Saturday, April 23, 2005
Hey you! Stop reading this blog!
I’m taking a few minutes out of a busy weekend to let you all know that this abject blog is now officially in crisis mode. Having entertained more than 50,000 visitors per week for the past two weeks—and having incompetently posted a couple of uncompressed photos along the way—we are so egregiously exceeding our bandwidth allowance that it’s not funny. In fact, Kurt took some time out of his actual vacation to send me an urgent e-mail (subject line: whoa baby) letting me know (a) that we were basically running more than double our bandwidth limit and (b) that just after he’d renegotiated the limit, we surged to something like 5G a day. OK, so we compressed the photos. But still, the growing pains are intense.
This blog has never sought reader donations, and we’re not about to start now. I thought for a while about looking for corporate or foundation sponsorship—I hear Wal-Mart is looking to break into the blogging business, and I considered asking Richard Mellon Scaife for a friendly helping hand—but I just don’t want to deal with the paperwork. That leaves only one solution: I have to start driving readers away. I’m sorry about this—you know I love you all—but I don’t see any other way out.
What’s especially curious about this most recent spike in readership is that it comes just after Butterflies and Wheels did not recommend this blog. Back on April 13, Ophelia Benson wrote:
The blog overall I don’t recommend. Bérubé has always struck me as quite self-infatuated, and unpleasant to people he disagrees with. . . . The combination of aggression and self-absorption is not all that appealing. . . . [S]elf self self always seems to creep in. If only he could keep the style and bag the preening.
When I read that, my heart just sank. Butterflies and Wheels does not recommend my blog—and it was personal, not business! Readers, you know perfectly well there’s no way for me to keep the style and bag the preening. So I figured I might as well fold my little blog-tent and go home. I mean, sure, this humble blog has been, from time to time, smugly self-satisfied and absurdly self-aggrandizing, but self-infatuated? Ouch! Surely my days were numbered. Imagine my surprise, then, to be hit not only with Ms. Benson’s stern disapproval (which hurts quite enough on its own), but with a series of overage charges to boot. April is indeed the cruellest—and the busiest—month.
But I think I have my solution to all this traffic, for now. For all of you who didn’t get the memo: Butterflies and Wheels does not recommend this blog. Go someplace else. And if you don’t, I warn you: I will come back tomorrow and blog about my hockey season. Don’t make me do that.