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Monday, November 10, 2008

Democratic Concern Trolls Voice Concern About the Future of Democratic Concern Trolling

Falls Church, VA—Citing “clear and present dangers to the party,” a group of leading Democratic concern trolls gathered over the weekend to express their concerns about recent Democratic victories at the polls.  The group, calling itself “Concerned Democrats for America,” announced in a press release that it would hold annual conferences throughout Barack Obama’s presidency in an attempt “to keep the Democratic Party in touch with the concerns of the American people.”

“Obama’s election is a historic event,” said former Clinton advisor Lanny Davis, co-chair of the newly-formed Fox News Democrat Caucus.  “But I’m concerned that Obama may have raised expectations too high.  What will happen when he has to face down the left-wing Congressional leadership or the Daily Kos brigades, who will undoubtedly try to goad him into adopting a narrowly partisan agenda?  I worry that Obama won’t have the courage to cut those people loose when he needs to.”

Journalist Amy Sullivan agreed, adding, “I’m hearing a lot of concerns about where the Democratic party goes from here.  Specifically, I’m concerned that fewer Democrats are going to be willing to take seriously the concerns of people who want to reach out across the aisle and establish a bipartisan consensus that abortion is wrong.  What will happen when the party is no longer concerned about these people’s concerns?  Based on what I’m hearing, I have to worry that it will back itself into increasingly radical and unpopular positions on this important issue.”

Other members of the Concerned Democrats focused more on the 2008 electoral map than on “hot-button” social issues.  Democratic strategist David “Mudcat” Saunders, in a plenary address to the group, noted that Obama had managed to make inroads into traditionally Republican southern states such as Virginia and North Carolina, while sweeping Ohio, Florida, Iowa , and even Indiana, which had not voted for a Democrat since 1864.  “There’s a real problem looming here,” said Saunders, “even if most Democrats don’t want to face it right now.  As the Republican party increasingly becomes the party of old white people living in Appalachia, the Ozarks, and the barren windswept areas of the Louisiana Purchase, Democrats are going to be less and less inclined to listen to advisors who insist that the Democratic Party must choose leaders who are white male Southern Baptists familiar with barbeque, NASCAR, and the music of Lynyrd Skynyrd.  I’m especially concerned about what will happen to the party once those advisors’ concerns are no longer given a prominent hearing.  Will Democrats stop trying to appeal to conservative Southern whites?  Will Democrats become instead a regional party, confined to the northeast, the Middle Atlantic, the Great Lakes and upper midwest, the mountain southwest, and the Pacific states?  All this talk about the Latino vote and the Jewish vote may be obscuring the importance of the Bubba vote, and that concerns me, as it should you.”

Former Senator and newly-elected CDA president Bob Kerrey summed up the concerns of many participants in his closing remarks, noting that “America is still a center-right country.  Every map confirms this simple fact: when you look at the United States, you see that most people live in the center and on the right side of the map.  That’s why the Democratic Party needs preening, distinguished center-right elder statesmen who model themselves on Daniel Patrick Moynihan—now more than ever.”

Posted by Michael on 11/10 at 05:25 AM
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