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Friday, March 19, 2004

Mel Gibson Honored for Promoting Understanding

NANTES-ON-WABASH, INDIANA (Christian News Network), March 19-- Prominent conservative Catholic and Protestant leaders today announced that they plan to award Mel Gibson a special Citation of Interfaith Healing in response to his controversial film, The Passion of the Christ.

The Passion is an exceptionally powerful film,” said Hugh Ginnow, chairman of the American Association for the Eradication of Popery, “and it has compelled us to rethink everything about our mission here on Earth.  Basically, we’ve spent almost five hundred years fighting the Whore of Babylon in the form she currently takes in the Vatican.  But Mel Gibson has shown us in two hours what we have failed to understand for half a millennium-- that the Vatican is not our enemy.  Jews are our enemy, and we must ask for our Catholic brothers’ forgiveness in Christ.”

Ginnow’s remarks were echoed by Tom More, president of the Catholic Campaign for the Re-Establishment of Medieval Practices and Punishments.  “Gibson has changed my life,” More said to a gathering of followers and reporters today.  “All my life I’ve been obsessed with sects-- all these damned Lutherans, Calvinists, Episcopalians, Presbyterians, Methodists, Wesleyans, Puritans, Quakers, Baptists, Anabaptists, Seventh-Day Adventists, Mormons, Christian Scientists, Mennonites, and Jehovah’s Witnesses, all running around denying the authority of the Holy Father and the sacred mystery of the Eucharist.  Time was, I wanted to take them all and dip their various body parts into vats of boiling oil until they prayed to the Virgin Mother and acknowledged the power of the clergy to forgive sin.  But Hell, now I say let bygones be bygones-- we have bigger fish to fry.  It’s time for us to forget that whole crazy Reformation - Counter-Reformation thing and get back to job one, namely, persecuting the Jews.”

Ginnow and More also announced the formation of Partners in Christ, an interfaith organization dedicated to encouraging conservative Catholics and Protestants to forgive each other for centuries of religious bloodshed in Europe and the Americas.  “I’m sorry for so much,” said Ginnow to More, opening the reconciliation by admitting that “we’ve been beastly in Ireland, just beastly, and I hope you can forgive us.” ”Te absolvo,” replied More, “and I apologize for Cardinal Richelieu,” adding, “I love you, man.”

Curiously, however, tempers flared briefly as Ginnow pointed out that he had apologized for over three centuries of Protestant rule in Ireland since the Battle of the Boyne, whereas More had apologized for only one historical figure-- “and a guy who was despised by many of his own allies, at that,” remarked Ginnow.  But within minutes order and agape were restored as Ginnow offered to take More to see The Passion again-- “and this time,” he noted, “I’ll let you bless the popcorn.”

Posted by Michael on 03/19 at 06:49 AM
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