My friend Chris Castiglia brought this to my attention the other night:
[Warning: the language gets a little spicy toward the end, with a vorhanden here and an aufgehoben there. NSFW—not safe for wissenschaft.]
It’s funny because it’s true! I took Rorty’s Heidegger seminar in spring 1985 partly because I was told, in the fall of 1984, that I would need that seminar in order to understand what would be going on in the Derrida seminar scheduled for fall 1985. I never took the Derrida seminar, though, which is why I remain mired in the metaphysics of presence to this day. It’s ontotheological, I know, but I like it.
I also like this. It is my second favorite ad in all of adland, next to everyone’s favorite ad, the Old Spice “the man your man could smell like” bit. But what I really like is that at 0:11…
the standard disclaimer appears, “Professional driver on closed road. Do not attempt.” Because I would hate for you kids today to go careening around the surface of Ganymede in your hip-hoppity moon rovers just because you saw someone do it on TV.
The moon may be a harsh mistress, but it’s also apparently a Bad Neighborhood (tm).
I’ve been trying for a good ten minutes to come up with something that works “ontotheology” into a snarky comment, but I got nothing. (Hey, wait a minute, that works! Nothing, no thing, das Nichts nichtet!)Posted by John Protevi on 05/27 at 12:03 PM
That first video is fucking brilliant. And the beauty of it is you don’t even have to know all that much about the topics in discussion to want to reach through the computer screen and strangle the life force out of the character on the left.
My favorite part is at 2:06 when the character on the right finally looses it and says, “Oh for fuck’s sake!”Posted by on 05/27 at 01:12 PM
Oops - typo. I meant to write 1:09 as the marker for that first video.Posted by on 05/27 at 01:15 PM
John, really, nothing? Not even the old Heidegger joke, “take my wife, please—now, there’s a woman who’s always being-with-Others”? And O-Girl, definitely, the “for fuck’s sake” is the coffee-on-monitor moment. Though you really have to read Husserl in German if you are ever going to understand “for fuck’s sake.”Posted by on 05/27 at 03:29 PM
“take my wife, please—now, there’s a woman who’s always being-with-Others”?
Heidegger jokes aren’t my strong suit, but how about this: “I just got back from a pleasure trip. Yeah, I was taking my mother-in-law to the airport. Talk about Being-toward-death! That woman could peel the world-references from a hammer!”
I think I’ve got the hang of it now!
I’ll be back as soon as I can think of something that includes “Hannah Arendt,” “the human condition,” and “idle chatter.”Posted by John Protevi on 05/27 at 03:51 PM
Since Hannah lease that swamp cooler, it’s been cold and clammy at her place. On, every visit, I’d all chatter my teeth and everything, because Hannah rent the humid conditioner.
Hey, it’s been a rough week here. Sorry.Posted by on 05/27 at 04:23 PM
Off topic, but what’s up with Roy Edroso using your borrowed “mansion and a yacht” line (http://alicublog.blogspot.com/)? That’s yours!
In a borrowed sort of possessive way, of course.Posted by on 05/27 at 04:29 PM
All right, Edroso. You know what this means.Posted by on 05/27 at 06:12 PM
And if only we hadn’t lost nearly all the early archives for this blog in the floods of aught-four - lotta current stuff might be clearer. Plus there were some killer Heidegger jokes, if memory serves.Posted by on 05/27 at 06:22 PM
Q: Why did God cross the road?
A: U R DOING IT WRONG!Posted by on 05/27 at 07:14 PM
Is it just my own perception, lost in first person land, that, since the Super Bowl, advertisers have become more brazen in promoting dysfunction? Bud Light has always been idiotic, but so many others are following in that path. Am i so out of it that they no longer speak to me with their idioms and flawed analogies? I feel so old.
But the captcha says it all: Does it ‘matter?’Posted by on 05/27 at 07:37 PM
Is it just my own perception, lost in first person land, that, since the Super Bowl, advertisers have become more brazen in promoting dysfunction?
I blame Bob Dole.Posted by on 05/27 at 08:31 PM
I blame Bob Dole.
Well yes, there is that persistent Viagra vehicle doing circles on NASCAR tracks.
I know, but I like it.
But i like it, like it, yes i do… i like it… i like it…Posted by on 05/28 at 10:49 AM
Well, I think people who are trying to understand German philosophers in translation are wasting their time. So I’m with the Kraut. If you want to be involved in that stuff, Learn the Language.
I’m fluent in German, and like most German speakers I can’t be bothered with German philosophers except in small doses. But I base that assessment on actual experience reading certain philosophers in German.
The amount of nonsense spun out in graduate departments by non-speakers of German about the German philosophers should be a fucking embarrassment to scholars.Posted by Hattie on 05/28 at 12:15 PM
John, I think this means we can’t make Heidegger jokes anymore. At least not in English.Posted by on 05/28 at 01:05 PM
That sanctuary could also be called “The TOSsed salad of a demented mind.”
captcha: what a sad “corner” of the webtubesPosted by Bill Benzon on 05/28 at 01:08 PM
Micheal, ja das ist wahr, mein Deutsch ist sehr schlect! Aber, vom Wesen der Wahrheit ist die Rede.
