Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Jets At War
All right, am I crazy to think the Jets actually have a chance against the Monsters of the Midwest? I mean, against their actual “starters” over “four quarters.” Because here’s what I saw last weekend: on Saturday, the Colts seemed to smoosh a hapless, punchless Ravens team 20-3. But wait! One of those Colts touchdowns was actually a gift from the officiating crew, who decided to call two phantom penalties on the Ravens secondary on the Colts’ final drive of the first half, and then decided to pretend that the Colts’ penultimate play of the half lasted only two seconds. (And you thought that time-warpy thing could only happen in the Big House!) OK, so really we’re talking 13-3 or 16-3. And then in the second half, there was the Ed Reed factor. Merciful Moloch, that young man is talented. Unfortunately, at some point this year someone told him that the NFL had converted to Australian Rules, and now he thinks that after he intercepts a pass he has to dribble the ball once every ten yards. Anyway, the game could have been a nailbiter if a few breaks had gone the other way, is what I’m saying. And the Colts appear to have zero running game, zero. I hear their quarterback is well-regarded, but then again, the Jets’ pass defense does not suck. So I’m gonna say Jets 16-7. I don’t know why—it just sounds nice.
The NFC Championship poses a serious problem for my eventual Super Bowl pick, since neither team has a manly jersey. The Vikings’ cute purple has only gotten more festive in recent years, and the Saints, of course, sport the deadly fleur-de-lis. But who cares? Here’s to a Saints-Jets Super Bowl, surely a sign of the Apocalypse and a harbinger of the incoming Palin Administration.
Oh, right, and here’s Frank Caliendo talking about Jet Favre.
In other news, The Left At War manages to get almost everything right in a way that’s almost totally wrong, and even picks up a brief discussion in Newsweek—in the context of a review of The Hurt Locker, of all things. Actually I think I agree with Seth Colter Walls’ argument that the actual content of recent Iraq films has been stripped of any serious political, you know, content. As for Paul Anderson’s review of the book, well, I suppose it’s nice to be mostly right in a largely wrong kind of way, but when someone says “he under-eggs the case for getting rid of Saddam which was—yes, really—a lot stronger than he claims,” I have to say that a parenthetical “yes, really” doesn’t really make the case. If you think the prowar case was stronger than I let on, go ahead and make it! I was kind of hoping to have that argument, after all.
So, to recap: Jets over Colts 16-7, Saints over Vikings ... um ... let’s say 59-28 to be safe. And don’t forget to go out and buy a copy of The Left At War, because it’s selling like
hotcakes lutefisk and it’s fun for the whole family.