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Friday, March 04, 2005

Ministry of Culture and Beer

My apologies, Madame President-for-Life Sheelzebub, for not acknowledging your beneficence earlier.  I am truly grateful to have been appointed Minister of Culture and Beer.

My first act as your Minister is this:  I will-- and hereby do-- ask my readers whether the nations of France and Italy should continue producing beer at all.  Their hearts are clearly not in it; the French “soixante” (or “1664,” as the label actually says) tastes more or less what beer brewed with chalk, and that Italian Peroni simply isn’t fooling anyone.  I therefore submit that the French and Italians devote themselves exclusively to consumer goods they really care about, like food and wine and shoes and haute couture and fast cars, and leave the beer to the English and Germans and maybe the Dutch.  Let the People of the Guttural Languages have their hops and the People of the Mellifluous Languages have their grapes.  Readers?

Posted by Michael on 03/04 at 09:37 AM
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