OK, who am I kidding? The last time I read Heidegger auf Deutsch was circa 2001, the last time I wrote on him. But then again, I guess I’m just a fucking embarrassment to scholars. At least that’s what my Doktorvater told me when he wanted to lay down some Wahrheit!Posted by John Protevi on 05/28 at 01:47 PM
At least that’s what my Doktorvater told me when he wanted to lay down some Wahrheit!
Chicka-Wow Chicka-Wow Wow!
Ah rendted from you with volition;
You improved mah human condition.
But only idle chatter remains,
Gad, Protevi, couldn’t you have come up with something even slightly less challenging? This one is a real poser.Posted by on 05/28 at 01:59 PM
Oh mds, don’t make me break out the Nietzsche! That which doesn’t kill me, und so weiter.
But seriously, the last one is great! Not a fucking embarrassment to scholars at all!
Captcha, and I am not making this up: “military” as in “budget, of Greece, completely out of proportion to its size, nice boost to German and French arms companies, strangely under-reported”Posted by John Protevi on 05/28 at 03:02 PM
Heidegger jokes are verboten!Posted by Hattie on 05/28 at 06:30 PM
Verboten ... that means “true robots,” right? I don’t have time to consult my big ****ing German dictionary.Posted by on 05/28 at 10:58 PM
Seems to me we should dispense with the German and let Shaloub do the talking.
Even Einstein says the guy’s onto something; in a way, it’s the only fact there is.Posted by on 05/28 at 11:44 PM
Hannah Arendt dismissed as idle chatter
the speculation as to just whose labor
produced the citrus sectioned on the platter,
each fruit divided in tripartite schism.
“The hearth is private,” said she, “Homo Faber
must work in public. The crux of the matter:
are they grown free, under humane conditions,
or oranges of totalitarianism?”Posted by Chris Clarke on 05/28 at 11:44 PM
"… “true robots,” right?”
truthiness?Posted by Bill Benzon on 05/29 at 04:22 AM
or oranges of totalitarianism?
Okay, fine, I’m officially retiring. This Clarke kid has too good of a throwing arm.Posted by on 05/29 at 08:43 AM
Coming soon: The Oranges of Totalitarianism graphic novel. Starring Martin Heidegger as “The Professor,” Hannah Arendt as “The Student,” and Herbert Marcuse as “The Other Student.”
Captcha: “beyond” as in “the pleasure principle.”Posted by John Protevi on 05/29 at 09:47 AM
The Oranges of Totalitarianism graphic novel
Then there is the prequel: Plums of Plutocracy; featuring Karl Marx as the secret agent provacateur, Hegel as the curmudgeonly bourgeois theorist, and introducing Gouyen as the proletariat rebel ingenue.Posted by on 05/29 at 10:02 AM
...and at the end, William Carlos Williams eats them all.Posted by on 05/29 at 10:11 AM
Apples of Agronomy, Starring Adam, Eve, God in a brief Cameo, and introducing The Snake.Posted by Bill Benzon on 05/29 at 10:17 AM
Wow, the possibilities are endless. Gourds of Agorism, The Olivegarchy, Stunted Carrion Flowers of Right-libertarianism, etc, etc.Posted by on 05/29 at 01:02 PM
this is just to say
I have eaten
the plutocratic plums
that were in
you were probably
were historically inevitable
they were delicious
and so very exemplary of the false needs engendered by capitalism’s fetishising of consumptionPosted by Chris Clarke on 05/29 at 02:43 PM
so much depends
a red wheel
glazed with revolution
beside the white
russians.Posted by on 05/29 at 03:57 PM
You Communists and Republicans!
all you Germans and Frenchmen!
you corpses and quickeners!
The stars are about to melt
and fall on you in tears.Posted by on 05/29 at 05:33 PM
I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every unit of surplus value belonging to me as good belongs to you.
I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of oil-soaked dune grass.
My tongue, every atom of my blood, form’d from this soil, this air,
Born in Kenya of parents born there from parents the same, and their
parents the same,
I, now thirty-seven years old with no pre-existing conditions
Hoping to cease not before my insurance runs out.
Creeds and schools in abeyance,
Retiring back a while sufficed at what they are, but never forgotten,
I harbor for good or bad, I permit to speak at every hazard,
Nature without check with renewable energy.
