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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Sybillity

Sadly, No!’s responses to Mark Kleiman’s response to Atrios’ response and Digby’s response to Ana Marie Cox’s response to Stephen Colbert’s routine at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner went way over the line of civility.

Furthermore, Kevin Drum’s response to Jon Chait’s response and Marshall Wittman’s response to Atrios’ response and Kos’ response to Jon Chait’s response to Ned Lamont’s primary challenge to Joe Lieberman is emblematic of the malaria swamp to which radical left-wing Symbionese Liberation Army sympathizers have reduced the blogosphere.  (Drum’s claim that he and Kos are not radical left-wing Symbionese Liberation Army sympathizers is especially ripe, given their enthusiasm for “humanitarian intervention” in Symbionia.) And Sadly, No!’s response to Drum’s response affords a disgusting display of Bush-hatred, albeit Bush-hatred as expressed by some guy named Jon Chait.  The blogosphere used to be a nice place.  But now, if you dare to let your kids go there, you have to cover their ears!  Or cover something.  Perhaps it’s time for an Internets Civility Filter.

For nothing demonstrates liberals’ destruction of the blogosphere so well as Atrios’ response and Digby’s response to Richard Cohen’s response to liberal bloggers’ responses to Richard Cohen’s response to Stephen Colbert’s routine at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.  Verily, those liberal bloggers are like unto a “digital lynch mob,” as the effervescent, witty Cohen puts it, and they will surely do irreparable damage to the Democrat Party.  Also—almost forgot!—Sadly, No!’s response to Digby’s response sucks eggs.

Listen, people.  People?  PEOPLE!!!!

Jeez, you gotta shout in here just to get anyone’s attention.

Look, there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about this.  As I myself have recently pointed out in an exceptionally civil response to a commenter’s response to my response to Belle Waring’s response to Eugene Volokh’s entirely sensible suggestion that unwanted sexual touching “might in fact be disturbing partly because of the arousal, or of the possibility of arousal,” it is wrong to respond to clueless wankers and smug, supercilious Washington Post columnists by getting angry with them.  Rather, the civil and decent thing to do is to ridicule them mercilessly in a polite, respectful, and devastating manner, as this fine, upstanding young man has done.

So the next time you’re confronted with a clueless wanker or a smug, supercilious columnist (which, by my calculations, should be at some point within the hour), don’t come on like “a big bowl of Angry Flakes that never runs out”; take your cue instead from the most fearsome criminal in the annals of fearsome criminality, Doug Piranha.  Use sarcasm.  Use all the tricks—dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and—satire.  Be vicious.  But be civil!  Richard Cohen will never figure out what hit him.  (Of this you can be sure!)

Let’s go over this again, shall we?  It’s an important point.

Digital lynch mobs of radical left-wing Symbionese Liberation Army sympathizers armed with a big bowl of Maryscott O’Connor® Brand Angry Flakes are bad for the Democrat Party.  If not for digital lynch mobs of radical left-wing Symbionese Liberation Army sympathizers armed with a big bowl of Maryscott O’Connor® Brand Angry Flakes, political discourse in the United States would be characterized by good sound Habermasian communicative reason, and Max Cleland would still be a Senator today.

Polite, respectful, decorous, civil bloggers armed with sarcasm, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes (especially the litotes) and satire are good for the Democrat Party.  With the help of polite, respectful, decorous, civil bloggers armed with sarcasm, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes (especially the litotes) and satire, the Democrat Party will take back the House and Senate this fall.  And then, finally, we can make the bastards pay!  We will launch an investigation into smug, supercilious, clueless wanking, and we will issue our first subpoena to Richard Cohen.

Tomorrow: join the Campaign to Prevent Massive Linkdumping!

UPDATE:  The Campaign Against Incestuous Blogosphere Metacommentary could use your help, too.  Thanks, Steve!

EXTRA UPDATE, MAY 10:  The previous update inexplicably left Skippy out of the mix.  How could I have overlooked the man who coined the term “blogtopia” while covering one of the biggest pileups on Blogtopia Parkway?  Lazy clicking finger, that’s how!

And don’t forget to check out Barbara’s thoughtful response to the responses, either.

Posted by Michael on 05/09 at 11:14 AM
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