Wednesday, May 26, 2004
The 40 percenters
Yeah, yeah, Bush’s numbers are down. But in order for Democrats to get his approval rating to be where it should be, post-Clarke, post-Abu Ghraib-- that is, somewhere between 5 and 15 percent (somewhat higher in the South)-- we need to understand just why his remaining supporters are still hanging on.
So, as a public service to all the smart, well-informed, snarky progressives and liberals and lefties reading this blog on a regular basis, I’ve devised a handy pop quiz that we can distribute to Bush supporters, in order to discover (in the best traditions of Gramscian cultural studies) the continuing appeal of the Bush presidency.
What is it you like most about the Bush administration and its policies?
___ I like the lying! It turned me on when the President spiked that EPA report on the toxic air quality around Ground Zero, thereby consigning thousands of firefighters, police, Guardsmen, rescue workers, and ordinary citizens to debilitating lifelong respiratory illness! If people are so worried about a few tiny particles floating around, let them buy those little fiber masks, for goodness’ sake! Every Ace Hardware sells ‘em.
___ I like the incompetence! It’s so cool the way the President and his advisors blew off legitimate CIA and DIA intelligence on Iraq, and decided instead to take the word of an Iraqi double agent who’s working together with Iranian Islamists. The post-"Mission Accomplished” occupation of Iraq has been every bit as cool!
___ I like the torture! I came for the tax cuts, but I’m staying for the torture and humiliation of random Arabs from Gitmo to Abu Ghraib! It’s such a pleasant surprise, and so damn long overdue! That’ll show whoever-they-all-are that you don’t mess with the U.S.!
___ I like the cuts to veterans’ benefits! Why should a bunch of veterans get all those free medical goodies? I support the troops, sure, but only by flying a flag from my car. Don’t come around here asking me to pay more taxes just because some soldier comes home with the sniffles.
___ I like the attacks on overtime pay! I’m sick and tired of people freeloading off the rest of us by working ten or twelve hours a day. And I’m sick and tired of the way Democrats pander to their special interests. It’s about time we had a President tough enough to draw the line when it comes to outrageous labor demands.
___ I like the $500 billion deficit! Clinton made me sick with all his feelgood liberal talk about “balancing” the so-called “budget.” Reagan proved that deficits don’t matter!
___ I like the new Medicare plan! Though I wish someone would explain it to me. What’s this about donuts being covered after two thousand dollars?
___ I like the cowboy hat! I also like the whole Crawford ranch brush-clearing thing. I think it’s shameful that Bill Clinton left him all that brush to clear.
___ Could you repeat the question? I wasn’t really paying attention.
Please clip and send to a Bush voter near you. Thanks.