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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

What kind of transhuman are you?

In our ongoing effort to bring you commentary on last week’s Internets badinage this week, this blog would like to devise one of those “which Shakespearean character/ American city/ question of Summa Theologica are you” quizzes.  Unfortunately, because we have no idea how to do this, we’ll have to settle for a standard multiple-choice format.  So, then.  What kind of transhuman are you?

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You’re the latest generation of the Nexus-6!  It takes hundreds of Voight-Kampff questions to distinguish you from a real human, and you have serious femme fatale hair.  On the other hand, you are portrayed by Sean Young, and that can’t be a good thing, because she herself is a replicant—and not a particularly stable one.

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You’re Robocop!  You love saying “Dead or alive, you are coming with me,” and you gamely oppose the entire Paul Verhoeven crew of malefactors and miscreants.  On the other hand, you live in Detroit.

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You’re Darth Vader!  Your breathing noises are really cool, and you accessorize well.  On the other hand, you have to appear in no fewer than three prequels, and recite some of the worst dialogue ever written in English.

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You’re Steve Austin!  You are compatible with both Farrah Fawcett and Lindsay Wagner, which must be some kind of late-70s TV exacta.  On the other hand, technologically speaking, you are the transhuman equivalent of Pong.

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You’re Molly from Neuromancer!  You help to inaugurate the entire genre of cyberpunk.  On the other hand, you’re partly responsible for the entire genre of cyberpunk.

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Oh, now that’s not right.

Posted by Michael on 06/28 at 11:43 AM
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