the RNC was almost identical to that of novelist/screenwriter/ blogger Roger L. Simon.  Check it out!  It’s just too uncanny to be true!!

On the honor and dignity that is Ed Koch:

Me:  For a quarter century, the name “Ed Koch” has been synonymous with integrity and rectitude—he’s a beacon of sanity and light in dark times.  If he says George Bush is our man, I think Democrats should sit up straight and listen.

And Roger Simon:

Koch is my man. He is pro War on Terror and pro same sex marriage. He is a moral man of guts who, as a lifetime Democrat, was willing to speak in favor of Bush.

On the warm and fuzzy feelings of that first moderate and tolerant inclusive compassionate night:

Me:  These people really seem very nice, once you get to meet them. They’re not wild-eyed ideologues—they’re just ordinary folks, sitting there in Madison Square Garden, trying to have a good time. They’re as sensible as you or your grandmother, and all they want is for people to love one another, inclusively, in a big tent that is inclusive.

And Roger Simon:

Listening to Giuliani and McCain last night, I was starting to think, well, this Republican thing ain’t so bad.  Just like when I listen to Lieberman or Evan Bayh I think the same thing about Democrats—hey, these folks make sense.

On Zell Miller, the last honest Democrat in America:

Me:  The Zellraiser started off on fire: “Where is the bipartisanship in this country when we need it most?” he asked. Our nation is being torn apart by Democrats and their obsession to bring down our Commander-in-Chief! And that, my friends, is why we cannot unite the country the way we so desperately want to: these goddamn Democrats are a bunch of soft-bellied traitors! They insist on seeing American soldiers as occupiers, not liberators, when in fact, as Zell pointed out, the soldier, not the reporter, has given us the freedom of the press. Many cheers for this line from the crowd below me in the Garden! Screw those reporters who abuse the freedom of the press! Just like the soldier, not the agitator, has given us freedom of expression. Damn to hell fire those protestors who abuse the privilege of freedom of speech! Real American patriots know that dissent is possible only in America, and therefore unnecessary. Actual dissenters, who don’t bathe very often and who habitually abuse the privilege granted them by the military, are therefore traitors. To Gitmo with ‘em all!

And Roger Simon:

I’d like to log in on Zell Miller. That was one down home stemwinder out of the 1930s he gave and I agreed with pretty much everything he said. I think a lot of the negative reaction comes from the general lack of (or fear of) honesty in polite society. You’re not supposed to say what you think. You’re supposed to mask it.

And finally, last but not least, on how Bush’s War on Terror kicks serious butt whereas Bush’s new War to Teach Our Children the Equation for the Volume of a Cone is lame-ass nanny-state nonsense:

Me:  Leadership is all about “making decisions you think are right, and then standing behind those decisions.” Even when it looks like your decision to invade Iraq was based on the advice of a notorious kleptomaniac who was possibly serving as a double agent for Iranian mullahs, you stand behind your decision, because leadership is all about making decisions you think are right and then standing behind them. Um, I said that already. But that’s all right, because it makes it even more true!! And I stand firm in repeating what I said about leadership!!

. . . Why, why, why would Bush mention the economy at a time like this? I thought the important thing was that he will grab terrorists by the throat. All I wanted to know was whether he would rip out the terrorists’ jugular veins or tear their windpipes from their necks. I didn’t want to hear about whether the economy was staggering under the eight count.

And Roger Simon:

Bush is the opposite [of Kerry], the original WYSIWYG candidate—for good or nil. He knows that too and that’s the best part of him. He said as much at the end of his speech last night, acknowledging many of us don’t agree with him on everything, but still soliciting our votes. I appreciated that candor because I certainly don’t. Of course it’s hard for me to imagine a candidate I would agree with on everything, but I admit I wince particularly when he addresses the social issues. Still, that was hardly a surprise and that is the pill I will have to swallow when I vote for him.