Captcha, “glass,” as in “leaves of”Posted by John Protevi on 05/29 at 05:52 PM
One must have a mind of Issa
To regard the campaign of Joe Sestak
And the phone call and quid pro quo;
And have been cold a long time
To behold the tea leaves bagged with ice,
The Palins rough in the distant glitter
Of the Alaska sun; and to think at once
Of Obama’s impeachment in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,
Which is the sound of the House
Full of the same wind
That was blowing in 1998
For the Rush listener, who listens in the car,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.Posted by on 05/29 at 07:26 PM
Okay, the admiring envy is fast giving way to jealousy. If I weren’t having to comment from izrael, I’d give you all whatfor upside the head.
There once was a poem called “Nantucket"…
(No, no, bad idea.)
in a soiled undershirt
still finds a way
to pity the fool.
See? This is what I’m reduced to. The way the rest of you make it look so effortless has left me a sullen pig of a man.Posted by on 05/29 at 08:27 PM
But we are in springen
and not in winter
when white russians are better received
A season of mint
juleps that is
and fresh cuban mojitoes
a fine taste
that can’t be believed
So a toast to Che
and to Fidel as well
for fine cubans and revolutionaries true
but most of all
i raise my fifth
to the secular socialist movement
May the german composer be through
“tell” for william, and apple margaritas.Posted by on 05/29 at 09:34 PM
history’s a joke
with one fucking hand clapping in the fucking breeze blowing through the fucking exotic oriental fucking forest for fuck’s sakePosted by Bill Benzon on 05/29 at 11:30 PM
Hayek Becker Fama World,
Deal Maker, Stacker of Decks,
Trader of Railroads and the School of Freshwater;
Stigler, Fogel, Posner,
City of the Efficient Markets:
They tell me you are libertarian and I believe them, for I
have seen your freelance women under the gas lamps
free-trading with the rational actors.
And they tell me you are curved and I answer: Yes, it
is true I have seen the Friedman shill and go free to
And they tell me you are monetarist and my reply is: Excessive growth in the supply of money necessarily brings about inflationary trends.
And having answered so I turn once more to those who
sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer
and say to them:
Come and show me another city with laissez-faire economic policies making miracles of wealth, unchained business attracting investment and more business, capital piled on capital.
And they tell me Santiago under Pinochet, until it all inevitably collapsed and my reply is I believe them, but look! Behind you! The Winged Victory of Samothrace! And I run away when their backs are turned.Posted by Chris Clarke on 05/30 at 01:55 AM
Terrible gallows humor joke, but with the Gulf
oil spillBP’s unmitigated man-made deep water volcanic vent of crude oil and gas, I’m in a kinda gallows humor mood, if you know what I mean. Joke follows:
“I heard Salvador Allende died of natural causes”
“Yeah, you get shot that many times, it’s only natural you’re going to die.”Posted by John Protevi on 05/30 at 09:44 AM
That is one nasty link, John. I don’t think it’s possible to write poetry after Corexit.Posted by on 05/30 at 11:06 AM
But wait, there’s more!
Okay, now, that’s enough. Captcha is getty scary: “top,” as in “kill, hat, whatever.”Posted by John Protevi on 05/30 at 12:31 PM
Excuse me, but Senor Presidente Allende committed suicide by calling down a bombing run on himself, albeit, one conducted by the Pinochet-led junta. Good lord, that was nearly 40 years ago now.
Corexit sounds like White Out for oil spills. Corexit: mask it over so no one sees it!Posted by on 05/30 at 09:58 PM
A bit late, and slow to boot; but on behalf of my people I just wanted to say that I don’t really get the joke of the first video. More exactly, in order to be a joke, doesn’t something have to actually have to be an exaggeration?
Here’s an exchange I actually had with someone who has read a great deal more than I have and who, for some reason, always spells Theory with a capital T:
Unlearned: “What do people mean when they talk about `post-structuralism’”?
Learned: “You can’t understand what `post-structuralism’ means without first understanding structuralism and how it was used.”
Unlearned: “So, what was structuralism?”
Learned: “You can’t really understand structuralism without having been immersed in it for twenty years.”
So, while I feel for the creature who can only afford one overalls shoulder strap, the whole exchange doesn’t seem at all exaggerated to me. Certainly all of my encounters with the People of Theory have ended with my being told “You’ll have to read at least these ten books before I can even begin to explain to you how unenlightened and stupid you are.” Booklight tyranny: it can work for you!Posted by on 06/05 at 11:49 PM
Landru, as Kierkegaard once said—or was it Homer Simpson?—it’s funny because it’s true. And if you’d like an under-5000 word intro to structuralism, there’s always this old blog post.Posted by Michael on 06/06 at 07:24 AM
The German accent sounds so natural. Oh, the video is very funny anywayPosted by essay editors on 06/30 at 02:24 PM
This radio is interesting!Posted by cheap prada purse on 09/10 at 02:57 AM
haha..great. Animation had been evolving fast. One of the great improvement of entertainment.Posted by jason on 01/03 at 07:46 AM
No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.Posted by arts4webs.com on 04/13 at 02:16 AM
love that video, it’s so adorable.Posted by Boys Suit on 04/29 at 07:46 PM