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Sunday, October 16, 2005

Working overtime

Ann Arbor, MI (Rooters) – In a cliffhanger game extended by “Big House” Republican leaders until they won, the Michigan Wolverines defeated the Penn State Nittany Lions by two points on Saturday, 27-25.

“Sometimes you just need a little extra time to get things done,” said new House of Representatives majority leader Roy Blunt about the controversial call that gave Michigan two extra seconds on their final-minute, game-winning drive.  Michigan quarterback Chad Henne then threw a touchdown to receiver Mario Manningham with one second remaining.  “Last week we had to make an important giveaway to big oil, and the House of Representatives needed almost forty extra minutes, beyond the five we’d allotted, in order to keep changing the vote until we won,” Blunt said.  “This weekend the Michigan Wolverines needed only two extra seconds.  That’s not such a big deal, in the end.  The point is that people have to be flexible about these things until we fix them just the way we want them.”

No one has been able to account for the additional two seconds. Late in the final quarter, with Penn State leading 25-21, a completion from Henne to Carl Tabb near the left sideline got the Wolverines to the Penn State 32-yard line, but Tabb couldn’t get out of bounds before being tackled by Justin King. The Wolverines then called timeout with 28 seconds left. After some deliberation, the officials put two seconds back on the clock. Penn State head coach Joe Paterno said he did not receive an explanation for the added time.

“What can I do?” he said later. “There’s nothing I can do about it.”

The previous play, a 17-yard pass from Henne to Jason Avant, was also questionable. Television replays showed Avant’s heel landed out of bounds, but the Wolverines got the next play off before the officials could review it.

Nittany Lion fans in the stands chanted “shame, shame, shame” as the final tally was announced.

Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi also complained, saying the proceedings brought “dishonor to the Big House.”

“I don’t see why the losers are making such a fuss,” replied Rep. Fred Upton (R.- Michigan). “We haven’t built a new refinery in a generation. We need more.  And if we have to dangle a few of our colleagues out of their office windows by the ankles for forty minutes in order to change a vote from 210 yes - 214 no to 212 yes - 210 no, so be it.  That’s just the way the House works.”

“Likewise,” Upton continued, “when Penn State plays in our house, they play by our rules.  And our rules say the game isn’t over until we win.  That’s just the way the Big House works.”

Posted by Michael on 10/16 at 10:16 PM
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