Of course that is also why I enjoyed the stomping War on Terror speeches… Giuliani, Miller, McCain… more than I did the others. I didn’t want to be reminded of the parts of Bush’s program with which I disagree.

-- What’s my point, you ask?  Well, I’m certainly not suggesting that Roger Simon copied off my hard work all week.  Simon is a fine, accomplished writer in his own right, and he knows the rules about this kind of thing.  I’m just saying what should be clear by now—that for conventional-wisdom peddlers and for former-liberals-turned-neocon-warriors alike, michaelberube.com is now the most trusted name in news analysis.

And about that Bush Bounce:  it’s no mirage.  I duplicated the Newsweek methodology myself over the weekend, polling eight Republicans, six Democrats, and six undecideds.  When pushed, the undecideds broke evenly, 3-3, and the results are just devastating for Kerry:  57-43 Bush, 55-45 even with the undecided vote.  This one’s over, folks.  You can stick a fork in Kerry—and then you can watch him flip-flop on the grill!!

1. The Simon quotes read like the more satirical.

   Posted by Kathryn Cramer  on  09/06  at  03:42 PM

2. Damn!  Now everyone will like him more than me.

   Posted by  on  09/06  at  04:20 PM

3. Whoa...so Roger Simon is also a liberal lefty academic writing sarcasm? 

   Any chance Instapundit and Little Green Footballs have been doing likewise?

   Posted by PZ Myers  on  09/06  at  04:23 PM

4. I think it’s all up for grabs now, PZ.  And if I can put in a plug for my day job, I just want to point out that this is one of the reasons deconstruction caught on among us literary types 25-30 years ago-- because the relationships among “originals,” “imitations,” and “parodies” really are this damn complicated.

   Posted by  on  09/06  at  04:25 PM

5. I thought Roger Simon was the last honest Democrat?

   Posted by  on  09/06  at  04:57 PM

6. Koch sure as hell ain’t MY man!

   Posted by David Ehrenstein  on  09/06  at  05:11 PM

7. Maybe Roger Simon and I are both the last honest Democrat, Atrios!

   Posted by  on  09/06  at  05:12 PM

8. If Kerry flip-flops on MY grill I’m going to send him back to the abattoir for a little more tough love. I like my fish so fresh it can still flip-flop; my French I prefer filleted, and hung up for a week.

   Posted by  on  09/06  at  06:14 PM

9. I’ve enjoyed the fun convention coverage Michael. Now let’s let or yes be yes and our no be no till election day.

   Posted by  on  09/06  at  07:11 PM

10. "Real American patriots know that dissent is possible only in America, and therefore unnecessary.”

    Is this your line? And I mean that in a pre-Derridean sense. Because it’s the best fucking thing I’ve read in weeks. 

    Posted by  on  09/06  at  07:11 PM

11. Maybe all great alikes think minds?

    Posted by Echidne of the snakes  on  09/06  at  09:03 PM

12. Yep, Djagone, it’s my line, in a pre-Derridean sense.  Though in a Derridean “Signature Event Context” sense, I have to admit that I’m citing myself on this one-- the phrase first appeared my PMLA essay (2003), “American Studies Without Exceptions,” a pdf of which is available in the “essays” section of this site.  And Dale, I fully intended to drop the whole irony schtick from here on in, only to find that I do not speak the schtick-- the schtick speaks me.

    Posted by  on  09/07  at  01:57 AM

13. I happen to like irony, leavened occasionally with some sincerity to provide perspective.  Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps you from crying.  So as Dubya says, “Bring it on!” I want more irony than you can shake a schtick at.  (Try saying that 5 times fast.)

    Posted by  on  09/07  at  04:31 AM

14. Where’d you turn up those six undecideds?  What planet had they been living on?

    Posted by  on  09/08  at  08:41 AM

15. Why, Zantok 6, of course.  Where else?

    Posted by  on  09/08  at  04:32 PM

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