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Monday, January 26, 2004

Wait a minute-- there’s a presidential candidate who plays hockey?

Holy Mother of the Shorthanded Goal, this changes everything.  Why didn’t anyone tell me this?  Could it be that it’s completely irrelevant to the question of who takes the White House back from George Bush and his cronies on the Supreme Court who installed him there-- or could it be the result of the right-wing domination of American mass media?

So far the evidence points to the latter.  Apparently the transcript of John Kerry’s Sunday interview with Fox News’s Chris Wallace reads as follows:

KERRY:  And yesterday, I got to be out on the ice with guys like Ray Bork (ph) and Cam Neely (ph) and Kenny Hodge (ph)…
WALLACE: We should point out (inaudible) Boston Bruins…
KERRY: I’m telling you, for a kid like me, who grew up with those guys as our heroes, I’m in seventh heaven still. I’m on a high.
WALLACE: You scored two goals. Did they let you score them, sir?
KERRY: If you play with the Bruins, they make you look good.

Over at Counterspin Central, Hesiod calmly points out (in comments) that this “means that whoever did the transcript has no idea who Ray Bourque is. Nor did the person who edited it.” To which another commenter replied, “‘Borque’ is kinda French, so I’m guessing that Fox misspelled it on purpose to annoy his fans.  Which will lead to the widespread use of this tactic, henceforth known as ‘Borqueing.’” Very clever (OK, I wish I’d said it first), but I think it’s obvious that the folks at Fox only know one Bork.

But seriously-- Kerry scored two goals in a charity hockey game?  I think that’s all I need to hear.  Never mind Iraq, universal health care, civil unions, the Bush Tax and the Bush Deficit.  I’ve found my issue.  I want the guy who can put the puck in the net.

For the VP slot, obviously, we will need an enforcer.  I’m open to suggestions, but remember, he has to be (a) born in the US and (b) not currently a resident of Massachusetts.  So Bruins toughguy Sandy McCarthy is out on both counts.

All right, enough of this.  Here’s a more sane and sober analysis of the Four Remaining Plausibles from one of my favorite journalists, David Corn.

Posted by Michael on 01/26 at 04:16 PM
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