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Monday, January 31, 2005

Post-Atrios blogwhoring

My stars, twelve thousand visitors in about ten hours.  Such is the power of a link from the mighty Eschaton!  But why is anyone surprised that the wry Mr. Black declined to give away the joke?  Haven’t we done this routine a couple of times before, like during the heady days of the Republican National Convention, which I blogged at great peril to my sanity and my liver?  Back then, that pair of links alone almost tripled this site’s readership, kicking us from 40,000 visitors a month up to 110,000/month right through the election.  So thanks again, Atrios!  May we make the world safe-- somehow, someday-- for pan-on-dog sex.

Now, if I were a savvy full-time blogger instead of a professor/print-media slogger who spends most of his working day trying to do “real” writing, I’d have seized upon the arrival of all these new visitors about eight hours ago and asked them to visit the Koufax Awards, where it appears that my six nominations are but a prelude to an oh-for-six shutout from the finals.  Here’s the rundown so far:

Best Writing: 15 votes out of 621 cast.  And this is the category where I stood a chance!  Kind of.

Best New Blog: 15 votes out of 687 cast.  Oh, well, maybe next year.

Most Humorous Post (for Second Night from the RNC): 8 votes out of 130 cast.  Hey, still breathing!

Most Humorous Blog: 12 votes out of 647 cast.  I was a long shot here– the competition is much too fierce, and in fact some of the individual competitors are quite fierce as well (do I have to say “Giblets”?).

Best Series (for the whole RNC): 5 votes out of 316 cast.  That’s all right– this is an even longer shot.  We don’t really do “series” here.  That one was an accident!

Most Deserving of Wider Recognition: 2 votes out of 687 cast.  This seems to me just about right, or perhaps even two votes too many.  The truth is that this blog does not deserve any wider recognition.  On the contrary, as I learned from consulting the internationally-respected Blog Recognition Index, this blog’s idiosyncratic and often self-indulgent content (like this very post!) dictates that it should be receiving no more than 2400-2600 readers per day, and we actually average 3300.  In other words, far from feeling slighted in this category, I actually have to face the bad news that this blog should be getting about thirty percent less recognition than it currently receives.

Best Group Blog, Best Expert Blog, Best Single Issue Blog, Best Commentor: not eligible, last I checked.

Best Overall Blog and Best Post: not nominated, even though Maggie Gallagher and Armstrong Williams promised they’d deliver for me if I left the cash in a paper bag in the second garbage can in Wingnut Alley.  Those double-crossing little sneaks!  No doubt they got a better deal someplace else.

OK, so that’s the Koufax Update, sorry as it is.  But thanks to everyone who voted for me.

Now for another competition about which I learned earlier today: the Fourth Annual Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest.  Adam Cohen of winningwriters.com says, “this contest invites people to make up absurd poems and send them to ‘vanity contests’ as a joke. Prizes are awarded to the best bad poems. There is no entry fee.” The judge is Jendi Reiter, and the deadline is April 1.  The prizes, sensibly enough, are $1,190, $169, and $60, with five honorable mentions of $38 each.  Wergle Flomp aspirants should submit one (1) poem online.  This is a real thing.  And tell ‘em Pan the Goat-Boy sent you!

Posted by Michael on 01/31 at 09:48 PM
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